When Olivia woke up the next morning, it was almost nine o'clock. Safe to say, she was surprised, because she honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd woken after six, even on a day off. But she felt refreshed, and her body felt rejuvenated, so she must have needed it. After what happened yesterday, this long and deep sleep had been a blessing.
Automatically, she reached for her cell phone. No calls or texts.
Both as a reaction to the refreshing sleep and a defense mechanism to her silent phone, Olivia made a plan: stay as busy as possible for these next two days so that she won't even have time to think.
After using the restroom, Olivia changed into her running clothes and headed out. The spring morning was crisp and clear, perfect for a run. She took her favorite jogging path through Central Park, pushing herself to beat her own record, though her legs ached and her lungs burned. Finally, she stopped and bought a well-deserved bottle of water from a friendly vendor. On the way back to her apartment, she bought a Danish pastry for breakfast from her local bakery.
After she'd eaten and showered, Olivia checked her phone again (she'd left it at her apartment since she wasn't on call). No calls or texts. So, she again looked for something to do. Thankfully, her apartment provided an answer. With her job and her hours, Olivia wasn't home much. And when she was, she kept the place neat in a basic way, but there were a lot of chores that she needed to catch up on.
Perfect – another task to do.
Unfortunately, when one works at a thorough and brisk pace, no task takes very long to do. So, scrubbing and cleaning every inch of her apartment didn't take as long as Olivia hoped it would. And still no sound came from her cell phone.
So, Olivia desperately looked around for something new to do…
Elliot opted to climb the stairs to Olivia's floor rather than take the elevator, to try to calm his nerves. Even though he was sure of what he was about to do, and Olivia had made her feelings pretty clear last night, this was still all-new territory. Once he was outside her door, he said a little prayer before knocking on the door.
The sight that greeted him was the last thing that he'd been expecting.
Olivia stood before him wearing cut-off denim shorts, a white tank-top, sneakers, and a red bandana tied around her head. Never before had Elliot seen so much of her olive skin, or Olivia in so natural and casual a state before. Damn…His breath taken away, any last shreds of doubt about the path he'd chosen to walk disappeared. "Liv…" he breathed, like a prayer.
"El…" Olivia breathed in return. Safe to say, she was surprised to see him. And the sight of him didn't help to calm her now pounding heart. He was casually dressed, which she rarely got to see, in jeans, a gray t-shirt, leather jacket and boots. Damn…
Needing to keep himself calm and focused, Elliot looked over her shoulder and his expression went from sweetly enraptured to comically perplexed. What the hell…? "Uhhh, Liv…what exactly are you up to?"
This helped Olivia calm down, remembering the situation she'd gotten herself into. Her cheeks flushing even more in embarrassment (they had flushed already under Elliot's open stare), she stepped aside so that he could come in and see the mess she'd created.
Her furniture was all covered in plastic sheets, her walls were bare, tarps lay on the floor, and paint cans and the necessary tools were resting on the covered sofa.
"Yeah, um…" she said, shutting the door behind him. "In trying to keep myself busy this weekend, I thought…"
"Uh-huh," said Elliot. "This is what happens when you never take time off and when you get it, you don't know what to do with it."
Olivia let out a hollow laugh. "Yeah, pretty much."
Elliot gave a little nod and then shed his jacket (Olivia had to look away). After hanging it up, he turned to Oliva. "Well, let's get started, then."
Olivia's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously? Isn't there anything else you'd rather be doing on your weekend off?"
Elliot looked her in the eye and said, "Nope." His voice and body language were the picture of casual nonchalance; his eyes held all the seriousness of a groom saying his vows.
And Olivia, who knew him so well, saw that and could only say softly, "Okay."
With that, the partners set to work.
It took an hour for the two of them to apply the first coat of paint to the living room walls. While they painted, they stuck to small talk and light banter, the same kind they fell into when on the job together in between talking to witnesses or suspects. The unspoken emotions and issues that had yet to be discussed was an obvious elephant in the room, but it was an easily ignorable elephant while they worked.
When they were finished, they put the paint-rollers down and assessed the job. "Looks pretty good," Elliot said with satisfaction.
"Yeah," said Olivia, putting her hands on her hips. "The color looks even better on the walls than on the sample card."
"Mm-hm," Elliot hummed, agreeing. The color Olivia had chosen was a pale, clear sky-blue, the color of a clear winter sky. "For a completely impulsive decision, you were smart about it."
"Oh, thanks," Olivia laughed.
