Hi! Back again and this time sooner than the last time. I think I just need to write more and eventually I will get inspiration.

A/N: MUST READ! I have this line that are bold and cursive. The bold lines are Clare's good side. And the cursive lines are Clare's bad side. There is one line that is both bold and cursive because they 'said' that together.

I hope you enjoy this!

Chapter 3: Finding out

They spend the day ordering take out, snuggling up at the couch and watching movies all day long. Clare didn't think about anything that day. She felt good, but somehow she thought this was only for a day. She tried to shake that thought off of her. She felt happy now, why think about the bad stuff. Eli and Clare where lying on the couch. Watching Me before you. (A/N: My favourite movie)

They were almost at the point where the saddest thing happened, and Clare felt tears forming in her eyes. She looked behind her and saw that Eli felt asleep. She quickly moved his arm that was laying around her waist. Tears strolling down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry all the time. But every little thing was making her sad.

She walked to the bathroom and closed the door. Tears were falling faster and faster. She looked at herself in the mirror.

You're weak Clare. Losing the baby is what you deserve. And when Eli finds out that you are a mess, he will leave you too. You deserve to be in pain Clare. Clare, don't listen to that. You are beautiful. You just need to pick yourself back up. You'll be fine. Just keep your happy thoughts. Which happy thoughts? How you were happy with Eli? How you broke his heart for losing the baby? How that was your fault? Didn't he have enough pain Clare? Doesn't he deserve a girl who isn't cutting herself? You're not strong enough to go trough this Clare. You're weak, and there is nothing you can do about it. So go pick up that razor, and give yourself the pain you deserve.

The voices in her head were strong. And she didn't had the strength to fight them. She picked up the razor and put it on her arm. She made a few cuts and hissed in pain. She felt numb for a minute or two and let herself drop to the floor. Tears still streaming down her face. Good job Clare. Finally the pain you deserve.

Clare and Eli were laying in her bed talking about anything and everything. Clare put on a mask and said everything was fine.

''Clare, are you really fine? You've be silent all day.'' Eli asked.

''Yeah, just a little worried about exams and stuff. I hope I will graduate this year.'' Clare sighed.

''You'll be fine Clare. Even without studying you will make it. Don't worry about it to much.'' Clare looked Eli in the eye and almost wanted to believe him. She didn't want to say anything back, so she pushed her lips on his. Within minutes there kiss turned in to a full make out session.

Clare didn't think about anything accept for the love she has for Eli. He laid his hands under her sweatshirt onto her bare skin. Clare felt goosebumps rise over her whole body. Before she knew it Eli pushed her back on the bed. He was laying on top and started to kiss her neck. ''Eli..'' She moaned.

She wanted more of him and he wanted more of her. There lips found each other again. Eli pulled Clare up and removed her sweatshirt. Your cuts Clare! Said the voice in her head.

Before she realised it Eli takes her hand and looked shocked. ''What the hell is this Clare?''

Clare opened her mouth to talk. But no words came out. ''Talk to me Clare. What did you do?''

Tears were forming in her eyes. ''I can't…'' She whispered. She grabbed her sweatshirt and ran out the door.

So yeah! This was chapter 3. How did you guys like it? Please let me know. And let me know what you think that will happen!