Chapter Three – Trust Fall
To everyone's chagrin, Cyclops has an idea for a new team building training exercise. A training exercise, which requires a broken up Rogue and Gambit to work together. Can Rogue allow herself to still trust Remy?
"All right everyone, listen up," Scott called out to the gathered team. No one stopped talking or turned to pay attention to their fearless leader. He had summoned everyone to the Danger Room for a training session, but the room remained in a neutral state without a trace of any of the usual elaborate, doomsday scenarios. Clearing his throat, Scott tried again. "Good afternoon, let's get started."
When the second attempt made no more impact than the first, he tried a third time, this time with the help of Emma Frost. She projected his voice directly into the team members' minds. "Listen please. We're going to begin today's session with something a little different."
Unable to ignore the mental intrusion, the team stopped talking and paid attention. Gambit moved a bit closer to Rogue. Though he didn't touch her, her body was acutely aware of his presence. It was as if every nerve ending was drawn to him. She wished she didn't feel this way; it made staying away from him all the harder. And she was the one who'd asked for the separation, so she was the one who needed to maintain the distance.
Finally the center of attention, Scott gave a nod of thanks to Emma who smiled smugly. Jean was the only one who dared look away, and no one blamed her. Scott cleared his throat and began again, "All right, let's begin. It's come to my attention that we haven't been working as a team as efficiently as we ought. In order to remedy this shortfall, I decided we will participate in some team building activities."
There was a general chorus of groans at the mention of team building activities. Someone from the back called out, "I'm not doing trust falls."
A shiver ran down Rogue's spine. She could almost hear Gambit purr, "I'll catch you anytime, chère." Though, he didn't say a word. More than anything, she wanted to feel his arms around her again, but she didn't deserve it. It wouldn't be fair to him.
"No, um, we decided against trust falls." He glanced over at Emma. Though she nodded encouragingly, her face had settled into a blank, distant mask. Like she was above anything as plebeian as teamwork. While Scott finished his instructions, Emma studied her nails. "I want everyone to pair up with someone standing near you. Then, I'll explain the rest of the exercise."
As if by instinct, Rogue turned to Remy. "Want to be my partner, swamp rat?"
"Sure," he drawled and moved so he stood beside her. "What do you think ol' one eye has in mind?"
"Ah dunno." She shrugged. "Something 'teamy,' Ah suppose."
After everyone settled back down and separated into their distinctive pairings, Scott turned to the nearest X-Man—Bobby—and handed him a box. "Please hand these out, one for each pair."
While Bobby handed out dark strips of fabric to each pair, Scott continued. "We're going to take turns leading our partners through an obstacle course." As if by magic, said obstacle course materialized behind Scott when he mentioned it. "Now for the team building bit. One partner will be blindfolded while the other's eyes remained uncovered. The partner who can't see will therefore need to rely on their partner to get them through."
"Ah ain't doin' it." Rogue groused, louder than she meant. "Ah already lost my sight once, don't need to pretend Ah can' see to learn how to trust folk."
"Me neither. I just got my sight back. Not something I want to experienced again." Gambit agreed. He held the blindfold in his hands, folding it into a neat rectangle.
She watched his hands, her imagination going wild at the thought of him whispering in her ear all the salacious things they could be doing instead while blindfolded. While her mind raced, he remained a perfect gentleman. Her cheeks flushed a brilliant crimson at her thoughts.
"Rogue," Scott said with mild compassion, "Gambit," he continued with remarkably less concern, "we are all participating. No exceptions."
"Den why ain't Logan here." Gambit called out, not willing to give Scott an inch.
"He was busy this afternoon," Scott said a little too quickly, ready with the excuse before it was voiced. "Anyways, we want this exercise to run smoothly."
Comments such as "So much for mandatory" and "lucky bastard" were heard among the rustle of laughter running through the room. The rest of them might protest at the prospect of forced team bonding, but Logan would refuse—possibly violently—to stick around for the show. Rogue wished she was feeling brash enough to just leave. But, then she'd either be leaving Remy in the lurch without a partner, or getting him in trouble as he followed her out. She didn't want to be responsible for either.
"Let's see. The, uh, shorter person in the pair will be blindfolded first. The person who can see will talk them through the obstacle course. If you fall or get knocked off an obstacle, you'll need to start back at the beginning. Once you get to the other end, switch the blindfold with your partner and come back the other direction. Any questions?"
There was a general murmur of discontent, but no questions.
