A/N: Hello all and welcome to the second official chapter of Eternally Retold. I had forgotten about it about halfway through writing the chapter, but I have a nice little announcement for you at the bottom of this chapter. Um…let's see…oh yeah, trigger warnings apply to this chapter somewhat.
Eternally Retold
Summary: Though she had been freed from Soul Edge's curse, Jane's mind was not at ease. Wrecked with guilt and despair, the young knight attempts to atone for what she did. But, she'll find that the road to redemption is much more difficult than she believed
*Despair*
Jane had been on the move for about six or seven hours when she finally decided to call it a day. Atlas was far behind her, though she could still see the plumes of smoke that came from the floating city as it burned. She hadn't seen another person since the huntsman she killed earlier and was grateful. Even though she saw herself as nothing more than a vile demon spewed from the mouth of the pools of Grimm, she couldn't let anyone else die by her hand. I've caused enough people pain. At least in exile, I won't have to worry about murdering anyone else.
Her malfested hand throbbed in pain and the blonde knight winced. The monster inside her roared in frustration, craving the sweet release it would get when Soul Edge skewered an innocent.
Jane took a few moments to try and focus her damaged aura in soothing the pain. It sparked to life and it numbed her mangled claw to the point where she eventually couldn't feel it. However, her reserves were still nearly empty and she wasn't rested enough for it to handle any more of that kind of stress. Still, she supposed that a few brief fleeting moments of respite was better than nothing. Maybe in the morning, I can properly heal myself.
The exiled knight set about clearing the snow off the ground to make her resting place less frosty, wincing as the harsh cold ate away at what little aura she had left. It crackled and died, leaving her fully exposed to the elements. Curse Solitas and this damn weather. The snow burned the tips of her fingers and she bit her lip, trying to block out the pain as she cleared more of it. It was difficult enough to do with one hand, but no aura to help her withstand the freezing conditions of Remnant's northernmost continent really was nothing to sneeze at.
Maybe the Gods heard my plea and came to grant me what I wish for. The thought was bitter and resentful, and she hated every minute she was alive. Death is too easy of a punishment. At least if I died I could be at peace. But instead, I live while everyone I ever loved is dead in the ground. Why?
Why couldn't I have just bled out on the ground?
The blonde let out a bitter laugh, standing up and wiping her face. I know why. Because it's much more cruel to have me live with this torment. Every day I live is another day I'm reminded of what I've done. Who I am.
She heard the soft caw of a raven nearby and Jane glanced over to see one land on a nearby tree limb. The bird's brilliant red eyes seemed to glow with power and it opened its beak again to caw out to her. Jane extended her hand and to her surprise it flew over to her, landing gracefully on her. The temptation to pet its glossy feathers was suddenly there and she was about to when the sight of her mangled claw stopped her.
The blonde knight lowered her head in despair, wanting nothing more than to cry. But alas, the eighteen year old had found she had run out of tears to shed. In just a day she had suffered a lifetime's worth of agony to the point she didn't want to exist. Shivering, Jane let the raven fly away and tried to start a fire to keep warm, having used Soul Edge to cut down some trees that looked like they would burn for long enough for her to get some rest.
Part of me wants to just roll over and die, and it's the loudest. The other, much quieter side wants to push on. It says my redemption as a human being isn't in dying. It's living, so I can make sure this never happens again. But how can I? Even if I press on to make sure no one dies by my hand again, who's to say someone won't finish me off? Barely any aura left, no way of knowing where the hell I am, and I sure as hell can't keep going in the tundra forever. I'll die from the cold before I even make it to the Grimmlands.
Looking back at her decision to leave Atlas, it probably wasn't the smartest to just venture out into the tundra blind. That was the kind of attitude that landed her in this problem to begin with. Her blind stupidity and anger led her to running through a Grimm infested forest in the middle of the night, only to find Soul Edge.
The cursed sword's eye slowly blinked at her as she stared at it and she shivered as cold hard nails dug into her shoulder. "Don't fret, my darling. You'll succumb to it again soon. And when you do, I will be waiting for you as it was meant to be."
Get your filthy fucking claws off of me! Jane ripped her shoulder free, blood welling up from the cuts. She turned to face the demon that had defiled her against her will, ignoring her pleas for it to stop. A storm of anger brewed in her brilliant blue eyes and her aura resurged, one hand reaching for the fleshy red zweihander. "You already took everything from me. I'm not your toy anymore!"
She swung Soul Edge towards the demon and it smiled, catching the blade in its clawed hand easily despite her swinging it with enough force to cut a Goliath in half. "You…are nothing without me. I gave you power to rival the Brother Gods themselves and this is how you repay my generosity? You need to be taught a lesson, you disobedient bitch."
