With the bar now empty I refilled my glass of whiskey and started towards the door. As I walked through the hinge saloon doors I couldn't help but remark at the defining silence. Not a whisper, not a bird, nothing. When I stepped out into the street I started to walk but then realized I had no idea where to go. "Looking for someone?" A voice asked behind me, scaring the living shit out of me as he did.
Unfortunately for him, I still had the reflexes of a gunslinger I already had my gun pointed at his head when he threw his hands up dropped his bag of doughnuts. "Woah there, I'm not going to hurt you," He said with a sheepish smile on his face, obviously scared for his life. "Sorry about that friend, old reflexes tend to come up at the worst times," I said laughing and putting my gun away. "It's OK, not the first time I've had a gun pointed at me," He said laughing again.
Looking at the guy's face, I could see he was a pretty good guy, innocent and almost child-like. After years of killing the worst of the worst Gunsmoke has to offer, you learn to spot a friendly face. "Any idea where Vash the Stampede went?" I asked him. "Well everybody in town ran that way," he said pointing to the right. "So I can only guess he's that way, most likely in the town square," he said pointing in the opposite direction. As he moved his hand the other way I noticed a gigantic pistol at his hip.
"Thanks, looks like I'll be heading to the town square then. By the way, I didn't catch your name," I said walking up to him and extending my hand in thanks. "Not a problem," He said with a smile as he shook my hand. "Oh, and my name is Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andry Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III," He said with a laugh. "Wow, that's one hell of a name friend," I said with a slight laugh. "Names Billy Mercer but people call me Bombshell Billy," I said. "Well, thanks again for the help Valentinez," I said walking towards the town square and Vash the Stampede. "Anytime!" he managed to mumble through his full mouth.
I made my way to the center of town with only the silence to entertain me and horrible thoughts to haunt me. "Had he already killed them all? Am I too late?" I wondered to myself listening for the slightest hint of sound. I walked until I saw the words 'Octovern Town Square' on a sign in front of me. It was as chilling as the rest of the town though, not a single soul in sight. I started looking around when suddenly a building behind me exploded, sending me 10 feet back and dazed.
"Hey, asshole! You looking for trouble?" I heard a voice ring out from above. I quickly jumped to my feet at had my gun pointed at the owner of the voice I had heard. "That depends, are you Vash the Stampede?" I said. After a minute or two I was finally able to get a good look at him. He was a lanky fellow in a purple and green pinstriped suit with sunglasses on and short blonde hair standing on the top of the town hall. "What if I am? What the hell are you gonna do about it?" He yelled back at me pointing two huge cannons mounted on his back at me. "Are you Vash the Stampede yes or no?" I asked loudly. I had to admit his firepower was impressive but I still had experience on my side and that had never failed me before. "Let's see, does this answer your question?" He asked, proceeding to level half the town square with 2 shots.
I knew that if he could cause that much damage, he had to be The Humanoid Typhoon. "That's good enough for me," I said with a smirk. Before he could react I cracked off two shots, both hitting his cannons and each bullet exploding on impact. "Ha! You think that will stop me?" He yelled at me, shooting directly at me this time. Luckily for me, I had enough experience dealing with trigger-happy assholes to know the pattern. They all think they're hot shit but they're never smart enough to shoot where you're going to be instead of where you're at. After a minute or two of dodging exploding cannonballs, I managed to hide among the debris.
"Is that really all you got? Can't ANYBODY in this god damn town give me a challenge?" I heard him yell above me. I reloaded my gun and stepped out from the rubble, smirking as I did. "Well well well Vash the Stampede, I must say your reputation precedes you," I said catching his attention. "How the hell are you still alive?" He yelled furiously at me. "Well you see, were I any normal person I would, in fact, be dead right now," I said reloading the spent cartridge I had shot. "However, I am by no means normal," I said pointing my gun directly at his head this time. "I'm the fucking 'Bombshell' and YOU, Vash The Stampede, are going to die today!" I said pulling the trigger.
Unfortunately, the little bastard was quicker than thought so I missed his head. I did luckily manage to accidentally hit one of the pins holding his left cannon in place so it wasn't I complete failure, at least I thought so. "Run Vash! Run as fast as you can! I promise you though, there is nowhere on this planet you can hide that I can't find you!" I yelled at him as I watched him run from rooftop to rooftop until he disappeared.
"God Damn It!" I yelled into the air as I fell to my knees and started punching the ground. "I had him! I was so close!" I yelled again. "Your right, You were," I heard a familiar voice say behind me. Even though I knew the voice it didn't stop my reflexes from once again pointing my gun at that Valentinez guy again.
"Would you stop doing that! I'm going to accidentally shoot your ass one day!" I said angrily at him. "Sorry Billy, I didn't mean to startle you," He said walking up to me. "I was so damn close! I had him in my sights and I missed!" I yelled to the dirt slamming my fist down again. "Hey I know you're feeling disappointed right now but I know what will cheer you up," He said kneeling and smiling at me.
"Yeah? What's that?" I said like a total prick back at him. Thankfully he didn't take offense as he reached into his pocket. "A great night on the town with your new friend," He said with a laugh as he held out a wad of money. "Thanks for the offer but I really don't have the time. If he's half as good as they say he is then he could be 10 miles away by now," I said, getting off my knees in the process.
"I'll make you a deal, one night to make you feel better than tomorrow I'll help you catch him myself," He said with a smile as he extended his hand. "I don't even know you, are you even any good with a gun, or do you just have such a big gun cause you're a lousy shot," I said to him. Without saying a word he unholstered his gun and opened the break. He loaded the gun and spun the cartridge as fast as I've ever seen one go and snapped the gun shut. Before I could blink he shot 6 shots in a perfectly symmetrical cross in a nearby abandoned building. "Alright then, you've got yourself a deal. I'll live it up with you tonight in case we both die tomorrow," I said with a laugh as patted him on the back of his trench coat.
"That's the spirit!" he said jokingly. "By the way, I'm starving. Do you like salmon sandwiches?" He asked as we walked back towards the saloon. "Hell yeah, I do!" I said as we walked away. I knew today I had missed my chance to kill that murdering son of a bitch but hopefully, with the help of the goofy badass, I would have a better shot. Hell, to be honest, he could have taken the entire $$60,000,000,000 and I wouldn't have cared. All I wanted was to see the life slowly fade from that bastard's eyes as I did with my daughter 6 months ago. That to me was worth more than all the money that existed.