Ari's (Authors) Note:
Yakko: DIS
Wakko: CLAIM
Dot: ER!
Ari: Hey y'all, quick disclaimer/ trigger warning, this episode features some disturbing imagery and mild psychological horror. If that is something that you're not comfortable with, please exercise caution and skip this episode if you need to!
Yakko: Or just skip it cause it sucks.
Ari: NO IT DOESN'T! Right guys?
Wakko and Dot: Ehhhhh…
Ari: It's great! I promise! You should read it. If you want to, that is.
Yakko: *whispers* I wouldn't waste my time if I were you.
April 18th 2017
12:26 am
Ari stared down into the void where the basement sat and took a deep breath.
"A-are you sure it's actually down there?" Ari asked nervously.
"1000%!" Wakko said, giving her a thumbs up. "It's the last place I remember having it! I traded Jimmy a Venusaur for all of his Unknowns, sucker." He chuckled.
"Uh, huh…" Ari responded slowly, her eyes still fixated on the darkness below. "And what exactly do you need this so badly for?"
"I want to spell naughty words with them!" He said with a smile.
"...right." She shook off her nerves as best she could. "I'ma head down. Stay here." She said, wagging a finger in Wakko's face.
"Yes mam!" He responded and saluted her. He watched her carefully as she descended down into the basement.
It was dark, obviously. It was a basement, but this wasn't just any basement at the bottom of an old building on a studio lot. This was Jimmy's basement, and she wasn't exactly looking forward to interacting with him again, especially so soon. When she arrived at the edge of the entrance she pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and read it out loud.
"Jimmy Oh Jimmy, The great and mighty, all-powerful, all-knowing, all...encompassing, may I have safe passage through your lair?"
The darkness swirled and shifted in front of her until it formed into a dark fog in a vaguely humanoid shape. It's eyes opened.
"Oh good! You've returned! You forgot to call me legendary though." It spoke.
"Please let me through," Ari begged. "It's important."
"Hmm, fine, fine. You may enter my realm. BUT FIRST, answer me this."
"Yes?"
"What is it you seek to find within my chambers?"
"Oh, Wakko lost his Gameboy down here and he said he'd go back to his tower early if I found it for him."
"Hmm, a gaym boi. I have not heard of this gaem bouy."
"You sure you haven't seen it?"
"I would know, nothing enters my lair without my knowledge."
A can clattered in the distance and Ari and Jimmy jumped at the noise.
"AHHHH" Jimmy screamed and hid behind Ari. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"
"I-I don't know." Ari reached for her flashlight. "But I have a feeling I'm gonna find out. Watch yourself, I'm turning my flashlight on."
"I'll be over there." Jimmy swooped over into a corner of the room. "Safe travels, Canine."
She clicked the flashlight on. "Thanks..." She said softly.
If there was one word that could describe the vibe in the basement, it would be spookifying, but since Google Docs doesn't see that as a real word, spooky will have to do. Ari's flashlight was powerful but it could only do so much in the pitch-black basement. If she turned it off she wouldn't be able to see her own hand in front of her face. Or anyone else's for that matter. She wandered around the seemingly empty basement for a minute or two, not seeing anything unt-
"HELLOOOO ARI. "
Yakko didn't even get to finish his sentence before Ari screamed and jumped so high her head almost hit the ceiling. She planted her face into the ground and laid there for a moment.
"Hi." she mumbled, still face down on the ground.
"So, do you hang out in dingy basements often or is this a new hobby you're picking up?" Yakko inquired.
Ari picked herself up off the ground. "Haha, no. For real though, I should be asking you the same thing."
"Who me?" Yakko looked shocked. "I am merely here helping my dear sweet sibling find his lost Gameboy."
"Then why did he ask me to do it?" She said, crossing her arms.
"I dunno." He shrugged. "But I am glad you're here! Y'know my mother always told me 3 heads are better than two! Or was it 3's a crowd, maybe a company…"
"Wait, I thought you didn't have a Mom."
Yakko snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah! Y'know you are a lot smarter than you look, and that's saying something because...yikes."
Ari frowned. "Wow. Thanks...hold on did you say three heads?"
"Hiiiii!"
Ari whipped around so fast that her neck almost snapped and shined her flashlight in the direction of the voice, and in the process shined it right into Dot's eyes.
"OW!" They both said in unison.
"Hey, could you be a doll and get the blinding light out of my face?" Dot asked. "Thanks in advance."
Ari moved the flashlight out of Dot's face and sighed "Could you not sneak up on me in the dark, you little creeper?"
"Heyyy, I'm not a creeper! That is!" She pointed at a weird blocky green monster standing behind Ari.
Ari turned to look at it and it immediately started hissing and flashing. "OH GOD."
