Note: SVUProductions and obsessedwithstabler, presenting Chapter Three!
Disclaimer: SVU doesn't belong to us, and neither does The Last Song of Your Life.
Warning: Eventual character death, cancer.
The next morning, Elliot awoke with a stiff neck and smelling coffee. He lifted his head and saw Olivia in the kitchen. She had already gotten dressed and was humming softly as she cooked.
When she realized he was awake, she cast him a smile. "Morning, sunshine."
He chuckled and got up, stretching and joining her in the kitchen. "Morning."
"Lucy already picked Noah up, and I have to be at my desk in an hour. But I thought we could have breakfast."
"Sounds good," he agreed, grateful for what he hoped was a step forward.
She finished the eggs and added them to the two waiting plates. "Do you want to pour the coffee?"
He nodded and poured two mugs of coffee, handing one to her.
"Thanks." Once their plates were ready, they sat down together. "So...where do we go from here?"
"Where do you want to go from here?"
She picked up a piece of toast and nibbled at it. "If the circumstances weren't what they are...I would say I want you." Now wasn't the time to hold back. "I think i have for a long time."
Elliot fell silent as he gave her words time to settle in. After a while he looked up, his eyes filled with longing. "I want that, too."
She reached over, resting her hand on Elliot's. "You were...the most important person in my life."
He turned his hand over and let his fingers lace with hers. "And I walked out. But I never stopped caring about you."
Her eyes searched his as she breathed. "I still can't believe you're here."
"I can't, either. I was overseas for so long that it's hard to believe I'm back in the city. But I'm staying here now."
A small smile tugged at her lips, and soon they were leaving for the precinct. It was simultaneously so odd and familiar to walk back into the bullpen with Elliot beside her. How long had she imagined this very moment? How many times had she fantasized it?
When Fin spotted them, he immediately came over to greet Elliot. There was a knowing look in his eye as they shook hands.
Olivia steered Elliot over to her office, shutting the door behind them and drawing the blinds. People would talk but it didn't matter.
Elliot looked around the office, seeing the pictures and awards adorning the walls. A proud smile played on his lips as he realized just how far she'd made it in the ten years since he'd left. "Wow."
She smiled softly and sat down with him. "I know..."
"So I guess it's your precinct now, huh?"
"Yeah." She pressed her leg against his. "I never thought I'd see Cragen leave, but..."
He lightly settled his hand on her knee. "I knew a lot would change, but everything still surprises me."
"It surprises me too." She leaned into him just a bit. "I still can't believe you're here..."
"I never thought I'd be back here, either." When she didn't pull away, he slipped his arm around her. Each touch was more than he expected, and he wasn't going to take any of it for granted.
They traded small smiles and Olivia spent most of the morning sharing stories with him. The only stories she kept to herself involved Lewis, and she doubted she would ever be able to tell Elliot the truth about that.
Elliot stayed, welcoming the familiarity of being in the precinct for the first time since he left that fateful day ten years ago. For the longest time it felt that as much as things changed, some remained very much the same.
The feeling faded fast as he took the time to realize the toll Olivia's illness had taken already. Field calls she would've taken years ago she now passed on to one of the new detectives.
Some time after lunch, Olivia absently stifled a yawn and touched her fingers to the side of her head, rubbing lightly. The motion didn't go unnoticed and concern settled in Elliot's eyes as he looked at her.
"Maybe it's time to take a break."
"I'm fine," she replied absently, taking a sip of her water.
"Are you sure?"
She gave him a weary smile. "Some things don't change, huh?" she joked softly.
"I guess not." He didn't take his eyes off her, watching her closely.
She tried to read another page of the file in front of her, but the words were growing blurry. Finally she closed the file. "Okay. Let's take a walk. Get some fresh air." She stood up and Elliot mirrored her, but when she took a step she faltered.
Instinctively Elliot reached for her, gently gripping her arm to steady her.
She leaned into him for a moment, willing the room to stop spinning. "I'm okay."
Unconvinced, he kept a gentle hold on her arm as she steadied herself. Her fingers dug lightly into his arm. "You don't seem okay."
Slowly she opened her eyes, but her vision was still blurry. "Okay," she finally murmured. "I'll go home..."
Relieved, Elliot lowered his hand, but remained close by her side as they made their way out of the precinct.
Without putting up an argument, she let Elliot take her back to her apartment. While she slipped off her coat and shoes, he grabbed a bottle of water and some pain relievers for her.
"Do you need anything else?"
"No." She took the pills and downed them with a gulp of water. Then she lowered herself onto the couch.
"Alright." For a moment he watched her before he sat down on the couch as well. As soon as he was comfortable, she leaned over and curled into his side, laying her head on his shoulder.
The motion surprised him a little but he didn't resist it. He moved his hand to her head and started rubbing lightly. The relieved sigh she emitted encouraged him to keep going and he continued the gentle massage.
