Their First Night Together
Kyoko woke the day after the incident in the elevator with a dull headache. It took her a moment to remember why exactly she might have a headache, but as soon as that memory was unlocked, the rest came flooding back. The elevator. The hospital. The president's office.
Corn.
That brought a stab of pain to her heart and she closed her eyes, shaking her head at the confusion that filled her. Tsuruga-san was Corn. Kuon. Hizuri Kuon.
Her boyfriend.
Just the thought of that word made her face erupt into flames and she pressed her hands to her hot cheeks, a wave of embarrassment and…something else coursing through her. Despite the embarrassment, she couldn't help her little smile. He was in love with her. He'd said it more than once. He was in love with her and he wanted to be with her, and she didn't have to try and hide her feelings from him…although the thought of just showing him how much she cared for him was equally scary.
She remembered how she'd been with Sho…how she'd given herself over to her love for him completely. And how devoted herself to cooking for him and cleaning up after him…to buying magazines that featured him and all of his albums and even posters of him, all while he slept with his manager. What if it happened again? What if she turned into that girl again…that girl that lived for someone else. Who never did a single thing for herself?
She was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of voices…loud voices. Or…not quite loud. Just, a lot of them. Her alarm had woken her an hour and a half before she needed to leave, so it was only 6 in the morning, which was a little early for a breakfast rush. She climbed out of her futon and put it away, folding her blankets and placing her pillow on top, then searching through her closet to find an outfit.
She typically laid her clothes out the night before, but by the time they'd finished their conversation with their boss and Tsuruga-san had taken her to pick up her prescription before driving her home, she'd been practically dead on her feet. He'd offered so stop and get her dinner, but all she'd wanted to do was sleep, so in an uncharacteristic role reversal, he had walked her into the restaurant through the back door, gestured for her to sit at the family's table, and then had spoken quietly with the Taisho before bringing her a plate of food.
"Eat," he'd ordered with a somewhat mischievous smile.
Kyoko had opened her mouth to argue, but had quickly given up when he'd reminded her that she had to take the pain pills with food. "Besides," he'd gone on to say, "an actress has to eat and take care of her body."
He'd given a little chuckle when she'd started eating with a roll of her eyes, but the laughter had quickly died when the Taisho had entered the room, giving her a critical once over before turning his attention to the man sitting beside her. Tsuruga-san had excused himself, and Kyoko had watched him join the Taisho, both of them stepping into the other room to talk quietly enough that she couldn't hear them. Usually, she would have been curious. But at the moment, all she'd wanted was sleep. So she'd eaten her food, swallowed the pills, and Tsuruga-san had reappeared to wish her a good night before leaving.
Once she was dressed, Kyoko was just grabbing her things to head downstairs to wait for Yashiro-san, who Tsuruga-san had told her would be picking her up this morning, as they could now go back to carpooling since the air was cleared between thm, when her phone buzzed in her purse. It was Yashiro-san.
"Good morning, Yashiro-san!"
"Kyoko-chan, where are you?"
"I'm in my room," she told him slowly, confused. "Is everything alright?"
"Everything is fine…" he hesitated, and she thought she heard Tsuruga-san in the background. She'd be seeing Tsuruga-san in a few minutes. The thought made her cheeks flush again, and she almost missed his next words. "But it seems the press found out where you live."
The blood drained from her cheeks and her jaw dropped. They knew where she lived. They knew where she lived and that she was Tsuruga-san's...girlfriend? She'd never been anyone's girlfriend before and she'd been one for less than twelve hours and now the whole country knew about it and they knew where she lived. Kyoko closed her eyes, putting a hand over her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Oh." It was the only thing she could think to say, her mind racing. Would she have to move? Of course...of course she'd have to move. Because the press knew who she was and she was Tsuruga Ren's girlfriend and it would be such a burden on Okami-san and the Taisho.
"Kyoko-chan?"
"Yes?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.
"I want you to pack an overnight back with everything you need for the next day or so and stay where you are. I'm going to come inside and walk you to the car, okay?" He sounded so calm...he was Tsuruga Ren's manager. So...so he was used to this kind of thing. Right? "Kyoko-chan?"
"Yes...okay. Yes. I can...I'll pack a bag."
"Good. We'll be there in about fifteen minutes. And Kyoko-chan?"
"Yes?"
