Child of Chaos

by Curiosity44

Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, otherwise known in Fanon circles as the great emperor troll, made a mistake in a magical experiment. The result of the mistake both surprised and amused Zelretch so much, he decided to roll with it. Join our MC on the ride of his life through the multiverse as he causes chaos, and gets thrown into chaos, at every turn. Rip-off jumpchain crackfic

3. First World Part 1

Chapter 1: Harry Potter Part 1

After stepping through the door of light, I lost consciousness only to open my eyes soon after and see a wooden ceiling above me.

'Am I laying down? Gah, what a weird feeling.'

Going from walking straight to laying down without an in between part was uncomfortable.

Shrugging that off, I sat up and looked around to see I was in a bed in a plain and dark wooden room.

There was the bed, a nightstand with a small dirty mirror, a dresser, a single lamp, and the door.

'Hm, interesting.'

Well, no, it wasn't interesting, but it was new!

On the nightstand, I saw an open envelope and smirked in expectance of what it was.

Opening it up with a bit of wonder, I read the words carefully.

[To whom it may concern.

Your test results have come back.

You have aids.

Please come to St. Mungo's at your earliest convenience to have them removed.

Thank you and please remember to use protection.]

'…'

With zero hesitation, I calmly took the letter, opened the lamp with a candle in it, and set the letter on fire while closing the lamp.

Then I picked up the second letter underneath the first.

[ HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

Dear Mr. Fluff.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress. ]

The letter went on from there, but I ignored it for the most part.

No, what had my attention was who it was addressed to.

'Mr. Fluff?'

Looking around, I didn't see my iPad, but I noticed a tattoo on the back of my hand between my thumb and pointer finger. It looked like a small apple with a bite taken out of it and I rolled my eyes.

The thing could have easily been seen as a birth mark.

I focused on it and my iPad popped into existence in my hand.

I quickly scrolled to the Status app and saw my name had a new setting.

{Name: Jin Fluff.}

Checking to see if I could adjust it, I got a pop up saying: (Cannot be changed) and gave up.

'Really? Fluff, you know what, fine. Screw it, I love fluff anyway.'

Getting over that, I stood up and looked in the mirror, getting my first good look at my new body.

Even as an eleven year old, I still had slightly sharp facial features, shoulder length silky dark brown hair, and surprisingly amber gold pupils.

'Hm… I can rock this. Not to be a narcissist, but I'm gonna look good in a few years… Eh, fuck narcissism, I like this look haha.'

I can't remember what I used to look like, but I'm happy with this.

I jumped back on the bed and took a look at the iPad.

First off, it was august 1st, meaning I had 1 month until Hogwarts.

Second off, I was broke. Looking at my inventory, it seems I got a courtesy gift, as I had 50 Galleons to my name.

That's not a large amount, but not a small one.

There wasn't much else to see, so I took a quick selfie of me in this room, just to have the memory of this first moment before I switched the iPad into iPhone mode and set it as default.

An iPhone is much less conspicuous then an iPad and I wanted to make sure it was secure.

'Whenever I'm not using this, it's staying in the weird birthmark/tattoo form.'

With that done, I focused on my plan.

'I have one year in this world, better make the most of it.

I need money, I need books, and I need information.

First thing I should do is assess myself.'

Nodding at that, I closed my eyes and focused.

I chose Occumens as a natural talent, so it shouldn't be hard to use it.

Almost instinctively, I entered a meditative state and the sounds of the outside world, the little there were in this room, fell away while my mind was focused on my body.

My flesh and bones fell away leaving just an outline of my body, with a small core of blue light in my chest area.

It felt natural in a way, almost like something was guiding my mind, as I reached out to the core, and directed a flow of blue light up into my brain.

And immediately afterward, my consciousness was pulled into a blank space.

I blinked as I looked around.

'Huh, well that was interesting and simple. I guess you really shouldn't look down on natural abilities.

It makes Voldemort being a natural Ligimens much more terrifying.'

Following my instinct here, I created a mental image of what I wanted and in front of me, a gaming chair, a table, and a laptop was born.

Smiling at the sight, I sat down and looked at the laptop.

I mentally created a 'Files' app on the laptop and filled it with all my memories.

Thankfully for my organization, I was missing 90% of info from my last life, with only anime and such things leftover.

The next part took me the better part of a few hours, but I had to untangle the mess of info in my head from many anime, manga, books, and fanfictions.

I've read or watched so many, that they kind of blended together in many ways.

The good news was that with each one I separated and categorized in its own folder, the faster I became as there was less clogging up my mind.

Soon enough, I had each worlds info labeled into their own folders like One Piece, Naruto, Bleach, and so on.

It was quite amazing to be honest how simple it all was, and how clear my thoughts became all of a sudden.

I mentally created two more applications.

One for taking in new information and automatically categorizing it, and the second as something of a sticky notes.

Occlumency gives me the ability to organize and defend my mind, have some control over my emotions, and increase thought processing speed. Not to mention the ability to create a world in my mind and just hang out in here.

But it doesn't give you eidetic memory. Meaning I won't recall everything at once.

If I want to recall a memory, I have to go through the file and remember it.

It doesn't take much effort, but I appreciate this because while eidetic memory is cool, you will be remembering everything all the time. If you get stabbed, the memory of that pain will never stop bothering you. It's as much a curse as it is a blessing.

This is where my sticky notes comes in. I can place important info on it, and it acts like a cheat sheet for my mind.

For now, I placed Harry Potter world info in the sticky notes.

After all that, I closed the laptop after making a password, and then tried to create a landscape of a dessert.

Unfortunately, it seems this is where I was lacking in experience, as instead of a desert, I got a child playground sized sandpit and a massive headache.

'Ow, ok. Some things are easy to do, others need training.'

With a final thought, I turned the laptop into a piece of sand and dropped it in the sandpit.

'Not a perfect defense but I can deal with this later.'

Coming out of my mind, I rubbed my forehead.

'Choosing natural occumens was a great idea, but it seems to still be a challenge.'

I pulled up what I knew from the world and fanfiction, and I came to a conclusion.

