She stood across the room from him, waiting for dinner to be ready. He had come to the Night Court, as that night was Starfall, and they had greeted one another in a friendly manner.
Friends. That's what they were now. They were friends now. She had put her stubbornness aside just four months ago, and a friendship had blossomed with ease quickly after.
The sound of his heartbeat had come back. She could hear it again, and she would not take it for granted, nor would she allow herself to grow annoyed with it. She knew now what it felt like to have it disappear, and she had never wanted to experience it again.
Elain was just about to take a step towards Lucien, to ask him how he had been, when it was announced that it was time for dinner, and the others had started making their way to the table.
She took the seat meant for her, between her two sisters, while glancing over to where Lucien sat. He was sitting next to the dark skinned female who came from the Summer Court with her High Lord and her brother.
Elain had vaguely remembered the females name was Cresseida. The female looked to start up a conversation with Lucien, which had involved smiles, and expressive descriptions of something.
Elain looked to her own food, trying to ignore the pain that had surged through her in seeing it. She intended to focus on her food, and do the one thing that had never failed in calming her down.
All it had taken, was drowning out the sounds around her, and she could hear it easier. The longer she focused on it, the more clear the sound had become. His heartbeat. His music.
She tried to remind the part of herself that had reacted negatively that he was allowed to have other friends. He could speak to others. Other females. There was nothing wrong with it.
After dinner had finished, it was still early enough that they had time to go to the sitting room for an hour or two. Elain had just made to find her way to Lucien, when Nesta had stepped in, sweeping her away to talk about something.
Not fully paying attention to her sister, she was watching and saw as Lucien had been speaking with Cassian while Nesta had insisted on speaking with her. Elain found herself unkindly wishing her sister would hurry up, as she had just wished to go see her friend, and see how he was doing.
After minutes of speaking with her sister, Elain had noticed Cassian had finished speaking with Lucien, and had come to interrupt, and took Nesta with him.
Elain had barely made it three steps when Feyre stepped up, asking if she was able to sit with Nyx for a few minutes so she could go off to talk with Rhys. Elain could have cursed with how frustrated she was growing. She just wanted to speak with her friend.
Quickly realizing this conversation between Feyre and her sisters mate may not be appropriate for company to witness let alone an infant, Elain agreed. With a smile, Feyre had given Elain her nephew only to find a private room with her mate, leaving Elain standing there.
Holding back a sigh, Elain had went to find somewhere she could sit with her nephew, that was quiet enough to keep him calm, yet just loud enough to keep him awake. It was the baby's first Starfall, and her sister had wanted her son awake for it.
She found a seat, and sat with her nephew, and found she also had the task of keeping him calm, as he was growing quite restless and fussy as time past. Elain couldn't blame her nephew, as it was well past the time he would normally be put down to go to sleep.
Placing her nephew on her knee she started bouncing him, something that had always proved to cheer him up, Elain found her eyes wandering to where Lucien was now, she saw him standing with the female Cresseida again, this time she had caught him just at the end of a laugh, before she saw him smiling.
It had been so rare to see him smile and laugh with such joy, and it had almost always been someone else who brought such emotions out in him, that Elain found herself deeply wishing that she was the one who could make him laugh like that.
The pain had grown to the point she couldn't keep looking at him. She had to look away, and instead looked down to her nephew, who had dozed off somewhere in the time she had halted her knee from bouncing.
What she didn't see, was Lucien looking at her, seconds later, a sad look of secret longing on his face, before turning back to his conversation with the female he stood with.
The time had come for the group to move to the roof to watch Starfall. She had always enjoyed Starfall, as it was always a breathtakingly beautiful night. The stars would dance through the sky for hours, and everyone would simply watch for a few minutes before the joy of the evening would bring everyone to the festivities and joy filled celebrations in the street.
Elain couldn't bring herself to enjoy the beautiful sights of the evening, especially when she searched, and couldn't find a head of red hair anywhere. Her mood soured, she couldn't bring herself to enjoy herself, she half heartedly declined the invitation to go down to the streets below to join the celebrations and remained on the roof.
She had just wished to see her friend, wanted to talk with him, as he had been in the human lands the past few nights, but she each time she tried, he was speaking with someone else. Another female.
The pain tore through her chest again, and Elain had realized that it had been jealousy she had been feeling all evening. She had grown used to Lucien looking at her, rather than another female.
With a sadness that filled her, she realized she didn't have the right to the jealousy she was feeling. She had spent the past three years pushing him away, or ignoring him. They had only just become friends a few months ago.
Had she waited too long? Had she pushed him away for too long, that he grew tired of waiting, and found someone else. The very thought of him with another female threatened to tear her heart into two pieces.
She closed her eyes, in a pathetic attempt to keep the tears from falling. She hadn't realized he could find someone else, she didn't consider that he would want too.
She had liked being his friend. She liked spending time with him. The way he had calmed her down that night she lost his heartbeat, the way he was patient with her.
