Hey, I'm back.

San Francisco, California 2004

"Hey Buffy, I have returned with groceries." Willow said as she burst through the apartment door, dropping paper bags of bread and milk onto the countertop, quickly accompanied by Dawn rummaging around for a new jar of peanut butter. Xander still sat with Buffy on the balcony but his head twitched round and he waved to his best friend. She was smiling, amused by Dawn's eagerness to help, but it was tainted, her eyes were still recluse and she kept her heart buried deep in her chest.

She'd not been the same since Tara died, even with Kennedy, there was just a light missing from her eyes. She'd let her hair grow out and fall out of layers, her makeup use had lacked and her clothes had kind of turned from suitable to comfortable. It didn't help that Sunnydale was gone, there was nothing of Tara's she could cling too, except the blanket on her bed, Xander had picked it up before they'd left for the battle, stuffing it somewhere for retrieval if they needed to run. He knew Willow could never leave without something, it would break her too much.

She always wore a couple of crystals around her neck despite her magic use drying up too, she barely did any spells anymore, there was no use for them. They weren't really fighting evil anymore so she lacked focus. So did Buffy really, somehow the absence of evil made them feel useless. A strange phenomenon.

"Oh-ok Will. Thanks." Buffy replied looking back at Xander then out to glittering city light. She would sit here in quiet contemplation for a while then go and tell Willow about the day's events. But Xander caught her arm as she got up to leave, catching her off guard.

"Buff, the only thing I do know is. I'd rather see my best friend happy again than some selfish grab to get Anya back, if she'd even want me back. I can cope on my own, but Willow she..." Xander said, glancing back every so often at the broken but smiley redhead. He knew he would do anything to give Tara back to Willow, and in turn Buffy would regain a great friend, someone else to talk to when she needed a different kind of advice. And Tara had been like a mother to Dawn. In some small way each of them needed her, and now she was gone their group was falling apart, there was a caring soul missing holding them all together. That once they'd found was impossible to let go.

"Oh, you mean?" Buffy said, the thought hadn't crossed her mind until now. It seemed obvious now she thought about it, she knew in her heart Angel wasn't hers to have, they were soulmates but the slayer had to be alone. But really do I? Because now there are thousands of slayers and the rules are all wonky. And Spike, well he gave his life for all of theirs, for the whole world, to bring him back and force him to live eternally after that would be cruel. He deserved to be a martyr. And Angel had his own team, and maybe he'd always resent her for growing older and eventually leaving him. He was doing good now.

"Tara." Xander whispered softly, he didn't want Willow to hear yet, he wanted it to be a surprise if Buffy did decide to choose her. It would be a huge sacrifice, but the love between them seemed worthy of such a decision.

After several rounds of peperoni pizza and hearty laughter from the four of them, Dawn had settled into the pull-out couch for the night and Xander had sauntered off home. Buffy had been thinking over the wish all day and had made a decision, she just wanted to talk to Willow first. Because however slim the possibility Willow might want Tara to stay in heaven, she might think it was best placed and that she deserved a life of contemplative solitude. But she knew Willow, and she was yearning. A silent pine for her love lost. If her head said no, her heart certainly wouldn't agree.

Buffy slipped through Willow's door, leaning on the wood, thin pyjamas stuck to her nimble frame. Willow was reading, all sorts of histories set out in front of her but the book she was actually flicking through was a work of complete fiction. Buffy had to tap softly on the wood for Willow to even look up. "Will, can I talk to you? Is it a bad time?" Buffy asked gazing at the countless books surrounding Willow's bare feet.

"Oh," Willow gasped out, dropping the book and clutching at her chest. "Sorry you startled me. The books have decided to shut themselves so I suppose now is as good a time as any." She said, making a pile out of the many pages bound before her, creating a space for Buffy to sit.

"Will, I was visited by a Power, I'm guessing you of all people probably know what a Power is so I won't bore you with the details. Anyway, so they said I was to be granted a wish like as a reward for all the free slayage over the years. I just wanted to ask you what I should do with it?" Buffy rambled a little, resting a friendly hand on Willow's arm, and looking down every once in a while, at the blanket on the bed. It still retained the smell it once had, vanilla cookies, there must be some sort of charm on it after all this time, to keep it fresh and Tara-like.

"Oh well, Buffy. That's a huge responsibility I don't know if I would trust me. After all the bad decisions I've made over the years." Willow remembered everything, raising Buffy, which admittedly had turned out for the best so it can't have been too terrible an idea, but she had pulled her best friend from heaven. Then there was embracing dark magic, killing Warren, pushing Kennedy away, her only real chance of love now.

"Willow, you know I love you right, I'd trust you with anything." Buffy interrupted her rambling mind, making Willow glance back up from the spot on the corner of Buffy's shirt she was focussing her energy on.

"I love you too." Willow said, pulling Buffy into a tight hug. One that neither of them needed more. Slowly Willow had become the baby of their little trio, as her mind had dipped into slight repression Xander and Buffy had been taking care of her. It wasn't that she was useless, just more uninspired to do really anything other than read and eat. Then they looked at each other and Willow knew what she'd do, there was one thing, one person she wanted most in the world. "You know what I'd do, her. If she could live happily here I would do anything to bring her back, you know that. Did you even need to ask?"

"I know, I was just checking."

"So what are you going to do? Oh you could have Spike back. Or Angel." Buffy rolled her eyes. Willow smiled cheekily, she knew Buffy was thinking about him. How could she not? Wish that can do anything. Spike's dead, it totally makes sense. She also bit her thumb nail and smirked at the blonde, trying to reason with her eyes that it was undoubtedly true.

"Oh my god why do people keep saying that? I'm not in love with Spike." I'm really not, not in love with Spike at all, I mean I did say that I loved him but he said I didn't mean it so ha. Ha ha. I win. I don't love him.

"I didn't say you were was just- oh never mind." Willow gave up trying to reason with the so obviously in love with Spike version of Buffy. It was uncanny how much she randomly mentioned his name when she had the chance. But it wasn't worth fighting a battle she wasn't going to win. Actually the thought of one wish set her optimistic brain into overdrive. Her brain filled with images of a smiling Tara holding her and a future she could never have. It wouldn't happen, she was stuck, stuck with this boring life alone. Well not alone, she had Buffy and Xander and Dawn so not really at a complete loss. And she was grateful, of the so many bad things that had happened in her short life, she was never alone now.