Bracing himself, Kitten knocked on the door, which was decorated with several crude symbols that appeared to have been burned into the gilded wood.
"Whit dae yi'll waant, Horus? Tis tae fuckin' earlie tae be up yit!"
"Ms. Russ, it's me, Kittenus. I'm here to escort you to your morning classes.
There was the sound of voluble swearing (or what Kittenus thought was swearing, it was rather hard to tell) then of various things being shuffled around before the door popped open and Russ stuck her head out.
Blushing, Kittenus immediately looked away, as it was quite clear Princess Russ slept in the buff.
"Th' hell ye say? Ah'ament aff tae ony classes!"
"Ms. Russ, both the Empress and Principal Malchador were very clear that you were to be in class, properly dressed and ready to learn at 0800," Kitten stammered, looking anywhere but at Russ.
Blinking, Russ eyed Kittenus, then slowly grinned and opened the door wider. "Is th' wee Kitten timorous? C'moan laddie, tak' a keek at whit a real wifie looks lik'!"
"It would not be proper for a mere commoner such as myself to ogle the Imperial Princess," Kitten muttered.
"Och pick a windae, yer leavin' wi' that princess stuff," Russ snorted. She turned, picking up a few clothes strewn about the floor. "A'm fur a shower if ah hae tae be up at this ungodly oor. Care tae jyne me?"
"Illjustbeoutinthehallwaitingthankyouhaveagoodwash," Kittenus babbled, and slammed the door shut.
Thankfully, when Russ emerged, she was fully clothed, if not in the dress of an Imperial Academy student.
"I was afraid of this," Kitten sighed as he looked at the wrinkled and stained jeans and baggy shirt. "Which is why I called for backup."
"Good morning, sister!" Horus said cheerily, breezing out of her own dorm and grabbing Russ. "Let's get you properly dressed. And do something with your hair. It's a mess."
"Git yer hauns aff me! Thir's hee haw wrong wi' mah claes!" Russ protested, resisting as Horus tried to drag Russ back to her own room.
"Think of it as armor to gird you for battle. There are predators that stalk these halls, even if they are not wolves. They are dangerous, and I would have you prepared for them," Horus said firmly.
"Armor? Ah don't ken how come ye wid ca' that frilly thing armor. 'N' I'm nae sportin' a damned dress! Im na princess!" Russ yowled, but let herself be dragged into Horus's room.
Bjorn walked out of his den, eyed Kitten skeptically, then went and lay down beside Horus's door.
"Thank the Empress I came early," Kittenus groaned, and slumped against the far wall. He was just wondering how he was supposed to tame an imperial princess when the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Too late, he tried to spin.
"My my, what's a precious little thing like you doing wandering the girls' dorm? Coming to sneak into a fair maiden's room? And here I thought you'd never unwind that much, my gue'la."
"S-shaserra, what a surprise! I, um, I was just here to escort Prin-I mean, Ms. Russ to her class," Kittenus stammered as a lithe shape molded itself to his body and red eyes grinned up at him.
"Why, and here I thought maybe you were coming to see me," Shaserra purred, stroking Kittenus's chest. "Sneaking into my room, it's most unlike you."
"Yes, well, I-"
The door to Horus's dorm opened and Russ strode out, glaring around at the mostly empty hall. "A'richt, afore ony o' ye morons say anythin', tis nae a dress, tis a kilt."
Indeed, instead of the standard golden skirt or dress that was a part of the girl's uniform at Imperial Academy, a plaid kilt with grey, brown, and blue patterns on it. Russ herself was transformed, her long blond hair tamed into a series of warriors braids and done up on top of her head. Her clothes were now neat and tailored to her form, showing off her rather attractive features, even if she was still a towering giant of a woman. Though unless Kittenus missed his guess, she was now wearing a bit of makeup.
"Yes, I decided we could compromise, I didn't-" Horus cut herself off as Shaserra hastily jerked away from Kittenus. "Xenos. What are you doing here?"
"I attend this school. Your Highness," Shasserra ground out.
"I am aware of that. What are you doing in my presence? I thought you knew enough to keep out of the way," Horus hissed.
"How come said she dae that? She's deid easy oan th' een. Ne'er fucked someone lik' her afore. Think she's a guid lay?" Russ mused, walking over to look the much shorter t'au girl up and down.
"Russ! She is a xenos. We do not consort with scum such as her." Horus strode over, towering over Shassera, who did not back down, looking up definitely at the nearly two meter tall blond human. The alien's red hair was done up in a long braid that trailed down the small of her back, and instead of shoes, she was bare hoofed, though the rest of her uniform was standard, even if her body was not.
