Toucan Sam

Author's Note: tfw you feel disgust at yourself for actually laughing a little for once. Tfw it was your own fanfictions that made you chuckle a bit.

Toucan Sam awoke. He was hungover. He sighed and crawled off the makeshift bed he put together made of twigs and leaves. "Ugh, another day." He grabbed his work vest from off the floor and walked over to a mirror. He hated seeing himself in the mirror but forced himself in order to look presentable at the workplace.

Sighing again, he looked at his face. Wrinkles were forming. He was getting old. "At least I'm blue like Walmart… " He muttered. "Well, time to get to work."

At work, while he was scanning items, he heard Tony the Tiger and scowled. He taught himself to not be jealous of other people, but he couldn't help but feel envious of him. There he was surrounded by friends, pal'ing around, laughing heartily. Everything was "GREAT" for this fucking tiger. It must be nice to be happy. He wished he could be happy, too. He sighed and continued scanning items.

As a side hobby, he started up a YouTube channel. He felt that if maybe he had a following that he wouldn't feel lonely anymore. His channel has been up since 2019 and so far has been a failure. His nephews would tell him that there are other channels that have many subscribers, views, comments in a short period of time, but the content is lame while his own content is actually good.

He sighed. That was nice of them to say. He originally started his channel to make his sister and her friends laugh and to hopefully monetize and earn an income through AD revenue, but all his videos seem to do is either outrage or annoy. Additionally, he hates seeing his face. Much of his videos were just vlogs and him sobbing in a bathtub or having a nervous breakdown. He would jokingly tell his sis' "hah, any time I have a nervous breakdown, people should take a shot of tequila, but… that would cause alcohol poisoning." He and his sister shared dark humor.

He felt pathetic that he was still even trying. He would observe other channels trying to figure out how they got famous and how to better his own channel. Maybe it was because they bought advertisement? He can't afford that.

His train of thought was derailed when Tony the Tiger walked up to him and slapped his back. "Yo! Sammy! How's it going?"

Toucan Sam sighed. It was close to his break and he was scanning the last items of a customer in line. "Hey, Tony." He hated talking to him. He had trouble faking he was okay. "It's… going." He muttered in a flat voice. "Thanks for asking. How are you?"

"It's going GREAT!" Exclaimed the tiger.

"God damn it." Muttered Toucan Sam under his breath. "Fuck off, please."

At last, it was time for his break. He quickly left the register and ran over to the break room to unwind for a bit. He drank some coffee and sat at a table staring emptily into space.

After his break, he resumed the cashier. Thankfully no one was being too rude to him. He was in no mood to go about the Pigeon Treatment. Water began to pour down his eyes. "Crap." He thought. "NO, no not in public! Not in public!" He sighed and just decided whatever. He'll just let it happen. If someone complains about him then whatever.

No one noticed. If they did, they assumed it to be sweat.

Finally, it was time to clock out and he flew on home. He sighed and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He saw the milk in there and shut the door. "I'm doing this... for them." He sighed. "Also... cold beer."

He sat on the floor in the middle of the living room and activated his television to watch the news while drinking beer.

To be continued.