Kakashi ends up staying. Sachi had a point, pained as he was to admit it to himself. Kasui had his balls in his hands by the embarrassing amount of medical reports from their fights, and he didn't want to lose his job.
He goes back to his apartment, recognizing the same kind of emptiness from Sachi's house; he packs as fast as he can, deciding to take this crazy ordeal like a mission. He's careful to take the same path in case he stumbles into a seal, and lets his bag in the living room.
Sachi was a mystery to him. He had been just once to the Hokage Residence, the first and last babysitting duty for baby Naruto, but he hadn't noticed the house to the side; too busy cradling a toddler with a penchant for eating anything he could find.
The rest of the house is pretty much the same as the exterior, grown rather than constructed side by piece, it had been Hashirama's work. It took him a curious tour around the house to realize that it was none other than Tobirama's part of the Hokage's Residence.
He notices seals carved in the wood, Tobirama and Sachi's work mixed into one. It gave the house a humm of energy, white noise that Kakashi was still getting used to, and a familiar sensation. The house was unmistakably Sachi's, her presence sparkling in every corner, her signature marks on anything you could lay eyes upon, and there was even more hidden from plain sight.
The living room and kitchen were connected, a sliding door that was kept open between them. To the other side was some sort of guest room, devoid of anything than a low table and a wardrobe in a corner. Deeper into the house, on the other side of the precious garden, was another set of rooms that were barren except for the bare minimum.
On the upper floor, however, was dedicated solely to a study so immense that Kakashi had problems wrapping his mind around. Filled with bookshelves, scrolls and tables, Sachi's work was plainly displayed in the clutter.
The house was kept clean and neat, not a dirty dish in the sink much to Kakashi's dismay, but the study… it was a complete disaster. Kakashi peeked around, testing the boundaries. If she didn't want him to invade her privacy she shouldn't have brought him to her house. Serves her right for the times she did just that during the war.
(She had been there again. A note on the kitchen counter, 'There's food in the fridge. Don't throw it, I'll know.' it said. The apartment was clean, dust not even on the top of the shelves, the rooms aired and fresh.
A sweet, familiar scent welcomes him. It's clean, and irony, and honeyed at the same time; he doesn't like it, but he can't deny how it makes him feel at home. He knows that scent, he knows who it belongs to.
And that makes his heart beat painfully in his chest.)
The windows give sight to another garden, shadowed by the Hashirama Trees; the setting sun let a tiny trickle of light into the large room, the golden tones cladding the study in an ethereal kind of glow, a dream like appearance. Paired with the utter quietness of the house, the humm of energy subdued but rumbling softly.
Kakashi had the impression of going into the dragon's den, looking at the shut sliding door at the end of the room. Before it was a table, or more of a stone platform supported by thick wooden legs. Peering down he sees a map of Leaf carved into the shiny surface, black and polished.
His common sense advises him to not touch the table, but he does anyway. The rock is warm to the touch, alive, little dots of light travel across the ridges while others are still. Kakashi follows the lines before stopping at the Hokage Residence. He can see two dots in the house, almost touching, and he traces them with his nail.
The Barbican.
He had seen it once, through the side of his eye when he had been reporting to the Hokage and the village was in some sort of emergency. Sachi had had her office open, an identical table that she was looking at with a deep frown.
It… interested him. Like the others, he had heard about the oh so great Barbican, bane of the suicidal shinobi for it allowed a real time view of what happened in-village. Seals must be involved, because with Sachi it was a given, but Kakashi was taken by the sight.
There were so many little dots, going to one place to another. Kakashi saw the edges, dots appearing and disappearing in groups as they came and went for or from missions. His apartment complex, with his neighbours milling around, the bars and pubs brimming with light as ninja and civilians alike went to drown their sorrows or find someone to share their loneliness with.
The thought of every and each one of those dots being a human, with a name and a surname and a place in the village, was mind boggling to him. His life was his career and his tight bundle of comrades that he called friends. Kakashi could only guess where Genma was, or Raidōfor that matter, Asuma and Kurenai probably together. A glance to Kurenai's apartment gave him no insight, the dots identical to him, but it made him look more intensely.
