Evelyn's p.o.v.

I enter the lab and quickly grab my stuff. I look out the window and see Tony driving away. I push my lips together and make a weird, angry face, stretching my middle finger out, pressing it against the glass.

Turning away, I see Tonys suit and feel the urge to punch it in the "face".

"I hope our night out is still on.", I hear Nat's voice behind me.

"I'm not in the mood.", I say, grabbing my phone from the desk.

"You're really going to let him ruin your night?", she asks, arms crossed over her chest.

"Obviously.", I mumble.

"Come on. You're leaving soon to start your first mission. That needs to be celebrated."

I look at her, "Just one drink. No dinner or movies."

She smiles, "Sure. Come on, let's get going. Maria is waiting for us."

As we walk towards the elevator, Steve exits Fury's office.

"Going home?", he asks.

"We're going out for a drink. Wanna join us?", Nat asks.

Steve looks from Nat to me and smiles, "Sure. Evie will be leaving soon so I guess it would be a nice goodbye."

I smile back, "Getting out of your comfort zone for me? I like that."

"Well, you deserve it."

Steve and I are close. A little too close for Tony's liking but I don't care. Nothing ever happened between us but you can feel the sparks now and then. I know how much Peggy means to him, even after all these years so I never hit on him openly. It's just fun and games I suppose.

"Well finally.", Maria comments as we exit S.H.I.E.L.D.

"She needed a little push.", Nat informs her.

"Thought so. I heard your argument with Tony.", she tells me.

"Yea.", I simply say.

"Where to? Evie just wants a few drinks.", Nat tells Maria.

"One drink.", I correct her.

She smirks, "Sure."

"There's a new pub just ten minutes drive from here. Wanna go there?", Maria asks.

I nod, "Sure."

"Okay. Just drive behind me and I'll lead the way.", Maria tells us and we all enter our cars while Steve hops on his bike.

"I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised. Captain America joining us for drinks? That's not an everyday scene.", Maria tells Steve as we sit down.

"Change is good every now and then.", Steve tells her.

"It sure is.", she agrees.

"Spit it out Hill. Did you knew about the mission?", Nat asks the moment our drinks arrive.

"Sure.", she tells her, taking a sip from her cocktail.

"And you knew everything about the magic world?", I ask.

She nods.

"And you didn't tell us.", Nat comments, narrowing her eyes.

"You know I can't talk about stuff like that. Fury would kill me."

Nat looks at Steve, "Did you know?"

He shakes his head, "I had no clue. You know he doesn't share things like that with me."

"I'm more surprised you and Clint didn't know.", I say, lifting the beer bottle and pressing it to my lips.

Nat frowns, "Why the hell would I know about stuff like that?"

"You're in S.H.I.E.L.D. way longer than any of us.", I say.

"That doesn't mean anything. Only a few agents know what's on Fury's mind and details about upcoming missions. Fury's very strict about that."

"And that's for the best.", Steve informs us.

I smile and shake my head a little.

He lifts his eyebrow, "What?"

"It's so clear that you where in the military.", I say.

"Why?"

"Because you follow orders not asking any questions.", Nat tells him.

"I like it that way. I know what I need to know and that satisfies me."

"Really? Don't you get a little curious?", Maria asks.

"No, not really."

"Discipline.", I say, taking another sip.

"So, how do you feel? You've been longing for a mission for a long time.", Nat asks.

"I'm a little bit nervous.", I say.

"Why?", Maria asks.

"I don't know. It's my first mission. I guess I'm a little scared of failure."

"Thor will be with you so you don't have to worry about anything. And if something goes wrong, you can always call us.", Steve comforts me.

"I know that but calling any of you is the last thing I wanna do."

"Don't. If you'll need help, if you ever feel like it's too much, call. We don't want you to get hurt. Two man missions are dangerous.", Steve tells me.

"He's right. I now you wanna prove yourself to tony but don't be stubborn.", Nat tells me.

I frown, "I don't wanna prove myself to anyone. I just want Tony to realize that I'm not a kid anymore and that I'm more than capable taking care of myself."

"He's your brother, it's his job to worry.", Steve tells me and I roll my eyes.

"Do you want me to talk to him?", Nat asks me.

"No. It's not going to help, trust me. Can we change the subject, please?"

"You will love the stuff we prepared for you.", Maria tells me with a grin.

"Can't wait to see them.", I say with a small smile.

"Come to the tech lab tomorrow and I'll show you."

"I will at one point. I still need to fix Tony's suit and that will take time."

"You need help?", Steve asks.

I smile, "Seriously? You don't seem like a big tech guy."

"Hey, I can be useful and hand you ...things."

Steve's definition of useful is not the same as mine, obviously, but I know Tony will be pissed when he founds out that Steve helped me so that's a big plus.

I smile, "Sure, why not."

Severus's p.o.v.

My eyes flew open and my body gets into a sitting position, struggling for air. I place my palm over my chest, feeling my heart race.

I still feel her body in my arms. After all these years, the feeling is like it happened yesterday and the nightmares are not helping.

Closing my eyes, I can see the scene clearly in my head. Her lifeless body lying on the floor, next to the crib ...Harry's screams still pears my ears.

I put my bare feet on the cold, wooden floor and stand up, walking towards the little round table, placed in front of the fireplace. I take a glass and pour the light brown liquor in. Drinking is not something that I usually do but after dreams like this, I need something to calm me down.

I rub my face with my palms and ran a hand trough my hair. I tried so hard to forget about her, to forget about that night but ...I just can't. After all this time, she still lingers in and around me. I think about her every day. Her red, soft hair that smelled like spring. Her silky soft skin and the feeling I would get when she placed her arms around me. Her voice that used to calm all my inner demons ...and her eyes. Her beautiful, emerald green eyes that pierced trough my soul. I felt naked around her. She saw me as no one else did. Well, until she met James.

My grip around the crystal glass tightens. James. What in the world did she see in him? That question still hangs over my head.

Finishing the drink, I pour myself another one. Looking at the fire slowly burning, I remember how many times Dumbledore has told me to move on. And I tried. God knows I did but it just isn't possible.

The first time life punished me was when I called Lily a mudblood ...James was there to comfort her. To be here for her, to protect her from me and my words. I know that's the day I broke her heart and burned all the bridges towards her.

The second time was when I foolishly, out of spite, decided to join Voldemort. His reward for my decision was her death. I picked me over her, at least that's what it seems like. If I knew what was going to happen, I would pull my heart out rather than held her lifeless, cold body in my arms that night.

And this time, I decided to punish myself. I won't move on, I don't deserve that. My happiness is the price for her life. The only thing I can do ...the thing I owe her. She can't see her son growing up and I will never forgive myself for that. I deserve to suffer. Not that anyone could break the walls I've build over the years. Not that anyone would ever try. And that's what makes my decision easier.