She jumped back, which was quick thinking because just as she did, it exploded, leaving nothing but a pile of ash behind.
"What. the. hell." Ari said slowly, catching her breath.
"Awww." Dot whined "You scared it."
"I SCARED IT?" Ari laughed panickedly "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
Dot pulled out her own flashlight and illuminated her face in a spooky manner. "DEADLY SERIOUS." She spoke in a low voice.
"OK look," Ari said, brushing herself off. "If you two are looking for the Gameboy I'm just gonna head back up and wait."
"Hold it friend, the way I hear it, that wasn't the deal." Yakko interjected. "Wakko said that you have to find it." He jabbed a finger into Ari's chest as he said 'you'. "We're just here in case you get lost! Cause that's what friends are for!"
"Friends? Since when were we friends?" Ari inquired.
"Gasp!" Yakko quickly put his hands over Dot's ears. "How could you say that?! We think you're our friend! You better not let Wakko catch you saying something like that, it might break his heart. He's a gentle soul."
"He literally tried to bite my arm off yesterday."
"He's also feral, what are ya gonna do?" Yakko shrugged.
Ari sighed. "Y'know what? Fine. As long as you little weirdos don't sneak up on me again you can come along. I guess."
"No promises." Yakko half-joked.
The three of them wandered through the basement. Turning over boxes and barrels and generally making a big mess of the whole place, much to Jimmy's dismay. Ari moved an old bookcase out of the way and that's when she saw it, A door. Or, at least something that looked like a door.
"Oh, It's definitely a door. A really, really old-looking one. It's like someone stole it from Dracula's castle." Dot added.
"Yep, this is definitely the place." Yakko said.
"How are we gonna get it open though? I doubt Shadowman over there has a key for it." Ari asked.
"Hmm, good question." Yakko thought for a moment. Then he grabbed a chainsaw and cut the door down, laughing maniacally as he did it with foam dripping from his mouth.
"UHHHH." Ari said, puzzled and more than a little freaked out.
"We haven't had our rabies shots in 7 months." Dot casually explained.
"Eh, those things never worked anyway!" Yakko added, tossing the still-running chainsaw to the side. "Just look at Wakko, he took his for years and he's still Wakko."
"Yeah, I don't think he's got rabies, Yakko. He's got something way different going on." Dot scratched her head.
"Maybe we should just get going y'all." Ari cut in. "I feel like if we stay here too long, he'll hear you two talking about him and, Idk eat us or something."
"Too right! " Yakko exclaimed in a mock Australian accent. "Onwards and downwards we go!"
He and Dot grabbed Ari by the arms and the three leaned in to see what lied beyond the door. It was a staircase, it seemed in excellent condition, especially given the circumstances. It was well carpeted and the staircase itself was lit with candles on the walls. Medieval style. It was as if the place had been trapped in time.
"Wow." Ari said in awe.
"Yeah… You first!" Yakko shouted. He then proceeded to push Ari down the flight of stairs.
"WAIT WHA-AAAAAA
OW
AAAAA
OW
AAAA
OW
AAA"
CRASH
"…ow"
"Yakko." Dot put her hands on her hips. "Don't you think that was a bit much?"
Yakko shook his head. "If that was too much, I think we've REALLY lost our touch."
"Yeah, I guess it's just been too long since I've tasted violence that wasn't directed at you or Wakko. How does it taste?"
"Delicious." He motioned down the stairs. "After you miss."
"Why thank you, sir." She gave him a small curtsy.
Ari laid sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs.
"I think my everything is broken." She wheezed.
She looked up and saw a corridor in front of her, lit by candles just like the staircase she so elegantly descended. She got up slowly, taking extra care to make sure that if she really did break something, she didn't break it further. Luckily for her, all her bones were still intact. She looked up the stairs to see if Yakko and Dot were following her down but didn't see them.
She groaned. "When that kid gets down here we're going to have a long discussion about the assassination attempt he just tried to pull. Preferably with my fists involved."
She grabbed her flashlight and tried to click it on. Unfortunately for her, it didn't seem to want to cooperate. She gave up and decided to move on without it, sticking it in her pocket as she began to walk into the corridor. It was cold enough down there that it's safe to assume Ari fell quite aways down. Probably a good 20 feet, maybe even more. She wasn't good at guessing measurements, all she knew was that that staircase went on for a lot longer than she expected.
"If I see one spider down here, I'm out." She said to herself with a shake of her head.
The lights the candles provided were just enough for her to get an idea of her surroundings and not much more. The corridor itself was mostly dirt, with no carpeted floors like earlier. The floor was soft and as she walked she kicked up dust that 100% messed with her allergies. As she got to the end of the hallway she saw that it split into two directions. Left and Right, both looked very similar. She picked one and hoped for the best.
