Chapter 3 - Ducky

My colleagues know I've never shied away from sharing an interesting or relevant story. That is, until now. They would all like answers, but after six months they've finally stopped asking. It's not that I don't have them…I do. For the first time in memory, I wish I didn't have the answers.

Jethro seems relieved that I've kept silent on the matter. I choose to carry the burden of keeping this secret, but not to protect my oldest friend. I let him know in no uncertain terms it's out of loyalty to Anthony that I choose not to reveal the details of the confrontation that precipitated his resignation.

It was a departure I never saw coming when I tried to counsel Jethro on his increasingly irrational behavior and combative attitude toward Anthony. Though I didn't realize it yet, their working relationship neared a breaking point and indeed, their friendship had already deteriorated almost beyond repair as well.

It only took one brief, but final confrontation to sever them both permanently. Many times in these last few months, I wish I'd acted sooner.

~Flashback - Six Months Earlier~

"Jethro, I feel compelled to ask you about Mitch," Ducky ventured carefully.

Irritation flashed across Gibbs' features. "Been talking to DiNozzo."

"I didn't have to. That's the trouble with old friends. Sometimes they know your history more than you would like. They also can see your present state of mind. This isn't about NIS Agent Mitchell's son at all, is it? It's about Anthony," he guessed.

Ducky waited for Gibbs to answer one way or the other, but he remained inscrutable. Ducky knew Tony was benched on this case, for no reason anyone could discern, but no one seemed willing to question Gibbs about it except him. The act seemed to have backfired. Being benched only served to heighten the younger man's investigative instincts and suspicion as to why Gibbs wouldn't want him involved. Perhaps Jethro felt he had something to prove after the trauma of the shooting that nearly took his life.

"Jethro, when I had my heart attack on that beach, it changed me. I had to adopt a whole new perspective. I began to see life differently, and...," he paused with a rueful chuckle. "It really concerned me. Perhaps this newfound view of yours is accurate, but you must respect that others may need time to see it as you do. Even Anthony."

Gibbs stubbornly dismissed his observations. "Yeah, then there's the work, Duck," he replied curtly. "It's got to get done. You got to respect that, too."

Except for some reason, you are trying to keep him from doing the work, Ducky thought to himself uneasily as Gibbs turned to leave.

~Later that evening~

Autopsy was dark and empty. Gibbs paced in agitation then pulled out his phone and dialed. His impatience notched higher as the call went to voice mail.

"Where are you, Duck? Need to talk."

As he hung up he heard the whoosh of the door opening behind him.

"Ducky."

He turned, only to see Tony enter the room, a determined look on his face.

"Why didn't you tell me Long was more than some random case?" Tony demanded.

Gibbs ignored him, and stepped around Tony to leave.

"No," Tony said, putting a hand on Gibbs' arm to get him to stop.

Gibbs whirled back around, angrily knocking Tony's arm away. "Hey, get off my back!" he shouted. Tony blinked at the sudden display of anger, then got back in Gibbs' face. He needed to make sure Gibbs wasn't taking yet another trip off the rails.

"Not letting you walk away," Tony challenged. "It's in the NIS file. Hernandez was a small-time dealer in a big cartel, and he may have pulled the trigger, but he didn't make the big decisions. Long was his boss."

"What about it?" Gibbs asked, looking confused, trying to act as if he didn't already know.

"What do you mean, 'What about it'? This is personal for you, Gibbs. You and Mitch. You want revenge for your families, but what does that mean? Are you gonna put a bullet in Long's head the way you did to Hernandez?" Tony asked.

Denial was written all over Gibbs' face, but he wasn't sure the reaction was sincere.

"Gonna tell you this one time," Gibbs began. "We're gonna get Long on good evidence. This is above board. Do you understand what I just said?"

Tony didn't believe him; not when Gibbs concealed important information about the case…and his very personal connection to it. Why else would Gibbs have benched him? Because Gibbs knew Tony would interfere.

"I understand if you let Mitch get dirty, you get dirty, too."

"No, we agreed," Gibbs disputed. "This is above board."

"Then what is he doing right now?" Tony questioned. "Where is he?" Tony pressed, already knowing the answer that Gibbs clearly didn't.

"I just talked to him, he's at his hotel," Gibbs answered, confident Mitch was exactly where he claimed to be, and keeping to their agreement. "We're gonna start fresh in the morning."

