Hey guys! Sorry it again took me a while to update. I'm really glad you've enjoyed my story, and I hope you like this chapter as well. I've already written the next two chapters, I just want to work on them a bit more. ALSO, this weeks episode...AMMIRIGHT? THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF...in case you don't know, it's a Carly Simon song and if you haven't heard it, RUN, you can read the fic later. That song is EVERYTHING in terms of EO and that I love you.

I know I said this would be solely from Elliots POV, but then I kept writing and writing and writing lol. Next chapter is written, and it's going to be an Amanda-Olivia heart to heart.

I published this and realized that ff erased the divisions I'd made, and I don't know how to make them correctly, so I'm just gonna dots in between scenes. If anyone knows, please message me!

Also thank you guys for reading and for the reviews, I'm honestly so happy that you've enjoyed it.

Urgency overtook him. The drive to the warehouse had been about thirty minutes separated into three decades. He'd ran a few red lights and was pretty sure that it was only dumb luck he hadn't caused a major car accident. When he finally got there, he considered crashing his SUV into the wall if that ended up being the only mean by which he could gain entry. It'd struck him as odd that the locks were disengaged, but in his haste, he hadn't focused on that.

Every second was torture. Every step fell too short. Could he live with himself if any harm befell Olivia? He didn't want to think about it. He couldn't think about it. His mind only replayed an image of her, sleeping in the cribs back when they'd just began working together. Her hair was tussled and her breaths even. Cragen had sent him to get her. He'd done as he was told, but not before he took her in for a minute. In his darkest hours, that minute had accompanied him, playing itself in the back of his mind, a self defense mechanism that grounded him. A memory that came back to him in dreams where he whispered her name. Dreams that Kathy had witnessed. Dreams that she had resented him for because they'd been tangible proof that she had never been the love of his life. That part of him was back in New York.

Every breath he took felt like a curse. He went through each room, only to find it empty. Where was she? This building was the one in the video. The one he'd gotten a warrant for and found his ID card in. He tried to replay it on the MP3 player, but it wasn't working somehow.

Olivia. Olivia. The pit in his stomach grew deeper. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. Olivia.

In the last room he'd seen her, he'd told her he loved her. The realization had taken him half a minute, but saying it had lightened the load on his shoulders and he knew he needed to say it again, in its full gravity. He saw the body then. Her head hanging. "Is she dead? Is it her?" The questions drumming him over and over as he ran to her.

"OLIVIA" Elliot tried to shout but his voice cracked with tears he hadn't realized he was shedding as he ran towards the mangled figure.

"O-Olivia?" He tried to straighten the clearly lifeless body in the beige coat. His hands steady from fear and adrenaline, went to her face. Parting her hair, he realized it was a wig, it wasn't her. "Olivia….Olivia, It's not you. Oh thank god. Oh thank god it's not you. It's not you".

In that moment relief washed over him and all the tension he'd felt for the past 10 years poured out of him tear after tear. He couldn't lose her. Not her. The world around him could parish, but if she stood, he could survive anything. All those years, he'd felt he didn't have the right to know about her life. He knew that if he knew any sliver of information about her, it would be enough to make him crave more until he was on her doorstep.

He had to call it in. Call it in, yeah, call it in. He stood to walk to his car, grab his phone.

Then it all happened at once.

He heard the sirens.

"GET YOUR HAND UP"

Wh-what? They couldn't think that — no. A set up. It dawned on him then, as he raised his hands.

"DETECTIVE ELLIOT STABLER, ORGANIZED CRIME. I FOUND HER LIKE THIS". He shouted back

"Yeah, sure you did buddy, arms behind your back" the officer barked back.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"You're gonna carve a hole into the leather with your fingernail" Amanda said as Olivia nervously found her way through traffic.

"What?"

"Complicated?"

"He didn't do this"

"I know"

"There's an explanation. Something that will make it all make sense"

"Olivia —"

"Look Amanda I appreciate your concern — "

"But you want me to back off, I get it. It's okay".

The two women looked into each others eyes, recognized in one another the pain of abandonment, and the further pain of knowing to this day, they'd go to the ends of the earth for their one.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

As they neared the scene, Olivia felt a sense of dread. She knew this wasn't him. Amanda had given her context. But how? What had let him to believe that she was being held there? He had her number, why didn't he just call her? Yeah, that's why, she reminded herself. And so what if she'd been there — why not just call it in?

Walking up to the uni's, she instructed them to bag everything, and asked to see the suspect.

"He's been transported to SVU central ma'am"

"On who's orders?"

At the uni's innocence Olivia felt exasperation. She needed to see him, look into his eyes. But first, she needed to check out the scene, make sure all evidence was secured, video if available. She willed her mind to shift from woman, friend, partner, to detective, captain.

Before she could make it to the body she heard a menacing voice "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?".

"And you are?"

"Richard Wheatley. I inherited this property from my father, the late Manfredi Sinatra, may he Rest In Peace. My men informed that a woman was found dead in my property, along side that rogue cop that's been practically stalking me and my family, Stabler. I want him arrested, NOW.".

"Okay, sir. I'm going to need you to calm down, we will conduct a thorough investigation."

"Has he been arrested?"

"Like I said, we will be conducting a thorough investigation. Detective Rollins will be escorting you out, this is an active crime scene and we can't have civilians present, proprietors or not". Olivia looked at him sternly as she turned around and headed towards the scene. A kingmaker at an otherwise innocuous crime scene? Not unless there was something there to interest him.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"WHAT THE HELL ELLIOT?" Olivia scram, the anger palpable in her voice.

Even in the small distance of the interrogation room Elliot rushed to erase any space between them, embracing her, immediately taking her aback.