'Being a natural occumens allowed me to enter my mindscape and organize my albeit small pool of memories easily as I was very used to using computers.

But creating large scale things or defenses for my mind will take time and training. Perhaps I should look for a book or create some mental training exercises.'

I had plenty of original ideas for training exercises. You don't read mountains of fanfiction without getting a creative mind.

Moving on from there, I tried to test out my other two gifts.

'How does one try and speak snake?'

"SSS….. ssSSss…. Sssnnakkkee…"

I slapped my forehead in embarrassment.

'Ok, let's forget this moment in life. Finding a book or a snake seems good.'

In canon, Harry was able to speak Parseltongue whenever he encountered a snake without thinking about it, so I'll find a snake and deal with it later.

As for my Animagus gift, I felt a pull in my mind as soon as I focused on it and entered a meditative state.

Similar to how I entered my mindscape, I entered a new space.

It was a heavy rainforest, and I was in a small clearing between a few tree's.

'Well.. this is something. what am I supposed to do?'

My instinct ended as soon as I entered this place, and there were sounds of many different animals and beasts resounding in the forest.

'Right, time to find a book, I would rather not enter that jungle unless I had to.'

I couldn't use my mind to create things here, it was a mental plane but not my mindscape.

Exiting from that world, I opened my eyes back on the bed.

'Ok, all three gifts have been received.'

Putting a mental check mark there, I decided to make a plan.

My iPhone showed it was currently noon, and I was hungry, so I left the sanctuary of my room and head downstairs.

The Leaky Cauldron was just as you would expect. A slightly run down looking bar and tavern.

I sat at a table with a menu on it and looked over the options, taking note of the prices and going through my now very clear memory.

'The wizarding currency of Great Britain consists of three different coins; in decreasing order of value, they are: Galleon, Sickle, and Knut. They are gold, silver, and bronze, respectively. There are 17 Sickles in a Galleon, and 29 Knut's in a Sickle, meaning there are 493 Knut's in a Galleon.'

You might think it would be annoying to deal with new currencies, and it is, but I couldn't help the simple excitement of being in a new world and place to offset the annoyance.

*Pop*

A light popping noise got my attention and I looked over to see a house elf looking up at me.

"Ello sir, what cans I be getting for you's?"

'Huh, so this place has house elves, that makes more sense.'

"Hello, can I get some of the Leaky Soup here."

The house elf nodded with a smile.

"Right away sirs."

He disappeared and I had to blink because a second later I had a bowl of hot soup on my table.

I smiled at the sight.

'Magic is awesome.'

I enjoyed my soup while thinking about getting my own house elf.

The menu showed the prices for rooms being only a sickle a day, with the soup being 5 Knut's. Considering it was august 1st, that's 31 sickles for the room and adding in food, it totals about 2 Galleons.

'Ok, step one of my diabolical plan to power. Check Gringotts, almost every fanfic I read shows the MC having an inheritance of some kind.'

I finished my soup, gave the house elf 2 galleons to pay for my room and future tab for food, and got the OK from Tom, the owner behind the counter.

He didn't question my age, most likely assuming I was an orphan going to Hogwarts in a month. Which I was.

Entering Diagon Alley wasn't hard, I just waited for the next person to go through and followed along.

The alley looked just like it did from the movie, and I smiled in wonder as I walked along the road.

Thankfully, there was a map for newcomers near the entrance.

Diagon Alley was in fact just one large, expanded alley.

It was a long strip with stores on both sides and had a two side alleys with one being smaller stores and bars, and the other being Knockturn alley.

At the end of the strip was a large marble building called Gringotts, the goblin bank.

The ministry of magic was in a different location according to the map, but you could just take a Floo there easily enough.

It took me twenty minutes to reach the bank, and honestly I wasn't really intimidated by the size of the place.

Yeah it was big, but it wasn't crazy.

The iconic door guards were there along with the poem which I mentally raised a middle finger at.

I had read the damn thing enough in fanfics to want to puke.

I made my way inside and waited in line for a teller.

"What can I do for you today child."

A rough and unhappy voice asked me.

I instinctively used occlumency to pull back a visible flinch at the goblins sharp look and spoke in a clean voice.

"I wish to take an inheritance test."

The goblin eyed me with an annoyed look and sighed.

"*Sigh* another one. It will cost you 7 Galleons brat. Are you sure?"

I nodded again and he stretched out a gnarled hand.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the money, thankful that I had the foresight to put 10 galleons in my pocket in advance.

He took the money with a smile before ringing a bell to call a runner.

"Go with him and he will test you."

The runner gave me a pointed savage smile and I nodded.

'I really hope this works.'

~Twenty minutes later.~

"Come back when you want to waste more money stupid human."

Getting tossed on your ass out the doors of Gringotts is not a fun experience.

'Note to self, find a way to prank goblins without getting killed.

Oh, and I'm not the chosen one apparently.'

My expectations of having an inheritance went down the drain.

'41 Galleons left; I better make this count.'

After failing to show any inheritance, the goblins quickly shoved me out the doors after giving me a pamphlet showing a shit ton of services they offer with stupidly expensive prices on it.

The runner even smiled at me and told me he was looking forward to my next purchase.

To be fair, that was embarrassing and sad, but at least I know right?

I double checked on the orphan fund for Hogwarts and learned it only covered up to a galleon in expenses, so I flipped them off and left.

If a single galleon can supply a kid for Hogwarts with run down equipment, I'll just use three and get normal shit.

'It's not like I will really be able to use most of it.'

Did I want to get all the materials I could for different magic? Yes, but I had no time to focus on subjects that would take me twenty times as long to learn as the subjects I chose.

Charms, Wards, occlumency, Animagus, and Parseltounge. My focus would be on these places.

Going to the store for trunks, I made a purchase of an expanded bag for 2 Galleons. It looks like a drawstring pouch and can be carried on your person without any weight.

They had trunk's going up to 15 galleons with various enchantments, but I didn't need one as I have my inventory.

I just needed something for appearances sake and since I could a small pouch with a charm to ignore weight, I could keep it on my person and use it to explain how I pull things out of nowhere.