"Cool, right?"
He looks up, startled, Sachi sliding the door to her bedroom behind her. She had changed clothes, a loose short sleeved shirt and knee-length pants. Kakashi blinked a few times, not connecting the image of a casual Sachi with the never-catch-me-with-a-hair-out-of-place business woman that he thought of when her name came up.
Her hair was down, the bandages still on, and for the first time in his life, Kakashi saw more skin than her face and tips of her fingers.
"What do you think?"
She had really nice legs.
"About what?"
She quirks and eyebrow. "The Barbican? Pretty cool, isn't it?"
Oh. "I guess. Would be more impressive if I knew how it worked."
"Want to become the Watchtower, Kakashi?"
Sachi comes closer, putting her bare hand on the table. Immediately, seals that he hadn't noticed before appear, the rock lighting up but not enough to blend with the dots. Kakashi could read the names of the streets, carved too and carefully painted in black. The table gets warmer, not quite hot to take his hand away, but it's… nearly human.
Sachi doesn't look at Kakashi, letting her eyes wonder across the table with a small smile on her lips. Proud, Kakashi thought, she was proud of her work.
"You've decided to stay, then?"
"Better than Psych."
"The lesser of two evils." she muses, leaving the Barbican, the table going black once more. "Get comfortable. You can take the guest room in front of the living room or take the couch, you know where the kitchen is and my office… oh, the bathroom is on the other side of the wing, right side. Use the hallway if you want to visit Minato-san and Kushina-san, Naruto-kun will be thrilled to see you."
He follows her out of the study, walking the long way back to the living room. Sachi takes the bag Shizune packed for her, only then noticing the bright blue snail on her right temple. "There's food in the fridge, snacks in the pantry… and I think that's it. Any questions?"
"Do you give this speech to every man you bring here?"
She smirks. "Wouldn't you want to know. I'm making sure you don't get lost in my house and stumble upon my darkest secrets. Unintentionally, of course."
"Of course. What are you doing?"
Sachi took out bandages and a small bottle of pills from the bag, setting on the table in the center of the room. "Mi woke me up, time to change the dressing. Wanna help?"
The last part was said in teasing, but Kakashi wasn't that easily swayed. "Is what I'm here for."
Sachi tensed, miffed at not getting her way. "Decided to go along with my plan, Kakashi? You were not that happy a few hours ago."
"Changed my mind. Take a seat."
She regarded him suspiciously. "Do you know first aid?"
"Hmm, maybe?"
Sachi, despite not being on board at all, did take a seat. Kakashi was smug with glee, because if one thing gave him pleasure, was to inconvenience Sachi as much as possible. "Careful, it— ow!"
Kakashi takes the snail and sticks it further down Sachi's cheek. Kasui's summons creeped him out, useful as they were. "Eep!" it said. Kasui used them to multitask his patients, his summons alerting him of changes in their status and, between their hive-mind like communication, alert him in case of emergency. Sage only knows how Kasui manages to keep the snails out all the time, his chakra control beyond good and nearing god-like levels. Maybe that's why he didn't kill him with the water dragon, lack of usable chakra.
That… didn't ease his worries.
Kakashi proceeds to take out the bandages gently, because he might have tried to kill her, he wasn't about to rub salt in her wounds. He lets the gauze fall, and his hands still at the sight.
He had been fooled by Sachi's demeanor, talking and joking and taking weight off the real problem that posed a broken skull. They had shaved part of her hair behind her ear, exposing the stitches and the bruising. Objectively, he had known that there must have been an injury, but he hadn't pictured it.
For that, Kakashi was taken aback. Not expecting an angry purple bruise that goes beyond her scalp and intact hair, the black stitches holding in place the inflamed skin the size of an apple. His mouth goes dry, realization hitting him. Hard.
He did this to her. He did this.
"Um, Kakashi? You do know what to do, right?"
