"Sai! Knock it off already! I told you to stop calling me Mr. Dilf!"

Shikamaru choked on his ramen when he heard the words. He coughed up the noodles then turned around in his seat to face the two shinobi entering Ichiraku.

Sai chuckled in response. "You can't expect me to not make fun of you for that, Naruto. What kind of friend would I be?"

"It's annoying," Naruto retorted with an angry snort. "And it's not funny anymore!"

"Oh, it's always going to be funny to me." Sai saw him and smiled at Shikamaru. "Hey, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru nodded at both of them.

"Shikamaru!" Naruto said as he sat down next to his friend.

Sai took up the seat next to Naruto and gave their order to Teuchi.

"Yup!" cried the older man and proceeded to drop noodles into the pot of water bubbling on the stove.

Shikamaru sent him a sideways glance and said, "So you're going around calling yourself Mr. Dilf now?"

Sai laughed quietly. Naruto glared at Shikamaru. "Not you, too! Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru smiled. "Temari told me. She heard from the girls."

"Ugh," Naruto said as a blush climbed up his cheeks. "It's not like I asked for it! I don't even know why women would think that about me."

Luckily, their order came and Shikamaru was spared from having to reply.

"Itadakimasu!" Naruto pried his chopsticks apart and sipped his broth. He glanced at the clock above the ramen master, who was busy filling orders of the new customers who came into the shop.

11:00 p.m.

Hinata and Boruto were probably sleeping right now. It was a good thing he'd told Hinata he would be late arriving tonight. He'd known the mission with Sai was going to take a while to complete and he'd told her to not make dinner and not wait up for him.

"I don't know why women would think that, either," Sai said. "It's not like you've got a big d—"

"Sai!" Shikamaru and Naruto yelled at the same time.

"You're such an asshole, sometimes," Naruto grumbled.

Sai shrugged then worked on his noodles.

Shikamaru leaned over the counter, looked past Naruto and frowned at Sai.

"Sai, have you always been this gossipy? Are you jealous that women think that way about Naruto?"

"I'm not gossipy," Sai calmly replied. "I'm repressed."

"I don't have a comeback for that," Shikamaru said. He turned back to his noodles.

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe now he can eat his noodles in peace. He took a sip of his miso soup. God, he was so hungry. The bento Hinata had made for him had been enough to last him until 6:00pm. But that was hours ago.

"Still, though, I'm puzzled by the sudden attention Naruto's gotten now that he's married and has a kid?" Sai said beside him.

Damn it. They weren't going to drop the subject. Naruto ate his noodles in angry silence and didn't bother to respond.

On his right side, though, Shikamaru answered the question seriously. "Why not? Sexual attraction, especially for people who are already taken, is a thing. And think about it, if there's such a thing as dilf, the opposite is true, isn't it?"

Sai was quiet for a second. "Oh, you mean our wives. Well, Ino's really hot, so I can understand it."

"Yes. My wife's very attractive, too," Shikamaru said.

Naruto stayed quiet, but Sai voiced the same thought he had in his head. "Once you get over the fear of Temari knifing you."

Shikamaru laughed, but it was filled with pride.

"Wait a minute." Naruto blinked rapidly, finally understanding. He paused in his enjoyment of his meal and stared at his bowl. He was barely touching his ramen, which made Teuchi frown a little.

"Hold up, Shikamaru! The opposite of dilf is m—" Naruto shook his head, took a deep breath. "Are you saying Hinata is a m-m-mi—

"I believe the word you want to say is milf?" Sai said with an encouraging smile.

"Sai!" Naruto howled.

Shikamaru nodded. "I am."

"What?! That means other guys might have fantasized about Hinata?! That men have been looking at and maybe even imagined touching her b-b-b—"

"Boobs," Sai provided helpfully.

"Breasts!" Naruto managed to yell out at the same time.

The other patrons glanced and frowned at the three of them.

Shikamaru and Sai soaked in the silence and watched as Naruto sputtered an apology for his outburst.