This hallway was much longer than the first one, and fewer candles dotted its walls. The air was also starting to feel much thicker as if she was descending deeper despite it not feeling like it. The ground also started to feel a little different, less solid in a way. Judging by the more dim lighting and even more dirt she kicked up, she assumed this path was much less well-traveled. As she got to the end of the hallway she saw that it split into two directions. Left and Right, both looked very similar. She picked one and hoped for the best.
Instead of being cold like the previous hallways, this one was actually warmer. Not like scalding or anything but certainly warm enough to be noticeable. As she walked, she thought she could make out something. A noise? A voice? Maybe Yakko and Dot had finally made their way down here. Maybe they were just messing with her. She turned around, but there was no one there.
"Ugh." She said quietly. "I don't get paid enough for this crap. Watch the Gameboy not even be down here."
As she got to the end of the hallway she saw it split into two directions. Left and Right, both looked very similar. She picked one and hoped for the best.
It was much MUCH hotter down this hallway, and the noises she heard were louder, but she still couldn't make out what they were. She loosened a button or two on her shirt but she started to sweat anyway. It was also much much darker than the previous two hallways. She grabbed one of the few candles that still remained on the wall and took it with her, praying that it wouldn't melt down enough to reach her hand before she made it to her hopefully, inevitable destination. As she got to the end of the hallway she saw that it split into two directions. Left and Right, both looked very similar. She picked one and hoped for the b-
It was pitch black. It was silent. The heat that she had felt earlier had completely vanished. It was freezing. The only light remaining, now coming from the burning candle she was very glad to have at this point. The ground had changed again, it felt more liquid now. As if she was trudging through mud, or something close to it. As she got to the end of the hallway she-
As she got to the end of the hallway-
As she-
There was no end.
The hallway just kept going. Long past the length of any of the previous hallways. Ari started walking faster, hoping maybe her mind was just playing games with her. No. The hallway wasn't ending like it should have. She was jogging now, not an easy feat due to the nature of the floor. Still no end in sight. Not a candle, not a split, nothing. Except the sound of her own feet now running down the hallway. Wait, were those her feet? She stopped briefly, the footsteps she now clearly heard behind her, did not.
She took off in a full sprint, accidentally dropping the candle in the process. It was pitch black. The footsteps were getting closer. She could hear the noises again. As she got to the end of the hallway, there was no split. No left or right. There was a wall. Or at least that was what it felt like when Ari ran headfirst into it at full speed, nearly knocking herself unconscious in the process. She shook it off, and looked behind her, she couldn't see anything but she could still hear the footsteps getting closer, faster.
She scratched and clawed at the wall, hoping for something, anything to get her out of this nightmare. Her hand brushed against what felt like a doorknob. There it is, her escape route. Whatever was on the other side of this door HAD to be better than what she would face in here. Right? She tried it. It was locked. Her heart sank and she kept trying desperately to unlock the door, even restoring to ramming herself into it. It was no use. It wouldn't even budge.
After trying several more times, she broke down and gave up. She sat with her back against the door and faced whatever was chasing her head-on. She tried to put on a brave face despite the darkness definitely obscuring it, but even if it wasn't, in the back of her mind she knew it wouldn't have been very convincing. The footsteps had slowed down significantly, almost leisurely in nature. They knew. They knew Ari was cornered. They had her right where they wanted her and any second they were going to lunge out of the darkness and...grab her flashlight?
Whoever had just swiped her flashlight from her, fumbled with it for a minute before finally clicking it on.
"Ah, there we go!" Yakko exclaimed. "Sorry, forgot to put the batteries back in your flashlight thingy before I pushed you down the stairs."
Ari breathed a huge sigh of relief. "O-oh. my. God. I thought…"
"You thought what?" Dot asked.
"I-I thought I was being chased by like, a monster or something. I am not happy with y'all, that is not funny."
Yakko looked confused. "We weren't chasing you, we took the scenic route."
"I saw some turtles!" Dot exclaimed.
"Which one was your favorite sis?"
"Michaelangelo!"
"Of course it was." Yakko put a hand up to his mouth and coughed "BASIC."
Dot frowned at him.
"Oh, Ahem, excuse me. Just needed to clear my throat, very dusty down here y'know?" He smirked.
Ari scoffed. "If you weren't chasing me, then who else would it have been?"
"Probably this guy!" Yakko said, pointing the flashlight behind him.
The man staring behind them was perhaps one of the scariest people Ari had ever seen in her life. He towered over the three of them, standing at about 8ft 2", his face was pale and looked like it was rotting, his eyes were sunken in, his limbs were unnaturally long and crooked, and his teeth were sharp as razors when he smiled. Ari saw all of this and reacted accordingly.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"WHOAAAA!" Yakko screamed over her. "DON'T WORRY, HE'S COOL. AREN'T YOU JOE?"