As the others began to ever so begrudgingly comply with the instructions, Rogue closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose. The mere thought of the cloth over her eyes dredged up memories of her days of impaired vision. Unable to see, yet still sensitive, she flinched at every change in the light. After the initial surgery, the world had been dim and shadowy. There had been no way to distinguish one object from the next. She couldn't tell if she stood next to lamp or a person. As the days passed and her vision improved, though the world had turned into a blurry semblance of normality. It took her even longer before her eyes could track fast moving objects. The thought of accidentally bumping into someone had terrified her. Drawing into herself, she pulled away from human contact even more than her usual habit. She was scared and alone and even more certain than ever before that she was a menace to society.
Rogue shook as the memory came back to haunt her. She'd claimed she didn't need this exercise in trust, since she'd actually been blind for a spell. But, that wasn't actually true. She had't trusted Gambit. He'd offered his help and she pushed him away. Though she knew without a doubt he was sincere in his offer, she acted like she still believed his pursuit of her was a game. Why did she keep doing that?
"If you don't want to go first, I can." Gambit stood so he faced her. He reached around to smooth her hair and tuck loose strands behind her ear. Like always, his careful, gentle caress soothed the jangled ends of her nerves.
"Nah, let's just get this over with." She closed her eyes and allowed Remy to tie the blindfold over her eyes.
Without catching or pulling her hair, his long, dexterous fingers tied the ends of the blindfold into a secure knot at the back of her head. Finished with the task, he leaned in close and whispered, "Trust me."
"That ain't fair, swamp rat." Of course she trusted him. She trusted him to watch her back and lead her through the darkness.
Did she trust him to keep her heart safe?
With the blindfold in place and her unable to see anything but darkness, Remy held her glove covered hands and began leading her towards the start of the obstacle course. "Just a few more steps chère. Now, go to your left and take a step up. The step is 'bout half the hight of the steps leading upstairs."
Around her, she heard others curse as they missed the step or stumble as they lifted their feet too much or too little. Rogue's foot landed exactly where it needed to be.
"'M gonna stay this far in front of you," Remy said when they waited on the top of the steps as she accumulated to being without her sight. He placed a hand on her elbow and she could feel his breath on her face when he spoke. From all the time they spent together, she could picture exactly where they stood in relation to each other. He was close enough she could clearly hear his voice even if he was speaking quietly, close enough to to catch her if she started to fall, all the while keeping the perfect distance so they wouldn't accidentally touch.
"Thank ya," Rogue forced her breathing to remain calm. He was too good at reading body language for her to allow her walls to crumble in his presence.
He leaned in close enough to whisper in her ear. "You want to get dis done in half the time while sticking this travesty of a training exercise to our oh-so-fearless leader—who, mind you, is refusing to participate?"
Rogue nodded her agreement, though curiosity and caution mingled at the mischievous tone to his voice. She covered the thrill being with Remy gave her with a sardonic lilt to her inquiry. "What do ya have in mind, swamp rat?"
"We both go through de obstacle course blindfolded." His words were a low rumble meant for only her to hear.
"What? Ya carry 'round spare blindfolds just for fun?" She scoffed, once again trying (and failing) to keep her thoughts out of the bedroom.
"Non. Pilfered an extra one out of de box. Figured it might come in useful." She didn't need to be able to see to recognize the insouciant smirk tugging at his lips.
"Is that what you'll tell your girlfriend?" More upset with herself for her lack of control, she pushed him away verbally.
"Chère... Dere ain't anyone..." This close she could hear the ends of his hair brush his shoulders. His hand briefly left her elbow before returning to her hands as he lead her another few steps forward. "Never mind, ain't important. We should get started."
The way the other, overlapping voices reverberated around the room changed. It reminded her of the way sound echoed and bounced off a tight space. "We got a cave or something at the beginning?"
"Just a tunnel. We're gonna need to crawl through it. 'M gonna need to let go of your hands, but I'll be here going through the entire course with you." True to his word, Remy also got on his hands and knees and began crawling backwards. His face remained a few safe inches from hers. He kept a running commentary concerning the course, alerting her of every change of elevation, every turn, every change in terrain. Never once did she miss a step or fall. Never once did he get too close that she feared accidental skin contact.
She fell into the familiar, comfortable rhythm of his words. His smooth, rich patois washed over her in like a caress. Behind the blindfold, she closed her eyes as she remembered all the times he had whispered sweet nothings and intimate promises. All the times he showed her with word and deed how much he wanted her, how much he loved her. That he thought she was worth pursuing when she was convinced the risk didn't outweigh the reward.
A lump formed in her throat she couldn't quite swallow back. No matter how many times he proved himself to her, she kept pushing him away, leaving him behind, rejecting his offers. Because...because she was afraid. Because she didn't want to be hurt. Because she wasn't worth that kind of love after what she'd done...
But, it didn't stop her from wanting him. Needing him. Only, she didn't deserve his love. It wasn't fair of her to keep playing with his feelings, not when she was the one to kept denying what they meant to each other.
