I have not slept in two nights, terrified that if I close my eyes for even a second, she will disappear.
When the nightmares come, I need to be there for her, to tell her that she will be okay, to tell her how much I love her.
Every night I just hold her close to my body finding comfort in her beating heart, as she finds comfort in my arms.
After long days of test and doctors, the only time I can truly see her at peace is at night.
Although everything is wrong, Elena in my arms again is the only thing that is right.
At least tomorrow she will finally get discharged from the hospital I thought to myself.
I gently rested my lips on the top of her head as she sleeps peacefully curled up on my chest.

It is well past midnight and suddenly I see my beautiful girls face change from her normal expression into one of pure terror.
I have not seen her this terrified since the first time I saw her in the hospital after the accident.
She began to gasp for air as if she were drowning all over again while violently flailing her arms.
The sight before me completely broke my heart- she should not have to relive this every time she closes her eyes.
I pulled her writhing body closer to my chest before I whispered, "Shhh you are safe now, you are here with me laying in a warm bed in my arms- you are not there anymore… please wake up- please," I begged her with everything in me.
Although my efforts were futile because she continued to thrash under my embrace, still desperately trying to breathe as if she were trapped underwater.
I had to pull her out of the hell she is trapped in no matter what- she should not have to feel like this for one more second.
I gently scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the far corner of the hospital room.
I slowly sat on the ground softly positioning her on my lap as I cradled her close to my chest, in hope that the movement from the bed onto the floor will wake her up.
Within a few seconds her eyes shot open but all I could see was pure terror inside them.
Her body was paralyzed with fear- it was like she couldn't speak or even make a sound.
She was looking right through me- almost as if I was not even in the room with her.
She was faintly shaking under my grasp as tears silently fell from her still chocolate eyes.
Despair filled my heart as I realized they were the same chocolate eyes that were once filled with so much light and love, not fear and pain.
I tenderly caressed her cheek doing everything in my power not to frighten her,
"Come back to me 'Lena, you are okay now I promise, I'm right here, I love you so much, please come back" I said as I realized my cheeks were wet with my own tears.
After I spoke something in her eyes changed.
She went from complete shock into a state of panic.
Suddenly she pulled away from my embrace backing into the nearest corner of the room- fear consuming her emotions.
Her eyes began to dart frantically around the room not being able to separate dreams from reality.
Once her eyes finally landed on me her whole body relaxed as she finally realized where she was.
Her unshed tears fell onto her cheeks as she collapsed into my arms.
"I've got you, I've got you, I've got you" I repeated to her as I gently stroked the back of her head.
She buried her head into my shoulder as her tears soaked through my shirt.
I gently picked her up and placed her back in the small hospital bed as I laid down again next to her.
I pulled the covers over her making sure that she was warm enough as she curled up into my chest.
We just laid there wrapped up in each other's arms before she broke the silence.

"Thank you so much… for everything," she said in a raspy voice, "I honestly don't know what I would do without you."
I delicately tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and looked into her beautiful eyes.
Eyes that I could so easily get lost in, ones I could stare at forever.

"I love you and I would do anything for you… you know that right," I told her.
She looked back into my eyes and the look behind them made my heart stop for a split second.
There was so much love behind them I could feel it radiating off her skin.

"I know," she murmured sleepily as she tucked her head under my chin.
I gently rested my lips on her hair as I heard her breathing slow down telling me she was fast asleep.