Smiling, Elliot looked at his watch. "Well, if the memory of painting my kids' rooms is right, we have a few hours before we can apply the second coat."
"Second coat, right…" said Olivia, rubbing the back of her neck. He'd said 'we' so he planned on helping her with that, too. But what would they do for the next several hours? They couldn't exactly hang out in her apartment, with the drying paint and everything covered in plastic, not unless they went into the bedroom and Olivia Benson, you stop that train of thought RIGHT NOW.
"So…" she said, sounding too bright, so she cleared her throat before continuing. "If you want to go back to your place for a while –"
"Let's go out."
"W-what?" Olivia spluttered.
"In the meantime, let's go out. We can take a walk or…catch a movie, grab a bite to eat."
Again, Elliot spoke with complete laidback casualness, while his eyes conveyed a much more serious emotion. In a completely different situation, if they were completely different people, Olivia would presume that this was a man asking a woman on a date. But surely…Finally, Olivia couldn't take it anymore.
"Elliot…if this...if this is your attempt to change my mind about transferring –"
"Liv, it's not like that," Elliot interrupted, holding up a hand but his tone was gentle. "Believe it or not…I heard you last night. This case did prove that staying partners isn't the best thing for either of us."
Olivia felt as though she could be knocked over with those words. He wasn't going to fight her? To try to change her mind? But she was in for more surprises.
"But," Elliot continued, taking a step closer to her, "I do want you to consider this option: that I'll be the one to ask for a transfer." Again, he held up his hand when she opened her mouth to protest. "Just hear me out, okay? I know you, Liv, and what this job means to you. It's more than just a job to you, it's…a vocation. I've thought about this, and honestly, I would be fine working in another department, like Homicide or Organized Crime or wherever, but you? You'd be a great cop anywhere…but would it be enough?"
Olivia couldn't respond at first. Her mind went back several years, to a mandatory psych evaluation the whole department had been part of. The psychiatrist had asked her what she would be if she couldn't be a sex crimes detectives. She hadn't been able to give an answer; it had upset her to the point of almost crying. Did that still ring true now? Yes, the voice in her heart said immediately, and she had to blink back tears again.
"Liv…" Of course he noticed, his hand reaching out towards her, but she stepped back.
"I'm fine," she said. "And…I'll think about it, El."
Elliot nodded. "Thanks, Liv."
"So…" Olivia pulled the bandana off her head, wringing it in her hands as she asked the question she had to ask. "Why are you here then?"
She heard him take a deep breath as she watched her hands play with the bandana. She heard him step up to her, and she saw him cover her hands, stilling their nervous movements. Unconsciously, she held her breath.
"I'm here because I want to be," said Elliot, his voice gravelly yet soft, the way it got when he was speaking from the heart. "I'm here because…I need you in my life, Liv. And if it can't be as partners, then…I want to find a new way. With you."
Olivia breathed again, and the bandana in her hands fell to the ground. "Really?" Her voice was small and vulnerable, and her fingers flexed against his palms, mirroring her question.
Elliot answered by taking her hands tightly - his palms were rough, but gentle, and very warm – and saying, "Really." He emphasized this by resting his forehead against hers.
All this time, Olivia's eyes had remained on their hands. She didn't need to look into his eyes to see he was being completely open and honest. She knew his voice and his body language. Besides, she felt if she looked into his eyes now, she would lose herself completely. And while she wanted to do that so much, Olivia still had questions. She noticed now that his wedding ring was gone from his left hand. Had he spoken to Kathy since yesterday, when he'd still been wearing it? Could this be a sign of just how serious he was? Or was she getting her hopes too high when she'd never let him even raise their head before?
But she believed him, so she squeezed his hands and said, "Alright."
She didn't see it, but she knew that he was smiling. "So…" he said, his thumbs rubbing across her knuckles. "Will you go out with me, Liv?"
Olivia had to smile, a breathless laugh coming out. "Yes. Just give me a few minutes to change."
She took a step back from him, but Elliot kept her hands in his. A playful twinkle in his eyes, he said, "But you look perfect now."
Fighting the grin on her face – and getting a twinkle of her own – she said, "Elliot, it's the start of spring out there, I'll freeze."
Elliot shrugged. "I'll keep you warm." His voice was the definition of innocent – his eyes were the definition of naughty.
Olivia finally let herself fully laugh as she playfully shoved his hands away from hers. "Five minutes, Elliot."
