"Comedy?" Finnick asked to Nick the next morning as they walked down Vulpes Way.
"Yeah Finn," Nick replied, "because the funny makes the money."
"Ey," Finnick replied, "I guess that's true."
"Maybe, we start simple, maybe some Icup-"
"ICUP jokes are so second grade," Finnick said as the two put a case on the floor for money, "allow me to start."
Nick stood in the back while Finnick went to the front.
"If bait for a fish is called Fish bait," Finnick said, "what is bait for a master called?"
Everyone just walked up and down the street.
"BOO YOU STINK!" someone shouted in the distance.
"Alright," he then said, "Here we get Saturday off, in Bunnyburrow they get Hump Day off." Finnick laughed really hard at that one but no one else was impressed.
"What's white and sticky," he then said, "GLUE!"
No one paid attention.
Nick then stepped up to the front.
"Ahem," he said, as he cleared his throat. "I like my churches the same way I like my chocolate. Norwegian and FLAMIN' HOT!"
"Nice one!" said someone in the background. An otter, in her early twenties, approached them and put some money in their case. She was wearing a black Exodus t-shirt.
"Hey thanks!" Nick said, "we need money to go to the Metallicat concert tomorrow."
"Sick," replied the otter, "I'll be at that show too with my boyfriend. We both go to Zootopia University."
"What's your name?" Nick then asked.
"Ashkii Lutrana," replied the otter, "and you?"
"Nick Wilde."
"And I'm Finnick."
"Well, best of luck to you," said the otter, as she skateboarded away.
Nick and Finnick continued to tell dirty jokes. Some came by and dropped coins in their suitcase, but others were definitely not impressed.
"Don't think this will work," Finnick said, "I mean, look, we only have 6 and a half bucks."
"Hmmmmm," Nick Wilde said as he pondered ideas, "How about music?"
"But," Finnick said, "we don't have any instruments."
"We'll just sing," Nick said, "you start."
"Okay, here goes," Finnick said, "NUTSACK! NUH-NUH-NUTSACK!" he sang to the tune of Love Shack. Some other kids gave them coins but not much else. He continued for five minutes before finally giving up.
"Alright," Nick said as he cleared his throat, "this one is an original. "DEEP IN THE WOODS OF FINLAND! THE TROLLS AND THE ELVES DRINK VODKA ALL NIGHT LONG! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAAAAAAAAH! AND IF YOU PARTY WITH THEM, I'M SURE YOU WILL-" but then his voice cracked horrendously.
"Paska," he said in Finnish, "fucking puberty man. I guess music is a lost cause too."
"Can you think of something else?" Finnick asked.
"Uhhhhhh," Nick walked around for a while as he tried to think of something, "I actually have no idea."
"Then I think this is a lost cause," Finnick said, "don't think we could actually go to this. Maybe next time they come. Also let's go home now, It's getting hot outside."
"Hot?" Nick asked.
"Yeah, I think we should go now. Plus I'm really thirsty. Wait, Nick?"
Finnick looked around but his best friend was nowhere to be seen.
"Just when we're doing something together." Finnick thought, "he just disappears on me. Is he really my friend?"
He walked around for a bit.
Minutes later, Nick re-appeared. He was carrying a giant many items, including a large bucket, a bag of sticks, and a giant jumbo-pop.
"Dude," Finnick said, "what the actual hell?"
"I got an idea," Nick said, "we melt this fucker down into this bucket, take the bucket to Tundratown, and refreeze them into multiple popsicles. Then we sell
them for two bucks a piece, and make some money. C'mon, this has to work."
"Oh my god," Finnick said, "You are an absolute genius. Now let's get this show on the road!"
The two went into a spot of direct sunlight, and held the jumbo-pop right over the giant bucket. In not too long, the whole thing was melted.
"Yo," Nick then said, as they headed over to Tundratown, "I think this will actually work."
"So," Finnick then said, "how should we melt refreeze them."
"Maybe in the shape of our own paws?" Nick said.
"But, then everyone would know what we touched them."
"Or," Nick said, as he pulled out a children's sized elephant costume.
"Where the fuck did that come from?" Finnick asked.
"The world may never know," Nick said, "but try this on."
It fit Finnick perfectly.
"We do it in the shape of the costume's feet?"
"Okay," Finnick then said.
The two made 100 holes for each popsicle stick to be stuck in. Nick did the job of pouring in the melted popsicle juice.
"Alright," Nick said as he put them into a cooler, "now let's go sell these bad boys."
"On it," Finnick said, as he took off his costume.
The two found a place right on Blagden Avenue. They wrote a sign that said "pawpsicles" on it and sold them for two bucks.
"Hey there," another young otter said as he approached them. He was wearing an Obituary t-shirt. "Hot day today. Would sure love to use one of these."
"Great," Nick said.
"Also, tomorrow, we I will be at the Metallicat concert. It'll be an absolute rager."
"Oh yeah," Finnick then said, "they are our favorite band."
"Nice to see," the otter said, "by the way I'm Emmitt Otterton. Zootopia University student and intern at Zootopia Botanical Gardens. How about you kids?"
"Nick Wilde."
"Finnick."
"And," Nick said, "you are our first customer. Two bucks for that."
"Great to see you too," Emmitt said, "by the way, this tastes absolutely delicious. I will definitely continue."
They continued to sell to a large group of lemmings, a Grison, and even more mammals both young and old, big, and small, and anyone they could find. Not too long later, they ran out of the last one.
"So," Nick said as they took down their stand, "We really sold the whole thing."
"Which means," Finnick said as he counted the money, "that we now have 200 bucks!"
"Holy shit!" Nick said, "we can buy the concert tickets, and we even can buy a third as well.
The two walked over to the Zootopia arena.
"Hey you too," said the Coyote who was behind the ticket counter.
"Uhhhhhh," Nick said, "we'll have three tickets for tomorrow's Metallicat concert."
"Okay," said the seller, "that would be 180 bucks."
"Alright," Nick then handed them the suitcase full of money, "here ya go."
The seller returned them their tickets.
"Those were the last three tickets to the concert," they said, "Hope ya have a great time," he then flashed the horns.
Nick and Finnick walked back to Nick's home carrying the concert tickets.
"So," Nick said, "that was great!"
"Indeed it was," Finnick said.
"Maybe," Nick said, "we could do this again if something else amounts as well."
"Yes," Finnick said, "we really should. We can even sell the sticks to make even more money."
"And," Nick said, "we can one day be rich. Holy shit! We can buy one of those giant-ass mansions in Tundratown and listen to all the metal we want. We can open our own concert venue there. Our own ski resort, theme park, whatever you name it!"
"That would be AWESOME!" Finnick said, as they walked towards the apartment.
"Mom," Nick said as he entered the room.
"Yes there," Tarja said.
"We made enough money for the tickets," Nick said, "and we even got one for you!"
"Oh Nicholas," Tarja said as she hugged her child, "I love you so much."
"Hey Tarja," Finnick said, "can I sleepover at your house tonight. My uncle Paul is visiting from and I DO NOT want to be around him."
"Well of course," Tarja then said, "you're always welcome here."