"Whit pat a bee in yer bonnet? She looks lik' a body, sure enough." Russ elbowed Horus out of the way, grinning and putting her hand next to Shassera to lean on the wall above her. "Come 'ere often, dae ye lassie? Hae tae say, ah dae lik' a redhead."
"I...am flattered, Princess Russ, but I-"
Russ's nostrils flared, but she managed to keep a somewhat manic grin on her face. "Och, na need tae be sae formal. Bit ah tell ye whit: if you're as guid wi' they funny hauns o' yers as a'm wi' mines, i'll let ye ca' me princess ony time yi'll waant."
"We do not consort with xenos!" Horus repeated, grabbing Russ by her newly braided hair and dragging the yelping horndog away. "Come. We shall dine, then attend class."
Kittenus made to follow, but Shassera grabbed his arm and hissed into his ear, "This morning, 10:14, the south annex. Do not forget."
"Do I ever?" Kittenus asked plaintively, then hurried after the two imperial princesses.
Horus was lecturing Russ, who was hunched over with a sour look on her face. "-lady of good breeding. We do not stoop to consorting with xenos. Bad enough that trash like that attends the Academy. Attempting to bed one would be a scandal and a disgrace. Would you sleep with an ork?"
"Tried wance, bit th' ninny passed oot afore we cuid finish th' deed," Russ huffed.
Horus grabbed her sister and pinned her to the wall, real anger in her eyes. "We. Do. Not. Consort. With. Xenos. If you disgrace our line and house by fucking a fish faced communist like that thing back there, I will personally remonsterate you until you see the error of your ways. Understand?"
"Braw. Ye sure ye don't wantae gang a round or twa? I'm nae forordinar intae bein' th' yin dominated bit ah cuid see masell haein a guid time wi' ye sweet hert," Russ said, giving Horus a wicked smile.
Horus snorted and stood, smoothing out her skirt. "Don't be ridiculous. We're sisters. Perhaps the only thing more disgusting than sleeping with a xenos would be doing so with family."
"Och come aff it. Ye git th' identical lecture ah did. I'm na egghead bit even ah understaun wur nae blood related. Wur na mair sisters than Mittens 'ere is oor brother," Russ argued.
"It is the principal of the matter, blood relation or no," Horus said with a toss of her head. "If you are so desperate to rut, we can find you a suitable consort. Perhaps one of those gorillas you beat into submission yesterday."
"Hmph, i'll fin' mah ain lay," Russ snorted. "'N' I'll keep aff th' aliens. Fur noo. "
"Good." Horus rounded on Kittenus, her eyes nailing him to the floor as they walked. "And what of you? What were you doing talking to that...thing."
It was rather hard for Kittenus to contain his sheer outrage, but he had heard this lecture before. Xenophobia was official Imperial policy, and the Empress had lectured him the same way. It wasn't like the t'au were orks or tyranids. They were a properly civilized race that had submitted to the glorious light of the Empress and rule by their benevolent human overlords.
After the Imperium had beaten the t'au fire cast into submission by sheer weight of numbers. The tiny nation had been no match for the might of humanity.
"As Student Body president, I must maintain cordial relations with all students at the Imperial Academy. Shas'O'Shassera is the daughter of Commander Puretide himself, and is here by your mother's official Imperial invitation. I would be remiss in my duties not to treat her well. Your highness."
"Hmph. See that you do not turn into a xenos lover. When I rule this Imperium, we shall not deal so kindly with aliens as my mother has," Horus declared.
"Och, sae ye think ye'r th' yin who's aff tae be th' neist empress, dae ye? Ah thought it as th' fitess o' us, whilk means me!" Russ lifted up her blouse, proudly displaying her abdomen, which was well defined as well as battle scarred. "Hae ye seen thae abs? Ah kin bloody weel grind bridie oan thaim dinnae ye ken!"
"That's...that's not...stay in uniform out of the dorms!" Kittenus sputtered. He flushed, realizing who he was talking to. "Um, please?"
Russ lowered her shirt and grinned at Kitten. "Ye ken, you're kinda cute whin you're flustered. I'm used tae bedding wolves, nae wee dugs, bit ah think you'd be fin tae break in."
"I, um, I-" Kittenus stammered, but Horus nodded approval.
"Kittenus would be an acceptable consort. He seems intelligent, competent, and properly differential. If you don't take him, I will."
"Back aff, boot, a clocked th' kitten foremaist!"
A fixed grin plastered itself over Kittenus's face as he opened the door for the princesses to the dinning hall. His left eye twitched slightly as they made their way inside.
Why him? Why did every female who expressed interest in him have to be completely insane?
Author's note:
I've decided the Imperial Academy is a college, not a high school.
Also, Kitten is a harem protagonist and he wants off this ride. Hasn't even met Logar yet.