Remus stared at himself in the mirror. A slightly disheveled man wearing basketball shorts that were a little too short and a cropped Guns N' Roses shirt looked back at him. He combed his hair, trying to create some semblance of togetherness. He was just going to help the man move his things into his apartment. It shouldn't matter, but the crop felt like too much. It had been a while since he even wore something this revealing. He went through a crazy leather phase while completing his undergrad, and owned an excessive amount of black attire. Remus always felt odd looking at photos of himself from his past. They reminded him of a time where, on special occasions, he would let loose. Go to bars and drink and celebrate little victories. Times when he would play billiards and place bets, be a little reckless with his wallet. Spend money buying drinks for men and women and anyone who caught his eye.

But he was young then, he grew out of it mostly. He still occasionally would go to the bars. Have a drink or two, but now he spent that time to himself. If it was quiet enough, he would do a bit of writing. Sometimes the music and the sound helped him get out of his head. He hadn't gone to a concert in years. He wondered where that part of him had gone. In the mirror, he saw pieces of that past, but they were on a different body altogether. He let what little facial hair he had grow out. His hair has thinned and his face had become a bit more narrow. Not lifeless, but less cared for. Usually he didn't care how he looked, but for some reason he wanted to be as presentable as possible. He didn't dare consider what had him looking at himself for this long. He splashed water on his face and headed across the hall.

Remus saw Sirius by the stairs, picking up one too many boxes. His face was covered and he was barefoot on the rather questionable carpet. He looked just a bit mad and lost in the chaos of moving. Remus came and grabbed two boxes from his pile.

"You know that you're just gonna end up hurting yourself like that."

"You underestimate my reckless abandon, I've gotten myself into far worse than this. " Sirius laughed. It was genuine and soft. If he hadn't been paying attention, Remus would have missed it entirely. A chill ran down his back, his breath just a touch shakey.

"So what's the plan?"

"Moved everything inside. It's been a mess since I got here and I think some of the tenants are ready to complain about my presence."

"You got it, boss." He said with a hint of playful sarcasm. Sirius rolled his eyes and smiled.

The day went by faster than either of them could have imagined. Thankfully, Harry was plenty occupied with his toys. He sat in the living room, playing with big, colorful bricks. He was making a house for his teddy bear, careful to not knock the stuffed bear over. Every time they came and dropped a box inside, Harry would pull Sirius aside to show him his progress and Sirius always obliged. It took a little longer than Remus thought, but by five, they had gotten every box inside the space. There were just a few things in the car that needed to be moved in and the couch.

"So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" Remus asked as Sirius locked the car.

"Well, we needed a fresh start and this is all I can afford at the moment." He said, grunting as he lifted two huge luggages onto the sidewalk and wheeled them to the door. Remus grabbed the fragile box that held the door open and held it open with his back so that Sirius could get through. "I could have found something cheaper if we went more south, but it's not the most ideal place to raise Harry. I want to give him the best, so this will do. Not terrible, but not great."

"Yeah, this place is pretty whatever, but it's close to work so I don't mind it."

"Oh yeah, what kind of work do you do?"

"I work at the local university as a professor of literature."

"Ah, so you're a professional nerd." Remus flushed, embarrassed because he wasn't wrong. Sirius caught sight of Remus's face and paused on the first step "Oh gods. Oh I didn't mean that in a mean way."

"No it's okay. You're not wrong. I get paid to be nerdy. It's a privilege really." Remus continued up the stairs, wishing that his body didn't betray him in such a visible way. He turned to see Sirius still standing at the bottom. "It's just been a long time since someone has called me a nerd. "

The last person that called him a nerd was with his ex from high school. Remus was just coming to terms with the fact that he wasn't just interested in girls. He was really into this one kid from his drama class named Gil. He was the lead in nearly every play and he was damn good at it too. Remus had gone to one of the school's productions of Romeo and Juliet during his junior year for extra credit in his English class. He had brought his homework to complete during the performance. He had a seat far away from the stage so he thought he could get a little bit done. But instead, he found himself entranced. Gil had the finesse of an actor. He was committed the whole way through. When he woke up to find Juliet dead, he grieved in a way that convinced Remus she had died.

After that first performance, Remus came to each of his shows. It wasn't until his senior year that he even had the nerve to congratulate Gil. He was always surrounded by friends, family, and some girls who fancied him. He was never alone long enough to talk. So, after one particularly riveting performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream, Remus approached him with an awkward cadence, unable to look him in the eye. He couldn't even remember what he said. It didn't matter anyways because he was pushed aside by a second wave of affection and admirers. He went home feeling a bit defeated.

So, to Remus's surprise, Gil approached him the next day.

"Remus, right?" He asked. It was almost odd to hear his voice. How genuine it sounded when he wasn't on the stage. "I wanted to thank you for coming to the show personally."

"Oh," he blushed. He bit his lip for just a moment to try and calm his nerves. "Yeah, of course. I love the arts. And besides, you were really able to capture the romantic that Lysander was. The scene where you convince Hermia to run off with you held so much passion. It really helped to frame the rest of the conflict moving forward." Gil smiled, looking Remus up and down and cocking his head to the side.

"You are just as nerdy as I thought you would be." he said. Remus flushed at his response and looked away as quickly as he could. "You should join the drama department."

"What?" He looked over at the boy perplexed by his proposition. He had only spoken to Gil once and suddenly, the monotony of his daily routine was disrupted. Remus considered it for a moment, but his face was still hot. He could feel Gil staring at him, the weight of an answer hung between them. "Honestly, I'm more of an observer. I know nothing about the technical merits of theater."

"Don't worry, I can teach you."

