A/N - I had no intentions of updating, but as I was reading over the prompts I received, and after having re read this, I couldn't leave well enough alone.
Guest, on April 21st you suggested Elsa taking Anna to Ahtohallan, and then the Cave appearing to the pair of them. Apologies for attending to this suggestion so so late, but I've finally found a place for it and I truly feel it would fit in this fic.
I want to thank each and every one of you for your reviews on this fic.
Apricot - Such a detailed review! I love your take, thank you so much I'm so glad you liked it!
Angelina38 - Thank you for ever so frequent reviews, I'm so glad you enjoyed this fic. My best work yet? That is such a compliment, really, and truly, thank you!
Guest - rich in emotion is what i aim for! Thank you thank you thank you!
matjojo - Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Guest - It feels like something that would happen unintentionally for sure, she tries, bless. Thank you!
Lara Yuumara - Thank you so so much! Your reviews never fail to make me smile!
Dawnfinch - Best story I've written? Damn, seriously thank you that means the world.
queenfixerupper - thank you so so so much as always! Bittersweet endings are what I do best haha
Lets all agree, if this chapter ain't it, to ignore it lol
It turns out freedom means nothing but missing you
The days and weeks following were as excruciating as that night, but silently so. There was still so much that had been left unsaid, at least it seemed that way to the older sister. Anna was distant, and it was becoming more and more obvious that she wasn't making any progress to getting her old self back, it sent Elsa into heartbreak.
The heaviness of Anna's heart and gravity didn't mix well, she retreated to the sofa letting the day pass by. Once upon a time, the younger sister would spin around the halls, in a long, floaty, bright dress. Images of the world turning in time with her flashed through her mind. But her world had stopped long ago, and her life was stuck on pause ever since. As long as it takes. That was what Elsa had said. The tiniest part of her wished she hadn't said it at all, she had naively put trust in that Anna would soon be her effervescent self. The opposite was becoming more prominent, the environment around them was literally dying without her light. No, Elsa was never much of a green-thumb. For someone who wore gloves for years, digging into the ground with her bare hands to salvage some plants wasn't how she imagined her day going, but they were Anna's favourites.
Mindlessly, Elsa replanted the flowers - The Blåveis. Blue petals accompanied by white stamens, Anna had fallen in love with them the moment she saw them, excitedly dragging Elsa out to the fields of which they resided. "They look like snowflakes, Elsa!" She had exclaimed. On that spring morning, Elsa had realised that Anna was well and truly her biggest fan, and quite possibly loved her magic more than she did. She was committed to this flowerbed, going as far as to timetable tending to them - in her self-awareness that the name Anna, and the words, time management were rarely praised of, or associated with one another.
"Ma'am, we've had more letters arrive." Elsa turned to the doorway, confusion flashed across her face. Gerda continued, "Forgive me, the Princess asked that we put them to one side for the time being - only now we're not sure where your majesty would like them. The box is overfilling." Guilt was written all over Gerda, she cared about Anna as much as Elsa did, having had a hand in their care growing up, she was like their second mother. Elsa didn't need to ask why this issue had been brought to her attention, the younger sister barely noticed anything these days. "We didn't think she'd want any of them to be thrown out."
Letters? What letters? Swallowing her uncertainty, Elsa stood, eyeing the series of envelopes, each and every one with their address handwritten, all meant for Anna. "Thank you, Gerda. I'll take these" She said, brushing her hands clumsily on her dress before taking them. She was the picture of how topsy turvy the world had become. The Queen, of all people would never been seen in the state she was, taking on the Princess' jobs, and knee deep in dirt. Dismissing herself to her chambers, hastily changing into a clean purple dress, Elsa began to thumb through the envelopes. Opening them felt like such an invasion of privacy, these were for Anna, and her alone. The younger sister had spent years building a personal relationship with them, in many ways she was Arendelle's confidant. But equally, she felt it was her duty. Anna was often the one to update her on the goings on of the kingdom, and she wasn't able to do it anymore. Anna had on many occasions took the bearing of extra jobs to help Elsa in her own emotional turmoil. This was her chance to return the favour.