Moving on, I went to buy robes at Madam Malkin's for Hogwarts that would resize to match my growth, clean themselves, moderate temperature, and were form fitting.

I splurged a bit on them but considering I would have to wear them for a year at least, I wanted them to be comfortable.

Unfortunately, she refused to make anything outside of wizard robes, so I just pulled up the memory of the map of Diagon Alley and went to a second clothing store in one of the two alleys away from Diagon Alley.

It was the one for smaller stores that are looked down on from wizarding culture and bars.

The owners were a pair of young women who graduated Hogwarts and couldn't get a real job thanks to their blood status as muggleborns, so they opened this store and are actually quite low key popular.

I got half a dozen pairs of clothes from them with the same enchantments as the robes.

The clothing options were not as diverse as I would have liked but I wasn't complaining with what I got.

Briefs, socks, t-shirts, jeans, and two pairs of sweats. The cool thing about the clothes is that they were made from the same materials as the robes.

Dragon hide, acromantula silk, and other such materials. So not only did they have the enchantments, but they were hard to damage unless you actually try to.

I put in a commission for more military style pants and boots, as I expected to have a wild future.

Altogether, I spent eleven galleons on all my clothes and the commission.

Yeah bro's, clothes are expensive.

'I wonder if women made men fear going shopping, so we never looked deeper into their purchase history… *shiver*.'

Next up was the cauldron and potion set, easy and simple, 1.5 galleons spent for a new and good quality set.

The letter says to bring a telescope, but I know for a fact that it's not used until 3rd year, so I didn't bother with it.

The only things left were the books and my wand.

Considering I only had 26.5 galleons left, I went for the wand first before I splurged on books.

Olivanders looked just as old and creepy from the outside as you would expect.

Walking inside, the door jingled, and I was incredibly thankful to hear the sound of voices ahead of me.

'Oh thank god, I can avoid the cliché of Olivander scaring the crap out of me.'

The front desk was in clear sight where Olivander was checking out a parent with another eleven year old kid most likely here for their wand.

They all looked over at me as I walked in and I sent them a wave.

The parent sent me a small smile and the kid nodded at me, but I swear Olivander pouted at me for some reason.

Safe to say I shivered at that look.

'Never pout at your age old man!'

They finished their purchase and left.

"Hello young man, it's unfortunate you came in when you did, I couldn't give you the traditional greeting."

I shrugged while feeling happy on the inside.

"Sorry about that, but I'm here for a wand."

Olivander chuckled and took a look at me.

"Of course, and I don't recognize you. A muggleborn?"

I nodded.

"Yup, I checked with Gringotts and I have no family bloodline or anything."

Olivander laughed at that one and reached for his tape measure.

"Ha, I can imagine you had a fun experience with that one."

I gave a wry smile at that, only making him laugh harder and he got to work.

If you ignore a few creepy things about the old man, he's not all that bad to talk to.

He asked me a few questions and we just casually spoke as he measured me.

When I asked if it was really necessary to measure the gap between each nostril, he just smugly smirked at me and tried to be mysterious.

'I'm onto you old man! I know this shit is just to mess with people and make wands seem more mysterious.'

I think he heard my thoughts, proving to me he knew Legilimency when he smirked at me.

"Ah, a natural occumens. Quite the rare talent. You protected your memories well young man, but I advise you to protect your surface thoughts better, they are not part of the memory just yet and are easy to read.

I'll recommend you a few books to read."

I gave him the stink eye for trying to read my mind, but he just shrugged and gave me a very simple answer that I couldn't argue with.

"Do you want to be here for the next 6 hours trying random wands while I respect your privacy or do you want this to be over in ten minutes."

I sighed and let it go. He had a point and it's not like he could touch my memories are even tried to. He explained that he only needed to get a feel for my mentality and magic.

He left to grab some boxes and a half dozen attempts later, I found my wand.

It was an interesting feeling to have a wand, a warm shiver shot up my arm and into my magic core, making them both vibrate slightly in bliss.

"Aha, what an interesting choice young man. Sycamore wood makes for a questing wand, eager for new experience and losing brilliance if engaged in mundane activities.

It is a quirk of these handsome wands that they may combust if allowed to become 'bored,' and many witches and wizards, settling down into middle age, are disconcerted to find their trusty wand bursting into flame in their hand as they ask it, one more time, to fetch their slippers.

As may be deduced, the sycamore's ideal owner is curious, vital, and adventurous, and when paired with such an owner, it demonstrates a capacity to learn and adapt that earns it a rightful place among the world's most highly-prized wand woods."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that explanation.

"Ha, so its' my perfect wand then, I dislike becoming bored as well."

I could feel the wand vibrate in joy at my words.

Olivander smiled at the sight.

"What a strong bond from the start, it's something I rarely see but I'm always happy when it occurs."

I nodded at him and continued.

"So what's the core and size?"

"Ah, right! My apologies. It eleven inches, a nice a sturdy wood. The core is… hm.. interesting, I don't recall when I made this one.

The core is from a Horned Serpents horn."

Here Olivander gave me a look before continuing.

"This core is exceptionally powerful, sensitive to Parseltongue and vibrates when Parseltongue is being spoken. It can also warn their owners of danger by emitting a low musical tone only heard by those with Parseltongue."

At Olivanders blank look, I just chuckled and rubbed my head.

"Aha, what a coincidence."

Olivander broke his look and shook his head with a chuckle.

"Don't worry young man, I know being a Parselmouth does not make one evil. Just because the last dark lord used it makes everyone lose their mind around the topic.

I can't blame them for being afraid, but its illogical to blame magic for the actions of a wizard. Plenty of users still actively use Parseltongue in India and it's a highly envied skill."

I nodded at his words and breathed out in relief. I didn't want him to think I was evil and report to Dumbledore on me.

I had no idea what the old man was like in this world, so I prefer to remain under the radar in my year here.

"Thank you for understanding, and if possible, please keep this to yourself, I don't need people breathing down my neck for knowing about it."

He smiled and reassured me.

At checkout, I asked for a polishing kit and a forearm holster made of dragon hide that had a disillusion enchantment to make it difficult to see under normal circumstances.