"But seriously, it's okay. You didn't say anything to offend me. I just give off that aura I guess. I've always been into literature, modern or classic, doesn't really matter. It's all that I really talk about most days. You know, plenty of people…" Remus would have continued with his nervous blabbering had Sirius not climbed up the stairs and looked him dead in the eye. He didn't realize that at some point, he had averted his gaze and was looking instead at the railing of the stairs. He was out of focus, but with Sirius staring back at him, he couldn't look away.

"You don't have to lie to me. I'm not sure if you realize, but you stopped talking for a moment." Remus felt a wave of confusion rush over him. He thought he had been talking this whole time. It certainly felt like he had. "I get that it may not be an insult to you, Remus. But as I tell Harry, there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself." Sirius put the suitcases down and placed a hand on Remus's shoulder. "I'm a grown man. I can take a scolding without getting offended."

Remus wanted to hate the fact that this complete stranger was so gentle with him. So willing to accept that he somehow made a mistake, even though he wasn't insulted. Not entirely. No, the memory of a love a lifetime ago filled his senses. With all of its flaws, it only caused him to realize how alone he was without Tonks. He didn't speak to anyone his age. In fact, aside from his students and Rosa, he didn't exactly talk to anyone else. He barely spoke to the cashier at the grocery store he went to. Remus wanted to hate Sirius.

What he was feeling however wasn't hate. It was a different beast altogether.

"Please believe me when I say, you didn't insult me. I was just caught off guard." He said, "Do you really think I'm that big of a nerd?" Sirius looked Remus up and down.

"I mean… I don't know. Seems to me you have a lot more to offer."

"Come off it. It was all I had."

"Seriously? So does that mean your entire wardrobe is just suits." Sirius's smile was playful as he picked up the suitcase again by the frayed handle.. "Do you sleep in a three piece, Remus?"

"How else would a professor get ready for work?" Remus said. He almost sounded like he meant it, but the short laugh at the end made it clear.

"You're so dedicated to your work." He said, walking backwards down the hall. "You must teach me your ways."

Remus saw Sirius bite the corner of his lip and with a soft smile before turning his attention back to the apartment. Remus was grateful that Harry had wandered into the hall and wrapped his arms around Sirius's leg. He couldn't help the heat that rushed to his face. The little boy laughed brightly as he pulled Sirius into the living room. He was bouncing up and down as they went inside. Harry had made something that resembled a nest. Pillows and blankets were strewn everywhere. His stuffed animals scattered across the mound on the floor. Without hesitating, Sirius tossed the suitcase to the side and took Harry into his arms before falling backwards into the comfiest looking pile. Their laughter echoed through the hall as Remus stood at the mouth of the door.

There was something so gentle about the way they were together. Sirius had a very childlike glint in his eyes as he tickled the moppy haired boy. Remus felt like he was interrupting a moment between father and son. He considered leaving, but Harry shoved Sirius's face to get out of his grip. He crawled out of the flurry of decorative pillows and towards Remus. Tiny fists balled up what little fabric he had available at his height and tugged.

"Hold on, hold on." He said, placing the boxes down on top of a coffee table pressed against a wall. Remus figured he would try the same thing Sirius did. He grabbed Harry and fell back onto the warmest cloud he could possibly imagine.

"Again! Again." The young boy begged.

"What about Snuffles house? You haven't finished his little home yet."

"He said break time now." He turned to the stuffed bear "Right, Snuffles?"

"Fine, but I'm only doing this again because Snuffles said it was okay." He said, scooping up Harry and doing it again. Harry had the widest grin on his face. Sirius did this another two times while Remus laid on the soft mound.

Remus had never considered himself to have fatherly instincts. In fact, the idea of raising a child terrified him. He knew what to do and how much time and attention they needed, he just wasn't sure he was capable of being someone a child could depend on. Watching Sirius play with Harry made him wonder if he could ever get there. He has always been a rather detached person, even in his relationships. He worried that if he became important in someone's life, they would eventually realize he was a burden in their life. That now they had to find a way to deal with him. So he never let his emotions get the best of him, but at the cost of keeping people out.

When he was younger and away from home for the first time, he had lost control. He was all over the place and he knew he was responsible for a great deal of heartbreak and frustration. His parents had alway told him what to do, how to behave, what they expected. When he went to university however, they weren't there to guide him anymore. He was set loose. It was liberating, and terrifying at the same time. He remembered that during his schooling, he almost got expelled. His parents got involved in his life again and he was back to structure and order.

Remus knew he couldn't be trusted to take care of people. He could barely take care of himself.

He looked over to Sirius and he could see how enamoured he was. His holding Harry above him making plane noises. He leaned back and forth, his attention entirely on Harry. Remus knew that Sirius would do anything for his son. Remus was overwhelmed with a sudden need to run. Like a feral animal trapped in a cage. He knew he had exhausted what little social battery he had left today.

"I should get going soon." Remus said out loud, hoping his voice was steady enough that the man didn't realize anything was wrong.

"Oh right, you must have work in the morning." He responded, placing Harry down in between them and sitting up. "I think the only thing left is the couch."

Remus sat up and took a deep breath before forcing himself to stand. He placed his hands on his back and stretched before offering a hand to Sirius. Remus pulled the man to his feet and they made quick work of the ugly, green thing. Before they knew it, the couch was set against the left hand wall and the place was slowly starting to take shape. Sirius and Harry were officially his neighbors.

"Don't forget, dinner is on us tomorrow." Sirius said as he plopped Harry on top of the cushions of the couch and handed him Snuffles. "8 o'clock sharp."

"I wouldn't miss it." Remus said with as much of a smile as he could muster. Remus walked across the hall and fumbled through his pockets for his apartment key, desperate to hide inside his apartment. He needed to call Tonks.