"It's going to be okay."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, nodding even though he couldn't see her. Of course it was. She should have known that she wouldn't be able to live at the Darumaya forever. She just...hadn't thought that day would come so soon. Her rent at the Darumaya was cheap thanks to the extra shifts she worked there, and she was up to her ears in debt. She only had three roles, including her work as Bo which, she realized, she still needed to tell Tsuruga-san about...and she still needed to tell him about her Momiji audition. It would only be worse if he learned about those things from someone else.
But she really didn't want to tell him. Didn't want to risk driving him away before she'd even gotten the chance to really be with him.
Kyoko did as Yashiro had asked, packing an overnight bag with a couple of outfits and placing Tsuruga-san's necklace in the little pouch that had, up until the day before, held Corn. She wished that she could run downstairs and grab something for breakfast, but judging by the voices coming from the restaurant, she doubted that would be a good idea.
The Okami-san appeared in her doorway after a few moments. "Kyoko-chan? Did your manager call you?"
"Yes, he told me that the press had discovered where I was staying...I'm so sorry. I never meant to trouble you."
The older woman reached out and touched her hands as she knelt across from Kyoko. "It's no trouble, Kyoko-chan. He called us as soon as he found out, and your agency is arranging for security to come and help us keep the reporters at a distance. He also said that you would need to find a new, more secure place to live now."
Kyoko nodded, biting her lip and staring down at her clenched hands and the Okami-san's which sat on top of them.
"My husband and I hope that you'll visit."
"I will...I promise."
The woman reached up, touching her cheek. "It's been such a joy to have you staying with us."
In a moment that felt like a flashback, Kyoko leaned her head forward, resting it on her landlady's shoulder, and the woman who had become something closer than a mother than a landlady rested her hand on Kyoko's head, just like she'd wished her real mother had. "Thank you for everything you've done for me. I don't know what I would have done without you."
The woman sniffed softly, patting the back of her head, and then smiled when Kyoko sat back up. "Look at us being silly, as though we'll never see each other again. You must come to visit as often as you can. And you should bring that young man of yours."
Kyoko's cheeks went pink and she fought the urge to bury her face in her hands. "You know about that?"
"Kyoko-chan, all of Japan knows about that. He obviously cares for you very much. And he seems like a good man. My husband was a little upset when we saw the news last night. I think he was unhappy that Tsuruga-san didn't speak up when he came to visit before."
"Oh...but..we weren't...I mean...we were just coworkers."
The woman gave her a knowing smile but didn't argue. "Regardless, he spoke to my husband last night, and I believe he approves."
So that's what Tsuruga-san had been talking about with the Taisho. Kyoko hadn't even thought to ask at the time, but she was surprised nonetheless. He'd known how important the couple she rented a room from were to her. He'd known how much she loved them. And he'd known that the Taisho was protective of her. She'd never had a father before, and now, it was almost as though she had two.
The thought brought her up short as she remembered who exactly the man she was dating was, and who his father was.
And just as quickly, she shook it off. She still wasn't ready to process that, and so to the very back of her mind it went.
Yashiro-san appeared at the top of the stairs and Kyoko stood along with the Okami-san. His smile was as kind and genuine as ever as he offered to take her overnight back, shouldering it before she could even try to pick it up. She grabbed her purse, gave the Okami-san a quick hug, and followed him out into the hallway.
"Good morning, Kyoko-chan. How are you feeling?"
"Nervous," she admitted in a whisper.
He put a hand on her shoulder. "I understand. But you don't have to worry. I'm going to walk you out to the car, and then we're going straight to LME. You don't have to be at the set for Box R until 9, so you have a little time to speak with the president. All of the reporters are outside now, so just smile and say 'no comment' if anyone asks you a question. Don't worry. I'm right here with you."
She did her best not to worry. And when they reached the side door, he stepped forward a little ahead of her, and the temperature seemed to drop, a chill overtaking the immediate area. The reporters who lined the sidewalk all went still, eyes wide as they watched Yashiro-san usher her forward, his arm around her protective. A few took pictures, and Kyoko fought to keep her pleasant smile in place. Yashiro-san opened the back door for her, and she slipped into the car only seconds before he closed it once more, and the camera flashes resumed.
"I think that's the main reason the president asked Yashiro-san to be my manager when I was first getting famous."
