Cadpig is on the phone with Mooch again, "The whole time I was surrounded by old dogs wearing vizers who smelled like Yams." She says on the phone, "There was nowhere to lie down. There was nowhere to lie down. There was no bed. There was no kitchen."
As all the pups are getting their stuff out of the moving van. Beamer is standing by his truck watching, and Lucky looks at him in disturbance. "I have to experience my life with him again. Except this time its MUCH worse." He thought to himself.
Cadpig continues talking on the phone, "I know. No!-"
Spot gets a heavy suitcase out of the truck.
Cadpig says to Mooch, "I don't know what to tell you. There's like cows all over the place. Like Everywhere." She continues her chatter.
While then, Beamer finally goes up to them and greets Lucky first. "Well well well Lucky, Fancy seeing you again my favorite nephew!" He pleasingly says. "Uncle Beamer, this place better not have any of your kibble cocktails. No way in hell I am eating those again!" Lucky says in dismay.
"Oh! Don't you worry dear boy, food is delightful here! Your bro, sis, and chicken friend will love it! Says your Uncle Beamer Schitt!"
"Wait what? I thought Your name was Vandercreme." Lucky said confused.
"It was Lucky," said Beamer. "You see, Vandercreme was the last name given to me from my Step-Father. Then as the years passed, by law me and Coco agreed to have my birth name back thus granted Coco the same last name too, therefore we are now Schitt again!"
Lucky moans in annoyance. "Oh please fucking kill me!" he said to himself.
Rolly comes to his uncle. "So Uncle Beamer, so happy you manage to own a town created by your loved ones. Whoopity-doo!" he said in such sarcasm.
"Well well, I hope you get in such a diet while liviing here cause you'll certainly need it." Inclined Beamer. "I can't handle a fat nephew living in Schitt's Creek you know!"
"Uncle Beamer. Im not that fat!" directs Rolly.
"Either way Rolly. You eat too much!" says Beamer to Rolly. "If yall must also know, if you have an ass to kiss. Kiss mine!" Beamer says and laughs. Much to Lucky and Rolly's annoyance.
"I'm going to get yall squared away in the office there Lucky ok. You gals can grab your bags and yall follow me!" directs Beamer. "The gals can grab the bags." he said as he went inside the motel with Lucky behind him.
Rolly tasks Cadpig and Spot, "Girls, keep an eye on these bags. Apparently in hell theres no Bellman."
"Spot what are you-" Cadpig says to her but is cut off. "Shut up!" sasses Spot. Cadpig argues back with her. "YOU Shut up!" Spot says back, "YOU Shut up!" Cadpig comes back to her. "Um...YOU Shut up!" "I said Shut up first so SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHUT UP!" Spot says in final.
Lucky is now in front of CoCo's desk. "So were Dearly Aunt Coco!" Says Lucky by Beamer standing by his side. "Well Lucky as our merciful nephew, as happy as I am to see you and your sibling friends here, I don't seem to see a reservation under that name." CoCo says.
Beamer then says, "Oh its okay CoCo, I set aside two rooms for them." CoCo said, "Well there's nothing here." Beamer said. "Okay fine just book them in with two rooms. After all they are our neice and nephews."
Rolly is standing behind Lucky and Beamer. He says, "Uh, we will need three rooms minimum." Beamer told Rolly, "Oooooooo no can do Rolly." Rolly sighed. Beamer tells Lucky. "Look, we have a one-room comp policy here, and I am personally throwing in an extra room out of sheer decency, so..."
"Well what about suites, do you have a couple of suites?" asks Lucky. Beamer is amused by Lucky. "This guy." He says. CoCo tells Lucky. " Um... no. Uh, this is a motel, so we cater more to off-road truckers and drunk teen-pups."
Rolly is so anxious about getting a room. "Please, someone just give me a key, to a door, to a room, any room. I just want a bathtub, a long extension cord, and some kibble cause I'm very hungry." He begs.
"Rolly, Me as your Aunt and Beamer as your Uncle, I must say you can certainly get a room. But I'm afraid we won't have any choice but to put you on your diet. In case you forgot we are in charge of yall now." Orders Coco to Rolly. Rolly moans and groans in hunger. "No CoCo, he hasn't changed much either." Lucky says to CoCo.
Beamer takes the puppies and Spot to their rooms. "Shoom!" he makes noise to as he opens the door. "There ya go Rolly." He leads Rolly inside.
As they all get inside, Lucky is disgusted already and says, "It smells like a gym bag." Rolly then asks, "Does anyone else feel light headed?" Cadpig and Spot are just so speechless about it all.