He snaps out of it, reaching for the iodine swab Sachi gave him and coated the skin. Sachi hissed, but didn't move, Kasui's teachings keeping her in one place. Kakashi knew the first aid Rin had taught him, back when she was alive, and he finished without dragging the pain too much.
But there was more.
Kakashi noticed an old scar behind her ear, a star shaped one the size of his thumb that had lines spreading to the top of her head and down to the back of her neck. The skin was stretched, muted pink and gnarled. That injury hadn't been healed right, a rushed job that showed on the way it stood out against her pale skin, the edges sharp and angular; small, faint silvery lines resembling cobwebs around the big one.
He knew those kinds of scars. He had them himself.
"Done admiring the view?" Sachi says, her tone revealing nothing. Kakashi knew her better, and she was uncomfortable, on edge.
"Hardly a view to admire. Give me the bandages." she does, letting him wrap her head not too tight but enough to protect the wound. "There, all set."
"Thanks." she murmurs, taking the snail and putting it on them, like a twisted kind of hair ornament. "You should consider getting into nursing, Shizune would take you."
"Would Kasui agree to that?"
"Shizune is Head Nurse, she can do whatever she wants and Kasui can suck it up." she says, getting up and passing him to the kitchen with the bottle in hand. "In more ways that the one."
"Don't want to know."
"Oh, I should tell you how they got together. It's a really funny story, it involves Kasui losing his glasses and Shizune oh so servicial helping him out…"
"Don't. Want. To. Know."
Sachi fills a glass with water and Kakashi watches as she downs the entire pill bottle in one go. "Why…?"
"Antibiotics, vitamins and a special blend just for me." Sachi explains vaguely. "I've more, why, wanna try 'em?"
"No, thanks." he says, frowning. "Do you always take pills like an alcoholic does with cheap sake?"
"If I tell you yes will you report me to Kasui for drug addiction? Because," she throws the bottle at him "jokes on you, he gives 'em to me. And this one here," she points to the snail "will snitch if I don't take them."
Kakashi decided is wiser to let the topic go, not really in the mood to discuss Sachi's medication issues. Why did she need medication for, and why did she have more? Was she ill, did she have something? Contagious?
"O-kay. What are we supposed to do now?"
"Dinner? Kakashi, you can do whatever you want as long as you don't kill me in my sleep or something. Let Kasui get over his anger and then you can go back."
"So… I have to stay with you at all times?"
"It's too early to ask for bathroom sex, Kakashi."
"Not funny." he growls, trying to get that image out of his head.
"Your face was. Anyway, I didn't make that deal to have you as my sclave, darlin', unless is your kink, then…"
"Everything is about sex with you?"
"Anko's my teammate, what do you think?" she grins, taking a few pots and pans. "If you'd rather sleep in the woods it's your call. We don't need to be together-together, I've got things to do and you too, probably. Think about this… like a truce." she makes a flourish with the pan.
"It seems more like a favor to me."
"I don't. You see, Kakashi, it's in my best interest to keep you in the force, believe it or not."
"Why? You said I was… declining."
"Oh, you are, but you've done a good job so far."
"With what, killing people?" he asks, entering the kitchen.
"You do much more than killing people, Kakashi." she doesn't turn around, going to the fridge. "Fried rice with miso soup?"
"I think not."
She looks at him then, frowning. "I thought we were past poison—"
"You aren't cooking." he tells her, taking her place in front of the stove. "I have to take care of you, remember?"
She crosses her arms. "I'm not invalid."
"What part of 'brain injury' and 'no work' didn't you hear from your very scary teammate? His little spy will tell him if I let you cook, faint, and set your house on fire because I was playing the absent husband role."
"Mi would never." the snail chirped indignantly. "Okay, suit yourself, but if you are the one that sets my house on fire I'm taking yours."
"Your Barbican is bigger than my apartment."
"Don't care, vengeance is vengeance. Come on, let's see what you've got." she takes a seat, putting her head on her hand and letting those golden eyes of hers fixate on him. "I'm curious to know if the great Hound can use a pan like he uses the kunai."
.