She jumped a little, turning to face Tsuruga-san with wide eyes. She'd known that he was in the car, of course, and that she'd be seeing him. Still, knowing it and seeing him there in front of her after everything that had happened between them were two different things, she supposed. Despite the tiny stab of pain that pricked her every time she thought of his true identity, and despite the confusion she still felt over all of it, she still felt a thrill of happiness when he smiled at her.
"Good morning, Tsuruga-san." She bowed her head a little in greeting, and he returned the gesture with a little amused smile.
"Good morning."
Yashiro-san climbed into the front seat, closing the door quickly behind him and heading for LME.
"The President is working on finding you an apartment with better security. I'm sorry...I know you liked living at the Darumaya," Tsuruga-san told her softly.
"I just don't know how I can afford an apartment. I was only able to afford the Darumaya because I worked shifts there...maybe I can find another restaurant?"
"No." The two men spoke at once and she jumped a little, but Yashiro-san went on. "It wouldn't be safe for you. You need an apartment with actual security."
"Or at least somewhere that doesn't invite the public in."
"You won't be able to work at a restaurant regardless. Not anymore," Yashiro-san cautioned.
Of course. That made sense. Because Kyoko was famous now. Really famous. Not for being a great actress. For being Tsuruga-san's girlfriend. She just nodded, staring out the window as the city passed by in a blur. She couldn't afford an apartment, not with the work she had now and not when she was still paying off her acting classes along with her regular bills. And she couldn't get a second job because she was famous, but not famous enough to get more work.
Tsuruga-san's hand landed on hers, his fingers wrapping gently around hers, and she accepted the silent comfort, trying to pull herself together. She loved him. She was excited and nervous and scared about being in the first real relationship of her life, but she was also sad and scared and nervous about so many other things. And so she squeezed his hand, just like she had in the elevator.
"Would you stay with me tonight?"
The question surprised her, and she turned, eyes wide.
"I don't want you staying at the Darumaya. It's not safe. And I doubt the President will be able to find you an apartment in one day. You're welcome to stay in my guest room...unless you'd rather stay somewhere else."
That was the thing. She didn't have anywhere else.
The president promised to find her an apartment by the end of the week, and he agreed that Tsuruga-san's guest room would be the perfect solution, as his building had some of the best security of any apartment building in Tokyo, and so, when her filming on the set of Lotus in the Mire ended that evening, Yashiro dropped her off at his building, handing her the key card that Tsuruga-san had had him make for her, and she went up to his apartment alone for the first time.
It was strange to be in his apartment alone. The living room was dark, the HVAC humming softly in the background, and she was almost afraid to make any noise and break the near silence. She hadn't been able to talk to Tsuruga-san during the day as his schedule was packed and his breaks hadn't aligned with any of hers, so instead he'd sent her a text urging her to make herself at home and letting her know that he'd be home sometime around 11.
Kyoko shook her head at herself and took her shoes off, placing them neatly out of the way and slipping her feet into the slippers she always wore in his apartment. It was just his apartment. She'd been there before. Just because it was now her boyfriend's apartment…
She sighed, wiping a hand over her face and carrying her overnight bag into the guest room. She didn't want to think about it like that and freak herself out even more. So she was staying in her boyfriend's apartment. That didn't make it any different from the other handful of times she'd stayed there. In the guest room. She was staying in the guest room. Kyoko checked her phone to distract herself. It was only nine, and although she was hungry, she figured the least she could do was wait until closer to the time for him to come home to cook.
Was this the start of it, she wondered, dropping her phone on the bed beside her as she sat on the guest bed. The start of her turning into the girl she'd been before...sitting around, waiting for the man she loved to come home before cooking him dinner. Waking up early to make him breakfast. Neglecting herself for someone else.
No. No, Tsuruga-san wouldn't want that, she reminded herself, jumping up from the bed. He would want her to go ahead and eat because she was hungry. And then...then she could study her script and maybe call Moko-san and then later she would make him dinner. Because she wanted to. Because he'd offered his guest room to her and because she loved him. She nodded to herself, bringing her fist down onto her open hand. Right. She loved him. And he loved her back. So...so she would have something to eat and study her script like any other night.
Sadly, his refrigerator was almost empty, telling her that he really hadn't planned on her coming over. He usually stopped to get groceries when he was having her over, or she would...she sighed, moving to the cabinet, and then she paused.