"If it takes longer, I'm coming in," Elliot called after her as she walked to her bedroom.
Olivia didn't respond, but her hips swayed a bit more than her usual stride allowed. When she shut the door behind her, Olivia covered her mouth to stop the giggles that were bubbling in her chest. But she soon pulled herself together and changed her clothes.
Meanwhile, Elliot allowed a very silly grin to spread across his face as she stood alone in the newly-painted living room. For years, the two of them had an easy banter between each other that occasionally bordered on flirting, but neither had ever really let themselves indulge in it. There had been too many boundaries between them that made even the thought of it impossible.
But now those barriers were breaking down, and a world of new possibilities were opening up to the two of them.
The next few hours would be what both Elliot and Olivia would remember as the perfect first date that neither of them had as teenagers.
First, they walked. It took less than a minute for their hands to join and their fingers to link together. Walking this way felt as natural as the way they had walked together as partners: in sync and with confidence. It was still there now, though it was different.
When they came to a movie theater, they bought two tickets for the next show that was set to screen: "Take the Lead." They bought a big tub of popcorn and a bag of gummi bears to share between them. Since the movie took place in New York, they had fun naming every location they recognized from years walking the beat. And though the movie was aimed for a younger audience, and the dancing while impressive wasn't something they knew much about, both enjoyed the movie more than they thought they would. The fact that they were together played a big part in that.
After the movie, both craved something more substantial to eat (both had skipped lunch that day). So, they stopped at a delicatessen and order two sandwiches to go. They took their time eating them and walking in the fine spring air. And once their sandwiches were small enough to handle with one hand without making a mess, their free hands naturally joined together again.
Hand-holding was as far as their touching went on those hours out, though. Neither were prone to PDA by nature, both because of their jobs and their personalities, and neither were going to push this new development between them. But there were plenty of looks and smiles exchanged between them that conveyed much more than their old friendship. Elliot's eyes twinkled more and Olivia's cheeks flushed more than they ever had.
When they came back to her apartment to finish the painting job, Olivia went to her bedroom to change back into her cut-off shorts and tank-top (Elliot joked about saying a prayer of gratitude and Olivia punched him in the arm while blushing scarlet). Then the two of them got serious enough to apply the second coat of paint to the walls. Again, they worked well and quickly together.
By the time they were finished, the sun was going down. As Elliot helped Olivia pack up the supplies, the exhaustion caught up with him. After all, he'd only slept a few fitful hours last night, and the days before and after that had been anything but uneventful.
After his second large yawn that he tried to hide, Olivia put her foot down. "Elliot, go home and rest. Seriously, I can handle clearing this all up."
Elliot wanted to argue – the last thing he wanted to do was leave her – but he couldn't deny how tired he was. He also didn't want to push their new dynamic, and he was sure she wasn't prepared for him to spend the night. They still had a lot to talk about, and that was the plan for tomorrow. And a plan was already forming in his mind…
"Fine, I surrender," he said, walking to the closet to grab his leather jacket. He turned to her when he'd put it on. "Can we spend tomorrow together, Liv?"
"Yeah," Olivia answered quickly. "Come by anytime tomorrow. I'll be here."
"Good," said Elliot. They walked to her door, and she opened it for him.
"Thank you for today, El," said Olivia, bravely reaching for his hand. "You really didn't have to –"
"I wanted to, Liv," Elliot said, squeezing her hand. "I'll come by around nine tomorrow."
"Okay." At a loss for anything else to say or do besides the heart-breaking obvious, Olivia sighed and said, "Goodnight, then."
Elliot smiled softly at her. Then, he cupped her cheek with his free hand, and leaned in to kiss her other cheek. He deliberately kissed her close to the corner of her mouth, and then mouthed the three words that she had given him in the same way last night. Then he turned and walked out.
Olivia shut the door with a burning spot on her cheek and a heart at once full and light. Leaning against the door, she looked around her freshly painted living room. Would she ever tell him that she had chosen this light sky blue color because it reminded him of his eyes?
Nah, she thought. Just like I'll never tell him what gave me the idea to bear my soul to him last night.
A/N: I chose the movie "Take The Lead" for three reasons: It would have been in theaters at the time the episode "Fault" took place. I believe that to be dance partners takes the same kind of trust as it does to be the kind of partners that they are: complete trust, getting better through experience, and having each other's backs. Finally, there is a certain scene in the movie that I believe would speak to them. If you'd like to see it it's on YouTube. Look up "Take The Lead - The Teacher's Speech."