It doesn't go that bad. Actually, it was quite nice.
Sachi let him cook, just interrupting him to point where she kept the spices or the groceries which, as Kakashi has come to discover, are all stored in seals.
"They don't go bad that way."
There were millions worth of seals in the fridge alone, and although Kakashi doesn't have financial problems —he takes far too many missions to go broke— he's amazed at the display of wealth. It's not as if Sachi has walls made of gold, but she was living in a house that Hashirama had grown — not built— in the Hokage Residence and, to top it off, surrounded by seals that would make Jiraiya weep.
"I thought you lived in the Inuzuka Compound." he breaks the subject during dinner.
Sachi doesn't take her eyes from her food, letting him have his privacy as they eat. "I was, before Tsume threw me out."
"Really?"
"Yep, after the war. Said it was time for me to stop smooching off the clan." she smiles fondly at the memory. "In reality she was mad that I had merged my bank account with the clan's, which doesn't make sense, because we could've bought the whole lower level… whatever. Minato-san had reinstated me as the Watchtower, so I needed to be close in case there was an emergency."
"He offered you Tobirama's home? Wow, he never did that to me, and I'm his student."
"He offered me the whole Hokage Residence, told me that we could share."
"Sounds like him. Refused?"
"Of course I refused." she snorts. "He wanted me to babysit Naruto-kun and entertain his wife while he got all of this," she flicks her chopsticks around the room "all by himself. I think I made the right choice, don't you?"
He swallows. "It's nice, the house, I mean."
"Wait until you see the basement."
"You have a basement?"
"Yep, I'll show you after we finish eating. And this is how I landed this house, surprised?"
"Well… it's for your job. Makes sense to keep you close, like the Hokage."
"Oh no, Kakashi, are you comparing me to the Hokage? Should I feel flattered?"
He scoffed. "You'd make a horrible Hokage."
"Is that so? Why, don't you trust me to look after the village?"
Kakashi pictures Sachi with the hat, her eyes shimmering beneath its shadow while one of those smiles that say 'I know everything' painted on her lips—
"I think you'd burn the village down before they finish sculpting your face in the Hokage Monument."
"Harsh." she says, nothing but amusement in her voice. "I don't think I'm suited for kagedom, so you'll be able to sleep at night knowing that I won't burn Leaf down."
"Why not?" he asks, interested. "You'd be the first Inuzuka to make Hokage."
She laughs. "Wouldn't that be a feat, hmm? I don't know, I don't see myself as Hokage. Too much responsibility, and I think that if word got out that I was considered a successor there would be a riot on the streets."
"Riot? Nah, more like a coup."
"Yeah, that too. What about you, ever thought about making it into the monument?"
"Me? Lazy Hatake? Not a chance. They can barely keep me in the hospital, let alone the office." she nods understandably "And killing a fellow comrade isn't good press."
"In Leaf it isn't, I think you'd fit right in with Water."
"In that case I know where to go when Kasui boots me out of ANBU."
"He won't do such thing, my plan is flawless."
"Famous last words."
"Oh hush, you sound like Anko. My plans are good."
Kakashi gave her a flat look that she missed, keeping her eyes lowered down. It reminded him of the war, in that strange truce they had between them when he was in-village. They ate together too, Sachi never trying to see his face. That aspect of their relationship hadn't changed, despite the war having ended for five years now.
This time felt more intimate. Sachi had been to his apartment countless times but Kakashi hadn't. He didn't feel like he was intruding, awkward yes, but not fully uncomfortable. He didn't like being trapped in places he wasn't familiar with, and that included his friends' apartments.
Sachi's house was… different. The presence was identical to hers, and Kakashi did know her, willingly or not, and by proxy he didn't recognized the place as hostile environment. He should be creeped out, unsettled by the building, but didn't find any complaint from his subsconscious. However, he didn't let himself to relax, not when Sachi was in front of him.
And yet, Sachi was weakened. She could try to hide it with sarcasm and dirty jokes, but she was hurting.
"What… do you do?"
"Hmm?" she hums, taking another bite from the rice. "Do what?"
