A Deadly Game and a Secret
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: This is one story I've seen requested but never read a completed fic before. Rick has been recalled to active duty; the Hamptons are just his guise to hide the true story. The only ones who know the truth are Gina and Roy. Based loosely off 2-24, A Deadly Game, for the beginning then completely AU.
Also, we take MANY liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events from other Canon episodes to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Chapter 3
Beckett's Apartment
Sunday, 1:17 AM
/_/
Kate awoke with her mouth feeling like it had been stuffed with cotton, and her head, God, what the hell did she drink. She opened her eyes, all the lights were still on, and the stereo was playing an old song from her Mom and Dad's time, For Your Precious Love. She started to move and saw the legal pad and her stationary sitting next to her. She glanced down to read Dear Rick, that was it, she must have passed out from the wine shortly after getting set up to write him the letter.
She flipped the remote to shut the music off, the last positive thing she remembered was Friday evening when Rick walked out of the precinct with Gina. She must have started drinking Saturday morning and tied a good one on, she did remember that everyone in the precinct was angry at her, from Captain Montgomery to even her staunchest of defenders Lanie.
It started to come back to her slowly as she stumbled into the bathroom and swallowed 5 Advil tablets and gulped down a cold bottle of water. She remembered that she had kept herself busy most of the day, shopping, thinking of Rick, cleaning the house, thinking of Rick, cleaning her refrigerator out, finally, and thinking of Rick. It must have been in the evening last night she decided to write the letter, after finishing the bottle of wine by herself, ah so that's the headache, I don't have a too moor as Arnold said in that movie.
She decided the best course of action, at least for now was to go to bed and led the Advil work, hopefully, she had caught the making of a very bad hangover in the nick of time and could avoid the upchucking that usually followed.
She stumbled to her bed, without turning on the light, light hurt her eyes, as she fell into bed. She was greeted with something stiff and hard, and after pulling it from between the sheets, it was an earlier book that Rick had written, and her Mom actually stood in line to get his autograph, just like the rest of the fangirls.
A tear came to her eye as she recalled kidding her mom and dad about her waiting over an hour to see her favorite author, Johanna replied, "I would have waited all night, and he was definitely worth it Katie. So very nice, not full of himself, and he listened to me. Too bad you couldn't bring home a nice man like that" she paid her back for the kidding.
She knew very well that she had gotten dumped by Brad Decker just last year, well him and Maddie who provided his relief for his sexual fluid backup, to hell that he was her best friend's promised boyfriend, Maddie got laid and that's what Maddie wanted. Kate wiped a tear from her eye, as she remembered the good times with her Mom, the kidding, she definitely would have been impressed with Rick.
That and mad as hell for the way which he was treated, another one mad at her, and Mom wasn't even here anymore. She could still see the finger in her face and Katherine Houghton Beckett, you were raised better her signature line. She clutched the book to her breast and fell into a troubled sleep, guilty souls never had peace as her Mom always said.
XxX
Hamptons Beach House
Following Friday, 7:00 AM
Rick awoke to see the sun just beginning to peek in the curtains he and Gina never took the time to close last night, it was their last night together before he had to return to the city. First on his list when he got home was to get his little girl on her flight to Paris for her one-year exchange student studies at the Kingsworth International School, a very prestigious International Business school. He couldn't believe it, she would be away from home for a full year, not even returning for holidays.
He winced as he thought of that, then saw Gina standing by the bed, with his coffee and two aspirins.
"I thought you might need these; I know I did when I woke up. I'm not complaining but Rick, I'm sore in spots I forgot even existed, I hope our last night was as special for you as it was for me." She kissed his forehead and sat down the coffee and pills. "Look, I know the week is over and we agreed that we're free to do what we want, but Rick, please be careful, please." She begged as tears begin to fall down her cheek,
"Hey, hey, come here, what's the matter?" she laid down beside him as he cuddled her, and kissed her tears away.