It cost 4 galleons for the wand, and 2 for the kit and holster.

20.5 Galleons left.

It was a weird feeling to have a wand. I'm not a huge fan of having to rely on one, but it was comforting to have it by my side.

It almost felt alive in its excitement for new things, and its core resonated with me on a deeper level thanks to my Parselmouth talent.

My last stop for the day was the book store.

I got the usual Hogwarts bundle of books and then went on to explore the shelves, buying books that caught my attention for charms and wards.

There weren't any clear book titles for Occlumency, but I just followed the recommendations of Olivander and found the right books.

'Cant these people just list the damn book by its subject?'

Nothing in the book store was clearly labeled outside of the Hogwarts sets, and the section for fairy tales on Harry Potter's life.

There wasn't a single book directly on Parseltongue, not that it surprised me, and I only found a single book on Animagus transformations.

Becoming an Animagus is not illegal as long as its reported when you accomplish it, but the risk factor makes it very uncommon to see.

The cashier raised an eyebrow at my purchases but just shrugged and said: 'Ah youth'.

I take it that many kids want to explore various categories only to slack off or fear the consequences listed in the books.

Anyway, the Hogwarts set was 3 galleons for new books verses the run down used ones, and it cost 7 for the various books I chose.

With a total of 11.5 galleons left, I had everything I needed for Hogwarts, a full custom wardrobe, enough books for now, and a wand.

Taking a stroll through the alley, I looked at the various stores and stopped at two that happened to be side by side.

The first was a pet store, and other was a potion store.

'Hm.. do I need a pet? No, but do I want one? Yes.

Also, it would be good to get a snake.'

I head inside and walked out a half hour later with an adorable black kitten, and a garden snake.

To the heartbreak of my fanfic trope heart, there was no phoenix egg or in disguise super special creature waiting for me to find it. Well, the kitten might be super special, but that's in terms of being fluffy.

The adorable black kitten was impossible for me to ignore. It stared up at me with those adorable kitten eyes and its glorious fluff, and I fell prisoner to it. She was Kneazle and the owner of the store was happy to be rid of her.

Kneazle's are magical cats that have a very high level of intelligence, are independent and occasionally aggressive. They have an uncanny ability to detect suspicious and distrustful people.

Thanks to that, they tend to be hard to sell as they have to actually like the owner of they will attack.

This little ball of fluff already scratched three potential owners and the shop keeper had to slash its price to 1/3rd just to sell her.

The second she saw me though, she just meowed and stared at me with those big soulful eyes. I lost in seconds.

As for the garden snake. It was just a basic snake with a tiny bit of magical boa constrictor in its bloodline. Making it a magical snake, but barely one.

I only needed a snake for my test, and I didn't have the money to splurge after buying the kitten.

After getting the food and other needed things, I was down to 6 galleons.

Entering the potion store, I checked out their products curiously, until I landed on one that I knew I had to buy.

I spent 4 galleons buying a dozen Wit-Sharpening potions.

Wit-Sharpening potions quite literally increasing the wit of the drinker temporarily.

There are warnings not to take to many in a row or risk injury, but it is incredibly useful for anyone who needs to study and learn something.

They only last an hour, making it incredibly expensive for anyone to overuse them, even the rich families don't splurge like that.

With all my shopping done, and discreetly putting them in my inventory, I went back to the Leaky Cauldron.

I might need my iPhone to remove things from my inventory but putting them in only needs a thought while I'm physically touching it.

To anyone who looked at me, I just made the pouch hanging from my neck visible and they went on their way.

Once I got back to my room, I sat down on the bed and relaxed with the kitten curled up on my stomach.

'*Phew* shopping was exciting but took a lot of work. Oh right, maybe I should try out one of the other cliches from this world.'

Sitting up, I coughed and spoke out.

"*Cough* are there any house elves without a master around?"

…..

There was silence for a moment, and I sighed at my failure before I heard 3 popping sounds.

*Pop* *Pop* *Pop*

*Hiss*

"Someone's be calling me?"

"A master?"

"He…ll...pp."

Appearing before me were three house elves in different conditions while my still unnamed kitten hissed at them for their surprise entrance.

The first looked normal and actually had some clothes.

The second wore a pillow case and had a scar on its face.

And the third was on the ground weakly calling out.

I jumped off the bed after placing my kitten to the side and moved over to the third one.

"Oh you poor thing."

I turned to the other two.

"How can I help this one?"

The two elves looked at each other before turning to me.

"You's be needing to bond with him young master. He's weak from lack of magic from a wizard."

The one with the pillow case nodded and I looked at the weak one.

'Well, I did ask for a house elf.'

"Would you like to bond with me little one?"

The weak house elf turned its eyes at me and nodded pleadingly.

I smiled at him and turned to the other two.

"*Cough* um.. how do I make the bond?"

They didn't look bothered my awkward question and the well-dressed one spoke up.

"Yous must place your hand on his head and say that he belongs to yous now, with your name young master."

I nodded and turned back only to see my kitten poking the half dead house elf.

"Oi, easy there little one."

I picked her up and settled her on my shoulder where she relaxed and watched.

Placing my hand on the house elves head, I spoke out.

"I claim you as my house elf in the name of Jin Fluff."

There was a small flash of magic and I felt something drain out of me before the half dead house elf was revitalized and stood up.

"I'm alive again! Thank yous master!"

The little guy basically kowtowed to me until I stopped him and asked him to wait a moment.

Turning to the other two, I asked if they wanted to bond, and after their agreement, I bonded them as well.

Bonding three house elves with a weak magic core was not easy and I felt a strong headache, but I pushed through it.

"So what's your stories?"

The well-dressed one spoke up first.

"I was the house elf for a noble family, but the family died out… they be treating me well, but no more babies come in, and the manor be claimed by greedy goblins, leaving me to slowly die out until yous call master."

I nodded at that and comforted him before turning to the second one with he pillow case.

"I's to have a master, but my master was not kind. Hes beat me when drunk. Two weeks ago, he's die in a bar fight, leaving me homeless until you called master."

I nodded and turned to the last one.