Tony shook his head. Another example of Gibbs' questionable judgement. Gibbs might want to keep things above board, then again maybe he didn't. Neither of those possibilities changed the fact that Luis Mitchell obviously had his own ideas on what to do about Benson Long.

"No. He lied to you," Tony revealed. "We just pinged his phone. He's at Long's place."

Annoyance flitted across Gibbs' features, then he went expressionless. He turned away from Tony, moving to the elevator outside autopsy and tossing a dismissive 'I'm doing this alone' back over his shoulder as he jabbed the button.

The elevator chimed as Tony muttered, "I know." And that's the problem, Tony thought. He had to act fast or things were about to go very sideways.

"Wait, Gibbs!" Tony said urgently, following Gibbs. He put an arm across the elevator doors, preventing them from closing. "We're going with you. I'm not letting you do this without backup."

Gibbs stiffened angrily and stepped back out of the elevator. He advanced, his posture exuding threat, and Tony retreated to keep space between them.

"And I told you to get off my back," Gibbs hissed furiously.

"I don't think I will," Tony replied calmly. In for a penny, in for a pound, he thought. He couldn't leave things like this.

"Past history indicates future behavior, Gibbs." It was time he let Gibbs know exactly what he thought was happening here, even if it strained their ability to work together even further. "How many times now have you bent the law, or outright broke it to appease your personal sense of justice?"

Gibbs eyes narrowed at Tony's implication, but he didn't reply. It was true, after all.

"You benching me?" Tony continued. "You're acting completely out of character behavior and all those cryptic admonitions to take care of my team? It's just a distraction," Tony asserted. "You haven't given me a single damn reason not to suspect you haven't sided with Mitch in another vigilante mission to avenge your family. In case you forgot, you are part of the team and frankly, you shouldn't even be back in the field yet. I'm just making sure you aren't about to do something else incredibly ill-advised, and drag the rest of us into another mess."

Gibbs stared icily, trying to keep control of the irrational anger he felt, especially toward Tony these days. He'd underestimated his SFA, and he knew better. He should have known Tony would challenge him, not let things lie. He'd made yet another mistake in a long line of them dating back even before the Calling case that nearly got him killed. Suddenly infuriated beyond his ability to control, Gibbs lashed out and unleashed the anger, Tony its target.

Tony was startled, never truly expecting Gibbs to respond with physical violence, even though he nearly had moments earlier in autopsy when Tony tried to prevent him from leaving.

Gibbs surged forward and Tony felt the tight grip on his upper arms, then Gibbs was shoving him into the Autopsy wall. He was momentarily stunned into inaction when he struck the back of his head hard on the metal doorframe. Tony shook his head and winced, but refused to strike back, knowing Gibbs was vulnerable…not fully recovered from the shooting a few months earlier.

Tony adjusted his stance, while Gibbs kept him pinned to the wall with a forearm to the chest. He tensed, preparing to defend himself should Gibbs decide to press further with his attack.

Instead Gibbs stepped back, seemingly surprised at what he'd just done, and it was then both men realized they were no longer alone.

"What the devil is happening here?" Ducky rushed along the hall toward them, his shrewd gaze taking in the situation. "What's gotten into you, Jethro?"

Tony was mortified that Ducky had seen and overheard at least part of the confrontation. He'd deal with that later. He turned to Gibbs and held out an olive branch.

"Maybe you can stop being a tyrant for a minute, and tell me how I can help," Tony said in a quiet voice, meeting Gibbs' eyes steadily.

"I don't need you, or your help," he shot back at Tony. Gibbs ignored Ducky, who watched them, appalled at what he was seeing and hearing. "Does anyone?"

After that callous barb, it hit him suddenly, with a clarity that was almost shocking in its intensity. He couldn't stay here any longer, couldn't continue to work with Gibbs. They weren't a team any longer, and he couldn't keep butting heads with Gibbs without it affecting the others. Inexplicably, Gibbs seemed to view him as an adversary rather than an ally since returning from medical leave. It both saddened and angered him.

It didn't have to be this way, but Gibbs was in control here, and the director obviously had no interest in reining in his loose cannon agent. He couldn't change it, but he could remove himself from the situation. The clarity gave him confidence he was doing the right thing.

"You don't think you need me?" Tony asked. "Your performance on this case, and the last one come to think of it, says different."

Tony paused, reached up and rubbed the back of his head briefly, then brought the hand back around and held it up toward Gibbs, gazing at him meaningfully.