"Yes, I've read it somewhere in a book," Sai mused out loud. "Hinata's the secret fantasy that some men love: the cute, shy, quiet girl who turns out not to be when she's with you in the bedroom."

"Guys, I don't want to hear this. This is my wife, the mother of my son!"

"Exactly why she's a milf," Shikamaru explained. "Face it, Naruto, that's something you're going to have to deal with since you're married to an attractive woman."

"And Hinata is gorgeous," came a voice as the curtain to Ichiraku lifted up, revealing Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino.

"Woof!" Akamaru agreed.

"You guys!" Naruto said as he turned around to look at them.

They joined the other three at the counter.

"The usual?" Teuchi asked.

"Yes, please," Shino answered for both of them.

"Oh, god! You heard then?" Naruto said with an embarrassed groan.

"Who hasn't?!" Kiba yelled back. "Keep your voices down. These are respectable women you guys are discussing. Your wives, no less!"

"I'm not the one who started it! Sai and Shikamaru are the ones who keep bringing it up!"

Shikamaru only looked at Kiba speculatively. "You know, you guys have worked with Hinata all this time as Team Eight. Don't tell me you were never attracted to her?"

"Of course I have," Kiba said honestly. "When we were younger. But she only had Naruto in her heart, so it quickly fizzled out. I knew I never had a chance in hell."

"What?!" Naruto shrieked, shock in his voice and face. "You were lusting after my wife?! I want to beat you up right now."

"Asshole! Calm down. She wasn't your wife then! I said when we were younger, when I was fifteen!"

"Still!"

"You barely saw her as girlfriend material back then, so you better shut up and stop being an idiot."

"Oh, give him a break, Kiba," Sai said. "He's still new to this concept of 'thinking.'"

"Sai, you are so determined to provoke a fight with me tonight," Naruto growled.

"Kiba's not the only one who was attracted to Hinata," suddenly came Shino's quiet voice, interrupting the tension. Shino took a sip of his own broth from the ramen bowl that Teuchi had slipped to him and Kiba.

Everyone turned to him in surprise.

"Yes, I was, too," Shino said. He paused his eating of his ramen, placed his chopsticks over the bowl, steepled his fingers on the table, looked straight ahead, and opened his mouth:

"Why? Because Hinata's attractive, with beautiful long hair and porcelain skin. She's got very expressive eyes that lets you know exactly what she's feeling and thinking. The shade of her eyes are unique and you can't help but stare at them when she looks you in the eyes. She's got a very lovely scent that is addicting and you smell it every time she moves. The scent wafts over to you and reminds you so much of her, it's unforgettable. But it's more than that. She's also very kind and always has a nice thing to say to everyone everyday. Her words and her touch simply makes you feel loved every time you're with her. Hinata also shows her affection in different ways. She cooks her meals with a lot of love and makes sure that everything is healthy and delicious. The bentos she sometimes made for us were always something I looked forward to when we were younger."

Then Shino picked up his chopsticks and quietly slurped his noodles.

There was shock on everyone's faces.

"Shino…" Kiba said, but he didn't know what else to say to that unexpected and long monologue from their usually very quiet friend.

Naruto glanced at all of the men and got the message.

He was married to a hottie: a young, beautiful woman who was waiting for him at home. She was probably sleeping, but that wasn't going to stop him.

He knew her. Hinata would open her arms and gladly welcome him home.

He abruptly stood up, threw some money on the counter, and ran.

Kiba's eyes followed Naruto's progress. He was already so far away.

He then snorted with laughter and elbowed Shino. "Good job. There he goes. He's off to bother her now. She won't be getting any sleep tonight."

Shino only smiled and didn't pause from eating his ramen.

"Don't you guys think that Hinata might want to have Naruto out of the house once in a while? You know, to take a break away from him?" Shikamaru asked, his voice dry.

They all looked at him like he was stupid.

Shikamaru laughed. "I guess not."