The way he looked, walking to meet her in her garden, the way he would smile one of his rare smiles at her. The way he set butterflies loose in her stomach.
She had liked being his friend, but had realized that she wanted— she needed more. She didn't know if it was truly her who wanted more, or the mating bond between them that pushed for her to want more, but she couldn't help it.
Elain looked to the sky, full of dancing stars, allowing herself to fall into that place within her mind, that base of the golden thread, that had the clearest sound of his heartbeat. She watched the stars dance, as she listened to his heart beat. Tears slowly finding their way down her cheeks.
Suddenly someone stepped up next to her, and she felt him look at her before turning his gaze to the sky himself. "Enjoying the sights, lady?"
Elain moved to discreetly wipe the tears from her eyes before looking up to the male she had been seeking all evening, a feeling of ease washing over her. "Yes, I am." She responded, before turning her gaze to the sky again. "And we have been over this. Please, my name is Elain." Normally she would have a small smile in reminding him this, but this time there was none.
"What's wrong?" She hears, the sound of his voice as he asked this question, so filled with concern for her, it hurt.
Shaking her head, she continued looking to the sky. "I went searching for you, to talk after dinner, before Nesta found me, and then Feyre. You were busy in conversation already." Elain explained, refusing to look at the male next to her.
A few seconds had passed before he responded to her. "You mean when I was speaking to Cresseida?" He asked her.
"Yes." She kept her answer short, not trusting her voice enough to say more than the simple single word.
"Right. She was just explaining—" He started before Elain turned to look at him.
"I do not need to know." Her words came out rather harshly, as some pained anger took root. If he wanted to move on, that was fine. But she didn't want to hear about it.
She had turned away from Lucien, missing the spark of realization that lightened his russet eye.
"You think that— oh Elain." He said sounding guilty. "Over dinner I had mentioned wanting to spend more time here in Velaris, but wasn't able too, because I need to be close to the Spring Court in case Tamlin loses any control he has left over his temper. I need to be close so I can get there to calm him down if needed. After dinner, Cresseida came to me, and told me that if I want, I can spend more time here, and she would personally send word to me if I need to go put Tamlin in his place at all." Lucien explained, gently turning Elain to look at him. "With Summer bordering Spring, it would be easier for her to keep watch."
Elain looked up at Lucien to see the guilt he had at misleading Elain, as well as some humour at finding Elain was jealous. She saw sadness in his eyes barely covering—
With a start, she realized, seeing the barely covered longing in his russet eye, that Lucien had wanted her, had needed more from their relationship, just as she found she wanted and needed more than being just friends. She wondered how long he felt that way.
Without giving herself a chance to second guess herself or overthink, she reached up on her toes, and as she closed her eyes, her lips met his in a soft, hesitant kiss.
The overthinking started when she felt Lucien freeze, causing her to pull away. Too afraid to look at him, she made herself look up, to see his face frozen in shock, eyes wide. A feeling of horror started to fill her, believing she had overstepped. The horror was met with heartbreak thinking he didn't want her, and she had misread the situation.
She took a step back, shaking her head, trying to keep the warring emotions at bay, seeing his face full of shock, his eyes not leaving her face.
Shaking her head, her eyes filled with tears, she barely whispered how she was sorry for overstepping before making to turn away.
She hadn't gotten a chance to turn around though, because, free from his shock, Lucien stepped up to her, and brought his hands to cup her face and kissed her back.
It was now Elains turn to be shocked, but the shock washed away nearly immediately as the feeling of him kissing her set her heart fluttering.
After a few seconds, his one hand moved from cupping her face, and found its way to her waist, where he pulled her closer, not pulling back from the kiss.
And the kiss, it felt as if she had been living her entire life leading up to this moment. As if her very soul had been waiting for this very moment.
The stars behind them danced through the sky, coming extremely close to where they stood, as her heart sang, and her soul felt as if it had finally come home.
There was no soft hesitation in this kiss, but it had also not deepened to heat filled passion. The small golden thread that tied them together started glowing as if it too were overjoyed at their shared kiss.
They hadn't pulled apart until they both found that they needed to breath. Elain looked up to Lucien, and could see the wonder, the awe, and the pure joy in his eye, and his smile. He was smiling at her as if he had never smiled before, and it was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.
She wondered if he could see the joy she felt, the warmth, and comfort. How he had made her feel safe, in a way no one else could ever hope to compare.
Beyond overjoyed, and unable to find the words to express how she was feeling, she reached up for one more quick kiss, before wrapping her arms around him in a hug.
Placing her right ear over his heart, even though she didn't need to, as she could hear his heart beat in her head, she closed her eyes.
The two of them had a lot to work out together, a lot to discuss. But that could wait for another time. Because right here, right now, with her standing against her mate, in the middle of flying and dancing stars, she couldn't be happier.
He wrapped his arms around her, and she opened her eyes, finally enjoying this evenings Starfall. She could still hear the music of his heart beat.