"Ah yes! Takes me back to high school days. You know I did the deed in just about every room in this place. Yep, if a forensic team came in here with one of those blue lights, this place would just light up!" Says Beamer all thrilled.
"Okaaaaay. That's great Uncle Beamer." says Lucky in sarcasm. Cadpig and Spot just mutter at their Uncle's words.
"Oh hey there ya Rooster. The other rooms right there." Beamer says to Spot as he tosses over the key to her.
A little butthurt about the misunderstanding *bucawk* "Okay first of all, I'm a CHICKEN, not a ROOSTER. Thank you very Much! Second can you do me a favor and not throw things at me again?" says Spot.
Beamer then says, "Oh well firstly I apologize for that mam. Second, You really were supposed to catch it. I tossed it at you. Did it really look like anything like I threw it. Hmmmm?"
"Eeeegh" Spots disgusted and picks up the key to her and Cadpig's room.
Beamer then lays down on what is Lucky and Rolly's bed. "And there's the bed. I should probably...pull off that cover and...burn it!" Rolly says as he sees hes laying on him and Lucky's bed, and that hes doing to get his uncles germs on both of them. Beamer then gets up and says, "Alright!"
Lucky then says, "Okay! Uncle Beamer Thank you very Much. I appreciate everything uh..." However Lucky sees that his Uncle has picked up their remote and turns on the TV and watches Thunderbolt.
"Ummmmm... Okay so you ARE a fan of Thunderbolt. I don't know why you and Aunt CoCo refused to watch it with me over at the mansion." Says Lucky all confused. Rolly folds his arms wondering what his uncle thinks hes doing.
In Cadpig and Spot's room, Cadpig is back on the phone with Mooch again constantly saying, "Okay...Okay...Okay...Okay" Spot looks back at her shrugging up her arms wondering why shes still talking to Mooch when she should be helping her instead. Cadpig continues, "Okay...Okay...Okay..." Spot looks around after setting her stuff down and sees a half eaten apple on the table. "Ugh" She disgustingly whispers. Cadpig continues, "Okay...Okay, I love you!"
Beamer continues watching TV in the puppies room. "Okay, well it looks like you got all the channels except for channel 19 for some reason. I don't know why." He says.
Rolly puts his paws on his head in stress and anxiety. "Well the thing is Uncle, we won't be watching a lot of television. But thank you!" He pats Beamer on the back. "We don't wanna keep you. I know your a busy dog." Lucky is standing there dazed on why his uncle is still in their hair in their room.
Spot pulls the shower curtain open and smells the odor and nearly pukes after checking the towel in the bathroom.
She then goes over to Aunt Coco's desk for assisstance. "Hi!" Spot says.
Coco says, "Can I help you?" Spot says, "I'm looking for an extra towel." "Ok." Says Coco. "And I know this might be a stupid question considering the state of the rugs in our room, but do you have a business center here?"
Coco answers, "Yes! We do have a business center. You can find it right outside the doors to your left right beside the Hammam spa." "Okay." Then Spot heads out.
"Would you like me to book you a treatment while you're at it?" Coco asks Spot. "No just the towel. Thanks" Spot says as she walks out. "I'll get those right out." Coco points out.
Beamer is still in Lucky and Rolly's room watching Thunderbolt. Lucky and Rolly are still a little disturbed by their uncles frenziness.
"Well Uncle Beamer, once again thank you for giving us the lay of the land here, but we have some serious unpacking to do." Lucky directs. "Oh." Beamer says.
"If you don't mind." Lucky says as he moves to his suitcase getting ready to unpack it. "Sure." Beamer says. "No problem my sweet nephew Luckster I don't mind helping out. Listen! One thing before I go here Ummm...Do you mind if I use your toilet?"
Lucky couldn't believe what he just heard what his uncle just asked him.
Rolly is disgusted and asked, "Is it absolutely necessary?"
Beamer chuckles and says, "Yeah, I would say its absolutely necessary."
He then pats Lucky and makes his way towards the bathroom. "Excuse me pardon me. Yes absolutely necessary. That train has left the station if you know what I mean." He says laughing and closing the door to their bathroom.
-Back In Cadpig and Spot's room-
Cadpig is unpacking her stuff on the bed that Spot wants.
Spot comes in and says to Cadpig, "I need that bed."
Cadpig looks back to Spot and asks, "Why?" "Because I need it" Spot says. "Why?" Cadpig asks again. "Because if someone were to break in here in the middle of the night wanting to murder us, they would attack this bed first. So I need this bed."
