Alice
Oh god, I'm sore.
But that's the best thing that I can do right now.
God damn Gear #123407.
I'm currently writing to you, dear future Säkkijärven Polkka follower, from the garage. And if you're asking why I'm not in Mika's room right now, it's because I could hardly stand, that's why!
Yes, I know why. And guess I'll have to start over.
Both I and Mika have a bad habit of fixing our own stuff.
Dad was an army tank commander. He taught us that the cash that one uses in having a mechanic jack up one's stuff should be put into something more useful. In other words, repair and maintain our stuff. And so, I'm here in my rumpled up Jatkosota uniform with knee-length boots, with an old jacket buttoned over me that's oil-stained, and a BT-42's engine sitting nearby. During practice, the engine was acting up and sputtered, enough that we decided to remove it. That was easier said than done, though. I'm guessing that at 75 kilos. Even if we're in Mars-g that's a bit much (worth mentioning that this isn't Mars-g).
So yeah. I'm stuck here, in the garage, barely able to walk. It took all my strength to get the damn thing out of the tank and onto the ground... fuck that.
Turns out there's nothing wrong about the engine. So I had to suck it up and put it back in again. Turns out the gearbox tripped. And that necessarily mandated it's removal. To reset one tripped gear and put that back in. One gear that's lost in literally a million others. From an honest god dammed heavy as fuck gearbox. See my problem?
That's a little too much for a fifteen-year old girl, you think?
Shit.
I spent the rest of the day looking over Jatkosota's roster. Mika's built up quite a large number here. And organized it well.
Jatkosota has twelve tanks: Two BT-42s, two T34/85s, four Stug IIIs, and two IS-3 heavy tanks. And don't ask me how she she got her hands on a pair of SU-14s.
The entire team was split into four platoons of three, each being designed to a specific purpose, however, platoons often merge and exchange to sow confusion.
The first platoon, known as Eridani, consisted of a BT plus two T34/85s
The second platoon, Concordia, had the second BT and two Stug IIIs.
The third, known as Arcadia, had an IS-3 plus two Stug IIIs.
The last was known as "Napalm" and had the two SU-14s and an IS-3.
Don't ask me how she got hold of all that. But Napalm I know.
Because that's the artillery, that's why!
So yeah.
"Commander? Do you have a moment?"
That was Youko. She has a habit of calling me "Commander" despite me telling her not to like a million times. Evidently, she used to call Mika that.
"Youko? I told you not to call me 'Commander' a million times," I responded.
But Youko's face was dead serious.
"Commander," she began,
"Mika left you this."
She then proceeded to hand me a large binder, and turned.
To my sister, Alice. it said on the dedication page.
Essentially it was a personal journal logging every battle Mika had experienced since she got kicked out of her old family.
One entry, stuck with me: When engaging against super-heavy tanks like the Maus, a sound tactic would be to immobilize it with continuous fire directed at the treads, and artillery strikes to finish it off.
Putting the binder inside my bag, I continued to work on the BT. Yesterday morning, I drew the lot for the national Senshā-dō tournament. Our first opponent is Saunders University, whose three Shermans served during the total anhiliation match of Oarai Compound vs All-Stars.
The match is next week. I have a week to fucking get our asses into gear.
Sounds like a lot, right?
I guess Mika's on the other side wishing me luck. While I wanted to find the fateful gunner who fired that stray 45mm, no luck. Jatkosota's got one thing—they don't disclose those involved in accidents. Makes sense. I think that they think that I'd probably say "You killed my sister, you bitch!" or something similar. But maybe, but just c'mon! I wish Jatkosota was a bit less of a nanny sometimes.
And I can't blame them. I mean, how hard things are on that gunner?
Anyways. Saunders. Awesome.
Shit. I'm dead tired.
I'm going to sleep.
Youko
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, with my violin in my hand. I'm currently playing my favorite tunes, as per my usal habits.
There's a couple of things that I'll like to say about our late commander, Mika.
She's completely cold and aloof, her face the most perfect poker face I'd ever seen. Her steel gray eyes spoke of experience, and a deep sadness that she never spoke of. When I first asked her about it, she trained a sad eye and became visibly upset, and looked like she was about to cry. I immediately dropped the subject, and spoke to further about it.
After all, if there's something that she never wanted to talk about, it must be so painful, that she wanted to purge it from her memory. Asking her to speak about it would only make things worse.
