Chapter 3: Gut Punch

The next few weeks go by in a blur. Thankfully, without a repeat of a day like their first, both Lucy and Jackson begin to fully enjoy their freedom as P2s, and the karaoke night that ensues to celebrate Nolan finally joining them is one for the books. It just feels right that all 3 of them have finally hit this critical milestone in their journey together, plus, though she would never tell him this, Lucy is glad they no longer have to deal with Nolan's sulkiness about being left behind.

Grey keeps them on a pretty constant rotation of partners, and Lucy enjoys the variety of getting to work with so many different people and styles; it's a stark contrast against a year of riding almost exclusively with Tim. And though the variety is interesting and seems to make the shifts go by faster, she does miss the consistency and familiarity of working with a single dedicated partner. Of working with Tim, though she is not quite ready to admit to herself that the slight longing feeling in her core that tugs at her whenever she thinks of him is anything more than her just missing his presence in her life after being such a large part of her routine during a formative time in her training.

Since their tense conversation about his new Rookie, she hasn't seen much of him outside of a few casual run-ins at the station. And even those have been different. Somehow more formal. Like neither is quite willing to let their guard down or crack a joke in fear of completely missing each other yet again. And it sucks. The void Lucy feels when she thinks of how rapidly things have shifted between them is painful.

Jackson asks her about it one evening at the apartment, "Have you seen much of Tim, lately?"

Lucy feels her face fall immediately, before quickly moving to cover it up, unwilling and maybe even unable to address how disappointed she is in how things have devolved between them since their last shift together. Jackson's face softens as Lucy swallows before responding, "No. Not really. But I guess that's to be expected. Tim's not exactly the type to buddy up with his former Rookies."

"That sucks," Jackson offers sympathetically, "I know how much he - I mean - that relationship meant to you."

Lucy shrugs, "Things change. Gotta keep moving forward, I guess," she says, throwing out the unintentionally callous turn of phrase Tim had offered her in their last conversation. "Anyway, let's talk about something else - how are things going with Angela's wedding planning?"

As Jackson dives into the latest wedding planning debacle, Lucy finds herself realizing that she is jealous of how easy and uncomplicated things are between him and Angela. They forged a lasting bond, even with Angela having to bow out of Jackson's training early, and the deep care and respect between them is clearly evident any time the two of them interact.

She would have thought, with everything she and Tim had gone through during her Rookie year, that it would have been the two of them that had forged the unbreakable bond. But instead, the incessant push and pull dynamic between them that had characterized their time together had somehow fallen out of sync. Lucy pushing when Tim was pulling, and vice versa.

She tunes back in to hear Jackson saying, "...so she asked him to be her Man of Honor and help wrangle everyone in both of their families."

Lucy's eyebrows shoot up, "Tim?! Man of Honor?! In Angela's wedding?!" She bursts into laughter, "Now that I would pay good money to see."

"Well I'm sure his hands are pretty full with his new Rookie, who, by the way, looked ready to piss his pants the other day, in case you were still worried about Tim going soft on him, and now this whole Man of Honor thing." Jackson flashes her a knowing smile, "Maybe he could use some help."

Lucy shrugs his suggestion off with a laugh and a noncommittal, "Maybe…" But the idea is still circling in her mind as she drifts off to sleep later that night.

It's as if fate itself intervenes the next day, when Tim finds Lucy pummeling the punching bag in the gym after shift. Even Tim doesn't bother trying to suppress his smile when their gazes meet, both clearly excited to have stumbled upon each other.

He smiles more tentatively as he approaches her, "You're not pretending that bag is me, Boot, are you?"

She laughs, taking a break from the bag, and returning his smile, "Maybe a little…"

He laughs back, and then angles his head toward the floor mats, "Why not take a shot at the real thing then?"

She nods enthusiastically, "You're on, Bradford."

At first the sparring is casual, circling each other, throwing occasional light jabs in the other's direction, but mostly taking advantage of the opportunity to catch up. Lucy can't contain her laughter as Tim details his harrowing experiences thus far as 'Man of Honor'. "Do you have any idea how many options there are for centerpieces? Don't even get me started on floral arrangements and table settings. If I never hear the words votive and trousseau again, it won't be soon enough." Tim huffs, "Biggest scam I've ever seen."

Despite his complaints, there's something undeniably sweet about how deeply he's ingrained himself in every aspect of the process so that Angela can stay above the fray this far into her pregnancy. Lucy pauses, stepping back to look at him, "You're a good friend, Tim."

