"Really detective?" Lucifer said with a scoff as he stepped back into her house. He'd run to Lux get a change of clothing, as there simply was no way he was going to go to the precinct wearing the same suit he'd worn upon their return from Hell. White was fine for a party but not for catching murderers. "I thought after a century you would have finally cast aside that poor fashion sense."

Chloe rolled her eyes. She was wearing her standard work shirt, slacks, coat, and sensible shoes. Clothing she'd worn a hundred times in some variation. The only real difference was that she didn't have her hair tied up in a bun or a pony tail and that was only because her prehensile locks needed to be free; they were like having a second pair of eyes in the back of her head. Or to be more accurate a set of deadly bladed tentacles that could tear her foes to ribbons… on the back of her head.

"Lucifer, I can't just show up for work dressed to the nines," she reminded him.

"Why not? I always do!" He gave a little spin, grinning as he opened his jacket a bit so she could see his rather tasteful vest.

"And people are used to it when you do that. They aren't when it's me." She motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen, where Trixie was having a second breakfast with Charlie while Vaggie was doing the dishes. "I need to ease into it." Lucifer cocked an interested eyebrow at that. "It means that I will be doing some shopping trips in the next few days and slowly upgrading my wardrobe. I can't go with dresses and the like but I can go to your tailor to get new jackets, tops-"

"Crotchless panties?" Lucifer said.

"Lucifer!" Chloe scolded.

"What?"

"Trixie."

The Devil looked at the girl before looking at Chloe in horror. "Detective, we are not getting her-"

"I meant we aren't going to discuss what I'm buying and what holes they will have in front of her."

"She lives with Maze!" Lucifer protested. "She already knows all about those things."

Trixie merely nodded her head, a grin on her face.

Chloe sighed, rubbing her temples. "Just… remember she isn't like Charlie, okay?"

"Very well, very well. But I simply don't see why you can't walk in to the precinct and explain the situation," Lucifer said, leaning down and giving Charlie a kiss on the forehead before, after barely a pause, doing the same for Trixie; that caused the little girl to beam but thankfully she didn't try to hug him with her sticky little fingers. "Just tell them-"

"That I'm the Queen of Hell now?" Chloe asked. "We barely manage to keep you out of the funny farm."

"I was going to say that we are married and thus your finances are far better than they were so you can afford better clothes."

"Oh," Chloe said, surprised by her husband's tact.

"Yes, announcing your now my Queen requires something grander. I'm thinking a parade with all naked marchers."

"And there it is," Chloe said. She walked over to the sink. "Vaggie, I can do that. Go eat with Charlie."

"I already did," Vaggie said, focusing on a glass that, from Chloe's perspective, had been left in the sink over a 100 years ago. "It's fine."

The detective sighed. "Are you still caught up on us being royalty."

"No."

"She is!" Charlie sang out. "I told her you two weren't like that, putting on airs…" She glanced at her father who was admiring his suit again, "…er, well, you and I aren't like that mom, but she's being silly."

"Really silly," Trixie chimed in.

"Vaggie," Chloe said, gently but firmly pulling the young demon away from the sink. "You are a guest in my home. You don't need to do the dishes."

"…right. Okay. Yeah. Got it."

"Good." Chloe walked over and grabbed her badge and car keys before making sure her gun was secured to her hip; she didn't actually need the weapon anymore but she didn't want to explain to booking why all the perps she brought it had claw marks on their backs. "So we're going to take care of some paperwork down at the precinct and see about getting some time off so we all can get moved into the penthouse. Trixie, I called school and you have the rest of the week off so I want you to help Vaggie show Charlie around. She's never been to Earth, okay Monkey? So help her have some fun before she gets sucked into dealing with the hotel."

Lucifer nodded and pulled out a wad of hundred dollar bills. "This should help." Charlie nodded and took the money while Trixie eyed up the bundle with dreams of shopping sprees dancing through her head. "And here," he handed Charlie a business card, "my tailor. Your mother might be waiting to update her wardrobe but you can't spend all day in the same suit. Get yourself new clothes… some for Beatrice and Vagatha as well, I suppose." Lucifer shrugged and goodbyes were quickly made before the King and Queen of Hell went off to their dayjob at the LA PD.

"So, we can hit up some of the shops after I get fitted," Charlie said. "Dad's right… as much as I want to get started on the hotel it would be good to have a bit of fun before hand. Maybe wait until we are settled in before-"

Vaggie instantly zipped over to Charlie, pulling her out of her chair and giving her a little shake. "We can't go have fun! We have to track down the demons that you let out of Hell."

Charlie laughed at that. "Oh Vaggie, it's fine! I'm Hell's Princess… I can feel how many have left."

"And have any?"

"…weeeeeeeeell," Charlie said with a rolling shrug.

Her girlfriend glowered at her. "Charlie?"

"Only one."

Vaggie let out a sigh of relief. "Angel then." Because she just knew, without asking, that it would be Angel Dust. "So we need to track him down."

"There are angels in Hell?" Trixie asked, finishing off her last pancake."

"Oh, no no no," Charlie said with a giggle. "Angel isn't an angel."

"He's also not a lot of things," Vaggie muttered in annoyance.

Charlie continued on. "Angel Dust is one of the demons I'm trying to help reform." She turned to her girlfriend and wagged her finger in disapproval. "And how can he ever reform if you don't trust him?"

"How can he ever reform if he brings back johns to the hotel?"

"I have a John in my class," Trixie said helpfully.