"I's be young master! Me's parents were held in cages and I be disposed for being to's small by the wizards. I never had a bond before master."

I comforted the little guy before laying down my rules with them.

"You three will be with me from now on. I will never beat you or hurt you, and you will not be doing any self-punishment.

If you have an issue, come to me and we will deal with it.

I also want you all to eat three good meals a day and take care of yourselves with hygiene and clothing."

Seeing them nod in happiness, I continued.

"For the next year, I will be in Hogwarts. I want you guys to join the elves there and pretend to not have any master.

I need to remain undercover for this year, and then we will be leaving for somewhere else.

Understood?"

"Yes master."

"Roger."

"Aye sir!"

"Good, now you all need names."

I pointed at the well-dressed one.

"Your Gol."

Then the pillow case one.

"Your Sil."

Then the one that was half dying.

"And your Bron."

They all bowed their little heads to me.

"Thank you master!"

I waved them off.

"For now, go try and get set up at the school and I'll call you when I need you. Oh, and this is not required, but please try and practice speaking English for one hour every day, I want to see if its lack of education or something about house elves that make you fumble on some words."

They nodded and popped away.

'Three house elves huh? Not really sure I need that many but better to have more and not need them than to need more and not have them.'

"Meow."

Turning to my kitten rubbing her head on mine, I saw her looking at me expectantly.

"Oh right, you need a name as well. How about shadow?"

The kitten tilted her head adorably before nodding.

I celebrated getting myself some house elves by playing with shadow for the next hour.

The next month flew by in what felt like seconds.

By the time august 31st came around, I had blown through most of my books on charms and wards, showing me how insane a talent I was given in those subjects, when I combined my talent with occlumency and wit sharpening potions, I was already a year 2 Hogwarts student in charms and had a decent foundation in wards while fully understanding the principles behind both subjects.

I discovered not one, but two Animagus forms. A non-magical form, and a magical form. I was not able to turn into the magical one yet, but I have discovered both of them in the jungle mental plane.

Using my garden snake, I was able to learn how to consciously use Parseltongue. It seems it used my magic to make the snake intelligent enough to answer my questions.

I let the little guy go after he helped me out in my tests.

My house elves got into Hogwarts but unfortunately they couldn't bring me in just yet as the wards kept me out. I assume a student is only read into the wards on their boat trip into the castle, which makes sense in all honesty from what I know of wards now.

With wards, you can set a specific location for the wards to scan individuals and record their magical signatures.

My occlumency has progressed well with daily meditations and I had a decent defense. My mental worlds desert has grown larger with each day, and I managed to create ten invisibility cloaks to wrap around different clumps of sand. Even if one were to find all ten of them, the actual grain of sand with my laptop was just one among many, hidden in plain sight but impossible to find.

For counter attacks, I was still working on it. At the moment, my defense was the best offense.

As for other Hogwarts subjects, just as I expected, I was shit.

Transfiguration spells blew up in my face, quite literally much to Shadow's annoyance.

Herbology and potions didn't make much sense to me.

And dark arts, from a book I got that had a few curses in them, were never cast properly. I could aim forward, and it went to my left. Aim left and it went right. So on and so on.

I gave up after a week and just stuck with what works for me. No point in wasting my time.

Along with all of the above, I also got my commissioned clothing, set up an owl order supply of Wit Sharpening potions with money I got under…. Special means.

I mean sure, wizards have laws saying house elves cant steal from other wizards, but that doesn't protect muggles you know?

And I already discovered that the 'Magic Trace' is only on wands and in specific areas around London.

I went into London, got on a train, went to other cities like Manchester and Birmingham, found country clubs for the rich and powerful, and called in Gol to go and pickpocket wallets and any jewels.

Safe to say, there was a modern day Houdini on the loose in muggle London, and I disappeared back into Diagon Alley before it became a big deal.

Using my ill-gotten gains, I just went back to Gringotts and had the money converted. I had no use for British pounds, and the jewels and gold was little in comparison.

The goblins didn't care where I got the money from, and they were happy to rip me off on the conversion rates, but in the end, I got a bit more spending money from my ventures.

I used the money to buy more Wit-Sharpening potions, get the trace removed from my wand in a shop in Knockturn Alley, and all around just splurged on different things I found.

Most of it was honestly food.

You know how most of the food you saw in the Harry Potter world was shit and greasy? Well it turns out there were others who thought so to! Mostly muggle born children anyway.

They opened a few pubs and restaurants serving dishes they made using magic. It wasn't mind blowing, but from a guy who enjoys good food, it was extremely satisfying and worth the cost.

The last thing I bought was interestingly enough, a pair magic items that were deemed a failure by its creator.

The item in question was meant to reduce the weight of its user so they could try to fly, but the creator messed up the rune's and made the opposite.

It has three settings to double the gravity used on the individual.

I bought the item at a discount with a smile and started my super Saiyan training program. 100 pushups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats, and 5km run! Every day!

…

Ok maybe not the running part but I did the other parts!

I got through the strain of pushing my new body with a combination of nutrient potions and rejuvenation potions, both of which were not cheap, but together allowed my body to grow stronger much faster.

Still, I was eleven. So when I say stronger, I mean strong for a magically charged eleven year old.

It shocks me how lazy these wizards really are. They could be Captain America level super soldiers by their prime if they just used their resources and trained their bodies from a young age.

So come September 1st, I was as ready as I could be for the Hogwarts class of 1991. And yes, I was gonna milk this year for every last drop.

*Line Break*

The Hogwarts Express was very movie like.

Go to the station, get through the secret wall, and board the large red train.

I found an empty compartment, sent a locking charm at the door, and kicked back with a book and my cat.

I know what you might be thinking, 'But what about all our favorite characters!'

My answer is simple, please refer to middle finger.

I might be physically eleven, but I have the mind of an adult. Why in god's name would I want to hang out with a bunch of eleven year old's?

What about the waifu's man!? Again, they are eleven. Get help.

Moving on, Hagrid was a funny guy to see in person.

The boat ride was full of a mysterious magic vibe and we had a beautiful clear sky with a full moon to light up the castle with moonlight in a magical image.

