Love and Lust

by Khp3

We all love our Golden boy Harry Potter. So here's a few one shots with some loving for the Chosen one. Fluff/Slash, Canon/AU, Straight/Gay. Harry Pairings. You know the drill. Huna, Hinny, Drarry, Harmony etc.

3. Harry and Hermione

AN: Hey guys, I hope you're all well.

This was a difficult one to write because I'm not a Harmony shipper and I don't like smut but I really tried my best to write this and tick the topics off my list so I do hope you enjoy it and I'm sorry for any mistakes in advance.

This is gonna be a long one shot but it's a good one.

For this one Ginny and Harry never got together in HBP and he never had feelings for her.

I've read Deathly Hallows the least out of all the books, so I'm sorry for any canon mistakes, if made.

Warning: This story is Rated M. Contains minor self harm and sex.

/

Harry and Hermione:

The night air was filled with a deep cutting chill.

Harry, who wasn't even aware of what the date or month was, knew it had to be somewhere in winter. The nip in the air was too bone chilling for it not to be. It was so cold that Hermione had even stopped him from taking his turn to keep watch of the tent that night.

She had frostily insisted that they put up extra protection spells that would alert them to anyone's presence from a far distance away as neither of the two could afford to catch hypothermia.

Harry had eagerly agreed and the two had put up the extra spells, in and around the tent. The two teens from there, proceeded to pick a new location that they would travel too in the next few days. Harry soon afterwards took the locket from Hermione and began to work on their next meal for the night.

Harry begrudgingly walked out of the tent where there was a lake just a mile away from there spot.

Harry spent half an hour casting spells before he was able to catch a large flounder fish which he levitated back to the tent.

Hermione had found some edible mushrooms and berries and was boiling the mushrooms. Harry placed the fish on a plate and began to gut the fish. It was a task he found repulsive but in the air of silence he didn't make one complaint. When he was finished he let Hermione do the rest by cleaning it, preparing it and cooking it.

He could definitely do it himself by this point but Hermione had almost exclusively taken over the task in the past week and he was not about to take it away from her.

When the fish had been thoroughly cooked, Hermione halved it and served one half on the two plates and wrapped up the other half to save for tomorrow.

Harry drained the mushrooms and put all of them on the plates. He didn't particularly feel like saving horrible mushrooms for tomorrow.

He took a quarter of the berries and dished them out, onto their plates and past the rest back to Hermione who wrapped up the remaining berries and put them away.

The two then sat at the table and ate their lousy dinner in a deafening silence before retrieving to their bunker beds with flimsy good nights to each other.

Harry was so cold that he didn't bother to change into pyjamas. He kicked off his trainers and wrapped up in his sheet but that didn't stop his teeth from chattering excessively.

Soon Harry started shivering and perhaps Hermione had seen this or had heard his chattering teeth because he soon heard Hermione cast a warming charm throughout the tent. He felt the warmth glaze over him, taking away some of the bite that was picking at his skin and slowly he was able to relax his muscles.

He was extremely grateful to her even though he knew it would be useless to say so.

Harry began trying to think of other locations to search that would lead them to the next Horcrux or an idea of where the real sword of Gryffindor could be. As time passed his head began to thump a little at running over the same thoughts and he started to feel a shiver run through him again.

Although he could feel the warming charm working, he could still feel some of the cold air seep into the tent and he wrapped himself further into his blanket and tried to fall asleep. He would wrack his brain for possible locations tomorrow as he could look forward to another day of stoney silence and a scant meal.

Maybe two or three hours passed, he couldn't tell but Harry couldn't sleep.

The chill mixed with his emotions was a combination that kept his brain wired and left him to delve into the thoughts and feelings he didn't want to dwell on. He was feeling angry, miserable, guilty and confused all at the same time. His mind was now an array of thoughts causing him to violently twist and turn in his annoying little bunker bed. A process that in the past week and a half had been happening very regular.

He always started feeling sick with worry, which then would turn to a rush of guilt that would plague him for a while, before confusion would hit him but that would soon turn to anger which would pulsate through his veins suppressing any other emotion that swarmed around in him.

The anger would then finally dissipate when he would hear the soft sobs of Hermione bawling into her pillow at night, when she believed he was asleep. When she would finally stop or he would eventually fall asleep and wake up the next morning, the emotional cycle would repeat itself.

It didn't help that Hermione wasn't talking to him. At least not friend wise. She didn't say the words but it showed in her attitude towards him.

She blamed him for Ron leaving. Maybe not entirely but he could tell that she did especially as of current she only spoke to him out of necessity. She spoke when they would move location, look after the Locket or talk about discovering where the next Horcrux might be.

They had discussed the same ideas so much that they barely even spoke about that, they would just choose the next location to travel too and search.

It hurt Harry deeply to know that Hermione was upset with him but he wouldn't question it or defend himself to her because he was upset with himself too. After all it was him who had told Ron to leave, even though it would be extremely dangerous for Ron out there.

It had been a week and a half now since Ron had left them.

Harry hated to admit it but it was killing him deep down inside. He missed him terribly. All he wanted was for Ron to walk in through the tent flap where the three of them could embrace and he could know that Ron was safe but he knew that wouldn't happen.

Ron had made his choice. He had chosen to abandon them and it wasn't as if Harry had forced him. He may have given the suggestion but he hadn't put his wand to Rons throat. It was his choice and he had made it.

Harry began to grit his teeth.

How the hell could he do that to them?

He knew wearing the Horcrux was a major factor in his decision to leave, which had been Hermione's only argument for Rons behaviour but Harry knew that wasn't the only reason. He and Hermione had seen this from Ron before and Harry knew that the feelings had to be in him deep down for the Horcrux to emotionally manipulate him.

He didn't dare voice this to Hermione though. He didn't need her to hate him more than she already did and although he had wanted to leave the burrow that night before the wedding; The idea of losing both his best friends now wasn't an idea he was able to comprehend.

He couldn't bare to lose Hermione, not when he had already lost Ron.

He twisted his head a little to look over at her. She was curled up in her sheet and had her back to him.

He silently sighed. He knew they couldn't keep going on like this but he was at a loss of what to say. He had no idea how to comfort her. He contemplated on whether he should ask her how she's feeling but thought better against it. He felt if he brought up Ron, then another argument would ensue.

Harry was not prepared to go through that. Apart from the fact that he didn't want to damage his friendship anymore. He wasn't sure that his and her temper both raised would end well for anyone, especially him.

Harry shook his head and tried to let his brain shut down again but he just couldn't. His mind kept racing. If he wasn't thinking about Hermione's half silent treatment or thinking about his failing mission then it was wondering if Ron was alive. If he had been captured or if he was with Mr and Mrs Weasley in the comfort of his room with hot food whilst laughing with Fred and George or laughing at him knowing he was in the woods eating mushrooms and bad fish.

There it was again, that rush of anger flooding his senses. He shut his eyes tightly trying to calm down the sudden rage that was sizzling inside him when he heard it.

The sound that had been breaking his heart for the past week and a half.

Hermione, once again was crying.

She clearly hadn't heard his tossing and turning, or perhaps she had and just didn't care. Harry knew that her heart was hurting. Ron had not only left them but had directly implied that there was something between himself and Hermione.

If he hadn't have been so angry at the time, he would've physically squirmed at the look of fury that blazed in Rons eyes as Hermione had chosen to stay with him instead of leaving with Ron. Perhaps if she had left with him she'd be much more happier now but then he would be all alone. A feeling he had been experiencing more and more ever since they started searching for the Horcruxes.

He felt like a complete failure. He had been given a destiny to "Save the world" and yet here he was on the run, moping in a tent with a crying Hermione and one Horcrux that he had no way of destroying. Some leader he was turning out to be.

'God, listen to yourself.'Said a voice in the back of his head.

Harry jolted up at how loud the voice sounded. It was slick and sinister sounding and made the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stand.

Harry quickly picked up his glasses and wand from under the bunker bed and put them on before he twisted from left to right with his wand held out ready to attack or defend himself. There was no one else there other than Hermione who was still on the other side of the tent with her back still faced to him. He could now see her shoulders shaking and he knew she was still awake and crying.