Vaggie grimaced, remembering there were little ears around. This was why she wasn't a fan of kids, even cool ones like Trixie. "Not that kind of john." She looked back at Charlie. "We need to find him and send him back to Hell before he causes problems. Or worse your parents find out!"

"You worry too much," Charlie assured her girlfriend, giving her a cool-down hug. "Angel Dust will probably see the sights and then try and find us. Then we can break the news to mom and dad. It will be fine."

~MC~MC~MC~

"…Charlie?" Chloe asked as she looked at the clearly demonic perp Dan had just brought into the precinct.

"Charlie," Lucifer agreed. He took in the demon, who was wearing a white suit jacket with nothing underneath (not that anyone would realize that the furry 'top' he was wearing was his own furry skin), red gloves, high heeled boots, and black slacks. His hair cut in a long yet choppy style, pure white in color with pink fading tips and slicked back. One eye was pale white while the other was black with a red iris; Lucifer knew that everyone would assume that was just a contact lens. His arms were long and slender and he puffed out his chest so that the fur under his jacket resembled a pair of full breasts. His makeup was artfully done too. Lucifer could tell just by looking at him that he was hiding how many arms he actually had, which he was thankful for because he really wasn't in the mood to deal with humans screaming about monsters. It was so polite when a demon knew to at least TRY and look human. "And I'm rather disappointed in her… of all the souls to release from Hell she picks him?" He tilted his head. "Her? What pronoun should I use here, detective? Even the King of Hell wants to be correct when it comes to such things like gender identification."

"I really don't think diversity training covered this," she said with a sigh. Lucifer stared at her, clearly confused. "Human diversity training. Not demon."

~MC~MC~MC~

"Now then," the instructor imp told the newest recruits for the lowest circles of Hell's torture squad. The Lowest circles were reserved for sinners that didn't feel guilt for their sins and thus Hell loops wouldn't work for them. They got the standard stuff that all the horror stories and the deranged Southern Preachers spoke of (and ironically got to experience themselves because those Southern Preachers were into some sinful shit). "Today is diversity training."

The demons all groaned.

"I know, I know, no one likes to talk about this but the only way things are going to get better is if you learn what to do and not to do. Let's start with language and names." The imp pressed a button and the 1950s-style slide projector clicked to show an image of a vapid looking woman with a reverse mullet that was bleached blonde except for the roots, a coffee cup in her hand, sunglasses on her nose, her phone at the ready and ignoring her kids. "What would you call this woman if she were brought down to the rack."

"…a bitch?" one demon said.

The imp instructor sighed. "Yes, because she's NEVER been called that before. Next you'll say that you want to call her a slut or a whore. Come on everyone!" He slapped his hand into his other. "That is why we are here… you need to diversify how you treat the damned! You don't always have to whip them… get creative! Anything can be a bludgeon with the right forethought! Don't always go for the back or the head… sometimes attacking the palms or the back of the knee works." He began to click through slides. "Get creative with your name calling." Another slide showed a demon dressed as, of all things, a Power Ranger. "I know that leather is an old favorite but sometimes you can get a lot of mileage out of confusing them with wild outfits!" Another slide. "Any hole canbe violated… to demonstrate here are some photos of the Lower Circle's employee of the ear, Mazekeen, demonstrating on someone named Malcolm…"

~MC~MC~MC~

"Well, it seems like we have two choices here," Chloe said and the demon tugged on the handcuff that held him to the chair next to Dan's desk. Not to get out… more like he was just curious about them. "We either intervene and put a stop to this madness or we pretend we didn't see a thing and just get on with our paperwork."

"Or, and hear me out here my love… we make popcorn and watch."

Chloe pursed her lips in thought before sighing. "No, we need to be nice to Dan."

"…whatever for?" Lucifer asked in confusion.

Opening her mouth to respond Chloe found that after a century ruling Hell… she couldn't think of a reason why they had to bail Dan out of the humiliation that was about to come. She knew there had to be a reason.

Because he was a good cop-

He was a good fath-

Had been a good husb-

Was a nice friend who wasn't judge-

Didn't deserve all the shit life-

…huh.

"Okay, we watch for a few minutes and step in once he's in over his head," Chloe finally said. "But no popcorn. Will take too long to pop and the kernels will get stuck in my teeth and I really don't feel like explaining-" She covered her mouth with her hand so only Lucifer could see and allowed her teeth to shift into fangs. "So just watch without snacks."

Lucifer shrugged at that and pulled out a flask, wiggling it at Chloe who happily accepted (she was still a no-nonsense detective… but she was also the Queen of Hell so fuck it, why not daydrink at work?). This was perfectly fine with Lucifer… he loved Chloe when she was a human. Loved her. Absolutely loved her. Would have been fine if she remained a human forever and ever.

Honest.

…but fuck if she wasn't more fun as a demon!

"So," Dan said, not noticing Chloe and Lucifer moving their chairs so they could watch the show that was starting. "Name?"

"Whatever you want it to be," the demon purred, leaning on the desk and fluttering his eyelashes at him. "Ya got someone special you wish I could be, hmmm?"

"Listen, I'm not really in the mood for games. Just tell me what your name is so we can get these papers finished and you can be processed."

"If you aren't into games why'd you get out the handcuffs?" The demon lifted his wrist and gave it a rattle. "Though you forgot to do my other wrist." He suddenly perked up and reached under Dan's desk, abnormally long arms able to squirm around it easily. "Oh… I know what-"

"HEY HEY!" Dan squealed, leaping up and pushing away from the demon. "Don't you do that again! You are in enough trouble as it is!"

"Mmm, but I like trouble." The demon licked his lips. "Gonna come along and burst my bubble?"