Etched on every page was pain, people asking for Anna's advice, for her comfort. Others, were simply invites to their family meals, because they missed her. See, Anna's absence was widespread. It created shockwaves across the kingdom, the heart was missing. The love was lost. Each and every person in Arendelle could recount a tale to do with Anna, a day that made them smile, how she lifted spirits. For many, it was the first time they ever felt truly heard. It needn't matter what Anna had scheduled that day, she would drop it all to listen to someone who needed to share what was on their mind. She revolved her days around them, making space for them to feel in the safety of her heart. She had touched so many lives. It was not lost on Elsa that this was beginning to affect more than herself.
Answering on her behalf was a conundrum. She couldn't replicate Anna's heartfelt responses, her way with words was so unique to her. Arendelle would simply see through right through it. Plus, would they be happy with her answering? Helping Anna meant breaking the agreement of confidentiality made between the princess and whomever wrote the letter. Yes, Anna told Elsa so much, but it was usually in blanket statements of how people generally felt. If - on the off chance a particular situation was discussed, she never mentioned who it was.
No, this was too personal. She would have to check.
She was just where she expected her to be. Creaking, and groaning, Elsa timidly entered the room, having just been met with a shut door. The tables had well and truly turned. "Anna?" She called,
"It's not just me that's missing you, it seems." Elsa pulled out the letters from behind her.
"I'll answer soon, Elsa." Anna said dismissively, "Can you just put them somewhere for now? Please?" She asked, her eyes stayed fix on the window panes, the outside winds forcing a rhythmic tapping of a branch from the large tree that Anna had climbed up as a child.
"I suppose they could sit beside the other pile of letters that are also waiting for your attention." It was a sny remark, but she hoped that Anna would at least look at her. It worked, earning a deathly glare from Anna, "I could answer them, for you - if you'd like." Elsa offered, unsure of how well she could fulfil that request should Anna agree. Anna shrugged, which only bothered Elsa further. A yes, that would mean Anna realised how long she had left them without response. A no, Anna was still choosing to answer, she just couldn't at this moment. Nonchalance, however, wasn't on the cards. Thrown off guard, Elsa examined the scene before her. Anna was wearing the same clothes she had for the past 3 days, it had taken some stern comments from Gerda and Kai to get her to change. The sofa she had sunken into was at this point, well worn in. It felt like a crime scene, and Anna was the body left behind in the chaos. Everything around her remained mostly untouched. On the rare occasion she did, Anna was a ghost roaming around the halls. Merely an echo of a vibrant soul that once skipped down the hallways venturing towards the next grand event.
The truth was, Anna was also thrown sideways. The conversation - well, argument - that ensued should have been a turning point. If blood coursing through her veins didn't bring her to life then anger would. Aside from both sisters being aware of each others stances, nothing had changed. The nightmares never ended, they continued punishing her mind into the early hours of the morning. Only now, Elsa was sat by her side through it all, still attempting to talk it out. After all this time, it should have come as a clue that talking would never be enough. And so, she fell silent. Tired of going round in circles, tired of regurgitating every horrifying image that flashed in her mind of that day in The Cave. She could never see the world quite the same after that. Olaf especially, it was a sense of uneasiness that unearthed in the pit of her stomach whenever she was around him. One side of her wanted to hug him, and never let him go. The other wanted to keep him out of her sights, his happy demeanour and poor attempts at humour made her question sometimes whether it had even happened at all.
But the main question that she was left with, was how was she the only one still reeling from it all?
How could any of them move on like they had?
That's what Elsa had tried, we can't keep doing this, Anna.
Here and now, that's what we need to focus on.