He looked around again for a few more moments. None of the charms had gone off to tell them that anyone was outside but that didn't stop him from listening for any other sound outside the tent. After a few minutes of Hermione's sobs and the loud whistling of the wind he decided to lay back down.

Perhaps he had imagined it?

'So much self pity. You're pathetic! Your whining whilst your best friend is crying and the other one could be dead and it's all your fault.'Said the voice harshly.

"Stop it. You're not real." Said Harry quietly but he shook his head violently. He did not want Hermione to hear him losing his mind. It would make her fret and assume the worst.

'Why don't you grow a pair and take control. Use your head. If you even have one. Do you? The great Harry Potter. You don't seem all that great. You seem weak to me. You're useless. You're no chosen one. You're just a little fool pretending he can save the world when all you really do is get people killed.' Said the voice menacingly.

"No." Said Harry in an angry whisper.

'You got Cedric killed. You got Sirius killed. You got your parents killed. You let Dumbledore die. That's all you're good for.' Growled the voice in his ear.

"Shut up!" He murmured.

'And now your little sidekick, your supposed "best friend" is gonna die because of you, because of your failure. You'll probably get the little mudblood killed too. You almost did before and now you have the chance to get them killed properly.' The voice jeered at him.

"That won't happen. I won't let it." He uttered out, his words barely above a whisper. He could start to feel tears brimming in his eyes.

'But you won't be able to stop it. You sent Ron away all alone to fend for himself when he's barely just recovered and look at little heart broken Hermione. She's probably so sad that she wouldn't even see the killing curse hit her. That's what happens when you befriend Harry Potter. You die. You've proven it enough times now. Why do you deny it so?' Said the voice unrelenting in it's torment towards the bespectacled teen.

Harry wanted to scream but could not find the energy to do so. He told himself repeatedly to not listen but something about the voice and it's words dug deep within. He tried to fight the power of the voice but he could feel the voice's words radiate in his mind.

He felt powerless against it. It didn't help that the voice was right either. How could he deny it? Many had died because of him. Many still were dying because he had not found and destroyed the remaining Horcruxes.

Suddenly, before Harry even had time to push past the awful thoughts, it happened. An array of horrid images swirled around in his mind, like some sort of twisted playback reel.

Sirius falling through the veil. Cradling Cedric's dead body. Dumbledore falling from the astronomy tower. His mother's last words floated in his brain, like a banshee was screeching into his ears.

"No, not my Harry. No, not Harry. Please take me."

He remembered being told of Moody's death and how it hurt knowing one of the greatest aurors in the world had died whilst trying to protect him. He saw Hedwig's lifeless body fall from the sky as she was hit with a killing curse.

He wanted to be sick but other horrible memories materialised in his mind.

He saw George missing a chunk of his ear and blood flowing freely from the wound. Neville twitching under the cruciatus curse. Draco Malfoy bleeding out on the bathroom floor. Ginny's cold body lying in the chamber of secrets. Hermione's petrified body. Ron almost dying from the poison. Ron being attacked by the brain. Rons splinched arm bleeding severely. Ron leaving the tent.

It felt like someone had taken their arm, stuck it through his chest and ripped out his heart. He felt like his lungs had been punctured over ten times.

He began to start breathing heavy and couldn't stop the stream of silent tears that poured down his face.

It was like someone had taken all the grief and pain he had ever felt for each person he had ever lost and had magnified that pain by tenfold. It hurt. It hurt worse than any injury he had ever sustained. He felt like he couldn't breath. Like he was drowning in grief. Drowning in his horrible memories. It was worse than being kissed by a dementor.

He just wanted it all to end. He couldn't do it anymore. He didn't want to be responsible for people getting killed. The pain was too great.

'You can end it Harry.' Said the voice tauntingly.

"How?" Said Harry in a small and hollow voice.

'You know how.' Said the voice very silkily.

"You mean…..?" He uttered not being able to finish his sentence.

'Yes Harry. Exactly that.' Said the voice with sickening encouragement.

The thought that was running through Harry's head was a terrifying thought. Could he go through with that? Was that an option? He knew even considering it was wrong but something was urging him to the idea. Like it was the only thing he could think of.

Would it really help? Would it save Ron? And Hermione? Would it save the Weasleys and Hogwarts? The order? The world?

But surely he couldn't.

He suddenly saw a vision in his mind of Ron bloody and beaten, being captured by death eaters and being brought before Voldemort whilst being held on his knees by two death eaters on either side of him.

'Tell me where Harry Potter is and you will be rewarded.' Said the high cold voice.

'Never. You'll have to kill me first.' Said Ron spitting at Voldemort in defiance.

"Crucio." Said Voldemort instantly.

Harry watched in horror as Ron's body twitched violently on the floor. He wanted to run to him and stop Voldemort from hurting him but he felt rooted to the spot in the corner of the room. He tried to scream for Voldemort to attack him but his voice sounded muffled as though a silencing charm had been cast all around him.

He watched and listened as Ron screamed in agony as his body flailed about on the floor whilst the surrounding death eaters only laughed at his pain. When The curse was released, Ron slumped to the floor taking uneven, ragged breaths but the two death eaters on either side of him harshly dragged him back up to his knees making him look Voldemort in his cold Scarlett eyes.

"I'm giving you one last chance. Tell me where Harry Potter is." Said Voldemort gripping Rons bloody and dirt stained face.

"I'd rather die." Ron spat out venomously.

"And you shall, after you've paid for your insolence." Said Voldemort with a dreadful smile that graced his snake like face. He let go of Ron and instantly the two death eaters dragged him away.

Harry couldn't breath.

"That's not real." Harry said shaking his head in disbelief.

'Not yet, but it can be, because he wants you, but you could stop it. You could stop it from ever happening.' Said the voice deviously.

Harry contemplated the voices words. It was right. Voldemort did want him because he was the chosen one. He had tried to come after him plenty of times now. Voldemort had seen into his mind. He had seen his memories. Who he loved. Who he hated. What he feared.

Of course he could use Ron or anyone else that he cared about. Voldemort had used the tact with Sirius, only that had been a fake vision but he had still fallen for it and had come running right into the trap.

Who was to say he couldn't do it for real this time? What if he did find Ron and torture him?

Of course he would come running. He would do anything to save Ron.

Maybe this was the only option?

'It is, Harry.' Said the voice enticingly.

"And it all will stop? They won't get hurt? Ron won't?" Asked Harry in a hollow trance, not truly aware of his own words.

'No Harry, they won't get hurt. You can be a real hero and save their lives.' Said the voice with euphoria laced in his words.

"But Vol…."

'Is after you, not them. He wishes to rule not kill. He just needs to fight for power and you and anyone who sides with you, get in his way but if they didn't side with you they would be safe. If you did this he could never hurt your friends and he could never hurt you again. Wouldn't that be bliss? Knowing you could stop him from having the one thing he wants? To kill you. It would be your little victory. He would forever be enraged that he could not kill you himself. Hermione would be happier. Ron would be happier. You would be happier. You could see your parents and Sirius too. You could finally be a family. Wouldn't you like that Harry?' Said the voice, his voice twisted but alluring.

All Harry had ever wanted was to have a proper family. He wanted Ron and Hermione and everyone else who he cared about to be safe. Perhaps the voice was right.

Although Dean was on the run, that didn't mean that Voldemort would kill him. He was most likely on the run for supporting him or perhaps he did not want to register himself at the ministry.

Voldemort had refused muggle-borns entry to Hogwarts but Dean hadn't mentioned an onslaught of them. Prejudice from death eaters yes, but he had not heard of a specific attack on their kind. Those who were being killed was because of their opposition to Voldemort. Perhaps if he wasn't around anymore they wouldn't fight him. Of course some would still continue to fight but just maybe most would lose all hope entirely.

If the chosen one was dead, then who else could stop him? Ron had given up and although Hermione would want to continue to fight , she wouldn't be stupid enough to look for the horcruxes by herself or recruit others to help her.

Maybe this was for the best.

'It is, Harry. You can save them.' Said the voice soothingly.