"Hitting on me isn't going to help your case any," Dan said, typing away on the computer.

"Sweetie, I ain't hitting on ya, I'm just waiting for you to fuck me."

"Name?" he repeated.

"Angel Dust," the demon said with a smirk, gold tooth flashing in the light of the police station. "Like the drug. Speaking of you wouldn't happen to have any, would ya? I'm plumb out."

Dan looked at the cross dressing demon. "Are you seriously asking me for drugs."

"No, I'm playfully asking you for drugs! And sex." Angel reached up and adjusted his 'breasts'. "I'd be willing to trade one for the other."

"You aren't helping your case," Dan stated.

"Oh no!" Angel said, clasping his hands against his cheeks… and it was only then that Dan realized that somehow he'd gotten out of the cuffs. "You're going to throw me into a building full of sex-starved perverts who will trade me around until everyone gets a turn! Going from cell to cell as every hole I have is left gaping wide and oozing!" He let out a long laugh. "I just left Hell, sweet cheeks, you don't have ta offer me Heaven so quick."

"And I believe that is our cue to intervene," Chloe said, standing up and walking over to Dan's desk, tossing the flask back to Lucifer before her ex-husband noticed it. "Hey Dan, what have you got here?"

"Hey, I don't call you a what to your face!" Angel complained. "I'm damn fucking sexy is what I am and you'll remember it."

Chloe quirked an eyebrow at that. It was rare nowadays for her to run into a demon that didn't grovel at her feet the moment they caught sight of her. She… didn't quite know how to feel about that. On one hand she understood how horrible it was for the demons because they only worshiped her because they feared her wrath. At first it had been Lucifer's wrath but…

~MC~MC~MC~

"Uh, Detective?" Lucifer called out nervously as Chloe hummed to herself, pressing the live jumper cables together and causing some sparks. In front of her was a particular doctor who had decided to poison her... "I do appreciate you getting into the swing of punishing the guilty but even for Hell this seems-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Lucifer winced. "I… think I'll go see how the hellhounds are doing."

~MC~MC~MC~

…but now they knew to fear her. Perhaps even more so than they feared Lucifer. The Overlords knew that she was far above their grasp and it was only the fact that she was happy to keep to herself that allowed them to rule as they wished. Same with the Princes and all the other authority figures in Hell. Seeing her go on a few rampages of her own when she'd first arrived in Hell had taught them not to fuck with Chloe Morningstar.

This one though, who Chloe vaguely remembered slinking away from Charlie's hotel when Lucifer had gone to shut it down for renovations? No recognition. It should have made her feel relieved, perhaps even a bit like her old self again. She was trying to settle back into her life as Chloe Decker, LA detective. And yet…

…she wasn't Chloe Decker anymore. She was Chloe Morningstar, wife of the Devil, Queen of Hell, mother to a demon (two demons once they decided when Trixie would get turned into one), and it was annoying her that this sinner demon wasn't bowing and begging her forgiveness.

Lucifer touched her arm and she realized that she had begun to let her Devil Face show.

"Watch your mouth!" Dan said sternly, pointing at the bored Angel Dust. "You are looking at some serious time so you don't want to make it worse on you." He looked at Chloe, ignoring Angel as he muttered under his breath half a dozen innuendos. "This one propositioned me."

"Well, it's rare I get to say this but both of you could do far better," Lucifer purred. Chloe bit her lip, forcing herself not to smile at that.

"Laugh all you want but it's still a crime. I know you are used to paying for sex-"

"Now now, Daneil, no need to be rude." Lucifer smirked. "I never pay for it. In fact many times I'm the one that is getting tokens of gratitude."

"That's right," Chloe said, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a twenty and passing it to him. The moment Lucifer grabbed it though she realized what she'd done and her eyes went wide… though not as wide as Dan's who was staring at her in shock. "Uh…heh. Just… just a joke."

"Chloe, can I see you for a moment?" Dan demanded, finally noticing how close Lucifer and Chloe were standing next to each other, how they were practically clinging to the other. She glanced at Lucifer who silently asked if she wanted him to follow; a century of marriage made it easy for the two to read each other. She subtly shook her head and followed Dan to the conference room, leaving Lucifer and Angel Dust to talk.

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to let me try you out, see how truthful you are."

"No," Lucifer said. "Nothing against you… I've enjoyed the company of men and women and once a rather eager penguin. But for one I am happily married and I only take people to bed in my wife is there to join in… or hide in the closet watching while dressed like Wonder Woman." He smiled… that had been a fun anniversary. "Besides… I don't think Charlie would like it that much if I ruined your strides towards becoming a better person."

"Heh, what do I care?" Angel asked, leaning back in the desk chair, Lucifer's hand on the back of it. He'd realized that this was another demon and was feeling far more relaxed being around him. "Free room and board just for saying I'm going along with her little dream? Pffff! Easiest scam I ever-"

Angel Dust didn't finish. Mostly because Lucifer's hand had switched from the chair to his shoulder, squeezing down so hard he could hear bones cracking.

"Easy! Easy! I only have 5 more of those!" Angel Dust whimpered. "What's the big-" He whipped around only for his eyes to go wide at the sight of Lucifer's burning red eyes. "Oh… oh shit. You're-"

"Yes?" Lucifer said. He so rarely flashed a wide smile like Chloe did… that was her thing and he thought his own Devil Face was far better. But in that moment he focused, allowing his mouth to grow larger and larger even as his hair went blond. Chloe and him had worked to teach each other how to do the other's face, something to pass the time during a boring afternoon in Hell. He could replicate her form and she could make her skin look like it had burned from a Fall, same as his.