I honestly gave the whole thing a 9.4. I would have increased the score if a kid could have fallen overboard, so the giant squid that lives in the lake could make an appearance and scare the crap out of everyone.

It would have been hilarious, and no matter what anyone says, I did not use a weak Knockback Jinx on the Weasley boy to force the giant squid to make an appearance.

Deny till you die.

Waiting at the entrance, I saw the iconic scene of Malfoy meeting Potter for the first time, but I just hung back and enjoyed the show.

Hey, I liked the movies, and now I get a real life edition version.

McGonagall was the same batty old woman with a 'Don't fuck with me' look on her face as you would expect, but you could tell she was enjoying herself if you paid attention.

She seemed to really enjoy her job.

The welcome feast was normal, a bunch of kids at four different tables cheering and excited whenever someone gets placed in their house.

When the name 'Jin Fluff' was called, there was a dead silence as everyone stared at me in awe while I walked up to the chair like a sexy runway model.

…

..

Did I get you? Ha, no one cared who I was other than a couple people chuckling at 'Fluff' being a name.

The hat complimented me on my natural occumens talent when he couldn't find my memories, so after a brief discussion, I was allowed to enter…..

…

…

….

HUFFLEPUFF!

Why Hufflepuff? A few reasons.

One, it's funny as fuck.

Two, it's the most chill house without any inter house issues. People are friendly and don't really bother you if you want space.

Three, and this is the most important, no one expects anything from a puff. Really, everyone always has the mentality of: 'Oh it's a puff, they can't harm anything.'

Hufflepuff almost never won the house cup, never got in trouble for pulling pranks, and honestly had no known issues that made it stand out.

You would also think it's the largest house member wise but that's wrong.

The hat told me it only recommends a house to students, and that if they really want to go to another, it will let them.

So the vast majority of students go to Gryffindor or Slytherin, one for being the house of Dumbledore and the other for purebloods.

Ravenclaw was a great option as well, with Flitwick being the head there, but I really couldn't help myself with wanting to lay low and away from the spotlight. No need to catch ole bearded twinkly eyes gaze.

In my year was only four other Hufflepuffs.

Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, Ernie Macmillan, and Justin Finch-Fletchley.

The girls were polite, Justin as a fellow muggle born was shy, and Ernie was a prick of a pure blood. He also had a weird hard on for Hannah despite being eleven with the way he said they would be engaged one day.

Wizards and their culture.

The feast was simple, and my house elves made their presence known to me by silently switching out my plate of foot for something a bit healthier and less greasy.

I asked them to do it for most meals.

They integrated well into the castle and didn't have any issues.

You would think there were protections against people sending house elves to infiltrate locations, but you would be surprised.

House elf warfare doesn't seem to have been an issue here before.

Great for me.

My house elves have permission by the wards to apparate to anywhere in the castle, and I was going to milk my fast travel method.

After the feast, we got sent to our dorms, where the Hufflepuffs welcomed us, and no one looked down on us. It was nice and felt like what Hogwarts was meant to feel like.

Seeing as there were only five members, we all got our own rooms.

The castle was massive and only Gryffindor really had to share rooms due to the larger group of students.

And even then, what's wrong with expansion charms? I think McGonagall just set up that rule to promote better interhouse bonding.

Anyway, my first night in the famous castle of Hogwarts was not a quiet one.

Sitting in my bedroom with a locking charm on the door, I spoke up while sitting in a chair and stroking my kitten.

"Gol."

*Pop*

"Yes master?"

I smiled at the little guy, he was my head house elf and the one I used for most things, as he had the most knowledge and experience with this world.

"Did you find the dorm room I asked for?"

"Yes master, would you like to go now?"

"Just give me a moment."

I put Shadow on my bed and tucked her in before taking a deep breath and focusing on my Animagus form.

The non-magical animal was not hard to transform into after I studied the books.

You see, it seems that the hardest part about becoming an Animagus was meeting your inner animal and getting them to accept you.

As a natural Animagus, I was both able to find, meet, and get my non magical form to accept me.

The magical one surprised me, but it basically told me, without words, that I wasn't strong enough yet to use it.

My body started morphing smoothly without discomfort as I hunched forward onto my hands and glorious fluff grew over my body.

In seconds, I turned from a human boy to an adorable tiger adolescent.

My first form was none other than a Bengal Tiger, albeit a young teen version.

I was ecstatic to know I could turn into a tiger, not only for the glorious fluff, but because of how badass the Bengal tiger looked and was.

An adult male Bengal tigers weigh around 420 pounds and has a body length of 6 feet and a tail length of 3 feet, making them 9 feet in length.

These animals were true kings of the jungle, and they were actually stronger than even lions!

Many considered the Bengal tiger more dangerous than a lion because tigers were more aggressive, solitary, had greater muscle definition, and had much longer canines. They also climbed trees and hunted by blending into their surroundings.

Lions, for all their title of being king, were lazy and social animals with a pack. Lions were nothing to sneeze at, but tigers were the more dangerous animal.

Right now I was a little over two feet long and had orange fur with black stripes. If any fluff lover saw me right now, I would likely be suffocating in their attempts to hug and pet me, I was fucking adorable, and I knew it.

*Meow*

Shadow gave me a cute roar of approval from the bed.

And to all you furry freaks out there, Shadow is my cat, and in no way do I find her to be anything more than my cat.

Becoming a tiger brought me a few benefits. In human form, my eyesight, hearing, flexibility, muscle growth, and instinct grew.

In tiger form, all those things were enhanced, and I also had claws and fangs in this form.

The instinct was interesting, mostly just the desire to nap in the sun and stretch my body in satisfying ways, but it also seemed to bleed into me how to move quieter and blend in a bit better with my surroundings.

The only real physical changes to my human form was that my silky brown hair gained dark black highlights like the stripes of my tiger form.

It was interesting and I was excited for when I unlocked my magical animal form.

Anyway, the reason I became a cat right now is simple.

I was heading to another house's dorm, and there were wards that stopped people who didn't belong to the house from entering said house.