Harry whose face was tear stained, looked towards Hermione, who was still crying. He felt bad at the thought of leaving her alone and vulnerable but he didn't want to cause her any more pain. He had to save her and Ron. He had to save them. This was the only way.

'Yes Harry, do it. Do it now and save them. Save yourself.' Said the voice echoing loudly in his head.

Harry found himself removing the sheets off himself and sitting upright. He felt rather empty and numb inside. He couldn't feel the cold, or the tears that were blurring his vision. The only thing he could think about was ending it all and saving his friends. The only family he had left.

He stood up and put his wand back under the bed and strode towards the kitchen. He had somehow found a calm but determined energy to go through with what he was about to do but he knew he couldn't use his wand to do it.

Hermione had left the utensils out. She usually was the type to put everything away even though they wouldn't be moving every single day but ever since Rons departure from the tent, Hermione had left out not only the utensils but pots, many of her books, potion ingredients and more.

Hermione would usually never stand for uncleanliness but her heart ache was clearly taking over her emotions to care. To Harry's standards it wasn't even messy but he knew for Hermione it probably was, which he knew probably made her feel worse.

Harry glided over to the kitchen where the large kitchen knife he had used earlier to gut the fish that Hermione had cooked and they had eaten, was left on the table. He swiftly picked it up and took it over to the sink and rinsed it off before wiping it clean.

He looked at the now gleaming knife and stared at the broken reflection staring back at him. This was it. If he went through with this then it was final. No more Ron, no more Hermione, no more Voldemort, death eaters or war, no more Weasleys or order, no more magic and no more Harry Potter.

This was really it. It wasn't exactly how he had pictured his last moments but then again he usually pictured them with Voldemort standing over him before uttering the fatal killing curse, but this, this was something else. He was about to die in the woods, on the run, in a tent.

He thought that perhaps he should say goodbye to Hermione or write a letter at least but he couldn't do it. Hermione was mere inches away from him. If he said goodbye, then he wasn't sure he could go through with it. Even last words felt too great a privilege. No, he couldn't tell the world how much of a failure he was. How much of a coward he was, even if his last resort was to ultimately save the world, it was still a cowards way out.

His heart started to beat a little faster now. It was now or never. He decided he would just get it over with. He drew a deep breath which he held for several moments before exhaling and letting his muscles relax as much as he could. He needed to do this. It was the only way.

He sat down at the table and stretched out his left arm that begun to tremble violently.

'Do it Harry. Do it. Save them all.' Said the voice almost hungrily in his ear.

Harry raised the large kitchen knife that glistened ever so sinisterly and placed the knife over his wrist. All of a sudden he felt like the world was in slow motion. He could hear the pounding thump of his own heart beat loudly in his ears, whilst the sound of everything else seemed to be muffled. His vision seemed to blur even with his glasses on, as he slowly lowered the knife over his vein and started to slice. Even without drawing blood he felt the sharp sting of the knife sliding across his skin, making him want to pass out.

His arm was still violently shaking and tears were streaming even harder down his face but he was determined to push on. He pushed down on the knife harder as it slid across his wrist and felt the sharpness of the blade increase causing him to loudly hiss in pain and quickly he pulled the knife away from his wrist.

He took another shaky breath and for a second felt his heart thump painfully in his chest. Maybe he couldn't do it?

Just as the panic was about to set in, the images of Sirius falling through the veil and Ron leaving the tent came flooding back to his mind as well as the other bad memories he had thought of earlier and suddenly his fear was replaced with pure determination. Harry took the knife and quickly slashed it down in a fluid motion.

Just as the knife was about to cut his wrist, it was flying out of his hand as he heard Hermione's shrill voice.

"Accio Knife."

Harry turned to face her, his vision coming back into focus. She was standing there with a pale and incredulous look of shock on her face. Her wand was still extended even though she had a firm grasp of the large kitchen knife.

Harry looked down at his wrist and saw the dots of red, just barely under the surface of his skin and the imprinted line of his failed attempt to end it all. He had barely torn the skin open but the pressure of the blade had still hurt just from the attempt alone.

He took a heavy sigh. Not even this he could do right. He turned back to Hermione who had not moved from her spot and was still silently staring at him with wide eyes.

"Hermione?" Harry said in a hesitant voice. This seemed to have woken the girl out of her daze, cause suddenly she was by his side in a second and screaming.

"HARRY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?"

"Hermione listen….."

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" She continued as though she had not heard him.

"Hermione…."

"YOU'VE DONE SOME CRAZY AND STUPID THINGS IN THE PAST HAROLD, BUT THIS…..THIS REALLY TAKES THE BISCUIT. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HARRY. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO DO THAT TO YOURSELF? AFTER YOUR PARENTS SACRIFICED THEIR LIVES FOR YOU TO LIVE! WHEN WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR! YOU COMPLETELY STUPID, DUMB, MORON. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO THEM? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?" Hermione screamed.

She had started hitting Harry hard in the arm which caused him to back away from her especially as she still was holding the knife but in her final question to him, her voice gave out and she broke down. Tears poured down her cheeks whilst she slumped down to her knees and dropped the knife and wand.

Harry looked at his best friend who looked completely shattered. He was afraid she'd start screaming again but she was crying openly in front of him and he knew he had to comfort her even if she did hit him again. He walked over to her and knelt by her side and put his arm over her shoulder and began to rub small circles into her back whilst she involuntarily sobbed into his shoulder.

For several minutes the two just sat there. Harry had ceased his tears but watching Hermione cry next to him had caused a great amount of sadness to swell in his heart. He was sure that not all of Hermione's tears were for him but to know how much he was pushing her to her breaking point hurt him.

He didn't think about her actual reaction or how she might feel after the deed was done. He wanted to mentally slap himself. He should've waited, or should've gone somewhere else. She wouldn't let him out of her sight now.

After a few more minutes of comforting her, Hermione pulled away from Harry. Harry caught a quick glimpse of her face. Her eyes were bloodshot, and puffy and her face was pale and tear stained. She was breathing heavily as her head hung down.

Harry looked down at the floor. Her wand and the knife was still there. He knew the moment Hermione gained composure things would go down south again. He had only one solution that would solve this mess. A memory charm. He felt terrible for even thinking it, but he couldn't let her keep the knowledge of his impending death. It would break her and he couldn't let her hurt like that. He slowly grabbed both her wand and the knife but as his hand touched them, Hermione looked up.

Her eyes gleamed with fresh tears, but anger flashed dangerously in them too.

Harry braced himself for another hit but it didn't come, instead he got something worse.

"You know you've always been kind and caring but god sometimes you can be so selfish." She said in a low grating voice.

Harry felt like he had been slapped in the face and it must have shown too because Hermione gave him a satisfied Slytherin type of smirk that had no business being on her face.

"Oh I'm sorry, did that hurt? Well good! Then maybe that pain will knock some common sense into that thick skull of yours, you…. you….. you complete tosser!" She spat out with a venomous tone.

Harry looked away from her. His anger was now starting to build again.

How dare she? Selfish? Him?

Sure he didn't always consider everyone's feelings when wrapped up in his own. If he did then perhaps things with Cho would've gone very different but that didn't mean he was selfish. He didn't go out of his way to hurt others and only think of himself. He cared a lot about others and doing the best for them.

"I'm not selfish." Harry gritted out barely controlling his rage.

"Oh really? You could've fooled me. As far as I'm aware, what it looked like was you trying to kill yourself when the rest of the world needs you. How is that not selfish Harry? Because it seems pretty selfish to me." Hermione said with just as much anger as Harry was feeling.

"You wouldn't understand." Harry said not wanting to get into it with Hermione. Her words were seriously starting to aggravate him.

"Well please enlighten me Harry. Make me "Understand" why you think it's okay for you to cut your wrists and die Harry because trust me I don't get it!" She said sarcastically with over the top quotation marks.

Anger flared in Harry's green orbs but Hermione didn't care. What the hell was he playing at?

She had been laying down crying when she heard Harry muttering to himself. At first she thought he was dreaming and would've left him to it but she heard the slightest mutter of Rons name slip from Harry's mouth. At first she thought he was still dreaming but then she heard Harry start to say Voldemort.