"Your job. Sensei has a heart of gold, but he wouldn't have offered you this house if you weren't important. So, what do you do?"
"You… don't know?"
"Should I?"
She frowns, deep in thought. "What do you think I do? I'm the Watchtower, what do you think that means?"
"If you don't want to answer you can say so, not turn my questions over."
"No, I mean, I'll tell you, but I'm curious as to what do you think I do."
She sounds honest, and so Kakashi says. "I'd figured the Watchtower is basically surveillance. That's what the Barbican is for, you've taken blood samples from everyone to include them in your map. If someone that isn't part of your seal tries to get inside the village, you know. Am I right?"
"Pretty much, yes. My main job is to avoid strangers going inside the village, spies and the like. I've to report at what time everyone of you leave the village and come back, and check with the estimated time of the duration of your missions. Localize soldiers, deploy them, track their workload…."
"You do all that?"
"Comes with knowing where you are at all times. I'm the one that sends recovery teams when you take too long to come back, and the Yamanaka hounds when you miss your psychiatrist appointments."
"You!" he accuses "That was you! I never knew how they were able to track me down, you sent them to me."
Sachi looks perfectly innocent taking a small bite. "If you complain about them pestering you, imagine what I have to deal with. Shinobi have an allergy to shrinks, and they threatened to pull you off if I didn't disclose your position."
"I had to avoid them for weeks."
"I know, made my day seeing you five run around." she finishes her meal, setting her plates apart. "Didn't catch you though, you run fast when motivated."
Kakashi squints at her, useless when she's not looking at him. He wants her see him, to make sure her eyes are focused on him to show her how not amused he is by her shenanigans. The Yamanaka had gotten very insistent a year or so after the war, screening for PTSD and traumatized soldiers. He had to rotate between his hiding spots, those damned shrinks waiting for him.
"So that's what you do? Keep tabs on our appointments?"
"That too. I'm the one that gives vacations and decides when you can go back to doing missions again."
"Oh Sage… you're Admin's boss, aren't you?"
Sachi gets up, not answering him and carrying her dishes to the sink. "I do a few other things, when I've got the time."
"Do you even have time left, after all that?"
There were thousands of people, thousands of working shinobi that she had to note the time of expected mission leave, their return, their location at all times… Kakashi didn't envy Sachi's job at all.
"You sound surprised. What did you think I was doing all day? Sit at my desk and look pretty?"
"Not the pretty part."
"I'm beginning to doubt your flirting skills." Sachi tells him. "Give me your dishes."
"Not going to happen."
"I can wash a few plates, Kakashi. It's the rule of the house, the one who cooks doesn't wash dishes. Now, give 'em to me."
"Kasui is going to demote me, Sachi. You don't want that, do you?"
"I'm the owner of this place, I make the rules in here."
"Extenuating circumstances, Sachi." he says, pushing her away from the sink. "What did you say in court, overruled?"
"Kakashi, I'm fine—"
"Try tomorrow. Where's the soap?"
"I'm not telling you."
"This scroll here says soap. Shoo, you're on my way."
"Did you just…?"
Kakashi gives her his back, Sachi huffing a protest that sounds like a threat before she leaves him in the kitchen. It takes no time to finish, and he finds himself with nothing to do. Sachi is somewhere and Kakashi doesn't know if he should just go out into the guest room and call it a day or frustrate her a little bit more.
Kakashi goes with the latter, not looking forward to the nightmares waiting for him. Good or bad, Sachi was now the only distraction he had, and if he had been conned to keep her company until her crazy teammate desisted his prosecution, then he was going to have some fun.
She isn't in the study, and the bedroom is warded off with seals that look pretty damn dangerous. The bathroom is empty too, and Kakashi has to bite his cheek at the size. Damn, Sachi sure knew how to live. It had a separate room for the bathtub, wooden and square, with marble tiles, a vanity sink with enough space to eat on comfortably.
On the opposite side of the hall there are two doors. One is made of glass, opening to the bridge that connects Sachi's house to that of his sensei. The other one is solid wood, and after testing it with a kunai for traps, he opens it.
