Note: so... it's been a hot second since I updated this. Fortunately I am now playing in two campaigns so I've got lots of material, which means that every stupid decision the team makes is based on actual stupid decisions my friends made. Enjoy!
It had been a long week. They'd had two cases going at once, and Gibbs' coffee machine had broken so he was in a worse mood than usual. Tony was looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. Just him and James Bond. Then Abby ruined his life.
"You ready for tonight's game Tony?"
Tony nearly choked on his sandwich, "The what?"
"The game! We're going over to McGee's house tonight, remember?"
"Oh yeah of course."
He was really regretting this DND thing.
He showed up at McGee's an hour later, arms full of popcorn and other snacks. If he couldn't watch his movie he was at least going to eat popcorn.
"Alright so we open on top of a cliff overlooking the sea. You are surrounded by dark woods and thunder and lighting crash around you.
Ahead of you you see a glowing light. The light gets closer on you see a grizzled old gnome, bundle in his cloak against the rain. What do you do."
"Drop kick the gnome and steal his money."
"No Tony!" everyone said in unison.
"I ask him if he knows the way to the mansion," Abby said.
"The gnome cackles maniacally, 'I sure do' he says 'just go straight up the path can't miss it. course I wouldn't go there if I were you. They say it's haunted.'"
"Why are we going to this place again?" Tony asked
"Because we're adventurers tony! It's what we do." Abby said, throwing a piece of popcorn at him.
"I vote we continue down the path," Jimmy said.
"Alright so you make your way down the path, roll athletics."
"Why?"
"The path is basically a mud puddle cause of all the rain."
They all rolled. Naturally Jimmy, Abby, and Ziva all rolled high. Tony got a 4."
"Ok everyone else made it up the path fine. Tony you slipped and fell on your face."
"This game is rigged."
"Your party finally reached the top of the cliff and is able to see the mansion. The cliff itself looks like it's about to fall into the sea, but the mansion looks like it's brand new. It's gigantic, at least three stories tall with carvings on the walls and archways at the entrances, but the weirdest thing is that inside you see torches burning."
"I've seen enough horror movies to know where this is going, all in favor we go back down and pretend this never happened?"
"Come on Jimmy, it'll be fine."
"I say we sweep the building first, make sure there aren't any traps that will kill us if we try to enter," Ziva suggested.
"Good idea."
"Roll perception Ziva," McGee said, handing her the dice.
"I got a 17."
"Alright, Ziva you notice a tripwire at the entrance that would cause a giant ax to fall on you if you don't disarm it."
"Well that's no way to welcome a guest," Tony said.
"How do we get rid of the trap McGee?" Ziva asked.
"Whoever has the highest proficiency in sleight of hand should do it."
It ended up being Tony and for once he managed to make a good roll and successfully disarm the trap.
"You all push the door open and enter the building. As soon as you do, all the lights go out."
"Well that's great."
"You see three separate hallways leading off from the main room, what do you do?"
"We should split up, cover more ground," Abby suggested.
"Alright, I'll go left, Jimmy and Tony go down the middle, and Abby goes right, sound good?"
"Yep!"
"Ok so you all move down your separate tunnels, Ziva lets start with you..."
"Wait, I'm a moron," Abby said slapping herself in the head, "Don't split up the party is basically dnd rule one."
"Oh we are so dead," Jimmy said looking at the board in horror.
"Well too late now," McGee said cheerfully, "So Ziva we start with you..."