It was actually a good safety measure as I can see Gryffindor's and Slytherin's using it for many reasons.

But just like a certain rat would tell you, the school had no wards against Animagus forms.

Well, it did, but only on the outermost wards and once you were a student here, you were permanently allowed entry unless directly removed by the headmaster.

With graceful steps, I walked up to Gol, who placed a hand on me, and we were off.

We appeared in a dark room with the sounds of snoring echoing.

Cats don't have night vision, but their superior eyes allow them to retain more light and they can see very easily in dark places.

All I did was just walk over to the indicated bed that Gol pointed to, grabbed the piece of parchment inside a bag with my mouth, and left back to my own room.

Clean and simple.

As you guessed, I grabbed the map from the Weasley twins.

I asked Gol to find it and the twins room, but due to restrictions, a house elf cant steal from a wizard.

So Gol just took me there and easy.

Turning into human form and I sat down and gave the password.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

The map came to life and showed me all the residents of the castle.

Dumbledore was in a room at the back of his office, McGonagall was in her office, Snape was in the dungeons being creepy, and all the teachers and students were shown in their locations.

I eyed the map happily and traveled with Gol up to the seventh floor, comfortable in my knowledge that no one was around.

Finding the painting of trolls dancing wasn't hard and asking for a room full where I could study while walking back and forth 3 times was simple.

The door to the Room of Requirements appeared, and I walked in with a smile.

That smile grew annoyed as I realized the room only worked one way.

While grumbling in annoyance at false fanfiction theories and stupid wizards, I left the room, asked for a room full of money while walking back and forth three times, and came back in to see a mountain of coins.

I was overcome with joy until I walked closer and realized….. it was mostly all Knut's.

"*Sigh* I'm not surprised honestly."

Was I expecting a mountain of gold? I wished for it, but the room can only supply what is in the castle itself. And it doesn't take from castle residents, but only supplies things that were lost and tossed inside the room by house elves.

These Knut's were likely left by students and teachers and gathered over many years.

It took me an hour of work, with Gol, plus Sil and Bron who we called in, to count the pile.

It totaled 20,706 Knut's, around 500 sickles, and 40 galleons.

Sounds like a lot right? Well, no.

It's about 111 galleons all added up.

17 sickles to a galleon, 19 Knut's to sickle, and 493 Knut's to a galleon.

I was annoyed, but money is money, and 111 galleons is better than no galleons.

Next up, I walked back out and asked for a room full of enchanted items.

That was a mistake, as I walked in and found piles of junk everywhere.

Sighing, I tried again while specifying 'only functional' enchanted items.

This time it worked, but you would be surprised to note that not much was still functional.

Still, I had a great haul from what I found.

Using the memory from a directory on magical items I purchased and read in the last month, I began sorting through what I could recognize.

Quidditch stuff was ignored like beater bats, uniforms, and balls. I did grab the two working brooms though, never know when you need a flying broom.

Magic lanterns, Everlasting Candles, and an assortment of floating candles exactly like the ones found in the great hall, were aplenty.

'This solves the lighting problem of my warehouse.'

A couple magic locks that only open to my magical signature.

A magic tape measure like the one Olivander used. You never know when you need to measure something and are too lazy to move.

I found a bewitched tea set! It was a bit dirty, but Gol cleaned it up and it was really cool, it made tea all on its own and floated cups to nearby people. It even refilled cups when the cup was almost empty.

'I love magic, it makes being lazy so much more fulfilling.'

I found two working mokeskin pouches like the one I already purchased.

A pair of omnioculars, the wizarding equivalent of binoculars, but with the additional features of being able to magically slow down and replay action.

There were an assortment of various small nick knacks that I didn't bother with.

I found a few bottles of inks like disappearing ink, self-correcting ink, and color changing ink. Stuff I kept for fun but didn't know when to really use. Well ok, I would so be using the self-correcting ink to cheat in classes.

Using a quill was not as fun as it seemed, and the ink wasn't illegal.

I found a self-inking quill, and even a wand weigher funnily enough.

My wand weighed less than an ounce if you were curious.

I found a pair of tarot cards and a crystal ball which I had no idea how to use and ignored.

The vanishing cabinet was destroyed, the thing was far too creaky for my comfort and I already had house elves to move me from place to place.

Next I found a wizarding tent! Unfortunately only the expansion charm part still worked, and the inside was in disrepair. I left it be.

One really cool thing I found was one of those magic windows that can show whatever weather or background you want. All you have to do is place memories into it, same way you would a Pensieve, and it records the image.

It was pretty big to.

'I think it could take up 1/4th of a wall in my warehouse. What a lucky find.'

The last four items I found were what really counted in my book.

A time turner, only one which still worked apparently.

A box full of contract scrolls, a full thirty of them. These things were actually illegal to sell unless it was the ministry selling them to nobles.

A trio of enchanted containment box's that looked like small safes.

And finally, I shit you not, a working Pensieve was here.

Yeah, just like the one in Dumbledore's office, but smaller.

Whereas his was on a nice stand and shiny, this one was rusty and was just the bowl by itself, but it worked just fine, and it looked like it was carved out from a large quartz crystal, which explains its long shelf life.

Quartz might not be the most magically powerful material, but it definitely was one of the longest lasting and hardest to erode ones.

This thing could last upwards of half a millennia without being eroded. It was a bit fragile though, so best to be careful.

All in all, I did a little, just a small, a really short maniacal laughter in the emptiness of the room.

"MWUHA – HAHA – HAHAHAHAHA!"

*Thunder* *Lightning*

The room helpfully added in sound background effects to my maniacal laughing, effectively making my Sil and Bron hug each other in terror while Gol stood stoically and professionally.

'Ha look at that, maybe the castle really is sentient and has a sense of humor. Something to look into later.'

After my nice laugh, and with my haul all stored in my inventory, I once again walked out and asked for cursed items to appear this time.

Why did I do this? Well, for the diadem of course.

It's important to note, that even though I'm in Harry Potter's world, I have zero intention of fighting a war, playing politics, gaining fame, or any of that nonsense.

I am here to gain power and knowledge, and to experience new things and cause a bit of chaos along the way.