Stone stairs meet him, only a light at the bottom. Kakashi's gut tells him it's a trap and that Sachi is going to ambush him and take revenge for breaking her skull earlier that week.
"Do you want to see my dungeon or not?" he hears her call out to him, her face popping out from the corner. "Kakashi, for fuck's sake, you've been sent to worse missions than this. I deactivated the traps, come on."
He takes the stairs slowly, before Sachi advises him to put chakra on the walls to see better. When they light up with seals, Kakashi is equal parts impressed and horrified, because if there was a person that could destroy a historical building for not investing in lamps, it was Sachi.
The basement is… a basement, and yet it isn't.
"You have a dōjō… in your basement."
"And a lab too."
"And a lab too."
The basement has a wooden floor, polished and smooth with a mirror occupying an entire wall. There were little slats for propping dummies up, and he could see mats on one side of the basement, near a shelf with a rather extensive collection of weapons.
"Please tell me they're yours."
"Nope, they came with the house."
Kakashi felt the envy take the form of a knife and lodge itself in his heart. Sachi had her hands on her hips, looking around as if she didn't live there. "You're a lucky bitch, you know that?"
"Hey, if you become Hokage it can be yours. Think about it." she beckons him with a finger, sliding a door into… a lab. "I bet you're regretting not having killing me, you could've taken my house."
"Don't push your luck."
The lab is sterile and clean, a scent of alcohol and bleach diluted in the air. There are a few metal tables bolted to the floor, smooth stone instead of wood, and glass cases containing books and all sorts of vials, tubes and whatever scientists use for their experiments.
"Sensei and Anko use it more than I do, but the seals around here are sturdy enough to test my own new seals. Kasui used his tsunami jutsu in here and didn't manage to splash the books, it's sturdy as they come."
"Why would he do a tsunami jutsu?"
"Spring cleaning."
Kakashi stares at her, she blinks at him. "You don't deserve to live in this house."
She breaks out into a laugh, and maybe it was the echo of the room, but it vibrated through him like a purr. He felt his own lips stretch, but bit them to avoid a smile.
"Sensei says the same thing, that I'm disgraceful to Tobirama-sama's existence and that I'm the reason his ghost is cursing Leaf. Go figure."
"I always believed Orochimaru-sama to be a wise man."
"Make sure to tell that to his face, maybe he won't put you in the morgue that way."
Sachi leaves the lab as Kakashi asks "Do you have a morgue?"
"Did you know that my house is connected to the ANBU tunnels?"
"Sachi, answer me, do you have a morgue in here? Why?"
" —visit me someday, after whatever this is ends."
"Sachi."
She ignores him, going up the stairs and laughing all the way. Kakashi is flustered, not sure if she was joking or not; the fact that Sachi having a morgue in her basement didn't surprise him at all, and that made him fret. He was not going to sleep above a damned metal cupboard for bodies.
"Why are you showing me this?"
"You're going to get bored, and I don't want to deal with a Hatake constantly on edge, it gives me headaches. Use the dōjō if you want, the weapons cellar is unlocked, knock yourself out for a change."
"You're really going to let me use your dōjō?"
"Yep. What can you do? Steal the Niidaime's relics? Break the mirrors? Burn the lab? My family does that on a daily basis, your backfists won't do shit down there, it was made for destruction, darlin'."
Kakashi doesn't know how to feel about that. Sachi was… open, to him. It made him instantly suspicious, because Sachi had always another intention in mind. That's why he didn't trust anything that she said, because he had honed a sixth sense for bullshit, but it didn't work on her.
He could list a dozen people that would kill to get the chance to get into the Niidaime's previous home, much less have access to his weapons, lab, and scrolls. Sachi was offering them to him like they didn't matter, and if they did, she was dismissing them like they were garbage. Was she just flippant like that or was she teasing him?
"Take a picture, it lasts longer." she says, rolling her eyes before climbing the stairs. "I'll show you the secret rooms tomorrow—."
