Ch. 3 You Have Feelings You Can't Contain
(DREW)
I wake up Wednesday morning to the smell of coffee. I see Clare in her robe in the kitchen, silver made of satin and lace, a gift from me for her birthday while we were dating. I always loved the way the robe brought out her eyes. Her hair is messy because she just woke up, but she looks beautiful. I remember this look, this early morning look when she's just awake, before she's had time to think.
"I'll take some of that," I comment, pulling my jeans on. She smiles softly and hands me a mug.
"Just a little vanilla half and half," she tells me as I take the mug. I smile wide at the fact that she remembers how I prefer my coffee.
We stand there a moment, watching each other sip our coffee, both of us smiling. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part but I think I feel that spark between us again. That spark that burned so hot and bright for most of our senior year, until Eli returned just before prom and that spark exploded.
The noise of a door opening down the hall breaks our gazes. We both watch as Adam walks sleepily from his bedroom. If the changes weren't so physical you would never know he'd spent the last several days in bed as his body healed. He comes out just like he just woke up after a late night. He's scratching his hair and yawning, it could be any other morning, except that it's not.
He's not wearing a t-shirt, not even a compression vest. His bare chest has some hair growth on it, his muscles defined and he's as tall as I am now. He's got stubble on his chin, he needs to shave, it's an odd thought.
"I knew I smelled coffee," Adam smiles grabbing a mug from the cupboard. Even his voice is deeper, he's got an Adam's apple and everything.
"How do you feel Adam?" Clare asks cautiously.
"I feel great, I finally feel entirely like me. You have no idea how amazing it feels," Adam smiles pouring himself some coffee and pouring creamer in it. Then he looks at me and looks at Clare. "You spent the night Drew?"
"Yeah, I did," I nod.
"Does this mean…" Adam begins when Clare speaks up quickly.
"It means Drew was worried about you. When he couldn't get a hold of you he came over and when he saw you I had to explain something. Jane and Lucas came by, Leland wanted to see me at the club and Drew came with me. I told him everything, he wanted to stay," Clare explains.
"What happened to you that night?" I question.
"I'd like to tell you, but I don't remember really, it was kind of a blur. I felt it though, my body changing, that hurt and felt very strange."
"What about the last few days?" I ask.
"I slept mostly, I was very tired. Clare checked on me a lot, gave me a pain pill whenever I needed it. Jane came to see me, I know that, I think she fed me her blood again," Adam says.
"Then you know she's a vampire?" I query.
"Yeah, she told me that second night on the dance floor. I thought she was joking at first, but she showed me. She told me Lucas and Leland and anyone working directly for Leland and not just the club is also a vampire or something else not entirely human."
"Did you know your doctor was a gnome?" I question.
"I think she mentioned that."
"You know you can't come to dinner tonight," I comment.
"Yeah, guess not, but I can't hide from Mom and Dad forever. We're going to have to explain somehow," Adam says.
"I figured I'd tell them you had the flu or something, and couldn't make it tonight. Your mom wouldn't come over when they leave in two days. Then we have three weeks to figure out what to tell them and how. You know Leland arranged this whole thing, maybe he knows what we can tell your parents. Something they will believe," Clare says.
"Yeah, that's a good point, we should talk to him tonight. After what you did for him yesterday he'll have to see us," I remark.
"What did you do for him yesterday?" Adam questions.
"She found a thief with her super power," Drew says.
"Super power? You mean your instinct around what people are thinking?" Adam asks.
"Yeah, but it's more than that," Clare says.
While we make breakfast Clare explains to Adam the full spectrum of her ability and why Leland called upon her last night. After breakfast Adam calls Jane and leaves a message for her that we want to see Leland tonight. I hang out at their apartment most of the day, going home in time to change before dinner with my parents.
"Adam has the flu so he's not coming, he sends his love but he feels terrible. Clare is taking care of him," I tell my parents when I walk into their house.
"Oh that's too bad, I'll call him tomorrow, it would be a shame to not see him before we leave," Mom sighs.
"Yes, but we can't afford to get sick just before we leave," Dad comments.
"Of course not, we'll see Adam and Clare when we come back. Maybe I should call Clare and make sure she's giving him plenty of liquids and…"
"Mom," I cut her off, "Clare can take care of him, she knows what to do for the flu."
Mom nods and doesn't say any more about it. I don't linger at my parents house and return to Adam and Clare's apartment when I'm done eating. Of course, I told my parents I was meeting Owen. When I get to their apartment they are watching TV and eating dinner. I tell them about dinner with Mom and Dad and then we watch TV, mostly in silence until there's a knock on the door.
"It's Jane," Adam says after looking at his phone. He gets up and opens the door and Jane greets him with a kiss.
"Leland will see you, there's a car waiting downstairs," Jane tells us.
"Shouldn't we drive ourselves?" I question.
"He insists that I accompany you and you're taken by one of his drivers for your safety," Jane replies.
I'm not sure how us driving ourselves would be unsafe, but I'm not going to argue. Clare and Adam change clothes, get on shoes and Clare grabs her purse before we follow Jane to the waiting car. It's a different car from last night, and Lucas isn't driving. Our driver tonight is a large guy though, taller than Owen, dark hair, lots of muscles. This car is more of a town car, not quite a limo but the backseat is larger with more space than average and there's a partition between us and the driver.