Angel Dust let out a weak, pathetic chuckle. "Uh… hiya, your grace." The demon swallowed. "So… you came up here too, huh?"

"Yes. For my daughter's dream. The one you are, how did you put it… running a scam on?" His smile shifted to a glower and his hair returned to normal… before he allowed, just for a moment, HIS Devil Face to flash.

"Listen… I've got a lot of work to do," Angel Dust admitted trying so very hard not to piss himself. And who could blame him… this was the fucking Morningstar! The Devil! He sat on the throne and by his command all of Hell could burn or freeze. The Overlords liked to play at being all powerful and dangerous but they were babies throwing tantrums when compared to the King. "A lot of work. But Charlie, she's helping me. That ain't a scam. I just… aw jeez, listen, this doesn't come easy for me, you know? Or any fucking demon!"

"Believe me, I know," Lucifer said. "And frankly I think my daughter is setting herself up for heartache by becoming so attached to filth like you. But," he smiled yet there was absolutely nothing comforting about seeing him grin at him. It wasn't even like most demon smiles; he'd seen Charlie when she got… manic… with her smile stretching even wider that Alastor's leer, but this wasn't that. It was a small, cold smile that spoke of utter pain. And not the kind that normally cost someone $70.

"But?" Angel Dust whimpered.

"She has set herself on that path. Which means I get two choices. I can be supportive of her, hiding my misgivings about this endeavor… or I can be overly protective and eliminate the problems before they arise."

"Heh," Angel Dust said weakly, "and I'm guessing I'm one of those problems?"

"Why you can learn!" Lucifer said with mock delight.

"Listen, I can do whatever you like. Roleplaying ain't something that's foreign to me, got me?" Angel tried to sit up but Lucifer forced him to remain slouched in the desk chair. "Just tell me how you want me to act to please your little girl and I'll do it! Honest! Want me to be all saintly and sweet and kiss all the puppies and kitties? I'll do it. Just say the word."

Lucifer though didn't let go.

"There are two things I care about after my family, my semen-breathed friend." Angel Dust reached up and breathed on his hand; he was sure he'd gargled before escaping Hell. "Free Will and The Truth. I do not lie… there is no sport in it. Lies are lazy things. The truth… that is a far better thing. More complex. More interesting. I must prefer the truth. I never lie and I especially do not lie to my family. As for Free Will… it is the reason I Fell. So what interest would I have in robbing you of yours?"

Angel Dust shifted in the chair. "Uh… no offense but you're kinda ramblin' and I'm losing track here-" Lucifer squeezed again and Angel yelped. "Okay, okay! Fuck!"

"I think fucking is what got you in a lot of problems," Lucifer said dryly. "As I was saying… I will not have you lie to Charlie and I won't force you to become something you aren't. So go ahead… make no attempt to be better. Just continue on scamming my youngest daughter." Angel Dust filed that away; the King had another kid! That was huge news! And… he would end up forgetting about that five minutes later because he wasn't a fan of politics. "But keep in mind that Free Will and Consequences aren't mutually exclusive."

"So in other words I can do what I want but if you don't like it ya punish me?" Angel Dust asked sullenly.

"Oh no no no," Lucifer leaned down and whispered, "I'll let Charlie's mother do it."

"…no. Fuck no. Fu-u-u-u-uck no!" The demon's eyes went wide in terror at that. Lucifer was feared in Hell. All trembled as he walked by, falling to their knees. They worshiped him as their king and the idea of going against him while he sat the throne was so alien to them now that it simply wasn't impossible.

And NONE of that compared to the utter terror every being in Hell felt when it came to his wife, the Queen. Especially all those that had been around during her pregnancy…

~MC~MC~MC~

Lucifer looked up at the sky in confusion. "Is it raining-"

"Uh huh," one of his servants said meekly, hiding behind a curtain.

"And are those-"

"Yes."

"And are they causing everyone to-" There was an explosion and screaming. "Right… what is she craving now?"

"Peanut butter and potato chips, your grace," the servant whimpered. "The kitchens ran all out."

"…fuck," Lucifer muttered before he began to grand debate of trying to hide in his bedroom until this blew over or braving a trip to the market to secure his wife's latest craving.

~MC~MC~MC~

"Listen, no need for that!" Angel Dust said in a hurry. "I can play nice! After all… I do really like Charlie. Honest!"

"Because she lets you stay with her for free," Lucifer said coolly. But, to Angel Dust's relief, the King released him. "So its time you earned your keep. You are going to help at her new hotel that will be above Lux. And you won't cause trouble while on Earth, understand? If I find out you are killing people I won't be happy."

"Right, no killing, no hooking, no drugs."

"I said no killing," Lucifer chided. "I never said anything about sex or drugs. By all means, sell yourself. And drugs are the spice of life!" He opened his coat to reveal a bagging of cocaine. "But this one is mine. Not yours," he warned before tucking his drugs away.

~MC~MC~MC~

Chloe folded her arms across her chest as she watched Dan stand there, trying to glower at her and get her to speak first. She remembered that look well, back when she'd been a Rookie walking the beat and eager to please. Back when the idea of being a detective had been something she'd scoffed at; she figured she'd be like her dad, in a patrol car helping out with breaking crimes and not constantly cleaning up after the horrors had happened. But it had been Dan that had made her want to do so much more. Dan who had made her strive to be better. She would always be grateful for that.

But being grateful and allowing someone to steamroll over her were two vastly different things.