There were three magazines on the counter beside the coffee maker, all looking worn and well read. She glanced around as though he'd pop up and scold her for touching his stuff, then pulled the first magazine off the stack when the kitchen continued to be empty. It was open, folded over on itself, and careful to keep his place, she glanced at the front cover. It was a brand new issue of a popular entertainment magazine, released just a day ago, and on the page it was open to was a full spread on Box R with stills from the show. And in the corner of the page was her picture. She was dressed as Natsu, Princess Rosa around her neck, her cold, dangerous smile front and center.
She swallowed hard, putting the magazine down and pulling the second one off of the stack. It was older...from a few months ago. But she recognized it...she recognized the article written about Dark Moon before it wrapped up. And sure enough, when she flipped to the page where the article started, there was a picture of her as Mio and a short interview that she'd given.
The third magazine was from months ago, back when the first episode of Dark Moon had been released. Flipping through, she quickly found herself dressed as Mio, and another picture of her from the commercial she'd done with Moko-san. The third picture, smaller than the others, was of her dressed as the Angel from Shotaro's promotional video. She remembered this one too...a series of articles on up and coming actors and actresses. And she'd been lucky enough to have been featured.
All three magazines had been flipped through, and the two older ones were creased and worn.
Had...had Tsuruga-san bought them because she was in them? A tiny, wavering smile slowly grew on her face, her cheeks hot as she carefully placed the magazines back in a stack. Was this what it felt like to have someone love you back? To have someone who wanted to support you just as much as you wanted to support them? Did he think she was a good actress? Really?
Shotaro had never supported her. He'd never taken an interest in anything about her. He'd never asked about her work, even when she became an actress and he'd started harassing her whenever he got the chance. He'd never been her friend, not really. But Tsuruga-san...he'd encouraged her at almost every turn, save for when they'd first met at LME. He'd vouched for her when she'd been trying to find Mio and he'd taught her to walk like a model for Natsu...he wanted her to do well.
And just like her, he bought magazines because the person he loved was in them.
Kyoko went through with her original plan. Finding the cabinets and refrigerator and even freezer mostly empty of food, she went down to the supermarket downstairs, pleasantly surprised when no one paid her any mind, and bought ingredients for dinner and onigiri as a snack for herself, hoping that Tsuruga-san never found out. Once she'd put away the groceries and had eaten her snack, she made herself comfortable on the sofa and went through her script like always, surprised at how easy it was to feel at home in his apartment.
About thirty minutes before he was supposed to be home, she began making dinner, putting vegetables and noodles and broth together in a pan and seasoning it with the spices they'd bought together during previous visits to the grocery. She was just putting the food onto plates when she heard the front door open. There was a moment of silence, and then he called out, voice hesitant. "I'm home."
"Welcome home!" she answered, smiling a little at the feeling of those words...at how happy she was to spend an evening with him. And the warmth the discovery of the magazines on his counter had brought to her heart, soothing her fears a little more.
Maybe this was real. Maybe she didn't have to be so afraid.
"I thought you'd be asleep." He stepped into the kitchen, looking between the plates of food and her face, brow furrowed just a little. "You didn't have to stay up and cook dinner. Did you wait all this time to eat? Weren't you hungry? Does your head feel okay?"
Each word made the warmth spread, moving from her heart until it felt like her whole body was glowing, and in a move so bold she could barely believe herself, she placed the plate on the counter and surged forward, wrapping her arms around him. He didn't hesitate, wrapping one arm around her and placing one on the back of her head. But when he spoke he sounded almost afraid.
"Are you okay?"
She pulled back, smiling up at him. "Yes! I just wanted to wait and eat with you."
He blinked, and for just a second she was afraid she'd gotten it wrong. His face was absolutely blank. Did he not want to eat with her? Was she bothering him? Did he want…
Her thoughts came to a screeching halt when he tugged her close once more, his pull gentle and insistent, and she jumped a little when his lips touched the top of her head for only a second. "Thank you," he murmured. "You didn't have to cook, but I appreciate it. It looks delicious."
When he looked at her, he was smiling that smile that had once made her want to cower in fear. Now, it just made her heart want to melt.
He carried the plates of food into the living room and she carried the water glasses. She asked him about work, and he told her about his day, then asked about her work. He asked how her role as Momiji was going and about her coworkers. He asked about Box R and Moko-san. He listened and he smiled and once more, she was reminded that it was nothing like before. He was nothing like Sho.
Maybe it was real.
Maybe she could hope.