I have my priorities set, and all that hero and attention seeking shit can go right out the door.

Of course, I do still have some morality, and if I want to do something, I'll do it.

Like right now, how I have easy access to one of the seven horcrux's, and Ravenclaw's diadem right in front of me.

You can bet I'm going to take it.

'That reminds me, it always pissed me off to read fanfictions where a MC knew the diadem was right here, but kept putting it off and saying, 'I'll deal with it later.'

Bitch, put the damn thing in a moleskin pouch and hide it somewhere on your own terms then! Don't fucking leave it somewhere out of your control.'

While mentally ranting about old grievances, I took out one of the containment box's I conveniently just got and walked into the room full of cursed objects.

'Damn, there is a lot of shit in here.'

Contrary to the functional magic item pile, there were three or four piles of various cursed objects.

'Wizards are way too into cursing things. Or maybe that's quite normal for human behavior? Hm.. possible.'

It wasn't hard to notice the Diadem, it had a curse on it to try and seduce someone to put it on.

Thankfully, I had my natural occumens talent and could shut out such a foreign temptation.

The diadem looks like one might expect, and it wasn't hard to just kick the pedestal it was on and knock it over into the box and then seal it.

Easy and simple.

I turned an eye over the rest of the stuff here and couldn't really tell what kind of curses was on what, but my eyes did fall on something interesting.

"Hello there."

Amidst the pile were two items that caught my attention, one was a short sword, but what attracted me was the sheen of what I was sure was goblin silver. A very rare and very hard to come by metal as its usually only made and used by goblins.

The greedy little creatures horde it preciously and charge incredibly high fee's to anyone who wants to rent one.

And yes, I say rent, you can't permanently buy it.

The last recorded case of buying one was when Godric Gryffindor managed to purchase his sword.

So I was happy to find one, even if I didn't know what the curse was.

Taking out a second containment box, I scooped up the short sword and let it drop in, without physically touching it with my hand.

The last item to have my attention was a grimoire with the title 'Rituals for the Daring.'

To say I was interested would be an understatement, but again, it was cursed.

My final containment box was used.

And with that done, I walked out with a skip in my step.

For my last entrance, I asked for all the books it could give me.

That may have been the wrong thing to ask….as I walked right into a labyrinth of bookshelves.

'Right, specify.'

A second attempt for just 'Charms' got me a smaller selection.

While looking at all the books, I sighed and took out the time turner.

'I have one year to absorb as much knowledge as I can. With my occlumency, I can read anything I want in my mind after only seeing the book once.

However I still have to process the information normally. So with the year of time I have, its best to absorb as much knowledge as possible even if can't use most of it.'

With my mind made up, I put on the time turner, and turned it five times.

What is a time turner exactly?

A time turner is an enchanted hourglass, with the hour reversal charm casted on it.

The hour reversal charm allows someone to go back up to one hour into the past, but the cost of the charm is very high mana wise, and it takes a mastery in charms to use it.

A time turner, however, can be used by anyone, to go back into the past up to five hours. Extensive research was done to show that more than five hours poses a risk to the user and the time stream, therefore the item was literally restricted from being turned more than five times.

Each turn is one hour.

And on top of that, the time turner requires a special type of sand to be used, and that sand's recipe is only known to the Unspeakable's.

I have a high opinion of myself, but I'm still eleven, and my most advanced skills are turning into a non-magical tiger and uses charms up to the limit of second year.

I am not getting any more sand.

What I do have from scavenging broken time turners, however, is what I think it enough for the year.

After using the item, everything turned blurry as I felt like I was moving very quickly through mud.

It was a weird and confusing feeling, and I couldn't really tell what was up or down.

What could have been seconds or minutes after it began, my feet touched the ground and gravity brought me to my knees dry heaving.

"UURRrggg, that *huff* was not *huff* fun."

I puked and felt weak as I rested on the floor.

'I think my enhanced senses made that a lot worse than usual.'

With increased eye sight, hearing, and smell, it was not a fun journey.

It took me a minute to gain my bearings.

'Let's just hope that I get used to it, it would be a waste to not use it.'

"Gol."

*Pop*

"Yes master?"

"Help me out would you?"

Gol didn't question anything and followed my order.

He snapped his fingers and the vomit disappeared from the floor and my clothes.

"Thanks."

He nodded stoically.

Seeing as I was in a blank room, I walked out and asked for the same room full of books on charms.

I walked in, grabbed about ten books, and asked Gol to take me to the top of the astronomy tower after checking that there was no one around with the map that traveled with me.

'I guess this is the time loop, two maps exist at the same time, but when I go back in time, the me from then is removed from existence. And I will be the only one to exist when my past self goes into the past.'

It's confusing I know, but it makes one whole time loop, and It allows me to be in two places at once.

Basically, Jin A spends 5 hours sleeping, and then uses the time turner to go back 5 hours and becomes Jin B.

5 hours in the past, Jin A is sleeping, and Jin B can do what he wants.

Once 5 hours pass, Jin A disappears into the past, and Jin B takes his place.

That is how a time turner works. Jin B can observe Jin A from afar, but Jin A can't speak to Jin B or risk the time loop rupturing and effectively killing everyone.

Dangerous stuff.

Anyway, with ten books to read through, I settled in a leather chair and read under the moonlight with a fireplace going to my side curtesy of Gol.

Oh and the books from the room of requirement were magical copies that could exist inside the walls of the castle.

I tried putting them into my moleskin pouch or my inventory, and they faded into particles, and since there is no point in copying the info down, I settled for reading everything.

I also sent off Gol and told him not to speak of anything he saw unless I give him a specific code word due to using a time turner and he understood.

While keeping track of the time with a Tempus charm, an easy first year spell, I knew when to pop back into my room.

With my enhanced mind, I was able to read through all ten books in five hours, but that didn't mean I understood them.

I just made sure to clearly read each page.

In my mind, I made a new folder for books, and had each one I read store as its own file.

So essentially, it took me five hours to store ten books in my mind.

While recalling the endless shelves of books, I sighed.

'*Sigh* I have a long way to go.'