Hermione didn't turn around but strained to listen to him. Was he dreaming of Ron and Voldemort? But Harry could look into Voldemort's mind. Did that mean Ron was with Voldemort? Was Voldemort using Legilimency on Harry?

Panic had begun to set into Hermione. She was about to get up and go over to Harry when she heard that Harry was awake and moving across the tent. She again strained to listen to him. She heard light shuffling and then she heard water running from a tap.

He was in the kitchen.

She wondered what he was doing. She heard him draw out a chair and heard a faint sigh. For moments she heard nothing but silence before she heard a hissing sound which sounded like Harry was in pain. It didn't matter if she was barely talking to him, if he was hurt then she would make sure he was ok.

She turned and lifted herself up and looked toward the kitchen. To her complete surprise she saw Harry sitting at the kitchen table with a knife over his wrist. Before she even could comprehend what was happening, she was out of her bed and grabbing her wand to get the knife away from him.

Was he insane? Why on earth would he try to kill himself? Harry was quite suicidal when it came to saving other peoples lives but he wasn't suicidal enough to try and take his own. Did he not realise what was at stake? Why would he do this? Had the forest cracked his sanity? Was this the affect of Ron leaving?

She had been so caught up in her own feelings that she hadn't even thought about how Harry might feel. She knew that Harry cared deeply about Ron probably even more than her. Is that why he had tried to do that to himself?

No, that didn't sound right. That wasn't Harry. No matter how bad Harry would feel about anything, he wasn't the type to just give up. Especially when it came to Voldemort. So what was going on?

What on earth would possess Harry to try and end it?

'Possess'

A light bulb had switched off in her head. He had the Horcrux. That had to be the reason for his erratic behaviour. It influenced you negatively. Ginny who had been given Tom Riddles diary, had been possessed to the point of near death. This had to be the reason. She looked at him. She could see the silver chain round his neck. She stared into his eyes for a moment. He still looked angry but she could see no glaze or essence of anything else. Perhaps he was not possessed as of yet but she wasn't going to take any chances.

"Look Hermione just drop it and go back to sleep." Harry said looking irritated.

Harry contemplated doing the charm now but Hermione was not stupid. She obviously would not expect an oblivious curse but he knew she would be ready if he tried a spell. He had seen Hermione in battle. She was quick, and although he too was quick, possibly even quicker, he also wanted to do this with her back turned to him.

He did not want to see the look of betrayal he would receive if she knew what he wanted to do.

"Firstly, I will not drop it Harry, this isn't something you just drop. Secondly, you're still holding my wand and the knife and thirdly, take it off." She said sternly, standing put.

"What?" Harry said with surprise.

"The locket around your neck, take it off." Ordered Hermione in a tone that was far too reminiscent to McGonagall for Harry's likings.

His hand automatically moved up to the locket that lay cold and beating against the warmth of his chest. Some part of him seemed to agree with Hermione to take off the locket but another part of him screamed not too.

"The Horcrux is fine with me Hermione." He said defensively taking a step back.

He wasn't sure why he was so defensive but something was telling him not to give her the horcrux.

But why? He trusted Hermione. Didn't he?

"Harry please, take off the locket." Hermione asked in an exasperated voice.

'Don't do it Harry. It's just an excuse. She just wants to stop you from doing what you need to do. It's her way to make you put down the knife and wand. Don't do it. You can save her. You can save all of them. Don't put them down Harry. DON'T!' Said the voice authoritatively.

"Hermione, the locket is fine. Now will you please just go back to sleep." Said Harry visibly getting more irritated.

"Harry you tried to kill yourself because of that Locket." Hermione shouted whilst pointing toward it.

"No I didn't!" Harry Shouted back at her viciously.

"Yes you did! It's influencing you. Take it off." Hermione said stepping forward.

'Don't let her get near you.' Said the voice loudly.

"No!" Screamed Harry, pointing Hermione's wand at her.

Hermione stopped and stared at Harry incredulously once again. The action and look of distrust that graced his face was breaking her heart. She knew it was the Horcrux manipulating him but it didn't hurt any less, but she had to put that aside. Her best friend needed her and she was going to help him whether he liked it or not. She just had to be smart about it.

"Harry, please put the wand down." She said calmly.

"No I can't. You had to get up and ruin it. Don't you understand I'm trying to save you. To make you happy." Said Harry in desperate frustration.

"Save me? How will killing yourself save me Harry? What makes you think that will make me Happy?" Hermione asked horrified.

"It will. It will save everyone Hermione. It will make it all better." He said sounding more like he was convincing himself than he was her.

"Harry…"

"It has to be done. If I die the war stops." He said firmly.

"No it doesn't Harry. That thing has somehow convinced you that your death will be a turning point but your death is the only thing stopping him from taking over completely. Your death would be the worst thing to happen to this war. Please Harry. please take it off." Hermione pleaded.

She was beginning to get scared. He still had her wand and the knife and he was convinced he needed to die. What could she do to get through to him?

"Yes it does Hermione. Why can't you understand that? if I can't stop him then who can? They'll have to stop fighting. They'll have to give in. Then they'll be safe but if I'm around then they'll continue fighting." He said vacantly as though he had practiced this many times and knew it by heart.

"Even if you weren't around Harry they would still continue to fight." Hermione said taking a chance to step forward.

"AND THEY WOULD DIE!" Harry bellowed, making Hermione jump back.

For one moment Hermione was truly terrified of her best friend. She had seen him angry before and that was frightening enough but she had seen something else. It was still with out a doubt Harry who was standing before her but in that one moment she had seen lord Voldemort flash within Harry's eyes and she was afraid.

She knew it was stupid to be afraid of him and she felt terrible for feeling that way for even a second but he had scared her severely and it must have shown because Harry looked at Hermione with great pain engrossed in his eyes as he realised he was holding her at wand point and she was looking at him with fear in her mousey brown eyes.

Harry felt cold, and not because of the weather. He felt cold on the inside. His best friend was looking at him like he was a death eater. It was a horrible feeling.

Harry backed away from her and in all his feelings of guilt and pain, he dropped both the wand and the knife and both clattered to the floor.

"I'm sorry Hermione, I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. I just want you to be safe. I want you to be happy again." Harry said regretful.

Hermione took this as an opportunity to move toward him but she didn't touch the knife or her wand. She went straight to him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She didn't even realise that she was shaking. Less than five minutes ago she had come this close to losing him that she couldn't help but let out tears she didn't even know she could produce after crying for half the night.

Harry didn't reject her hug but didn't return it neither. He stood there thinking about all the things that had gone wrong. He thought about all the pain he had caused and was still causing. He had only seconds ago scared his best friend and now he had caused her to cry again and his other one was probably dead. The images and feelings were all rushing back and it felt like tens of thousands of tiny needles stabbing at his heart.

How could she want him to stay alive when he was nothing but a problem?

He tried to move away from her but Hermione felt this and clung onto him for dear life. If she let go she wasn't sure he would come back and she still needed to get the Horcrux off him. The question was how?

'Harry be strong. She's just trying to distract you. Pick up the knife Harry. Do the right thing. Save her. Save them all. GET THE KNIFE!' Said the voice desperately.

The voice was right. He had to do this.

"Hermione, let go." He said trying to remove her arms from around his neck.

"No Harry." She said holding him tighter.

"Hermione, please." Harry begged.

"You said you wanted me to be happy right?" Hermione asked.

"Yes." Harry replied.

"Well I'm happy standing right here. I'd be even happier if you hugged me back." She said trying to get positive emotions out of him. If she could get rid of the negative thoughts he was experiencing then maybe she could get him to take off the Horcrux.

"Hermione. I can't." Harry said sorrowfully.

"Yes you can, Harry." She stated firmly.

"No I can't Hermione. I can't make you happy. All I do is hurt you." Harry replied back.

Hermione pulled back from Harry but only slightly to look into his eyes. She knew that he believed what he was saying and she was now confused. What was the Horcrux doing to him to make him think he had hurt her?