Looking back on it she could see that their marriage was never going to work. While he would never admit it Dan hadn't fallen for her out of love or respect or anything like that. It had been because he liked having someone that idolized him as Chloe had done when he'd first taken her under his wing and shown her the ins and outs. Had she remained like that forever, the lesser of the relationship, she was positive they would have remained married forever. But Dan had inspired her to do more and in the greatest twist of fate that desire had also made her undesirable in his eyes.

When she had decided to become a detective Dan had been okay with it. But then, when she'd become a damn good detective? Better than him? He hadn't been able to handle that. It was the same with Trixie; he had often talked during her pregnancy of having a son that would look up to him or a daughter that would worship the ground he walked on. But Trixie was far too independent for that. She loved Dan and he loved her… but he needed a daughter that always went for him for help. And that wasn't Trixie… just like it wasn't her.

A day ago that thought would have crushed her, that the most serious relationship she'd been in had only existed because her partner needed someone to heap praise on him. But that was the key right there: a day ago.

A day on Earth.

For Dan it had been a day ago that he could still try and guilt her with his stare down. Get her to feel bad. That despite all the stupid, moronic, selfish things he'd done, how many times he'd disappointed her and Trixie because someone else who was willing to bow to him came first… she could still be affected when he looked at her and silently said, "You should be better than this."

But for her it had been a century. A long, amazing, wild, reality defying century.

She was Chloe Morningstar, the fucking Queen of Hell. Dan Esposito was nothing.

"Well?" Dan finally said.

"Well whatt?" Chloe asked. It wasn't her normal challenging tone, the one when she wasn't in the mood to play games. This was far more teasing, taunting. She couldn't help it, not after being married to Lucifer for so long! "You wanted the meeting, Dan. So… let's meet."

That through him off but he quickly recovered. "What was that out there? You handing him money. And don't say it was a joke."

"Okay, it wasn't," Chloe admitted.

"So you slept with him."

Chloe laughed. "I've slept next to him, curling up in his arms as we lay on the couch after a rough day." Dan nodded at that. "And I've also fucked him cowgirl style milking him for every drop he has."

Her ex's jaw dropped at that. Somewhere she was sure Ella was doing cartwheels and didn't know why.

"Are… are you serious?"

"I could make several jokes and string you along but…" Chloe leaned against the conference table and shrugged. "I have other things to do today. So yes, I am serious. Lucifer and I have fucked." Dan opened his mouth but Chloe continued. "We also have made tender love to each other. And screwed like bunny rabbits on cocaine. And held each other close and cried after a hard day. We've done it all."

"And… and you don't think that's highly inappropriate?" he asked.

"Why? It's not like we did it on my desk," she challenged, not admitting that Lucifer had suggested they break the news to everyone that they were together by doing just that. Maybe conceive another child right there with all her paperwork getting stuck between her ass checks as he plowed her.

"He's your partner," Dan challenged, raising his voice a bit.

"And I've also had sex with my boss and my training officer," Chloe pointed out. "And considering one of those people was you… not really a lot of high ground for you to stand on there, Dan."

"When… when did this happen?" he stammered.

"Yesterday… forever. Feels like both." Because it was. "Listen, we came in to finish up the paperwork on our last case and then I'm going to take the rest of the day off-" she lifted her hand to yawn, only to realize too late that she was using her left hand. She wondered if Dan would notice.

"Is… is that a wedding ring?"

He noticed.

"Huh… so it is!" Chloe said with a playful smile.

"You… you two got married last night?!' Dan exclaimed.

Technically they'd gotten married in Hell. Technically technically the moment she'd awoken as a demon the two of them had fought for dominance in the streets of Dis, the capital of the Infernal Kingdom, with the demons placing bets on who would win until they'd decided sex was much more fun than battle. There had also been bets on what positions they would take and who would cum the most. Demons loved the gamble.

After that had been a whirlwind of declarations to the demon masses, servants being gathered, and the next thing she knew she was in a black wedding dress walking down the aisle while a band played "Hellway to Hell".

But she didn't think Dan was ready for that story yet.

"Yeah," she admitted, a giddy little smile forming on her lips. Even after a 100 years of being together it still made her feel all warm and fuzzy to know she and Lucifer were together for eternity. "We did."

Dan walked over, sputtering before sniffing her. "Are… are you drunk?"

"Probably? Lucifer drinks some strong stuff." Chloe breathed into her hand and confirmed that yes, the odor was so strong it was likely Dan was getting drunk from her just exhaling. She sighed and pushed away from the table. "Listen Dan, this changes nothing, okay? Yes, Lucifer and I are married. Yes, I'm going to have to file all the paperwork to change my name to Morningstar-" Dan looked like he'd bit into a lemon. A lemon past its prime. "Yes, we're moving into the penthouse. Yes, him and me and Trixie and Charlie are going to be a family-"

"Whose Charlie?" Dan asked.

"Our daughter. Anyway, yes, we are going to do all that but even though I'm richer than most kings and don't really need to do it I'm still going to come in here and solve murders. Because I like doing that. It's my thing. And Lucifer is going to help me and I'll get him to tone it down on teasing you because at this point he's coming off as a bully but you kind of ask for it-"

"Daughter?" Dan finally squeaked out.

Chloe replayed the conversation she'd just had and realized she'd just revealed Charlie's existence.

"Oops," she said, embarrassed. "Just… forget about that. Anyway, nothing is going to change. Now, I need to get some paperwork done…"

She made for the door, hoping he'd be so shell-shocked he wouldn't follow.

"CHLOE!"