Kakashi goes after Sachi, bypassing her quickly and blocking her way "Sachi, do you have a cemetery down here?"
"Do I hear fear in your voice, darlin'? Afraid of ghosts?"
"Don't joke about that."
Sachi stops and looks at him, her eyes widening at his serious tone. "Oh gods, are you…? Do you believe in ghosts?"
"I won't let you pass until you tell me. Is there a morgue?"
"What are you going to do if I say yes?"
He glares. "I'm not going to stay here."
Sachi gives him a smile that previous experience labels as 'I've found a weakness, you're dead'. "Is that so?" Sachi slips by, Kakashi stopping her by grabbing her by the arm. She stops, looks at the grip, and quirks an eyebrow. "Unless you want to see me naked, Kakashi, I'm advising you to step out right now.
They are in the bathroom, Kakashi realizing that right that moment, and that second of hesitation is enough time for Sachi to yank her arm from his grip and throw something at him.
It's her shirt.
Needless to say, Kakashi is more frightened to see Sachi naked than the dead rising in the night.
.
"You… y-you…" that's how they start. "... you did this…"
Rin's corpse has a hole in her chest, the broken ribs framing it like a sick, grotesque painting. Obito's body is worse, half of it rotting and falling into the darkness with wet, pausated splotches.
"Ka-ka… shi." they called him, their voices high pitched and gutural at the same time.
Their young features — they died before they made it to fifteen— are shadowed by the paleness of death, their glazed over eyes are utterly evil, and Kakashi doesn't recognize them.
He did that to them.
It was his fault.
"... shi… Ka… k-kashi…"
He deserved it. He deserved their hatred, their torture… he killed them.
He doesn't fight them as they get closer, their bodies advancing awkwardly. Rin's lack of spine makes her upper body bend over backwards, letting him see the back of her head through her chest; Obito's limping, dragging his crushed body with only one working leg, holding himself with his good arm.
They reach for him, their hands muddied, dried blood on them, and he lets them. Let them take him, he has waited too long.
He wakes up in a pool of his own sweat, heaving for breath as his panicked mind reminds him where he is. He's in Sachi's house, he's in her guest room, he's safe.
"Obito…" he whispers. "Rin…" their names are strangled, his throat closed up. "Bath, bath—"
Getting up in a rush, he crosses the corridor and goes into the bathroom, momentarily confused about the layout until he remembers the way. He strips, not caring where his clothes land, and stepping into the shower instead of the bathtub.
One thing about Sachi's house, previously Tobirama's, is that it doesn't have hot water. Kakashi lets it cool him down, before his teeth are so clenched that his jaw hurts. His chest pain worsens, and he has a headache forming fast.
That's the price of being left behind, of surviving when others didn't. Killer-friend-Kakashi, they used to call him, and he can't think of a better name for himself.
Kakashi makes it back to the guest room with a towel around his body, having forgotten a change of clothes in his haste to wash away the remnants of the nightmare. He's too restless to go back to sleep, and not after that kind of dream, and so he goes to the kitchen to busy himself.
The light is already on. Sachi is leaning against the counter, a cup of tea on the kitchen aisle. He stares at her, and she looks grim. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I… was messing with you. There's no morgue, okay?"
"Doesn't matter. Did I wake you up?"
"Kakashi, listen… I don't want to make you uncomfortable, really, I didn't know that you…"
He turns around, feeling anger bubbling inside of him. "Doesn't matter."
"Kakashi…"
"Don't." he warns "I… I don't want to hear it. This is my problem, leave it alone."
Sachi doesn't say anything, let him simmer. "I can help you with your nightmares."
"With tea? I don't believe in placebo."
"No." she says, her face neutral. "That night, after Rin died."
"After I killed her."
"After Rin died, jumping in front of your jutsu to avoid destroying the village." she says, icy cold. Kakashi's chakra flares, his hand going to his pouch. "I helped you then, remember? I can do it again, if you want."
"I don't need your help, Sachi. Why don't you get it? I don't want your, or anyone's, help! I'm fine! I deserve this!"