"So does your lack of self-control."

Ducky sucked in a breath on seeing smears of blood on Tony's hand.

"Since you don't seem to have a clue how unfit for duty you are," Tony added, "we're going to wrap this case, as a team. Then I'm gone. Vance will have my resignation tonight."

Gibbs gave him a stony look and snarled back at him, still angry at being challenged… being questioned. "Where do you think you're going to go?"

"Unlike you Gibbs, I haven't burned any bridges. And you've finally burned yours with me. As for where I'm going to go, that's none of your goddamn business."

With an apologetic glance at Ducky, he continued.

"Any one of the standing job offers I've had over the years will be a vast improvement over staying here and being subjected to your irrational behavior and abuse. Then there's doing damage control on the fallout of your questionable judgement. Not in my job description. I'm done."

Gibbs started moving toward him again. Tony's earlier resolve not to respond in a way that might re-injure Gibbs waned at seeing the uncontrolled fury on the man's face. After what he'd just said, he wasn't going to let the man hurt him any further. He also wasn't going to allow Gibbs to hurt anyone else for that matter, either directly, or indirectly by standing on the sidelines while Mitch did the dirty work.

Tony held up the bloody hand once more. "You got one pass, Gibbs," he warned. "You won't get another."

Ducky finally recovered from his shock and spoke sternly.

"That's quite enough, the both of you."

Gibbs threw one last dark look in Tony's direction, before side-stepping Ducky and wordlessly entering the elevator.

Ducky turned his attention to Tony as the doors closed.

"Come in, Anthony," he said, gesturing inside Autopsy. "Let me take a look at your head."

"It's nothing, Ducky. I've got to get back upstairs."

"You're bleeding," Ducky insisted.

"Ducky…there's no time. Gibbs is probably leaving the building, and I'm not entirely sure of his intentions."

Ducky sighed, nodding in understanding. "Come see me when you get back. I'll wait."

"I will," Tony agreed, striding quickly toward the stairs.

"Anthony," Ducky called after him.

Tony turned back. "Yeah, Ducky?"

It pained Ducky that he felt it was necessary to say this aloud. "Don't go alone. Take one of the others with you," he advised solemnly.

"Planned on it," Tony reassured him.

~End Flashback~

It will be a long time before I forget the events of that evening, much as I'd like to at times. It weighs on Jethro too; I can tell. It should. He's the reason Anthony's not here, leading a team of his own. And Anthony is the reason disaster was averted that night, making it possible for Jethro to still have a team to lead.

I remember the look on Anthony's face when the painful realization struck him; that he and Gibbs were irretrievably broken. That moment stays with me too, as much, if not more than the physical altercation. True to his word, Anthony submitted his resignation that very night.

Jethro was wrong that night outside Autopsy, and he still is. He needs Anthony far more than he knew, and it didn't set in until after he was gone. McGee is a more than capable agent, but unlike Anthony, he's far more likely to capitulate…to defer to Gibbs when standing up to him would be what is needed.

Gibbs' restructured team is finally beginning to settle in spite of early missteps and lingering undercurrents of tension. It's a precarious balance. I withhold the details of the altercation that led Anthony to leave because revealing them might alter that balance. Mainly, I don't tell the others because the one Jethro wronged asked me not to.

This particular story is Anthony's to tell, not mine, and he's chosen to keep it from the others. Countering his wishes would be a betrayal of trust and I won't join Jethro, who leads the ranks of those who've disillusioned him in that way.

I keep silent to preserve what remains of Team Gibbs, what they built here at NCIS, and the good they can still do. Anthony understands that I can remain so only until such time as those things are no longer possible. As erratic as Gibbs' behavior has become, that time may be sooner rather than later.

~Finis

AN: My happy ending loving heart breaks. I don't want Tony and Gibbs to be broken, but sometimes, there's just no fixing things. I've wanted to write a story around this episode for a long time because for me, it represented a significant turning point in the show. It was painfully difficult to write. The subtle distancing between Tony and Gibbs for the last couple seasons stopped being so subtle. It got in your face, so up close and personal that it was a shocking shift. This episode was a decision point for the writers, and from this point on, they got it wrong, IMHO. Which is one of many reasons why season 13 has become the "season of oh hell no" for me. Again with the sorry not sorry.

For a decidedly less happy ending and decidedly more angst, there is an alternate version of this story. Same title; but with "Version Two" in the title.