Her hand slipped, but before she could lose her balance, Remy placed his hand on her elbow. The gentle pressure was enough to guide her hand back in place, to keep her from spilling off the perch they edged along. He always knew exactly what she needed, even when she wasn't so certain herself. "Sugah, are you really going through this backwards."
"Oui. Just need a pair of heels and you could call me Ginger Rogers."
She laughed at the image. "Ya think you're so clever, donchya, swamp rat?"
"O' course I am." He held her hand as he helped her to her feet. She savored the warmth and surety of his touch. "Now, we need to do some leaps. We got some gaps between platforms. And de platforms don' look very sturdy, so we take it one at a time. D'accord?"
"Ah could just fly us over." Rogue felt the distance grow between them as Remy moved to the side so she could feel along the edge of the first—and only stationary—platform with her foot.
"We're almost to de end. We can do dis the old fashioned way. Show ol' Scotty we can still work as a team. Now, stay there and let me cross to the other platform first." From the odd cadence of his movement, she knew without a doubt that he had just leapt between platforms backwards. He landed on the other side with a soft thmp. "Whoa. Bit wobbly. Give it a moment to settle and I'll guide you over."
Rogue backed up, carefully measuring her steps.
"Okay, it's settled down over here, I'm ready if you are."
With a succinct nod, Rogue waited for the rest of his instructions.
"Take three running steps, use the third to spring off the platform. I'll help guide your landing."
Rogue did as he instructed. As she made the leap, she realized she hadn't heard from the other groups in quite a while. She wondered if that meant they'd fallen behind or had long since surpassed them. No sooner had the thought entered her head, she felt Remy's hands on her waist, guiding her to the platform. She clung to him as it wobbled underfoot.
"You're doin' good chère. Take all de time you need. We got two more of these platforms, then we get to leap back onto solid ground and reach the finish line. I think it will be easiest if we leap across the unstable platforms together." He squeezed her hand, a promise he'd stay at her side no matter what.
Pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind, she squeezed his hand in return. "Let's do this. Just let me know when."
He tapped her feet with his toes, setting her feet in place to make the jump with ease. "We're good. On de count of trois."
She nodded. "On three."
"Un...deux...trois."
They leapt to the next platform. It shook and wobbled, but even then, she could tell they had landed in the middle of the platform.
Following the same pattern, they made the next leap without a misstep or falling from the platform.
"One more, chère," Remy intoned in a low voice which sent a sensuous thrill down her spine.
She had told him she wanted distance to make up her mind. To know that when she loved Remy, it wasn't because he was her only option. And now she didn't know how to admit she might have been wrong. She didn't need space to know her mind. There really was only one man for her.
"...Trois." They jumped, this time when they landed the floor under her feet remained steady. Still she kept a tight hold around his arm like she needed to anchor herself.
Remy didn't protest or try to pull away. Rather he clapped his hand over hers and held her tight. After a long moment, he broke the silence with a voice strained with longing. "Chère..."
She released her hold and stood still as if waiting for his next instruction. Though she couldn't see him through the blindfold, she could picture him swallowing hard and holding back whatever he was about to say. She'd pushed him too far, too often. She had no one but herself to blame. He'd always been there. Waiting. And now, they were too far separated, too broken. But, at least they could still trust each other. Maybe someday, someday they could be friends again. Best friends. She missed him.
Taking both her hands in his, Remy cleared his throat. "The finish line is 'bout three meters straight ahead. I don' see anymore obstacles, but let's take this carefully just in case One Eye thought to trip us up with a last minute surprise."
At an even pace, they made their way across the remaining distance.
"How? You can't...How?" Scott stammered from nearby her elbow. "You never went back to the beginning."
Rogue yanked off the blindfold. It didn't snag or catch on her hair. For a moment, she shied from the light until her eyes grew accustomed to the sudden brightness.
Planting her fists on her hips, Rogue glowered at Scott. The rest of the teams were not even half way through the course. She watched as Bobby and Warren were sent back to the beginning as Bobby slipped off the balance beam and banged his shin against the wood with a sharp crack. "Ya said we were suppose to depend on our partners to lead us through the obstacle course. That's exactly what we did."
"Do we get a reward for being first." Remy slipped a blindfold up from over his eyes.
Flabbergasted, Rogue stared at him. He'd been serious. How had he led her through the course when he'd been blindfolded? How did he always find the way past the obstacles she contrasted?
"Just...just...go." Scott through his hands up and shook his head. As Rogue and Gambit left the Danger Room, Scott continued to mutter to himself about bending the rules.
Outside the doors, Remy lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her covered knuckles. "Until next time, mon coeur."
Turning to the left, Remy headed for the men's locker room, leaving Rogue behind. Her feet stuck to the ground, unable to move.
Rogue wished she had the courage to call him back as she had demonstrated the courage to trust him.