His lips curve upward just slightly indicating he's pleased to have received the compliment, but in typical Tim Bradford fashion, he quickly changes the subject, "So you want to keep pussyfooting around or do you want to actually do this?" he asks, raising his hands. Lucy, never one to turn away from a challenge, steps back into her fighting stance, raising her hands in response.

As the intensity of their sparring ramps up, Lucy appreciates that he doesn't take it easy on her. Consistent with his training approach, he doesn't give a damn that she's a girl or half his size, and she revels in it, loving that even though she isn't necessarily able to pack the same punch as him, she can most definitely use her speed and agility to wear him down.

She's not sure how long she is able to evade his attempts to get hold of her, but they are both drenched in sweat and breathing heavily by the time Tim manages to pin her, restraining her arms as he pulls her into him, her back to his front. As she attempts to wriggle out of his hold, she suddenly becomes aware of just how intimate the situation sound of their heavy breathing audible in the deserted gym, Lucy can feel the rise and fall of his chest against her back. Can feel the cording of his arm muscles against her skin as they strain to keep her in place. Can feel their sweat intermingling on each other's skin.

"What'd I tell you about keeping your hands up, Boot?" he finally gasps out, ready to assume victory. But before he can complete his gloating, Lucy leverages a move Harper taught her to knock him off of his footing, but Tim, being Tim, isn't going to go down without taking her with him. Despite her best efforts to twist out of his grip, they both go crashing down to the mat, Tim exhaling a brief, "Oof" as she topples down on top of him.

For a moment, it's silent, except for the sound of their labored breathing as they stare at each other. At first his arms are still tight around her, holding her in place, but as they gradually loosen, she is hyper-aware of his fingers trailing over her back. My God he's beautiful, Lucy finds herself thinking as she is unable to tear her eyes away from his, Even his pores are attractive.

"You planning to stay there all night, Boot?" Tim finally asks, amusement flickering through his eyes.

Lucy mentally shakes herself, "Nope… just wanted to make sure you're clear on who ended up on top here." Her cheeks redden slightly as she plays back her words in her mind.

And Tim's eyes are twinkling as that telltale half smirk of his makes an appearance, "Consider me perfectly clear on that, Lucy."

And then they are both cracking up together as she finally manages to roll off of him.

As they towel off and pack up their gear, Lucy realizes how happy she is, feeling lighter than she has in weeks, and hopeful they might be well on their way to getting back in sync.

She turns to him tentatively, briefly debating whether she should bring this up, but giving in to the part of her that had wanted to immediately call him when she'd gotten the news. "So, I - I'm getting the chance to go undercover again."

Tim freezes, starting at her, "What? You're a P2."

"Well, yeah - it's just the cover I played before, the Chemist. They want to use me for one more operation. Nyla and June put in a good word for me, so they are bringing me in," she is beaming, unable to contain her excitement.

Tim sighs, "Are you serious?"

Her smile falters, "Of course. Why would I joke about this?"

"I don't know, Lucy. I just- I don't get it. You saw firsthand what happened to Isabel. What happened to Mack. For God's sake, what happened to Nyla. What is going through that head of yours that makes you think this is a good idea, that anything good is going to come from this?"

Lucy is floored. Of course she hadn't expected Tim would be overjoyed about her going undercover. But after her last mission, after she had proven herself, and he had told her she had done a good job, she thought he would at least be happy that she was getting this opportunity to progress her career, even if it wasn't in an area he was particularly fond of.

She sighs heavily, as the light feeling of hope that they might finally be figuring it out dissipates, "Seriously, Tim? Why can't you just be supportive? What is it to you anyway if I decide to pursue undercover? Like you said, we've gotta keep moving forward, and this is what I want to do."

She's right. What difference is it to me whether or not she does UC work? She's not my Rookie anymore.

His eyes are flashing, but he battles to keep the frustration out of his voice, "You're right. I don't - I thought - never mind. This is clearly something you don't value my opinion on, so do what you want."

She deflates immediately, "That's not -"

He holds up a hand to stop her and takes a deep breath, not wanting to fight with her over this, not after it finally felt somewhat normal between them again, "That came out wrong. I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll be great, Lucy. Good luck."

She gives him a half-hearted smile and nod, before turning to head to the locker room.

He sighs, mentally kicking himself for managing to ruin a perfectly good evening between them in a matter of minutes. He knows deep down that his real hang up with UC work stems from what happened with Isabel. What he doesn't understand is why the idea of Lucy going down the same path is so terrifying for him. They are completely different people. There's nothing to indicate that Lucy would make the same mistakes as Isabel, or even the same mistakes as Nyla or Mack. Why can't I just be more supportive?