There's a fine line between being heard and being listened to. Elsa had, merely heard Anna out before throwing out some casual statement about diverting her focus from the past. As if it was that easy. It was rich, coming from Elsa especially, who build a whole fucking ice palace in her bid to run from the past. She topped it all off with a proposal of charades, after having drabbled on about the physics of waves and likelihood of their deaths had they had gone together. No, amazingly Anna didn't feel any better after their conversation. What she did take from it, was permission to feel her feelings. There was no use in shouting, or hating Elsa. Despite the encouragement to do so, it felt pretty pointless. Because her words wouldn't sting. Arguing with Elsa was like fighting a brick wall, she would only hurt herself in the process of every word firing back to her, leaving Elsa - the poised, elegant and sophisticated queen - unaffected. Her years of practise of hiding her feelings and made her out of tune, whilst the strings of Anna's heart snapped under the increasing pressure to get both hearts feeling. Elsa did indeed feel, but she rarely showed it. Especially when it most necessary.
So her hopes were crushed. The one time she and Elsa truly had a heart to heart, and this was the ending result. She would have to figure it out for herself, but she didn't know how.
"Anna, I'm worried about you." Elsa spoke gently, sitting on the table beside Anna. It was as close as the layout of the room would allow her. "This..." Elsa's eyes searched the room around her. It was so grey, so stuffy. "This isn't like you." When they made eye contact, her last statement only grew clearer. That sparkle was no where in sight, they were lifeless, weary eyes that had seen too much at such a young age. "I shouldn't have let it get like this.." Elsa mumbled exasperatingly, talking mostly to herself. She failed again, waiting. She was always waiting. She had done it before, she should have learnt. "I should have come to you sooner, Anna I'm so sorry." She reached out to Anna, taking her hands into her own. "We can fix this, together."
"Fix this?" Anna drew back, her head turned slightly, but her eyes stayed on Elsa. It was piercing, it was shock and you've got to be fucking kidding me. "You want to pay attention now?" She laughed scornfully, shaking her head, Anna buried herself deeper into the sofa, pulling a blanket up to her chest. She wanted to be held, she wanted Elsa to hug her and tell it would be okay. But it all felt so wrong, and she was getting so many mixed signals. She had been dealing with this feeling for weeks, the confusion was eating her up inside. Every time she saw Elsa she felt guilty, a pang in her heart that killed the neglected child that had so long lived inside her. It was a disservice to all those years she waited outside her door. She couldn't pinpoint it, not then. But now she understood.
Why did she have to suffer so much in order for Elsa to help her?
It was their way of life. Anna was always on high alert for any signs of struggle in Elsa, but the alarm bells were silenced on her end. Elsa never noticed, not until it was much too late. Of course, she didn't have nearly as much practise at reading people, but she was her sister. She was convinced, that Elsa would happily skip through each traumatic event and and go on to the next thing, it was Anna that made them stop, pause and truly take in what they went through. It was Anna who dedicated time into acknowledging that pain. The Cave, Elsa hadn't been there, there was no need for her to stop. So instead Anna was helplessly grasping at everything she could, begging for everyone to wait for her, to not leave her behind. But they had, every games night that was scheduled, every happy greeting made in the halls. Kristoff, and Elsa weren't there so they could never understand, and words were simply not enough.
"Anna, what?" The words ran like venom through her blood stream, her face flushed with worry, concern and hurt. It reverberated through her chest, an arrow to the heart. Had she not been paying attention? No.. no..she was giving her time. They talked about it, she knew how Anna felt. She checked in with Anna nightly for her nightmares, she routinely made glasses of water, and sat by her bed come early morning, comforting her as dawn broke. She was there, she loved her with every fibre of her being. Was she not doing enough? How could she not be doing enough? How dare she not do enough. "What.. how do you mean?" She swallowed her pride. Readying herself for the incoming spitfire that Anna was going to fire.
A/N - It appears that just like last time, I've got carried away. Was only intending to write one more chapter but hey, we haven't even reached Ahtohallan or The Cave yet, so. That'll be soon.
Now idk if I should've wrote more chapters to this, but the way I see it is that chapter 2 is a pretty good conclusion in of itself, this is merely a bonus. Just exploring an idea. Thank you Guest! This fic is being changed from completed, to incomplete x
I hope you enjoyed!