He did the dishes. He insisted. "You cooked. I'll clean up." He said those words with a smile, as though there were absolutely nothing in the world he'd rather be doing than cleaning plates.
"Tsuruga-san…"
"Ren."
The word startled her and she frowned, cocking her head, and he stared into the dishwater.
"I wish you'd just call me by my first name. My stage name, anyway." He looked up then, expression wistful. "One day, I hope you'll call me by my real name. But for now, would you call me Ren? You don't have to be so formal, or use honorifics."
"Wouldn't...wouldn't people think I was rude?" she asked in a whisper.
"No," he answered, voice equally quiet. "They'd think that we are very close, which we are. They'd think that we've known each other for long enough that we no longer need to be so formal with one another, which we have." He put the plate down, and sudsy water splashed his arm as it fell into the sink. "They'd think that you are someone special to me. And they'd be right."
Kyoko nodded, cheeks going pink. She was special to him. The last person...the only person who had ever thought she was special had been her father.
His father.
Hizuri-san? What exactly was she supposed to call him?
Into the box those thoughts went, and she forced herself to stay in the moment. "Okay. But if I call you Ren, shouldn't you call me Kyoko?"
He watched her, looking very serious. "Only if you give me permission."
Her cheeks darkened. So he was going to make her say it. "You can call me Kyoko. You're right...we've known each other for long enough. You don't have to use honorifics with me."
This time when she stepped forward to help him clean up, he handed her a dish towel so that she could dry everything, and together, working in comfortable, sleepy silence, they finished cleaning the kitchen. And then he bid her goodnight, his hand brushing her hair back as he told her to have sweet dreams.
Kyoko woke to the smell of...something. She scrunched her nose, rolling over on her futon before realizing it wasn't her futon she was laying on. Her face was buried in a thick, comfortable pillow, and she was cocooned in luxurious blankets. And she thought she smelled something like food. She shot an arm out, reaching for her phone to check the time. She'd set her alarm to go off at 6, figuring she'd make them both breakfast, and it was set to go off in five minutes. So...what was that smell?
She dragged herself out of bed, still in her pajamas. Running her fingers through her messy hair, she opened her door and squinted at the light coming from the kitchen. Making her way through the apartment, she paused in the doorway and couldn't help the smile as she watched him struggle to fold a mostly burnt egg over on itself. He was still wearing his pajamas as well, and his face was scrunched in utter concentration, but when the egg broke, the already black edges going even blacker, he cursed under his breath in English, and she couldn't help the tiny bark of laughter.
Tsuruga-san...no, Ren jumped, eyes wide as his head snapped up and she covered her mouth, trying to hold the laughter in. He crossed his arms, eyes narrowing, and she lost the battle with her own laughter, giggling into her hand and trying to shrink back into the living room and out of sight. He looked ridiculous, his hair springing in every direction just like when he'd been acting as Cain, his petulant frown slowly dropping from his face, a smile taking its place.
"I was hoping to return the favor this morning and make you breakfast," he admitted. "I thought Tamagoyaki would be easiest."
Her laughter died, and all she could do was smile, her heart going warm and melty once more. He'd woken up early to make her breakfast. It was as if he'd studied how Sho had treated her for her entire life and had set out to do the exact opposite. Or maybe this was what it liked when the person you loved loved you back. When that person wanted to do things for you as much as you wanted to do things for them. And maybe, she thought, one day she'd stop being so surprised by it.
"The burner is too hot," she told him, joining him by the stove and pulling out some fresh eggs, their bodies so close that she could feel his warmth. But she wasn't afraid. She wasn't nervous...well, not as nervous. She was happy. "I'll show you. Do you like them salty or sweet?"
"Whichever you prefer."
How could he sound like that? So happy...how could she be the one that made him so happy? All she was doing was showing him how to cook!
"Kyoko?"
"Hm?" she looked up, and stiffened in surprise at how close he was before relaxing, her cheek heating up as his hand rested on her face, his fingers brushing her hair back behind her ear.
"Good morning."
Her eyes dropped on instinct. It was too early for his heavenly smile. If he wasn't careful, she was going to melt into a puddle of goo before 6am and it would all be his fault. "Good morning, Ren." She cleared her throat. "We should hurry so we aren't late when Yashiro-san picks us up."
He chuckled a little, stroking her cheek one more time before dropping his hand. "You're right. Okay. Tamagoyaki. Teach me."
And so she did.