Joe shrugged. " I mean, yeah I guess. It's whatever though." Joe pulled some keys out of his pocket. "Sorry for scaring you, that's my bad. I'm not good at talking to people. I wanted to tell you that this door is locked and I could open it for you if you wanted, but like I said. I'm not good at the talking thing."
Ari took a deep breath. "OH...OK...UH…T-THANK YOU?"
"No problem. I run things down here so I guess it's the least I could do for scaring the crap out of you. Just knock on it again when you're done and I let you back out."
"G-great. H-How long have you been down here? I thought this place was locked up."
"Oh what, with that bookcase?" He laughed a slow wheezy laugh. "I can move that thing out of the way at any time dude. I should know, I put it there. And to answer your question, I've been down here about 400 years."
"You look really great for 400." Dot said politely.
"Thanks. I got a rad skincare routine."
"Is it blood?" Yakko asked.
"How did you know?"
"Lucky guess."
Joe unlocked the door for them and the three filtered through it. He closed the door behind them and locked it back up.
Ari had calmed down a bit after her near-death experience, enough to start thinking clearly. When she did, a question arose in her mind.
"Yakko, why did you take my batteries?"
Yakko looked at her and smiled. "I thought it would be funny to have you fumble around in the dark without it, and boy am I glad I was right."
Ari turned to Dot. "If I choked him like right now, would you care?"
"Hmm.." Dot thought. "Now that you mention it…"
Yakko gasped. "DOT!"
"Oh calm down. I was just thinking!" She nodded. "Yeah, I'd care."
"Phew." Yakko exclaimed.
"A little bit." Dot smirked.
"HEYYYY!"
The room they walked into was much more open than the cramped corridors they had just been in. The light in the room was coming from a pool in the corner. When Ari looked into it, she gasped. The whole thing was full of lava, or magma, take your pick, almost all the way to the top. How far down were they?
"There it is!" Yakko yelled, pointing to a pedestal suspended high on a wall.
Sure enough, there it was. Wakko's precious Gameboy that Ari had at this point, almost forgotten they were even looking for.
Ari's mouth gaped. "How the heck did he leave it up there?"
"Wakko is a different breed. We don't know how he works either so we just go with it." Dot explained.
"I don't know how any of you work." She squinted at it. "Jeez that's high, anyone feel like climbing today?"
Yakko took something out of his pocket and folded it into a paper airplane shape. He reeled his arm back and launched it as hard as he could. It cut through the air at near Mach speeds, dived and weaved its way precisely up to the pedestal and eventually, landed softly and safely right next to the Gameboy.
"...a-am I missing something here?" Ari asked. "What did that accomplish?"
Yakko wagged a finger at Ari. "Tsk tsk tsk, so impatient. Just watch."
The paper airplane started to move. Then suddenly, it unfolded and popped open, revealing itself to be Wakko!
"Oh, you found it!" He exclaimed. He grabbed it off the pedestal and kissed it multiple times. "I missed you! Don't ever run off on me like that again, you hear me?"
Ari blinked. "...WHAT?! HOW IN THE WORLD? I THOUGHT YOU WERE-"
" I changed my mind." Wakko said.
He jumped from the pedestal and joined the rest of them. They turned to leave when Yakko glanced at Wakko's Gameboy and groaned.
"Wakko…" He said, annoyed.
"Yeah?"
"That's MY Gameboy, not yours." He grabbed it from him. "Look, it has my initials on it." He turned it on and grit his teeth. "Did...DID YOU TRADE MY VENUSAUR, FOR A BUNCH OF WORTHLESS UNKNOWNS? I RAISED THAT THING FROM BIRTH." He grabbed Wakko by the shoulders and shook him. "FROM BIRTH WAKKO!"
Wakko tugged on his shirt collar. "Whoopsie! What happened to mine?"
"Hold on, didn't one of the guards take it?" Dot asked
"Oh yeah!" He smashed his face in with his hand. "I forgot that Earl took it for being out 'past curfew' YEARS ago. It's probably still in the office."
The look that painted Ari's face when she heard those words was indescribable. If it were to be described, however, it would be a mix of pain, despair, anger, and sadness.
"I-in the office? T-THE -O-OFFICE?" As she said that her whole body started to shake.
"Ari?" Yakko asked, touching Ari softly on the shoulder. "Y-you alright, buddy?"
"You should be happy!" Dot said, patting her on the back. "Wakko's Gameboy is way easier to get now that we know where it is!"
"Yeah!" Wakko added. "All we gotta do is go ALL THE WAY back up there and get it!"
Ari looked all of them in the eyes with zero emotion on her face. They smiled back at her cautiously. She smiled too.
Then she shattered into a million pieces.