"Stop remembering the last time I was on active duty, Gina, I don't plan on staying in Germany to get well before coming home this time." He said as he brushed the hair out of her face, "I can't promise, you know if I got recalled we're in deep shit over there, so just stay strong, for you, for our little girl.
"She needs you Genes, more than you know or she'll let on. She's acting all grown up but I bet she's so homesick she will be ready to come home in a week." He said as he kissed her gently,
"Rick, do we have time, I mean, can" suddenly his mouth was on hers, and she got her going away present, it was sweet, tender, and full of loving touches this time. It was a session of making love she would remember forever, as she lay on his chest, catching her breath afterward,
"I know we have to leave, so everything is all set, the car is packed except for your suitcase, and well, I need to shower again if I don't want to smell like sex in front of your daughter in a few hours." She smiled, kissed him, and walked to the guest bathroom without her robe. She gave Rick a picture that his mind could remember all the lonely nights, at least that was her plan.
The ride home was quiet, as she sat as close to him as she could, never letting go of his hand. He had his arm around her pulling her into him as close as he could, neither saying a word, both knowing the crystals in the hourglass had almost finished draining to the other side.
Rick stopped the car at a roadside stand, turned her head, and kissed her passionately, "Gina, I want you to know that this week was special, neither one of us can promise anything, so just know that I do love you. I know you love me, and my family, but we'll have to see what happens before we can go any farther.
"I know it would be so easy to slip back into our status as a couple, but I think we both know it didn't work for a reason. When I'm gone, PLEASE, don't put on your chastity belt and live your life imitating a nun. Live life, all of it, and if you meet someone, then go for it Gina, for me. I won't feel so guilty if I know we're on the same page.
"I have no idea of what I will be doing, or who will cross my path, but I want you to know, even though I love you, I am going to pursue someone IF I think I have a shot at forever. Please promise me you'll do the same, it doesn't mean you don't love me, just the opposite, you love me enough for YOU to be happy.
"Don't live the rest of your life waiting for weekends, or even weeks stolen away like we just did. I think we both needed closure, and healing from the nastiness of the divorce. Thank you for loving me, for showing me every day, but now it's time to keep our agreement, no strings attached. OK?" He said, quietly and sadly, knowing this could be his final farewell to a woman he loved, and who loved him, just not enough to make it in the world of husband and wife.
"OK, Rick, I promised, and you kept yours so I'll keep mine. Thank you for a week I will never forget, no matter what happens. I would trade every week since our honeymoon as your wife for one week like you just gave me. Thank You, love, please be careful." She kissed him passionately then turned her head as Rick drove the final miles to the loft and out of her life for who knows how long if ever.
XxX
Beckett's Apartment
Previous Monday, Memorial Day 9:17 AM
Kate had recuperated from her side effects from the almost full bottle of wine, and slept most of the day, yesterday Sunday. She woke up this morning with intentions to finish the letter to Rick then prepare for work tomorrow. After three days off, she was sure there would be plenty to keep her busy at work, she hoped busy enough to prevent her urge to keep staring at an ugly old chair that would never hold one Rick Castle again.
She had blown it, he hated her and had every right to, so now she had to live with the guilt of not only hurting Tom but also the lies she told Rick. She knew Tom was deeply hurt, especially when he figured out that he had been used to make Rick jealous, and really never stood a chance with her long term. Sure, she slept with him, hell everyone had needs, but even in that, she kept thinking about another man, who does that?
She had already gone for her run, showered, changed into her leisure clothes, cleaned the apartment, again, did laundry, again, and washed and waxed the floors. It was now only just after 9:00 AM so she had run out of artificial excuses to avoid writing the letter. It was time to sit down, and make things right, no matter how much it hurt. She closed her eyes, and once again saw Gina wrap her arm around Rick, well she opened the door, hell she drove him to her doorstep.
