Author's Note:
Keep the reviews coming! I promise this gets more interesting. I have no I idea if I'll update tomorrow due long work day.
Chapter Three:
Zantanna looked spent. Barbara nodded at her, and she vanished in a puff of smoke.
Barbara looked at the group of barely (and not at all in Rossi's case) dressed TV show federal agents. They looked as they did the in the TV show, if they showed the characters in sleepwear. It was going to be a long night.
But a couple things needed to be addressed, including the obvious.
"I know you have a ton of questions for me," she said. "First let's get you guys some clothes. Mem go down to right second door of the hall behind me, women go the left. You'll find lockers with underwear and gym clothes in them, of all sizes.
"Barbara," Garcia said. "I—"
"You and I are not talking," she said harshly. "For a number of reasons."
"Don't talk to Garcia like that!" Prentiss said. "Do you two know each other?"
"Agent Prentiss can we talk, when you're wearing more than underwear and a nightgown, and Agent Rossi is at least wearing pants? I'll have a fresh pot of coffee made, with extra sugar available."
"How do you know our names?" Prentiss asked. "How did you know—"
"Emily," J.J. said. "I really would like to be wearing more than Matt's shirt, to assess the situation we're in."
"Fine," Prentiss said with a sigh. "But when we're dressed, I expect answers."
"I will give all that I have," Barbara said. "Go the door at the end of the hall when you're dressed."
"Barbara, I know you're mad," Garcia said.
Barbara shot her, her fiercest look. It quieted her, and she followed her team to the locker rooms.
Going, down a different hall, Barbara pulled out a tablet to review notes from teams in the field.
A message came into her ear.
"I'm coming in early," Dinah said. "I just chased Killer Croc into the sewer. He left me a cryptic calling card I want you to look at."
"Follow sewer guidelines," she said.
"I know, I know. Shower and change on the roof, before coming in."
"I also have company."
"Booty call with Dick?" she asked delightedly.
"No, something more far-fetched. Please be on your best behavior, or I will have you physically ejected from the building."
"Someone's cranky tonight," Dinah said. "You want to talk about why?"
Barbara thought about the images of Harley Quin leading her team of people who looked nothing her friends, using her team's name.
"Not right now," she said with a sigh. "I have coffee to brew."
"You never drink the stuff after two a.m. Now I really want to see what is going on."
Barbara clicked the coffee icon on her tablet, and continued to move to the conferences room.
The room had high-tech board on every wall. The gleaming black rectangular table had her green logo at the center. Barbara set up the coffee on the sidebar. She rubbed her forehead as she took a seat that the head.
The team, dressed in black gym shorts and t-shirts with her logo on them, looked considerably more comfortable. It was obvious they were very eager and slightly nervous. One thing at a time though.
"I have some day-old pastries in a box too," she said. "Help yourself."
Only Reid grabbed a mug of coffee. He stirred the sugar in quickly. Everyone took a seat. It was time to begin.
"Okay," Barbara said. "In my world, all of you are TV characters on a show about the Behavioral Analysis Unit called Criminal Minds."
"In our world you're a comic book character, right?" Reid said. "Garcia has been clandestinely communicating with you for some time."
"God, you're as smart in real life as you are on TV," Barbara said. "That is correct."
"Garcia pulled J.J.'s confession out of you? That's what caused the disturbance the multiverse," Reid said.
"You figured all that out while we were changing?" Rossi said.
"That is also correct."
J.J. turned a deep shade of red. She stared at the table.
"Wait," Alvez said. "Back up. Who are you?"
"A lesser-known comic book character," Barbara said. "I was Batgirl until the Joker paralyzed me, then I became an information broker and team strategist for a mostly-female superhero group called the Birds of Prey."
"So, you know Batman?" Simmons said.
"Batman is currently in deep space on a mission with the Justice League."
"Why are you so angry at Garcia?" Prentiss asked.
"Because I literally warned her this would happen," Barbara shouted and slammed her hand on the table. "Gotham City is always, one explosion away from going into total chaos. I really didn't need this!"
"It's more personal than that," Reid said and looked into her eyes. "She showed you raw footage of the movie they're making, didn't she? This was your team, being run by the Joker's girlfriend, with actors, who looked nothing like the people, who you care about, are based upon."
"I'm so sorry," Garcia shouted.
Barbara closed her eyes. "Anger has uses. To help stay awake, to fuel a good fight, and bring focus to a situation. I'm done being angry at you, Penelope. We need to figure out how to get you guys home."
"The woman who transported us here," Lewis said. "She used magic right? Can she fix this?"
"Magic and reality are two different things," Barbara said. "Zatanna could try, but you saw how spent she was after transporting you guys across town. It would take a lot more energy to return you back to reality."
"How do we fix this?" Rossi asked.
"You're not going to like my answer. I need more sleep to figure out what is going on. I do feel for you and want to get you home, but I can't tonight/this morning. I have a friend named Ted Kord who might be able to help, and he does his best work in the mid-A.M."
Emily was angry.
"You really expect us to—"
Dina popped her head in. Her jaw promptly fell as her eyes focused on Reid.
"Dinah, did you need something?" Barbara said.
"What if I said it was in this room?" she said slowly.
"Guys, this is Black Canary AKA Dinah Lance."
"Wow, I wouldn't have guessed this," she said.
Barbara returned her attention to the team.
"I know I sound like a bitch right now. But as I have eight different active operatives right now. I can focus on your situation better after a few hours of sleep."
"Situation!?" Rossi shouted. "We're were transported into a comic universe. You're the only one who seems to have answers! Drink some coffee and help get us home!"
"That's mean Rossi," Dinah said.
"Agent Rossi," he snapped.
Alarms suddenly went off all over the building. Barbara's heart began to race. She pulled out her tablet, and turned on her headset.
"All operatives, converge on King's Pier!" she shouted.
"What's going on?" Reid asked.
Barbara was focused on her tablet.
"I can't get there fast enough," Dinah said. "What about Zatanna?"
"Blew a fuse getting them here."
"What is going on?" J.J. shouted.
"Don't make me raise my voice," Dinah said.
Barbara sighed and put the audio on a speaker.
"Babs, I was investigating a scene, with your dad, when a goon pulled him away," Dick said.
A transmission was coming in. Barbara put it on a screen in the conference room.
The Joker had Gordon tied to a chair, with tape over his mouth. He didn't look like he was pleading. He didn't even look particularly scared. Barbara knew the look. It was that of resignation.
He raised a gun to her father's head, and pulled the trigger. What was left of her father fell out of sight.
"War has begun," the Joker said and let out a maniacal laugh. The transmission ended.
She wheeled herself away from the table.
"Barbara!" Garcia shouted.
"Don't ever talk to me again, Garcia," she said. "Dinah, show the agents to the dorms. Then meet me in the main control room."
"Babs, what's going on?" Dick asked.
"Not important. Is Bruce keeping tabs on things here?"
"He hasn't checked in, in three days."
"I'll send the bat-team to help with the scene and coordinate with my team."
"Babs, take a breath," he said.
"When my father is avenged," she said as she wheeled past the agents.
She ignored their looks of pity. The automatic door closed behind her. They were officially the least of her problems.