She tiredly rubbed at her eyes and closed them as he stroked her hair. "Lucy will bring Noah home in a few hours," she murmured tiredly.
He nodded, raking his fingers through her hair. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I'm dying," she quipped, focusing on his fingers running through her hair.
He stifled a sigh, his heart twisting a little at the reminder. "If there's anything I can do..."
"You're already doing it." A few soft breaths later and she was limp against him, succumbed to sleep.
That weekend, without so much as a word about it, Elliot made some space in her closet and dresser for his own clothes. All of his kids, and Kathy for that matter, were apprised of what was happening and where he was staying. It was nearly painful to get the words out and Maureen had cried when she understood. Of all his children, Maureen had been the one most attached to Olivia. Of course Eli loved her, and she him, but Eli was a teenager and already learning to keep everything to himself.
As the days passed, he saw more and more of Olivia's squad. Fin had welcomed him back wholeheartedly, but Rollins and Carisi remained firmly standoffish with him. Yet Carisi was at Olivia's apartment at least every other day, whether it was to bring dinner or whisk Noah off for a few hours of 'Uncle Sonny' time. It was clear how much Noah adored the lanky man.
Olivia stubbornly continued to work, but he noticed that where she used to put in ten to twelve hour days, she was now going in at nine or ten, and leaving by four or five. She was also delegating far more tasks to Fin, who gladly rose to the occasion and helped her.
Elliot initially spent those hours with her at work, but slowly moved to visiting his children or spending time with Noah when Olivia shooed him out of her office. But as soon as she left for the day, he was by her side almost constantly until they went to bed.
Bed...that was also a brand new experience for both of them. Without much of an invitation, he had taken to sleeping in the empty space beside her each night. They didn't go further than that, but on some nights she curled into his side and laid her head on his chest. Other mornings he woke up tangled around her, almost as though if he let her go, she would vanish into thin air.
Then there were the medical appointments. Chemotherapy was still offered to her, but after one more round it was painfully obvious it was hurting her more than any help it might have offered. When she came home from that session, she was gaunt and exhausted. She sat Elliot down, quietly thankful that Noah was spending the day with Fin.
"I'm done, Elliot."
The gravity of her words made him freeze. For a long moment his breath hitched as he tried to respond, his words lost in his throat. Olivia tried to hide the effects the treatment took, but he saw through it. In the short time since he'd been back, he'd already seen the toll it had taken. Her hair was thinning, she was losing weight she needn't, and her energy levels lowered quickly throughout the day.
Finally he spoke up, his voice soft. The urge to argue rose but one look in her eyes told him that she was right— there was nothing more to do. His chest tightened at the thought. Wordlessly he reached out and settled his hand on top of hers. "What do you want to do from here?"
Relief filled her eyes, as though she had been expecting an argument from him. "I'm going to talk with Fin and the brass. Either they'll agree to make him captain, or they'll find someone else."
He nodded slowly and laced his fingers through hers. "Fin would do a great job."
She squeezed his hand tightly. "He would." A deep breath escaped her as she ran her thumb over Elliot's warm skin. "Carisi...he's hoping I'll choose him for Noah."
Some selfish part of him felt guiltily jealous, but Elliot pushed the feeling aside and tightened his grip on her hand. "Noah's close with him."
"He is. He adores him." She leaned closer to Elliot, letting out a shaky sigh.
Immediately his arms looped around her. "Have you talked to Noah yet?"
"He knows I'm sick," she began carefully, resting her head against Elliot's shoulder. "He...he doesn't know how sick."
He nodded and smoothed his hand over her hair. "He's a good kid."
"The best." Her eyes drifted shut. "I love him more than anything in this world..."
"I can tell he adores you." Elliot continued combing his fingers through her hair. Pride lifted his lips into a light smile as he thought of all the times he'd hoped she'd one day have the family she had wanted so badly. The smile faded a little as it always did when he had to remind himself that it was just a matter of time.
When she stifled another yawn, he reclined back on the couch, making both of them more comfortable.
Olivia burrowed her head into his shoulder, tucking her legs beneath herself. It was so blissful, so… domestic. "El..."
"Hmm?" At the sound of his old nickname, the smile returned to his face. His arms tightened a little as he gently pulled her closer.
Whatever she was going to say faded from her lips as her head grew heavier on his shoulder. It seemed, at least to him, she was falling asleep like this more often.
He had a sinking feeling that it was only just the beginning.
He'd been to her latest doctor's appointment with her and read some about the type of brain tumor she had. All chemo had succeeded in was preventing further growth. The oncologist instructed them on what to expect if the tumor grew or new ones developed. Issues with coordination and speech, nausea even without the chemo, pain that they could only attempt to manage…
The list seemed endless and Elliot was sure it wasn't the first time Olivia had heard it. When she subconsciously curled closer to him, protectiveness washed over him and he tucked a blanket around her before tightening his hold.
This was the first thing he had encountered that he couldn't protect her from.
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