"What are you talking about Harry? When have you hurt me?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I hurt you all the time Hermione. I didn't believe you about scabbers. I got upset at you for the fire bolt and stopped talking to you. I got angry at you when all you ever did was try to help me. I brought you to the ministry where you could've died. You almost did. I told you about the Horcruxes. We're on the run because of me. I told Ron to leave. All that pain you've had is because of me. I can't make you happy because all of it is my fault but if I go away, you can be happy again. You can find Ron and be happy. You can be safe. I just want you to be safe. For the world to be safe. I can't stop him Hermione and whilst I fail others suffer but if I go away they won't fight because they can't. They won't like it Hermione but they'll all be safe." Harry said staring into her brown eyes. His were glistening with tears.

Hermione couldn't believe it. She understood now how the Horcrux was influencing Harry. In the weeks they had been on the run and hunting, they hadn't got much done. They didn't even have a way of destroying the locket. This had been getting to Harry and the horcrux was using this to make Harry think he was a failure and that his last option to save those who were dying out there was to die and let Voldemort win, causing many to lose hope.

It didn't help that Ron had left them and that she herself had not been talking to him.

All those pent up feelings plus the amount of time they had been wearing the locket must have given it some kind of strength to be able to influence Harry so negatively that he was willing to kill himself.

Hermione had to do something and quick.

"But you do make me happy Harry. You being my best friend makes me happy. You being alive makes me happy." Hermione said feeling her own stream of tears fall even harder.

"But it doesn't make you safe." Harry retorted.

Hermione didn't know what to say to that. She wanted to deny his claim but she couldn't. For once he was right. Of course she was in danger even if she wasn't his best friend, being a muggleborn but he was still right, being his best friend made her one of the biggest targets for the death eaters, and to Voldemort, Harry being alive was the only thing stopping him from taking over completely. He wouldn't rest until Harry was dead, which meant that she could die too.

Hermione of course knew this from way before they had gone on the run and accepted this knowledge fully but trying to deny his statement would be a lie and one that wouldn't compel Harry to removing that locket.

She needed him to feel positive emotions. He was afraid that everyone was unsafe so she needed to show him she was safe. But how? She was standing in front of him alive and that didn't make her safe to him, then there was the fact they were on the run, so no she wasn't that safe at all.

Perhaps a distraction is what he needed, but what?

"Harry…..I am…."

"No you're not Hermione, not with me and you never will be. If I don't do this then you'll end up like, Sirius, Dumbledore or my parents. I care about you too much to let that happen. I can't lose another person I care about Hermione. So I have to do this." Harry said strongly whilst ripping Hermione's arms off him.

Hermione shot her eyes down at the knife and wand. Why hadn't she picked them up when she had the chance? She went to go for her wand but Harry was quicker and swiped the two from the floor.

"Harry." Hermione said moving forward once again.

"Sometimes we do stupid things for the people we love Hermione. I know it's stupid, I know I could have hope but I don't. Now I'm gonna do what needs to be done Hermione and I want you to turn around and go back to bed because I love you too much for you to watch what happens next." Harry said in a tone of finality.

Hermione knew if she turned around she would never see Harry again. She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't let him die. She loved him too much to let that happen.

'Love'

Another Light bulb went off in her head. Perhaps love could save him. It had before, why not now? It was the most powerful feeling in the world. She just needed to love him, to save him. Love wasn't analytical. It was pure emotion. It was impulsive. She wouldn't think about what to do. She would just do it if it meant saving her best friend.

Before she even knew what she was doing, Hermione launched herself at Harry and crashed her lips down on his, taking the raven haired teen by so much surprise that he wasn't able to protest the sudden action and once again dropped the knife and wand.

It took a moment for Harry to make sense of the situation. His best friend, Hermione Granger was kissing him.

'Stop her Harry! STOP!' Said the voice frantically.

Harry at first was going to stop her because Hermione was his best friend, he had never thought of her in that way and the atmosphere of their situation had certainly not warranted any kissing but something had stopped him.

It felt like an unknown force invaded his mind telling him to keep going. It was a feeling equivalent to the analogy of him putting on his glasses. When they weren't on, his vision was blurry, and when they were on, he could see clearly. This is what he felt like. As though the soft lips of Hermione Granger was helping him see clearly.

Harry felt as though some form of blur was partially retreating from him, only instead of the blur clouding his vision, it was more as though the blur was clouding his mind and Hermione kissing him was causing it to retreat to the furthest corner of it.

It was like taking a potion for a headache but waiting for it to take full affect, or perhaps pain killers would've been the correct analogy as he could tell the blur was not entirely gone. It was like having a one sided headache. He could still feel it there and could tell something was wrong but he couldn't pin point exactly what it was, as if something wasn't allowing him too.

He was suddenly more aware that he wanted it gone.

His senses and body were being more reminded of the fact that Hermione was still kissing him. A warmth was spreading through him which was more comforting than the charm she had casted earlier. Something he found himself eager to cling onto.

Harry knew it was wrong and part of him wanted to end this charade for several reasons which included a certain red head but instead he did something he didn't think he would ever do in his lifetime. He kissed her back.

Hermione's head was spinning. She was kissing her best friend Harry Potter. The sentence itself was very surreal.

When Hermione had first been told she was a witch and had taken her first trip to Diagon Alley, she had made it a priority to find out as much information on the wizarding world as she could. Upon some extensive reading material before her first year at Hogwarts, which had included Modern Magical History and the Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts, She had found out a lot in the weeks leading up to getting on the Hogwarts express.

The late night reads were thrilling. A large section of the books told the tales and terrors of Voldemort and how his downfall had fallen at the hands of a baby boy. The acclaimed Harry Potter.

So upon meeting the boy on the Hogwarts express she couldn't help but be elated to meet the celebrity child who had made it possible for her to even be able to go to Hogwarts.

Although Hermione would've never have gone so far as to call herself a fan, but when Harry and Ron had saved her life on that Halloween night, she had contemplated in her dormitory of girls she couldn't connect with, that she was friends with Harry Potter.

As an eleven year old, Hermione could not be faulted for her excitement but as she grew up, she had gotten to know Harry for who he was, and had grown to care deeply about him. The same went for Ron but unlike Ron, Hermione had never thought of Harry in any other way than her best friend.

The only time she even came close to such topic was her many girl talks with Ginny when she was harbouring a massive crush on him. She suspected she still did but had taken her advice to begin dating others. Otherwise she had never thought of Harry in any such way.

So to say that she was kissing him right now was extremely surreal. Yes she was doin it to save his life but what was surprising her most was her enjoyment. There was something comforting about Harry's lips entangled with her own. He was gentle and warm and was kissing her back.

On one hand the kiss felt exhilarating. She had butterflies in her stomach. On the other hand she couldn't help but feel guilt building up inside her heart. She wasn't in love with Harry. The boy she loved had left a week and a half ago. If he could see them now.

Suddenly a jolt of anger and pain flushed through Hermione. He had chosen to leave them. He had chosen to leave her. His best friend was on the brink of suicide and he wasn't here to help.

Hermione knew that she was in love with Ronald Weasley and truly she felt horrible for betraying him like this, but for now he was not here. He was gone and she was left to pick up the broken pieces of their best friend and unlike Ron she would not desert him. She would save him just like he had saved her. If that meant kissing him then it's what she would do. Hermione had never asked for permission to help Harry before and she wasn't about to now.

Hermione heard the clatter of the wand and knife hit the floor but she refused to break the kiss. She felt as Harry wrapped his hands around her waist and suddenly deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into her mouth. She surprisingly opened her mouth eagerly, and let out a throaty moan as he softly bit down on her lip.

A surge of electricity ran between the two of them as their primal urges seemed to kick in. Their kissing became more heated. Hermione found her hands clutched in Harry's hair whilst Harry was holding Hermione tightly around her waist. Suddenly Harry's hands found themselves on the back of Hermione's thighs and on cue Hermione jumped up and wrapped her legs around Harry.

Feverishly kissing as though their lives depended on it, well, Harry's did but Hermione kissed Harry as though hers did too, for she was finding solace in Harry's arms. Harry wouldn't be a replacement to mend her aching heart, she wasn't looking for one. She would deal with the pain of her betrayal later, for now she wanted to save Harry and in a strange way kissing him felt safe. Like she knew everything would be ok. That he would know she was safe too.