~MC~MC~MC~

This was the greatest day of Trixie and Charlie's life.

And wonderfully enough it was the greatest for the same reasons.

First and foremost was the fact that the two of them had a sister now and for the two that was a treasure. They were constantly holding hands as they walked down the sidewalk or giggling in delight at this thing or the next. They'd suddenly stop and explain they had to go to this store and the other would bob their head and just encourage deviating from the schedule that Charlie and Vaggie had created for the trip.

Not that Vaggie was going to complain. It was just so nice to see Charlie happy. And her big sister being as excited was icing on top of the cinnamon roll.

For Charlie it was a literal dream come true. For as far back as she could remember her parents had told her about her big sister. And Charlie had been utterly starved for information. What she was like, what she liked to do, would she like Charlie? There had been days when she got lonely and pretended that her big sister was there ready to take her on an adventure and that had gotten her through her sadness and her heartache that came from being the Heir to the Throne. Not that Charlie was naïve and believed that they could live out those dreams now; she understood that she was older than Trixie now and needed to watch out for her. But that said… she was her BIG sister. The first born. Nothing would ever change that and Charlie had no problem with that. She had only known Trixie for a few hours but already she was ready to dedicate so much of her time and energy making sure her sister was happy. And when Trixie was an adult and a demon the two of them were going to go on wild adventures and explore Earth and Hell and maybe even Heaven! Charlie had drawn up plans and everything! With her best colored pencils!

For Trixie the smiling pale skinned woman was the missing piece she hadn't even realized had been absent. She was an adult and adults were a lot better than kids in Trixie's opinion… but she was a cool adult. Like Maze and Lucifer. She knew that her mom and dad thought she liked the Demon and the Devil because they did things they weren't supposed to and let her get away with all sorts of troublesome things but it wasn't like that. Trixie loved them because they never talked down to her. Never acted like she was a baby and thus had to have everything hidden from her. They talked to her like they would anyone else and that's why she loved them. And Charlie was the same way. More than that because Charlie wanted Trixie to show her things. Yes, Charlie was the one guiding her about LA and it was her giving instructions to the limo driver where to go… but Trixie was the one for the most part answering her questions and explaining things. It made her feel… special.

The limo was already packed with all sorts of goodies that the sisters, and to a lesser extent Vaggie, had bought. Charlie's girlfriend had tried to convince them that the day was about them but Charlie wouldn't hear about it; Vaggie was always family in her opinion and Trixie had been quick to echo that sentiment. Thus with a sigh and a smile Vaggie had accepted and joined them in the splurging via the Devil's credit card.

First had been the stop at the tailor which had been… interesting…

~MC~MC~MC~

"So Miss Morningstar," Giuseppe said with tired heavy eyes, taking out his tape measure and slowly looking it over, "your father called and said you and your sister and girlfriend would need new wardrobes?"

Charlie nodded quickly, fingering her suit jacket. "Yeah… this is nice but I can still smell a bit of sulfur on it and… well… this is a big fresh start for all of us so it feels only right that we all feel fresh as well."

"Right," the tailor said, licking his finger as he set his tape measure down and grabbed a notebook. "So your father said that this one-" he pointed at Vaggie, "prefers dresses?"

"Nothing too fancy," Vaggie stated, grimacing at the thought of having to wear some fancy cocktail dress or the like. It worked for the Queen but she wasn't built for that. "I like something practical. If that makes sense." She wished there had been a woman to take her measurements, as the idea of any man touching her made her skin crawl, but she'd make do with this man as the King had sworn he was the most professional tailor in LA.

"I can do that," Giuseppe said and then quick as a bolt of lightning he began to sketch away on the small notepad. Vaggie watched, eyebrows slowly climbing up her hairline, until the tailor suddenly stopped and showed off what he'd come up with. The dress was a bit old fashion, with a collar and belt… but thinking about what Charlie wore it would work well with her outfits. And the hem was still high enough on the bottom that she could easily move and it was simple enough that she could wear it day to day without problem. And paired with some good stockings…

"Yeah, that will work!"

"And for the little missus?" the tailor asked.

"What do you want to do, Trixie?" Charlie asked.

The girl thought about it for a moment before nodding her head, taking out her phone and pulling up a picture of her mom from a few weeks ago. "Something like this." In the photo Chloe was wearing her standard work clothes, though this time she had a thigh-long jacket on. "Maybe just a bit more colorful."

"Yes… I can do that," the tailor said slowly, nodding his head. "And you, Miss Morningstar?"

"A suit, like my dad's. But obviously cut for a woman. Unless dad has worn women's suits before. With him who knows!" She laughed at her own joke.

Giuseppe nodded. "I assumed. Now then…" he motioned for her to raise her arms and he brought the tape measure close…

…at which point two plushie-like rams popped out from beneath her coat and hissed at the tailor.

"Razzle! Dazzle!" Charlie said in delight as the two demons glared at the tailor… who merely blinked while not reacting in any real other way. "I wondered where you two scamps had hidden!" She hugged the two before turning to Trixie. "These are Razzle and Dazzle, my personal assistants and bodyguards. Guys, this is Trixie!" The two goat demons instantly perked up and began to move about Trixie, excited to meet the girl heir mistress had told them so much about.

"Uh… sorry about that," Vaggie told the tailor, feeling bad for the old man.

Giuseppe shrugged. "Not the weirdest thing I've seen working for Mr. Morningstar."