"What the hell Elliot?" This time her voice was dangerously low

"I-I thought it was you. The video, they left a video on my doorstep and it looked like you. I thought it was you. I thought you'd been hurt and I just — I thought it was you".

Memories of a past when it had been her, when she'd longed for this concern, protection, for the sound of his voice, slapped Olivia across the face. "Elliot — I — I…it wasn't me, you can't, you can't do this Elliot. This isn't how it works"

"I thought it was you Liv" his said, adding insult to injury.

"And that excuses it? THIS? What — you can't do your job right if you have to be looking over your shoulder for me?"

"NO, that's not it goddamn it". He remembered those words. He remembered them clear as day because he remembered that that day he'd felt naked before her, bathed only in the knowledge that she wasn't just his partner, like others before her had been, she wasn't a coworker, she was his soul. He remembered his words as he had them tossed in his face. The irony couldn't be missed, after all this time, she was still his one, the love of his life. "The thought of you being hurt, being held hostage, the thought of anything happening to you. It — nothing made sense anymore, I had to get to you. I'm sorry".

Looking into interrogation, Amanda could see Olivias face, she did well to hide her anger, she wasn't sure she would have been able to do the same if put in her position. Behind the irked-superior facade that reminded her of Captain Cragen, Amanda could see Olivia's anger, her raw pain, the silent betrayal of memory bubbling dangerously close to the surface.

"YOU'RE SORRY? YOU'RE SORRY ELLIOT? DO YOU EVEN — CAN YOU EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE POSITION YOU'VE PUT YOURSELF IN, YOU'VE PUT ME IN?"

"I didn't touch a hair on that woman's head —

"I KNOW. I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO IT. BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DID. Wheatley's mouth piece is at the DA's office demanding you been charged for trespassing private property and investigated for rape and murder"

"What are you talking about? Check the MP3 player, it was delivered to my door, there's a video in it of you — well the woman, she bears your likeness. There must be video of me leaving my building, I don't fit the time frame or the profile"

"Elliot — TARU checked the MP3 player, there's only a song on it. We'll meet again, Vera Lynn, if that means anything to you. The cameras in your building don't show you exiting the front entrance, which may or may not be because they were tampered with, the cameras in the back entrance aren't functioning and there's a service entrance that has no functional surveillance system. So that blows holes in the time frame. As for the profile, you're going through a difficult time — "

"What? Major stressors leading to long repressed tendencies? That's just b —"

"Elliot — you KNOW how this works"

"Do you believe that Liv?"

"It doesn't matter what I believe". What had started as a tempestuous rage had wound down to barely audible whispers that held back tears. Tears that she'd resented the moment she felt them well in her eyes, tears that dug into him like a rusted knife.

"IT MATTERS TO ME OLIVIA"

"No, Elliot, I don't believe you did this. But like I said, what I believe doesn't matter". The sentence charged with accusation. He knew what she meant, it didn't matter to him. It had taken him five whole minutes to get up and walk. If what she had to say really mattered to him, he wouldn't have gone ten years without hearing her voice. He saw in her eyes the meaning behind her words, that's how it felt to her, that's the reality he'd created in her mind, what she believed didn't matter to him. That truth condemned him far beyond what any jury ever could.

As Carisi stepped in, their eyes remained on one another, all these years and the only person they could see was each other, crowded rooms or not.

Attempting to take inventory of who was more likely to deck him, Carisi decided his best bet was to remain near the door "Look Detective Stabler, I have to tell you, this is a tricky situation", he said attempting to assert his presence.

Elliot still unable to take his eyes off of Olivia's said "Give the MP3 player to my squad, Sloot can figure it out". Finally, breaking eye contact, and looking at Carisi "I didn't do this".

"We already did, Jet and Kat are working on it" Olivia sighed, incredulous of where they were, too bewildered to even consider how they'd gotten there.

As she excused herself, Fin walked in "Captain, Kat has something".

Before Olivia could walk out, Elliot asked "Am I going to be arrested Captain?"

"Yeah, for now, on the trespassing. Fin will take care of it"

"No, if you're gonna arrest me, I want it to be you. You do it".

"Don't do this man" Fin intervened.

"No, it has to be her" he repeated, looking into Olivias eyes

"Captain you don't have to do this" Carisi added

"It's okay" she said. Her words not an acceptance, rather an assurance to Elliot that she would make sure he would be okay. Looking into his eyes, she saw the scared little boy dressed in a carrots costume made by his mother. She also saw the man, the man who had thrown himself in front of barbed wire to protect her, then and now. What had happened in between was still out of her grasp, but the love she felt for him engulfed her in a way she couldn't ignore, not then, not now, not ever.

Walking over to him, she began "Elliot Stabler, you are under arrest for criminal trespassing, anything you do or say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Have you understood these rights as I have described them to you?".

Once she had cuffed him and placed him in the holding cell, Olivia melted into her office, leaving Fin and Carisi to work out the details of what came next, waiting for Kat and Jet to get in. She needed to cry, to breathe, to throw something, to figure out what excuse was good enough to avoid sending him to central booking for as long as possible.

"What was he thinking? What on earth was he thinking? What was she going to do — what could she do? If he went to Rikers, there were enough people with a grudge too, no she couldn't even let herself thing of it…she couldn't let him get beyond that holding cell in the squad room", the thoughts raced through Olivias mind.

So she did the one thing she could think of in what was left of her sanity, she dialed Edgar Goodwin's number. Elliot would need an attorney. He would need an attorney and he would need the best work both squads could give. One thing at a time, she needed to pace herself, he needed her to pace herself.

"Hello, Edgar, it's Olivia, do you have a minute?"…