Harry carried her across the tent. He arrived just before his bed and put her feet back on the ground. Hermione's hands moved from Harry's hair and slid to his torso until they found the hem of his shirt. As she began to lift it, Harry stopped her and paused their kissing.

"Hermione are you sure you want to do this?" He said breathlessly inches away from her sweet lips.

"I'm sure Harry." She whispered in his ear.

Part of her wasn't. If she went through with this there was no turning back. What would happen afterwards? Could she live with it on her conscience? But she pushed those thoughts aside. Harry was more important.

She resumed pulling up his shirt and Harry took over and lifted it over his head and threw it on the floor. Hermione had only ever seen Harry's body once, when they were removing him from Privet Drive, but she hadn't really been paying attention, but she was now. Harry had always been skinny but years of playing Quidditch had filled him out more. His muscles were broad and toned and he was even in the process of forming a six pack. She noted the silver and green locket that was now glistening around his neck.

Hermione felt a shiver run down her spine. It was like the Horcrux was staring into her soul, but she ignored it. She took her own hands and lifted her shirt up and pulled it over her head and gently tossed it onto the other bed. She felt slightly self conscious but she couldn't afford to doubt if her body looked good. Love was impulsive. She would give in to those impulses.

She moved forward and began kissing him again. Their hands roamed each other's bodies intently. Hermione's hands began to unbuckle Harry's belt. She could feel, the stiffness of his growing erection. Her heart skipped a few beats.

Was that really because of her?

Hermione felt her cheeks go red but she continued to remove his belt and pull his zip down. She hesitated for a moment. This was all new to her. Something that she had never relied on books for because it wasn't something that you should rely on books for. It was supposed to come natural.

Harry sensed the hesitation. He himself was nervous. This was Hermione after all. He didn't have feelings for Hermione. Although he couldn't deny that she was making blood rush to certain places, but this was still his best friend and he knew she had to be more nervous than him. It was her, who had initiated this. Perhaps this wasn't a good idea.

"Hermione…." He started.

"Sssshhhh."

Hermione didn't want Harry to doubt the situation for a second. She undid the button and pulled down his jeans until they were at his ankles. Harry stepped out of the jeans and was now half naked in front of her.

Hermione could hear her heart pounding so much that she wondered if he could too.

She pulled down her own trousers and stepped out of them.

Harry felt his own heart thump hard in his chest. He could put a stop to this now but he didn't want too. It wasn't so much that he was about to have sex with a girl as to why, but more so for the fact that he knew she cared about him. That his first time was with someone he loved and cared about.

He may not have been in love with Hermione and he knew she wasn't in love with him either, but he knew after all these years how much she cared about him to even go through with this. He did feel guilty because he knew that this moment for her should be with Ron but he was clinging on to the care that someone he trusted was showing him.

Perhaps it was pathetic but he didn't want to let go of that feeling. It felt warm, safe and comforting.

He moved forward and kissed Hermione again very sensually to which she kissed him back. He picked her up and laid her gently on his bed and lowered himself on top of her.

He began to kiss her neck and when he heard Hermione softly moan, he started to suck gently on her delicate skin. Hermione couldn't help but rummage her hand through his hair again and tug, which urged Harry to suck a little harder. After a few minutes he began to draw his tongue down her neck to her chest. He stopped at the fabric of her bra.

He didn't pull it down as he knew that seeing her breasts would fully break the barrier of the platonic side of their relationship.

He knew it was stupid, considering they had just kissed and he was lying on top of her but a small part of him hoped she might stop him, perhaps the part of him that was thinking of his other best friend but another part of him disregarded those thoughts and made him trace his tongue over the bra. He could feel her nipples hardening under the fabric. He went from left to right before kissing his way down her torso. He went down to her left thigh and placed soft kisses up it until he got to the edge of her panties and did the same to the right.

Hermione could feel herself tingling. She could stop this. She could stop this right now, but she didn't want too . It felt too good. She couldn't stop the moans. She couldn't stop her despondent feelings slipping away even if only temporary. She didn't want to give up those feelings.

Harry paused momentarily. It was the last chance to not change the dynamic of their friendship forever, but he realised that he already had, the moment he had tried to kill himself and plenty had happened in between that to now. He wasn't sure what would happen to their friendship afterwards but it sure as hell would never be the same again. With that thought he centred a kiss at the top of her panties.

Hermione let out a loud groan. He could taste the wetness of the fabric.

Was he doing that to her?

The situation made his member twitch, as he became rock hard. He found it insane that this was happening because of Hermione but he couldn't deny that she was beautiful and if his first time was going to be with anyone than it might as well be her.

With one last hesitation he finally pulled her panties to the side. There was no going back now. He could see the beauty of her nether region. It glistened from being so wet. She was beautiful. She had a faint landing strip of brown hair. He wondered how she was so well tamed when they had been on the run for months but the thought became mindless when her sweet aroma filled his nostrils. Her pink and plump lips stared at him, inviting him to taste them.

Harry obliged.

He started out slow, teasing her, tasting every crevice. Hermione couldn't help but buck her hips up as waves of pleasure took over her senses. This encouraged Harry to pull down her panties to gain further access to her delectable folds. He began to lick and lap up her juices feverishly sending Hermione into a heaping mess. For several moments he continued until Hermione's groans got louder.

Hermione not wanting to give in yet, stopped Harry in his tracks and pulled him up to kiss him again. She now felt incredibly warm as her cheeks burned. She could taste herself on Harry's lips which to her surprise was a complete turn on.

Hermione managed to flip them so she was now on top. She caught a glimpse of the Horcrux that was around his neck. She suddenly was reminded of her task at hand. She didn't want Harry to think about what she was doing and came up with an idea. She pulled Harry up into a sitting position. She was now directly over his member, only the thin fabric of his boxers that separated their genitalia from each other which she could feel was being drenched in her juices.

She went back to kissing him, placing her hands on his shoulders. He placed his hands around her waist. She then started to grind. She started slowly rocking back and forth until she had a nice steady rhythm. Harry gave muffled groans which vibrated on her tongue. She continued to do this for several minutes until she could tell Harry was lost in the pleasure of her grinding on his erection.

She moved her left hand from his shoulder and directed it towards the Horcrux. She increased the speed of her grinding and deepened their kiss, whilst slowly grabbing the locket and turning it so that the pendent part was now on his back that it would not hit his face when taking it off. She slowly lifted it and broke their kiss to pull the chain off. Luckily Harry's eyes were closed and he was too distracted to notice the chain coming off. She quickly kissed him again and balled the locket in her hand before tossing it over to the direction of her bed.

She had done it. She had taken the locket off him. Harry was safe. At least for now.

She wondered if any clear thoughts were going through his head now. She knew the moment he had time to evaluate things he would be a mess. Harry was never good at dealing with his emotions.

She would of thought on it more but suddenly she felt an explosion ripple through her and let out a little scream as she clutched onto Harry's neck. Her body shook as she felt little pleasure waves ripple through her limbs. Down below was on fire but the feeling was heavenly.

When she came down from the high of her orgasm she took a few heavy breaths.

She now understood a lot of the late night conversations between the girls in her dormitory that she never participated in. Their boy talk, and as Lavender had once called it hitting a home run. Which in Hermione's opinion was not a good analogy or even an English one but she let them have their talk.

They never had serious conversations about the dangers of the wizarding world or dangerous adventures where the darkest wizard of all time always attempted to off any of their mates. But now here she was in one of the most dangerous adventures of their lives and yet she had officially made it to third base.

If Lavender and Parvarti could see her now. The things they would say. If Ginny could see her now. She had long since gotten over her crush for Harry but she always had an inkling that she still had it a little for him.

She imagined all three of them asking her questions. Imagining their own home runs.

In that moment a horrible thought ran through her head.

Lavender last year had been dating Ron. Had their relationship gone any further, would they have made it to third base? Would they have hit a home run?

Would Ron wherever he was, run back to her? Because she hadn't left with him?

'Stop it!'