The blonde froze at the implications of what the foul master of Soul Edge intended to do to her, the panic settling in a pool in her stomach. "No…no, not again…"
The demon snarled and backhanded her, throwing the disgraced knight to the side. Jane tumbled in the snow and she slowly got up, letting out a muffled scream as the bastard's clawed hand gripped her by the throat and slammed her into a nearby tree. Her feet weren't even touching the snow and she struggled to get free, the nails digging into her flesh. Blood trickled down her neck as she desperately squirmed, her damaged aura trying to resurge like it did before. Come on, come on! Anything to get out of this!
"It is futile to resist me," the demon said, spitting the last word with venom. "Admit it. When you killed Ozpin, you felt the rush of blood and smiled. You felt no shame in your heart."
No! You're wrong…
"Am I, Jane? I was there for when you murdered him like a helpless sheep. Your friends wanted to help you too, and how did you repay them? By cutting them down like the demon you are."
Get off!
"It is futile to resist."
Pyrrha, help me!
Her desperation for her former partner seemed to give her aura life; it recharged completely before bursting outward, forcing the foul master of Soul Edge to drop her. It reared back with a pained hiss, glaring at the blonde as she picked herself back up, holding the red zweihander in front of her. "I'm not your fucking toy. Not anymore."
Soul Edge became cloaked in lightning and she swung the massive blade at the demon. I still have access to Soul Edge's magic. Even with shards broken off of it, it's still too dangerous to be around civilization. The bolt of lightning hit the demon and it shattered like glass. Another illusion, like the one from before. Jane lowered her weapon, its magic fading away. What did I do to get my aura back up that quickly? Was that my semblance? Aura amplifier?
She wanted to laugh mirthlessly at that. Of all the damn times to finally unlock her semblance, it sure picked a convenient one. If she wasn't able to amplify her aura, she was pretty sure she would be wishing for death right about now. Does it even matter that I finally have my semblance after all this time? I still can't do anything except keep running. If I even meet someone else, I'll lose control and become Nightmare again.
"Hah. Pathetic girl. You already are Nightmare. Or have you forgotten the brave and noble huntsman you murdered?" Soul Edge's eye blinked, dark red energy swirling around in its pupil. It was slowly gathering its strength, meaning she'd have to act fast if she wanted to make it to the Grimmlands in time before it exerted its power over her.
But she couldn't keep going today. She was exhausted, hungry, and didn't know how long she'd be able to last on her own. If she didn't find something to eat within a day or two, she wouldn't have the strength to even lift Soul Edge to defend herself. I have to finish making myself a place to call it a day. If I still have access to Soul Edge's magic, I can use it to start a small fire. Almost feels like cheating, but I am in no mood to try it with just friction alone.
Jane pointed the cursed sword at the small fire pit she had managed to build earlier and flicked her wrist. A stream of fire burst from the tip of Soul Edge and ignited the woodpile, driving the chill away from her bones. The blonde knight rested the zweihander against a nearby tree, the handle pointing towards her in case she needed to ward off any Grimm that came by looking for a late night meal.
As if I could hope the damn Grimm will keep away. They latch onto negativity like locusts. No matter how many I kill, there's always more to take their place. Jane rubbed her eyes with her human hand, sitting as close to the fire as she could tolerate. One day in the Solitas tundra was enough for her to not underestimate just how deadly the cold was on Remnant's most northern continent.
Her stomach growled in protest and she groaned as she started to already feel the effects of hunger settle in. There has to be some sort of wildlife that has adapted to the cold. Deer or rabbit. Ugh. Just the thought of it makes me not want to eat it unless I have no choice. She could almost imagine the shock and horror on Ruby's face if she were still alive.
Ruby…you were the first and best friend I ever had. I'm so sorry. For everything. If I could take it all back, I would. I'd give anything to have you with me right about now. You always inspired others and would know what to say to me to keep me moving. Maybe one day, I'll get to see you all again. I can only hope.
"Well, well, well. Look at what we have here, boys. Are you lost little girl?" someone said behind her. Jane whirled around to see three bandits armed with rifles designed to take down a Goliath.
"The hell do you want?" she asked hoarsely, reaching for Soul Edge. They either know who I am and want to try their luck or have no idea living out here. If possible, I'd like to just knock them out.
"You. Dead." The bandit leading the pack opened fire and Jane's aura surged to life, absorbing the blow easily. It made her stumble, but she was able to right herself and grab her red zweihander. She flipped the blade around in her hand before swinging it, the blunt fleshy end of it catching the first one in the ribs. His aura shattered completely as he tumbled, however the blonde found herself on the defensive again, spinning the fleshy red sword in her hands to block the gunfire. A few bullets made it through, bouncing off her aura and making her grimace. It may have not drawn any blood, but they still stung something fierce.