~MC~MC~MC~

Once they'd all been measured (and Vaggie had admitted that the man had been good at his job and not gotten handsy at all) Razzle and Dazzle had been tasked with protecting the limo and their packages while the three continued their shopping. They were SUPPOSED to be picking up stuff for the hotel; fabric samples, paint chips, so on. Renovating the tower Lucifer owned was going to be a massive undertaking as he'd admitted that he'd only really bothered with the parts he frequented and left the rest bare. Charlie would now have full run of that, as well as the floor that would be her living space with Vaggie, so she needed to decide how she wanted things to look. Adding to the difficulty was that Charlie's Uncle Amenadiel had made clear before he'd left in the morning that he was serious in helping her and that meant avoiding more… demonic… flairs.

That was what they were supposed to be doing.

However Vaggie had quickly realized that pairing the sisters together meant a world of distraction.

"Charlie, no," Vaggie said as her girlfriend stopped to press her face against the glass window of a pet shop, staring in delight at the puppies and the kitties.

"Aw, come on… look at their cute widdle faces!" Trixie was just as entranced. "Don't you just want to lay down and let them swarm all over you?"

"Not… really?" Vaggie said, trying to repress a shudder at the idea of letting anything swarm her. "Come on, we have more shopping to do."

"We could shop for puppies," Trixie pointed out.

"She has a point," Charlie said with a grin.

"Maybe it would be best to wait till your mom and dad are here… since this will be a family dog…"

That, thankfully, got Charlie moving… though she did have to say goodbye to all the puppies and kitties and nearly convinced both of them to sing a song to the cute critters. But soon they were on their way once more.

"Should I have back spines?" Trixie asked, reaching into one of the bags she was carrying and pulling out a Godzilla doll they'd bought from a store specializing in Japanese culture and anime collectables. They'd gotten enough kaiju merch to completely alter the look of Trixie's room as well as a complete boxset of the movies as now both Trixie and Charlie wanted to watch the classics (Trixie having only seen the American films when Maze had taken her one evening). That had been one of the few detours Vaggie hadn't minded as she did rather like the Mothra plush Trixie had given her as a gift; it was sweet that she wanted to show her that moths could be powerful.

"Up to you," Charlie said. "Just think practicality. You don't want something that will make it hard for you to get through doors or sit on couches."

Trixie pondered that. "Right." They continued on for another few minutes, the little girl deep in thought while Charlie just enjoyed the feeling of the sun on her skin. She'd ditched her jacket during their last stop at the limo and rolled up her sleeves and was just basking in the rays, loving how they warmed her.

"It's like fire but… nicer!" she'd finally told Vaggie. For Vaggie the sun wasn't that big of a deal. She remembered it from her human days, of course, but there was no special love for it. No magic to it.

Then Charlie did a twirl right in the middle of the street, her hair flying out and her face glowing with giddy joy… and Vaggie found herself loving the sun so very very much.

"OH!" Trixie suddenly exclaimed. "I have to take you there!" She pointed to a rather… gaudy looking store that was about a block away.

"What is it?" Charlie asked, excitedly.

"We have these movies… cartoons mostly but other kinds too. They are by Disney and that is their store-"

"Disney has a STORE!?" Charlie squealed in delight.

Trixie was surprised but for a different reason. "You know what Disney is?"

"I've seen all the plays!" Charlie said and Vaggie and Trixie both blinked in confusion at that. Plays?

~MC~MC~MC~

"YAY!" 5 year old Charlie cried out in delight, clapping her hands as the fish demon who was playing Ariel kissed the weasel demon playing Prince Eric, ending 'The Little Mermaid'.

"I told you this was a good idea," Chloe said rather smugly; if her daughter couldn't have Disney movies on DVD then she would get the next best thing in the form of all the demons acting out the films.

"Yes yes, I suppose you're right," Lucifer said before turning to the human soul that he'd yanked out of a Hell Loop. "Well Walt, what do you have next?"

"Can I write a play about killing the Jews?"

"…no, and why do you keep asking about that?" Lucifer complained.

Chloe sighed. "Just write one about Snow White."

"White like White Power?"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Chloe groaned.

~MC~MC~MC~

Angel looked around the precinct. "So am I arrested or-?"

"I'd say you can get out of here. Chloe and I will handle it." Lucifer was leaning against Dan's desk, eating one of his stolen pudding cups. He'd missed them.

"Right, thanks your grace," Angel Dust said with a grin. "If I can, well, do anything to repay the favor…" he trailed his finger up Lucifer's leg. "I offered the cop a discount… 10% off for every inch he lacks."

"So you'll be paying me then?" Lucifer asked.

"Woof woof," Angel Dust leered.

"So Dan was going to get 20% off roughly," Chloe said, walking up to the two of them. She snatched the pudding from Lucifer's hand. "Really? Stealing?"

"The Devil has to stay in shape. Work the old demon muscles."

"Right," Chloe said, taking a spoonful of pudding for herself. "By the way, Dan knows we're having sex… and married… and about Charlie."

"So cue the raging Douching in 3…2…1…"

"CHLOE!"

"Right on time, Daniel!" Lucifer called out as the detective stormed towards them. "I do love how punctual you are! It is one of your best qualities, you know?" He walked up and patted the man on the shoulder, not at all upset when Dan shoved his hand away. In fact Lucifer allowed it; there was no way Dan could have moved him if he wanted. One of the things he and Chloe had discovered about self-actualization is if you really wanted it… it could happen. Meaning that Lucifer, if he wanted, could have been as unmovable as stone. He just chose to allow the Douche to make an even bigger fool of himself.

"What do you mean you have a daughter?!" Dan snapped at Chloe, jabbing a finger at her.