She didn't want to think about this. She didn't want to ruin this moment. She could feel Harry tracing circles into her bare skin. He probably wasn't aware of the emotional turmoil that was running through her head currently. He was probably only aware that she had just had her first orgasm. One that should've been given to her by Ron.

'Stop it now!'

This wasn't Harry's fault. He had asked her if she was sure. She had said yes. This was her fault and her fault alone.

She should've been more level headed when Ron was still with them. She should've been more patient in their many weeks on the run. She should've not expected so much of Harry. Of course she hadn't realised that she had, but Ron reminded her in his off hand comment to insult his leadership of what she had said about him, but the frustrations of the situation had got to her too and she was human. She had her own emotions to deal with too.

Yes she did and she had the right to deal with them but she in future with Harry would make him deal with his too. For him not dealing with his and her shutting him out to deal with her own, they had come to the point of near suicide and sex.

'Sex.'

They hadn't got to that bit yet. Would they? There was no need to carry on now. She had saved him. He was safe.

A feeling erupted inside her chest. She could feel sudden anxiety building up inside of her. Her thoughts of Ron multiplying as the prospect of now facing what she was doing was approaching. Facing Harry. Making him face his emotions so soon.

'No. Not yet.'

They both needed more time. The atmosphere needed more serenity.

A home run it was then.

Still clutched round Harry's neck, she focused her attention back to the feeling of his erection. It was only fair that he orgasm too.

She had to admit it was one of the best feelings she had ever felt in her life. Even if it wasn't with the boy she was in love with. Harry was a close second. She still had an emotional connection with him. One deep enough to save him with such intimacy. She'd rather her first time be this way then with some random boy she'd never see again. At least Harry was special.

She slid off him and looked at him. His face almost blank and lost now. As if he was waking up from some strange spell.

'He needs more solace.'

She leant forward and once again kissed him, although much more gentle than previously. He was slightly hesitant this time but soon kissed her back in the same manner. She took one hand and unhooked the back of her bra and took the straps off her shoulders before her bra was on the floor. Whilst the other hand pulled down his boxers to his thighs.

When she broke the kiss she looked down.

"Merlin's Beard!" She exclaimed loudly. She then flushed and gave him a sheepish grin. He too flushed.

There was Harry's manhood in its full glory and Hermione was impressed to say the least. He was big. Of course she had nothing to compare him too but she trusted her eyes and felt her judgment was a solid one.

She took a deep breath before and lowered her head down. Her heart was hammering in her chest but she put the feeling aside. She swirled her tongue inside her mouth, she then took her tongue and from the base took a long and slow lick up to the tip of his penis. She heard a sharp intake from Harry and did a few more strokes before taking his member into her mouth.

Harry grunted loudly which she assumed was a good thing and began to slowly Bob her head up and down. She was pleasantly surprised that she was enjoying the activity. It was causing down below to burn again. A feeling that felt amazing. She heard Harry groaning more and more and she started to Bob faster.

She continued like this for several minutes. Her tongue swirling up and down his shaft. Teasing his head. Twisting her hand on his base. His hips were out of control. She could feel him becoming harder but before she was sure he would let loose she felt his hands pulling her up and flipping her onto her back.

"If you want me to stop, tell me now." He whispered in her ear. His voice made shivers ripple through her body.

Did she want this to stop?

Yes. It should be Ron. I want Ron. I love Ron.

Yes absolutely stop. Stop now.

Harry is my best friend. I don't want to ruin that.

Before it was saving, now it was what? Wrong? Cheating? Hurting? Think about what would happen afterwards.

THIS HAD TO STOP NOW!

"No. Don't stop." She whispered back.

He nodded and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He took her hand and squeezed it for reassurance before moving in between her legs. Hermione felt Harry's member just before her opening. Her body was on fire with anticipation and nerves.

Harry's heart was hammered heavily in his chest.

He was about to have sex with Hermione.

Harry didn't doubt that she was special or attractive but it was still Hermione 'know it all' Granger. The girl who used to annoy him a lot. The girl who always had something to say, but she was also the girl who had saved his life on several occasions. The girl who had risked her life countless times to help him on dangerous adventures. The girl who cared enough to stay with him.

A warm feeling spread through him and for the first time in months Harry felt happy.

Harry with one final sigh pushed the tip of his member slowly into Hermione.

Hermione gasped and clasped her arms onto his back. Harry didn't know much about sex but he did know the basics. He knew that for girl, losing her virginity hurt. He could feel her seal breaking as he slowly continued to push inch by inch.

The grip of her walls felt amazing around his shaft. He felt ripples of pleasure go through him but he didn't move and wouldn't do so until Hermione was comfortable. He knew she was in pain and would be for a little while.

"You ok?" He whispered gently in her ear.

Hermione who had her eyes closed and face scrunched began to relax. She didn't open her eyes but she nodded in response.

"I'm gonna go slow, ok? Just say stop if it hurts too much." Said Harry tracing his finger across her soft skin.

She nodded again but spread her legs further.

Harry very slowly pulled out and pushed back in. Hermione let out a small moan. Harry continued with several more slow strokes.

The feeling was driving both of them crazy.

Hermione was now breathing intensely. Harry was sure she was no longer in pain.

"Can I go faster?" Harry asked almost desperate, to which Hermione nodded her head vigorously.

So Harry began to pump his dick into her tight wet hole. It felt heavenly. Hermione's moans only encouraged him further.

He could feel his own grunts escaping his lips as Hermione's moans became more verbal.

"Oh god, ah yes. Yes. Oh my god. Ah Harry."

He kept going. He pumped harder and harder. He felt Hermione's hips buck underneath him. Whilst his balls began to tighten.

Hermione's reaction to all of it was a major turn on. He couldn't help but want to please her. He bent down further and caught her right nipple in his mouth and began to suck.

Hermione was now a screaming mess. Her nails were now clawing into Harry's back but he didn't mind. Harry could see the pure look of lust and desire in Hermione's eyes. It was far from one of her disapproving or analytical looks that he had come so well to know over the years but it was beautiful to see.

Hermione was in pure ecstasy. She could feel another orgasm building inside her. Harry was filling her up and it felt magical. Her nerves were tingling. Her body was on fire. She didn't want the feeling to end.

Like earlier she managed to stop Harry in his tracks and flip them over. She quickly put her mouth over his member and began to suck intently. She lapped up her own juices as she bobbed her head up and down his member. Harry was now moaning much louder. It felt amazing knowing she was giving him such pleasure. She could tell by how stiff he was, that he soon would probably orgasm.

She took one last lick of his shaft before standing over him and lowering herself onto his rod. Instantly they both groaned. He was buried deeper in her with this position.

"Ooooh god Hermione." Harry grunted. His hands found her hips and hers found his chest.

Without another thought, Hermione began to ride his member. She slid up and down slowly until she found a steady rhythm and began to quicken her pace. Harry took one hand and started rubbing her lips and the small little pink nub that lay in between. He didn't know exactly what it was but earlier it had gotten a hip bucking reaction from Hermione and now was no different. Once again she was letting out loud verbal moans of pleasure.

Harry felt his body heat up intensely. His muscles tightened up. He was sure he was close to exploding soon.

He still couldn't believe it. Hermione Granger was making him feel this good. Hermione Granger was naked in front of him and having sex with him and he liked it

Hermione began to ride even faster now. Harry realised that she must be close too. They both were desperate for relief. He knew that he was gonna pop any minute now. He decided to tell Hermione, there was no need to impregnate his best friend.

"Hermione I'm….."

Before Harry could even finish he felt a tight squeeze on his member as Hermione let out a loud guttural scream. He could feel how wet she was as she grabbed onto his shoulders for support. She was quivering all over and taking quick breaths. She had just had another orgasm.

Harry couldn't believe it. Harry had made her cum twice. She was literally shaking.

After a few moments Hermione lifted herself off of Harry's member but stayed on his lap. Harry could see she was a little shaky so he sat up so he could support her. Hermione's eyes were closed tight but her hand found his dick and began twisting from the base to his tip.

Harry threw his head back. He wasn't sure how much more he could hold on.