After a couple of months after that, I happened across a family photo she kept with her, and placed on her tank. She must've forgotten it there, as I always saw it's frame inside of her pack. It was rather simple—Mika with her arm draped over a girl who appeared shorter and younger then her, who I recognized as Alice Shimada. Who was the prodigy in command of All-Stars.
That brought up plenty of questions.
The million-dollar question was: If then, Mika was a Shimada, then why would she hide it?
So, I decided to do something about it, something which actually made me think, looking back, was actually... well.
So I went to the garage, where, after practice, Mika was always there as per habit, as usal, with an oily jacket draped over her uniform working on her tank. But as the tank happened to be unhit during practice, Mika had finished with the maintenance a long time ago and was sitting on the roof of the BT-42, completely immersed in thought.
"Mika," I said, catching her attention.
"This photo is yours, I presume?"
Mika nodded in the affirmative, and took the framed photograph, but the look on her face was different. Like, resignation. Knowing, and all others.
"Mika," I said.
If I can do it again I won't have ever asked that.
"Are you a Shimada?"
Mika's face that trained on me was written entirely with sadness, as she locked eyes with me.
"Yes, I am," she said at last, sounding more downtrodden than I had ever seen her before.
"If you are," I continued,
"Why wouldn't you tell me earlier?"
Mikko poked out from the rear of the BT. How naïve of me to ask her that.
But after taking in a deep breath, Mika unveiled it.
"Because there's nothing good at being a Shimada," she said, her eyes welling up with tears.
"Wait, you ok, Mika?" I asked.
"If you don't want to tell us then you don't need to."
"You asked," Mika replied curtly,
"I had a younger sister. We used to be with each other, inseparable, as inseparable as a child to her parents.
"Before I transferred, I had a big fight with my mother. She said that I was useless and undisciplined, and had no right to the family. In other words, she disowned me. I left immediately after."
I could only imagine the pain as a result. My own parents would never do that, but were more patient, but I could hardly imagine that.
"But I left something behind. My sister. My Alice. I left her behind. Alone to herself, when what I should've done at least would be to tell her directly. Instead I left immediately with nothing save a single note for her, and never tried to speak to her, not even once..." Mika said, her voice trailing off. The tears which she had been holding back now started to flow.
Right then and there, I saw a different side of Mika. The side which she kept to herself, the side which no one knew. The side which she had never spoken to anyone about because she didn't want to affect the overall performance of the Senshā-do team. The stoic veil was lifted, revealing underneath Mika as any other girl in high school. She had favorites. She had stuff to do. She had a sister to cherish. But instead, the life which she was entitled, gone. Everything which she cherished, gone. Her own family, gone. She felt like she was completely alone, and she may be right.
And all of a sudden, I understood immediately. Those horrific memories, she wanted to erase them. Purge them completely, from her memory. Memories of pain, hurt, and betrayal.
And I cannot let her suffer like that. For my feelings towards her... was far deeper than a normal friendship.
"Mika..." I began.
"We're always here for you. And I am." I said, gripping her hand tightly.
And then... she broke down completely. Those emotions, those feelings, the pain, they came rushing out in a torrent of tears, as I held her in tight against me and her tears, soaking my uniform.
And I knew: while on the outside Mika was stoic, emotionless, cold even, on the inside she was like any other girl, and some may call her heartless, and to some extent they're right.
Everything Mika held dear to her, her heart, her soul, was violently ripped from her, leaving a big gaping hole where they used to be.
I loved her. Much more than a sisterly bond. But as a girlfriend. As the commander I cherished, loved as deeply as girlfriends.
Cute, huh?
And when Alice came along, I had a feeling that history would repeat itself.
So here I am, sitting in my room, playing "Hymn to the Sea" on my violin, wondering how the fuck do I pull this off.
There's one thing I know for sure: It'll happen.
But how, is the million-dollar question.
A/N:
Well first of all, you'll all have noticed that I've included these lines to separate different threads from each other. If you're wondering why didn't I do this sooner, it's a funny story: When I began writing this, I wrote thay on iOS Notes, and copied it over to the drafts section on Gmail, and posted it onto FFFN via my PC.
And then, I downloaded the app to write, which really sped things up, since the Notes app would go laggy after the first couple hundred words. Which the FFFN app dosen't. Forcing me to split up chapters into multiple entries (and then things would get confusing). Also, the app is where I found the lines part, so yeah.
Funny.
Also, again,
EDIT I CANNOT RESIST
See ya all soon!
On DS,DN, that is.