Jane jumped back a few meters to give herself a little more breathing room, hoping there was still enough of Soul Edge's magic to last her in this. She was tired and could feel herself slipping in her defenses, bullets pinging off her aura. Damn bandits. Why can't they just see that one of them is unconscious and run away? Are they that stupid or just plain suicidal?
Jane hissed as one bullet grazed her cheek, narrowly missing her head. The blonde could feel the wetness trickling down her face, the bullet actually breaking through her aura where it was weakest. "Go AWAY!" She swung Soul Edge in a series of arcs, the sheer size of the blade making them back off. Jane still had the muscle memory of being Nightmare engraved into her mind, meaning it would be relatively easy to dispatch them even in her severely weakened state. All she had to do was be careful. Soul Edge in hand or not she was still outnumbered.
One bandit, this one with a jagged scar through his right eye, leapt at her. He had ditched his rifle in favor of a pair of golden daggers, intent on slicing her to ribbons. Jane brought Soul Edge to meet them, her malfested hand trembling as the monstrosity within her growled for release. "Release me. Now. You cannot hope to survive without me."
No! I'm not letting you take control ever again! Jane's malfested hand moved on its own, bashing Soul Edge into the bandit's attack. The well timed bash forced him to drop his daggers and before she could tell him to leave, Soul Edge buried itself in his chest. The blonde looked at the river of blood flowing down the cursed sword, following the sticky red trail all the way down to where her claw grabbed the hilt. "I…I'm so sorry…"
She removed the sword slowly, glancing over at the bandit who had just watched his friend get massacred. "Do you still want to fight me?"
"You...you'll pay for this!" he shrieked, eyes wild.
"Then your fate is sealed. As is mine." Jane hated that the bastard's stubbornness was what was going to kill him. Why did everyone seem to lose the ability to just run away? Was it fear that kept them fighting? Desperation? Hope?
Arrogance?
Soul Edge came up and over her head with one swing. She heard the snapping of bones before the sword even finished coming through the bandit's midsection. Jane looked at the trio of bodies surrounding her and lowered her head, stabbing Soul Edge into the ground. "I wish it didn't have to come to this…"
No use in trying to change anything. Might as well check the bodies for supplies before they go rancid. The blonde knelt down and looted their pockets, taking their small stashes of salted meats and dried fruit. Wasn't exactly a three course dinner, but it sure as hell beat starving to death in this cold. Jane took a handful of what she assumed was salted beef and stuffed it into her mouth, giving into her hunger. The protein bars she had looted she would come in handy, but she wouldn't want to eat them if she could afford it. They were some of the most nutrient dense substances known on Remnant, but they were also revolting to eat. Anyone who had eaten them found normal military MREs to be five star cuisine in comparison. If I ever live long enough, I'm going to find the person who invented these vile things and force them to eat it. Starving to death almost looks appealing compared to this.
The blonde grimaced at the blandness of the meat but powered through, steeling her stomach. If she wanted to make it out of the tundra alive, she'd have to learn how to hunt to keep from dying of hunger.
After she was done eating what she could stomach down, the blonde grabbed one of the fallen bandits' rifles, checking the ammunition count. Half a magazine, fifteen bullets. Fifteen potential kills. The Dust rounds she found on their bodies would sustain her a little longer, buying her more time to get out of Solitas. She had maybe another week's worth of supplies if she stretched it long enough. Hopefully the next village had an airship she could repurpose. Or maybe the bandits who tried to ambush her had a better means of transportation than walking.
How did they know I was here? No one saw me leave Atlas. No one is even supposed to live out here aside from the occasional poacher or survivalist. Maybe it means there is a village closer than I initially thought. The fact they attacked me all the way out here means civilization can't be that far away. In that case, I better steer clear. I already know what'll happen if I lose control and Soul Edge possesses me.
The Azure Nightmare settled back own in front of her makeshift campground, making sure Soul Edge was not within her reach and opting for one of the rifles instead in case a Grimm came to pay a visit. She lied down in front of the fire, watching the flames flicker wearily. Maybe…maybe I can finally get what I want. The sweet release I've been craving since waking up in Atlas.
Jane closed her eyes to sleep, unaware of the red energy swirling around Soul Edge behind her.
A/N: It took a little longer than I expected to get this out. But I had written myself into a corner with the original draft and I had to find a way to unfuck it without redoing the entire chapter. The original draft of this chapter had non-con in it and I made a promise to never write that again if I could help it.
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