Hermione kept twisting up and down Harry's shaft. She knew he was ready to blow and not soon after thinking it, Harry let out a loud groan as she felt his member twitch in her hand. Warm jets of cream spurted out the tip of his penis and landed all over her and the bed.

Harry fell back onto his bed. Hermione who was still in his lap fell down with him. He wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into his chest. Both of them had never felt such pleasure in their lives. The two of them laid there in comfortable silence in one another's arms.

Harry was aware that only a few hours ago the silence was unbearable. It was insane to think what happened in the last few hours had led up to this point with Hermione snuggled up in his arms naked. It was crazy to know that Hermione had done this to stop him from killing himself.

A wave of tiredness suddenly hit him.

"Hermione!" He called out sleepily.

"Hmmm." She responded sleepily as well.

"Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for being there for me."He said nodding off into a peaceful sleep. He just about heard Hermione's murmured response.

"Always Harry."

Hermione woke up to find herself cold and naked. For a moment she couldn't remember why, until she realised who was next to her. Harry was still fast asleep and naked with his arms sprawled out. The memory of last night hit her fully and for a moment her heart dropped.

'Merlin's beard.' She thought to herself. She had sex with Harry Potter. Her best friend. The chosen one but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was she had enjoyed it. She had really enjoyed it. She came twice.

She knew that she would have to deal with the aftermath but somehow she didn't think she would feel this guilty. She had done this to save his life but what would happen now?

How would Harry feel. He wasn't in his right mind for a majority of it. Would he feel awkward? Would he not be able to look at her?

And then there was Ron. Ron who was out there somewhere, maybe in danger, maybe dead and she was having sex with his best friend. The boy she proclaimed to love but here she was in Harry's arms. She felt an ache in her heart and raised her arm to her chest to try and breath but suddenly she felt a sticky substance against her hand.

It was Harry's sperm. She had made him ejaculate all over.

Hermione suddenly felt sick. It wasn't Harry and it certainly wasn't his fault but she couldn't help it. How could she have done this? Why did she ruin both her friendships? She knew Harry. She knew he wouldn't be able to handle this the moment he would wake up and Ron. What if Ron found out?

She didn't even want to think about it.

She jumped up as carefully and as quickly as she could, so she wouldn't wake up Harry. She quietly crossed the kitchen to the bathroom.

She saw her wand and the kitchen knife on the floor. The spot where she had kissed Harry which had surprised him so much that he dropped the two on the floor. They both had stayed there for the rest of the night. The knife that would've ended Harry's life.

She suppressed a shiver. She supposed the only comfort she had was knowing that Harry had not picked up the knife and done the deed after their passionate meeting. She winced at her own phrasing but was at loss at what else to call it.

She decided she would pick up her wand once she was clean and dressed, so she walked straight to the bathroom and took a long shower.

As she washed her skin, flashes of her intimacy with Harry flashed in her mind. Him touching her, kissing her and him teasing her swirled around in her mind. She hated the good feeling that spread throughout her as she thought about it. It just made her feel all the more guilty.

Suddenly memories of Ron flashed in her head. His dumb smile. His fiery red hair. All his stupid jokes and his defence for her whenever someone would insult her.

Before she knew it Hermione had slid down the shower and broke into tears.

The pain she felt was great. Not only did she feel guilt but her guilt questioned the priority of her actions.

If she hadn't done what she did, Harry would be dead but her emotions was bent on feeling guilty about her betrayal to Ron which in itself was a betrayal to Harry.

So she cried. She cried for a long time until she couldn't cry anymore.

She felt numb and strange, like she was a different person entirely. She supposed she was now. She had obliviated her own parents. She had broken into the ministry and she had now lost her virginity.

She was definitely a different person. She knew all those things were for the greater good but it didn't make her feel any better.

When the water began to get cold she turned it off and took a shaky breath before standing to her feet and wrapping her brown towel around her body, that she had left in the bathroom hanging up. She could see Ron's green towel on the left and Harry's blue towel on the right.

She shook her head.

She needed to get a grip. She wasn't in love with Harry but she was not sorry for saving his life, no matter how hard it hurt her. She would always save his life if she could, as he would her. She needed to get a grip of her emotions. He would soon wake and would need to deal with his and it would help no one if they were both a raging mess.

She took another shaky breath before doing her best to control her emotions and walked out the bathroom.

As she walked in the kitchen she peered over to Harry's bed and to her surprise he was not there.

Oh god he was awake, but where was he? He hadn't used the bathroom. She would've heard him. She looked down to the floor and realised his clothes were no longer sprawled on the floor and his trainers were no where in sight.

He was outside, but why? What reason would he need to be outside right now?

Hermione began to panic. An emotional Harry was a reckless Harry but she wouldn't let him go through this alone. She went to go and retrieve her wand and to her surprise, it and the knife were gone. Her eyes scanned the tent but they were not in sight. Suddenly fear gripped Hermione's heart. Harry was going to finish the deed. He was going to die and she would never see him again. She was about to lose both of her best friends. The world was about to lose the chosen one.

"Harry!" She shouted out, sprinting towards the flap. As cold air hit her face everything went black.

Harry looked at his best friend, he had just stupefied. She looked so innocent and at peace. He hated himself for it but this was the only way. He had woken up naked and heard the shower on. He had needed the toilet and was hoping to sneak in without Hermione's knowledge when he heard her crying. Of course she was crying. Why wouldn't she be. She was not in love with him. This must have been killing her.

Sleeping with him had caused her pain. He had caused her pain once again but he would fix it this time. He wouldn't let her go through it. He would do what needed to be done.

"I'm sorry Hermione. Thank you." He whispered gently and bent down and gave her a kiss on the lips. Harry then stood up and pointed his wand at her and painfully cast the spell that he should've last night.

"Obliviate."

Hermione stirred out of her sleep very groggily. She rubbed her eyes a few times before managing to focus her vision. She was in her bunker bed. She felt strange. She looked down at herself. She was wearing the clothes she had on yesterday, the ones she had gone to bed in but she couldn't remember falling asleep.

She remembered telling Harry not to keep watch, making dinner and going to bed but she couldn't place falling asleep. She knew that you could drift off without remembering but this felt different. She wasn't sure why, but it did.

She felt different too. She couldn't pin point how but something was different. She felt…..she couldn't place it. Had she had a dream that was making her feel this way?

She couldn't remember but she didn't think this was the case. She had a weird inkling that something had happened but she just couldn't remember. She could remember going to bed. She could remember feeling sad but she couldn't remember crying last night.

She whipped her head around the tent. She couldn't see Harry anywhere.

Harry!

A weird feeling spiked in her chest.

Had something happened?

She raised a hand to scratch her head. To her surprise her hair was a little damp.

Why was her hair damp? Had she taken a shower last night?

No, she hadn't. So why was it damp?

She tried to recall anything but her mind was blank. All she had was a strange feeling she couldn't place.

She would've thought more on it but Harry suddenly walked through the tent flap. He was carrying a bag.

"Where have you been?" Snapped Hermione. She wasn't sure why but she felt worried. She may have not been talking too him but she needed to know he was safe.

"Sorry, you've been asleep for a while so I just decided to get us some proper food." Said Harry sheepishly whilst holding up the bag.

"Oh."

Hermione was silent for a long while. She hated not speaking to Harry but she was still upset with him. She knew she shouldn't be. It was not his fault that Ron left but the both of them acted irrational and stupid.

"Ok." She said not knowing what else to say. She wanted to talk to him about her weird feelings, but her pride was getting in the way.

"It's spaghetti and meatballs. I managed to snag some bread and jam as well." He said not looking at her.

She nodded.

"I'll help you cook in a minute. I need the bathroom." She said courteously but also aloof.

She had a strange desire to hug him but she ignored the feeling and walked passed him to go use the bathroom.

Harry stared after Hermione and sighed. He knew obliviating her would bring them back to square one but it didn't hurt any less, but he pushed down the hurt. He would live with it if it meant he wasn't hurting her anymore and she wasn't in pain because of him.

And with that thought he went to the kitchen to begin working on a subpar meal whilst looking forward to another day of stoney silence that would break his heart now more than ever.

/

A:N: Lemme know what yall think. Bye for now.