"Because Rin and Obito would have wanted you to slowly waste yourself away instead of living for both of them." Kakashi snaps, throwing a kunai at her. She catches is with her hand, putting it on the counter easily. "Self-loathing will not help you, Kakashi. You may think that you deserve the pain, but it's not true."
"Shut up!"
Sachi's pose is broken by a flinch, touching her head. "Obito and Rin are dead, they will not come back. Ghosts are memories, Kakashi, is that how you want to remember them?"
He's on her in less than a blink, his hand wrapped around her neck but not tightening it. Sachi doesn't move or dodge, letting him touch her while she stares into her eyes with unyielded drive. "It will keep hurting, and it's going to kill you. You either live and move on or you let them haunt you." Kakashi is lost in her golden irises, and feels his will falter. "You think you deserve the pain because you want to punish someone, and that's you. You've grown so accustomed to torturing yourself that you don't know anything else. You don't go forward because—" he grips her tighter, she doesn't stop. "... b-ecause y… ou are… afraid."
He releases her as if burned, getting away from her hastily. She rubs her tender skin, her chakra leaking all over the kitchen with an angry hiss. "Guess what, Kakashi. You aren't the only one that lost people in fucked up ways, your way of mourning them is killing you. What will they think, looking down at you while you waste your life away when they are dead and don't have that luxury? You're spitting on their corpses!" she yells at him, harsh and hoarse. "Obito and Rin were much more than their last moments, but you're stuck in a fucking loop. Break it!"
"Shut. Up!"
"Fuck you, Kakashi." she growls, baring her teeth. "Kill me if you wanna, finish the job, but don't tell me to shut up when I'm speaking the truth. You want to suffer? Good! Take a mission right now and throw yourself in front of a kunai, go down a glorious death and put and end to your life because you're too weak to turn yourself around. But then—" she gasps for breath. "then don't fuckin' dare to show your face to those that love you. Become a ghost for them too, don't let them help you, see how that ends!"
"You don't don't anything about me! Stop faking you care!"
"Ah, and you know me? Says the man that hasn't stopped using why and what and how ever since stepping in here. You're full of shit, Kakashi."
They glare at each other, Kakashi a fool for believing that, just because Sachi got out from a life threatening injury — that he had caused— it would be anything different between them.
"Very nice to blame me, Sachi, when you have a family to go back to."
She's stricken mute before her face contorts in ire. "What the fuck do you know about my family? Did you have any idea what happened to them, or you just assume that my life has always been this easy, with a nice house and friends and a contusion?"
He doesn't back down. "I watched them die, Sachi."
"And I watched them die too! Do you want to speak about ghosts? Fine, let's speak about ghosts." she leaves the counter, taking large strides towards him until they're face to face. "I had a family before coming to Leaf, a clan, bigger than all the clans of this village put together. I had a mother, a big brother, and an amazing cousin and grandfather that loved me to damn bits. My friends w-were Michiko, Harumi and Rie, and I loved them more than my own life, they were beautiful, smart, and mine—"
Kakashi sees Sachi's eyes, blazing and smoldering, full with unshed tears. "Do you know what happened to them, all of them? They were hunted by a fucking monster, slaughtered and laid on our home while it burned to the ground. Do you know what I did, Kakashi? Watchtower as I am now?"
A single tears slides down her cheek, over her red fang. "I fucking ran, like a coward. Left them behind and be killed because I was weak. And then I was brought here like a refugee, left alone, and the gods know that I was lucky enough to be taken in by the Inuzuka. Think what you fucking want about me, Kakashi, but don't dare to say that you know something about me."
She gets away from him, the warmth of her anger clashing with his cold aloofness. "We can't forget what happened to them, but we can choose how to remember them."
Kakashi is alone in the kitchen, Sachi leaves, a whirlwind of stray chakra fizzing in her wake. He feels more exhausted than going through a nightmare, and there's bitterness in his mouth.
He sighs, taking a seat at the stool. The tea is cold by the time he sips it.
"Fucking dammit!"