She glanced down at the yellow legal pad, two words, two fucking words, Dear Rick. Hell, she could have addressed it, occupant, for as much effort she had put into it so far, that had to change. She gathered the legal pad, her best writing pens, and a cup of strong black coffee, along with two more Advil tablets. A sip of coffee to wash the pills down and now it was time.
"Dear Rick,
"Where do I start? I can hear your voice in my head as soon as I wrote that saying 'most people usually start at the beginning, Detective', you're right. The beginning is not where you think it is, you probably think it was the book launch of Derrick Storm that you talked Gina out of suing us for.
"I never corrected you, but I stood in line for over two hours when I was a patrol officer, Mike Royce, God Bless his soul, covered for me because he knew how much you meant to me. That probably got you to spit out your coffee, yes Rick, you are my favorite writer, and you were Mom's as well.
"She was reading your novel when she was murdered and had tried forever to get me to read your books. When she was gone, I picked up the novel, to read trying to be close to her. Mom had an annoying habit of writing her own writers notes in the space between the paragraphs or side margins, annoying if you want to share the book with someone, but I read it through in one sitting.
"Mom's notes, your writing, and the story, of everlasting love, had me in tears before I finished A Rose for Everafter, by the way, Mom nailed it on the ending. It was almost as if you were sitting in front of us reading a journal of your life, then later we worked Kyra Blaine's case and I knew just how deeply into your soul you reached and shared with the readers.
"I saw the love you still had for her, and she for you, even on her wedding day. She loved you Rick, and I'm sorry things worked out the way they did, I felt your hurt, especially when we talked to Sheila Blayne.
"She couldn't have been more wrong, you have touched millions of people's hearts, mine, my mom's and so many more just with your words. You have a gift Rick, a true talent that I often derided when you did start shadowing me. I will confess this here, probably because I'm a coward, I was jealous of you and her when we worked that case. I knew, by reading your book your desire for a life partner, and she was everything you described, far more than I could ever offer you.
"I know now, looking back at the last several weeks when Tom Demming came to our team, just how badly I treated and allowed others to treat you. For that I can't say I'm sorry enough, I failed you as a friend, as the lead detective responsible for our team, and just as a human to treat you as you had always treated me. I am so very sorry Rick, if I could take back the barbs, the short words, the insults, and the hurt I would, please believe me.
"Now here comes the hard part, I know, with me everything is difficult, I make it hard for everyone around me. I can see that now, but well, this is going to be hard to say. The reason I was jealous of Kyra, it tore me apart to see the photos of the two of you kissing, why, because I love you if you haven't figured it out by now.
"I know, I know, how could anyone feel love when I'm with another man, putting you down, causing you pain, and I hate to admit it, but I tried to make you jealous by kissing Tom on the staircase. In fact, the whole time I was with him I kept wishing you would tell me you cared for me. We both know how that worked out, I think that was the day you stopped talking to me, well not altogether.
"You were courteous and answered questions, participated in conversations until it came to just you and me. You left my presence as soon as you could, and the few times I could corner you I got the courteous response of "No thank you Detective" when asked to go out for a drink or lunch.
"I got an inside look when Kyra left, she had a few moments alone with you, then stopped to tell me, "he's all yours" if only I had treated you that way. I longed for the days when you would look at me, the way you looked upon her. Even after all the hurt, you still love her, and well, she never stopped loving you but knew she lost the only opportunity she had for a life with you.
"That's where this is going Rick, I never let on, I never gave you a reason to, but I wanted you to want me so badly. I don't know why I did the things I did, stop, I'm sorry, that's a lie. The truth was I wanted you but I thought I wasn't good enough for you, so if I chased you away then I wouldn't have to make the decision. No matter how badly I treated you, you still were there, having my back, treating me like your best friend, until, Tom and the lie.