"Come now Daniel I know you aren't the best father but surely you remember your own child. Beatrice… horrible name, really, quite unfortunate, but I suppose the child must make do with what you gave her-"

Dan jabbed a finger at him and glowered. "You need to shut your mouth. I'm talking to my ex."

"Correct, Daniel," Lucifer said with a smile, doing all he could to keep his eyes from flashing. "You are talking to my wife."

"Yeah, Chloe told me about that. What the hell happened last night? Did you get her drunk? You know its not legally binding if she's drunk."

"The only thing the Detective and I had last night to drink were some of those juice boxes Beatrice prefers. I suggested wine but with the good doctor breast feeding it would have been rude. And I was informed it isn't wise to get babies drunk through mother's milk. Though I personally think that is the best way… allows you to teach them what they should be sampling. Refine their palette."

Dan stared at Lucifer, jaw working a few times as he tried to speak and failed.

Angel Dust snickered. "Ya know the last time I saw someone workin' their jaw that much they had an Imp's dick in their mouth… and mine in their behind." He laughed and looked at Chloe who merely rolled her eyes; she was far too used to demons and their coarse language to be offended by the spider demon's language. Angel Dust titled his head, staring at Dan. "Ya know, he kind of looked like you…"

"You stay out of this," Dan barked, jabbing his finger at Angel Dust. "And the same for you!" he snapped at Lucifer.

"Do I get a say if I have to stay in this?" Chloe asked. "Because I have paperwork I really need to get to-"

"Chloe, can't you see he's messing with your head?"

"How?" Chloe asked, truly interested. Lucifer's mojo didn't work on her… and her's didn't work on his. They had to go for… other methods to get one to talk…

~MC~MC~MC~

"You sure about this, Lucifer?" Chloe asked. She was dressed in a see through nightie, the fabric allowing her husband to see every inch of her but the gauzy fabric seemed to make it all the more enticing; that thin barrier begging to be torn away.

As for the Devil himself he was chained to their bed, naked save for a pillow covering his naughty bits. There we candles all around, riding crops and other toys, as well as chocolate and cream and other edible goodies.

"You said you wanted to try and break me, Detective… well… here is your shot." He wagged his eyebrows at her, tauntingly.

"Alright," Chloe said, slinking up Lucifer's body, resting her mouth near his ear. "This is the song that never ends."

"Wait, what?"

"It just goes on and on my friend."

Lucifer laughed. "You think that will break me?"

"Somebody started sing it, not knowing what it was."

He tugged on the chains. "Just admit that you can't do it and, heh, we'll call it a draw."

"And they continued singing it forever just because-"

"MERCY! MERCY!" he began to scream in terror.

~MC~MC~MC~

Dan just waved his arms at her wildly. "You show up with that black wedding ring on which is probably stolen or made from blood diamonds or something!" Chloe decided it best not to explain that it was actually Lucifer's own blood turned into metal, same with the band he now sporting though that was her blood. Dan might not understand demonic wedding rituals… mostly because there weren't any until her and Lucifer thought them up. "You're drunk." She really need to get a mint. "And you are claiming you suddenly have a kid with him? This Charlie is probably some brat one of his hook ups dumped on him and he is using voodoo to make you think you gave birth to her!"

The desk creaked as Chloe grabbed hold of it. She could feel the change coming. The desire to unleash her true demon form.

"Ya know," Angel Dust said suddenly, drawing everyone's attention, "you really looked like that client of mine."

"Man, would you shut up?"

"Did you just assume Angel's gender?" Lucifer said, clicking his tongue. "Tsk tsk tsk, Daniel… that isn't very woke at all." He frowned, looking at Chloe. "They still say woke, right?"

"How would I know?" she complained.

"No, seriously… let me take a look here…" Angel pulled out his phone and began to scroll with it.

Chloe, her anger having been doused by the interruption, was still annoyed and glared at her ex husband. She wasn't going to cut him to ribbons with her hair blades but she was going to give him a piece of her mind. "Charlie is my daughter. It doesn't matter what you think, I love her dearly. And you lost the right to judge me when we got divorced. And that happened because you hid the fact that you were in bed with crooked cops, one of whom tried to murder me and our daughter." She walked over to him, jabbing her finger into his chest. "I didn't say a word when you and Charlotte got together, despite the fact that she was Lucifer's stepmother and started out her career defending criminals and making sure they stayed out of jail."

"Now, to be fair my dear," Lucifer said, walking over and putting his hands on her shoulders, guiding her away from Dan before either of them did something they regretted… which, strangely would have resulted both ways with Dan's violent visit to Hell courtesy of its Queen. "Charlotte was working to make amends. Same as the Douche here… he does slide back far too often for my tastes but he is trying." He flashed a smile at Dan, one that would have had him pissing himself if Lucifer had allowed his teeth to sharpen into his fangs. "But don't assume that my kindness here means I'm forgiving you for talking so poorly to my wife."

"Now listen here-" Dan began.

"I knew it!" Angel Dust suddenly exclaimed, thrusting out his phone. "See, ya look just like him!"

Chloe, Lucifer, and Dan all stared at the phone, which showed a selfie of Angel Dust giving a big thumb's up… as an old man that looked a lot like Dan bent down behind Angel, his tongue out as his hands reached up to part the demon's ass cheeks-

"G-grandpa Hector?" Dan stammered.

"I think we should leave the Douche to deal with that little revelation," Lucifer nodded, Chloe only able to mutely nod before motioning for Angel to follow them out of the precinct, Dan staring dead-eyed straight ahead as his brain tried to reboot.

Paperwork could wait.