Cadpig weirded out by Spot then asks, "So your saying that you want me to get murdered first in front of you? And then what would you do? Would you just run away and leave me to bleed out on the floor?"
Spot then says, "Uhhhhhh sort of, that was the plan! Yeah!"
Cadpig in all sorrow says, "Okay! Well you can have the bed when I leave."
Spot says, "And just where are you going?"
Cadpig tells Spot, "Mooch is flying to come get me I told you that."
Spot asks, "What do you MEAN Mooch is coming?" She gets ready to sit down on the bed that she dosen't want so then she grabs a chair and sits. "What do you mean? When is he doing that?"
"Whenever stupid Jewel stops hogging his plane?" Cadpig tells Spot.
"Well where are we going?" Asks Spot.
"Okay, at present, hes just coming for me, but then I figured that we would just back and grab you guys at some point." Cadpig points out to Spot.
Spot stands up all in outrage. "What kind of sociopath abandons her family in some vomit soaked dump to galavant around the world with her dumb shipping heir loser boyfriend!?" She asks in all distress.
Cadpig says in her usual chipper self, "Well if you must know, I know at one point he will be able to say 'I love you' soon. So..."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Rolly and Lucky will never approve of it." Spot says all in disaproval.
"No Spot! Don't you see? I'm waiting for the right opportunity. Okay?" Cadpig says. "Otherwise Lucky is going to cry and Rolly is going to do that thing where he pretends that nothing is wrong, and dosen't talk to me for five months and I don't want that."
"Well I'm sorry Cadpig. I need this bed." She then grabs Cadpig stuff and puts it on the other bed. "I need it." She says as she puts her stuff on the other bed.
Cadpig gets up and says, "You know what Spot! You get murdered first for once." Cadpig grabs her stuff and puts it back on the bed she had it on.
"You get murdered first!" Spot exclaims as she grabs Cadpig's stuff again and puts it back on the other bed again. "Spot! YOU get murdered first!" Cadpig says as she again grabs her stuff to put back again on the other bed. "NO!" Spot shouts. "YES!" Cadpig shouts. "YOU get murdered first!" Spot argues back.
Lucky and Rolly listen as Spot and Cadpig argue.
Cadpig then comes in to the boys room and says in her cute voice, "I think this place is very cute!" She smiles shining her teeth.
Rolly depressingly says, "Did you say 'cute'? No Cadpig. Cruella's home is cute."
Spot then comes in and asks, "Where's that weirdo uncle of yall's?"
Rolly point to their bathroom. "Where!?" Spot disgustingly asked all shocked. Rolly points again to their bathroom. Spot and Cadpig look back
Lucky then says, "He's in the bathroom. It's ju-Ugh! He won't leave!"
"Well I m-m-m-m-m-ust say he's been in there for a very long ti-Oh My God!" Spot says. Cadpig shakes her head all shocked and disgusted.
Then they all hear the toilet flush. Beamer comes out and then says, "Remind me to get that window fixed cause it will not open."
"Uncle Beamer!" Lucky says, "Listen, Thank you very much but uh, I appreciate everything you have done, we need uh we private time now as a family."
"Sure" says Beamer as he unpaused Thunderbolt. "Well actually, those cutrains do close there." He points to the front door curtains.
Rolly mouths in all annoyance to Lucky, "GET HIM OUT!"
Beamer got channel 19 working and says, "Oh you got channel 19 all working-" Lucky is now looking all angry then explodes on his uncle.
"UNCLE BEAMER! COULD YOU GET THE FUCK OUT!?" Lucky beamed at his uncle. Cadpig puts her paws over her mouth. Spot just looks a little bit at the ground and hisses a little at Luckys anger. Rolly closes his eyes and raises one eyebrow.
Beamer then turns off the TV.
Lucky calming down says, "That was an overreaction. That was uncalled for. It's just, you know, we're a little tired, it's been a long day. There's a pharmacy worth of drugs wearing off on most of us right now, and I just think as a family, we need a little time to chill."
Beamer then finally gets up and says, "Lucky, please, you don't have to apologize, and you really don't have to hit me over the head with this sort of thing, I get it, you need your little family time and all that, I'm sure. No problem. You know what I'll do, I'll um I'll just get the fuck out of here."
Beamer then leaves, leaving the pups with no knowledge that he WAS clearly offended by Luckys over reaction. Then right after he left. Rolly then closed the curtains on the front door.