"I understand now, it was hurt, and I don't know what I can do to undo that, nothing that I know of. I guess what this is leading to is I'm asking you for a fresh start, a chance to be perfectly honest with you. I know my timing sucks, you and Gina looked like any couple in love, so if you're happy, then please just treat this as my sincere apology and best wishes for your happiness,
"I miss you, Rick, I miss you sitting in that funky chair, so please, come back, give me, us another chance. I promise you I won't let you down. I know it's hard for you to believe, I'm the one lying to you, and you have no reason to believe me. I know you gamble in Vegas, so please roll the dice on us, just once, don't give up on us Rick, please,
"Well, if you're still reading, I'm sorry this is so long, but if you read nothing else in this entire letter, read this I love you, Richard Castle, I want a chance to show you. I'll let you go, and if I don't hear back then I know it was too little and far too late, again I'm so sorry.
"Always,
Kate"
She proofread it quickly then began the tedious process to transfer it to the stationary. She knew he would recognize it immediately, he never forgot anything, it seemed. About an hour later she was satisfied, so she placed the pages in an envelope, and just labeled it "Rick". She would run by the loft tomorrow and hand-deliver it to Eduardo, he always forwarded the mail to where ever Rick was.
Satisfied with her work, she felt better, but still knew it would be a long shot if he acknowledged receipt much less answer her. Now she was all ready for work, so she did what any woman with a broken heart would do. She stayed off the booze since she had to work, but she placed the saddest playlist she had ever made on her CD Player, curled up with a pillow, and wept, for her, for Rick, for the hurt she knew she had caused to two men.
XxX
Castle's Loft
Following Friday, 11:00 AM
Rick and Gina had been back about forty-five minutes, sitting enjoying their cup of coffee, well Rick's coffee, Gina had her tea when they heard Alexis come whopping through the door. If she was homesick, she beat the Grammy award her Grams had won some years ago with her performance.
She was busy catching her Dad and Gina up on her week, and now she was counting down the hours until she left for her exchange student period. She excused herself to her room, with the excuse she had to double-check her packing to see if she had everything.
"Well, I guess I was wrong, she doesn't appear to be homesick at all," Rick said,
"She got the acting gene from Martha Rick, there were tears in her eyes when she hugged you. I'm going to try to talk to her for a minute, let her know it's OK, to be happy and sad at the same time." Gina said, Rick, pulled her back gently, and kissed her lips, "Thank you, you know she looks at you as her Mom, don't you?" Gina blushed, returned his kiss,
"I'll be right back," she said as she slowly pulled away from him.
She was upstairs with Alexis for about a half-hour, until they both returned, Rick knew they had been crying.
"Daddy, I don't know if I can do it, go that far away for an entire year, I mean I know Mom will take care of you, but, I"
"Pumpkin, this is something you've worked for your entire life, look, I won't kid you the first few weeks will be lonesome, but you have to bite down and make the best of it. You know our saying with great opportunity,"
"Comes great sacrifices, I know Daddy, but are you sure you're gonna be OK, teaching and touring while I'm gone" Alexis hugged him,
"As you said, Mom will be here to keep me straight, you go get ready and know that everything good comes with a cost, in this case, some time away from everyone and everything you're familiar with. It's a great start for life baby, I won't always be here, and well, if you're prepared, it'll make old Dad feel a lot better," he smiled as he kissed her head,
"OK Dad, Mom said that if I got too lonesome, she would fly over and spend some time with me, so as long as I know you'll be OK, I'll get ready, I'm going to miss you, Daddy," she said with one more hug,
"Me too, sweetie, me too," as he turned his head from Alexis and Gina walking up the stairs to bring down her luggage to hide the tears.
The security force was taking her to the Airport, Rick never wanted to put her in danger so they were saying goodbye at the loft, it proved to be harder than anyone thought.
She finally made it out the door after running and hugging Gina and Rick in a group hug, and whispering, "I love you both, take care of each other" and then she finally made it out the door,
Gina came over, not saying a word, and sat in Rick's lap, just holding him. She knew he just witnessed his world walking out the door and was hurting worse than he ever had before. His little girl had just grown up before his eyes,
TBC