When we get in the car Jane links her arm through Adam's and cuddles up to him for the entire trip. The way they're gazing at each other Clare and I may as well not be here. It is nice to see my brother so in love though. When we drive past the club to park in the back I see a long line again. Just like last night we go to the back and Jane swipes a card on the back door to let us in. She then leads the way to Leland's office.
"How are you feeling Adam? You look wonderful," Leland smiles at him.
"Thanks, I feel wonderful," Adam grins. "That's kind of why we're all here. We're going to have to explain to my parents and friends how I'm suddenly male. I can't very well tell them I was changed by a gnome in a back room of a night club."
"No of course not, you can tell them you had the surgery, a new experimental procedure and it had to be done quickly. Though it's probably best if you don't see your parents or other friends for a week or two in order for that story to work. I have a few doctor friends, human doctor friends, one of them will happily back it up. Give me a few days and I'll get everything together," Leland says.
"Our parents will go out and research it," I speak up.
"Then I shall be there the first time they see Adam," Leland says but doesn't elaborate.
"That was easy, let's go dance Adam," Jane says, dragging him toward the office door. I'm not quire sure that we're done or that everything is taken care of, but Jane seems to think so.
"Will you two be staying to enjoy the club?" Leland asks though he's only looking at Clare. I don't particularly like the way he's looking at her.
"No, I'm pretty tired I think I should go home," Clare replies.
"Yeah, me too," I nod, "and my car is still at your apartment."
"I'll have Brody take you home again," Leland says and then brings out his phone and sends a text. A few moments later the large guy that drove us here stands in the office doorway. "I'll see you again soon Clare," Leland smiles at her before we leave.
"Didn't feel like dancing tonight?" I ask Clare when we're alone in the car. I'm glad this one has a partition so that Brody can't hear us.
"Not really, I think Leland has a way of watching me and it's a little unnerving. You want to hang out? We could watch movies or something. Jane is great, and Adam is better and very happy now, but I don't know how well I'm going to be able to sleep," Clare says.
"I'd love to hang out," I smile and Clare grins back.
(CLARE)
"I'm gonna stay at Jane's tonight, possibly all weekend," Adam comments as he sticks his wallet and phone into jeans.
"As opposed to last weekend and the week before?" I tease him.
"I have been spending a lot of time with her I guess," Adam says looking guilty.
"It's good Adam, really, I'm only teasing. I'm really happy for you, Jane is great. Have you decided if you're going to let her turn you?"
"Not yet, it's a lot to think about, I'm still getting used to being in the right body. To having girls look at me and bat their eyelashes at me the way they do Drew and Owen. Becoming a vampire for all eternity isn't a light decision."
"No, it's not, but at least you wouldn't have to explain to your parents," I remark.
Last week Adam's parents returned from vacation and we all went to dinner at their house. They were...well I'm not sure there is an accurate word to describe what their reaction was. We told them what Leland had told us too, that there was a new experimental procedure and Adam qualified, taking the place of someone else last minute. We gave them the contact information of the doctor that Leland gave us. They called him the next day, and the doctor invited them down to his office. Apparently, Leland was there, and after that his parents have had no questions and are just very happy that Adam is finally on the outside who he's always felt on the inside. I'm sure Leland did the Jedi mind trick on them that Jane did to Adam that first night to get him to make out with her.
"You could come you know, hang out at the club, dance, I'm sure Leland has a room you could stay in at his house," Adam offers.
"I've got plans, I'm meeting Owen and Drew tonight," I reply.
"You've been spending a lot of time with them, actually about as much time as I've been spending with Jane."
"I suppose I have," I shrug. It's true though, with Adam so busy with Jane I've been spending a lot of time with Drew and Owen. Owen saw Adam the first time a couple of weeks ago, well the first time since his transformation. We told Owen the same thing we told the Torres parents. I'm not sure Owen completely believed us, but he didn't press, and I'm sure that he didn't think it had been done by a gnome.
"You could all come to the club," Adam comments.
"Yeah, I suppose, I'll mention it to Drew and Owen," I reply. Truth is I don't want to go back to the club because I don't like the feeling of Leland watching me and Lucas makes me nervous.
"I'll be home tomorrow, Monday at the latest," Adam says getting on his shoes.
"Tell Jane I said hi," I reply as he walks out.
I walk back to my room to change, just as I get my shirt off my phone rings. It's Drew, I smile when I see the picture attached to his number, I took it just after we began dating. Even after our breakup, when he accused me of cheating with Eli, I couldn't bring myself to take the smiling picture of him off my phone.
"Hi Drew," I answer and then put it on speaker so I can continue changing.
"Hey, we're gonna order dinner, we were thinking Giovanni's or Saffron Café? Which sounds better to you?"
"Mmmm, I'm feeling Italian tonight. Lasagna, salad with balsamic on the side," I tell him pulling on a light blue summer dress.
"Black cherry Italian soda?"
"Yep, I'm just changing, I'll be over in a few," I reply.
"Sounds good, we'll order now and it should be here soon after you get here."
I hang up with Drew and zip up my dress, slipping on my ballet flats and leave for Drew and Owen's apartment. I punch in the code to get into their building and knock on the door, Drew lets me in.
"Food will be here soon," Drew says as he locks up behind me.
"Good, I'm starving."
"Hey Clare," Owen smiles, "Adam with Jane again?"
"Yeah, he'll probably stay with her all weekend again."
"It's getting pretty serious," Owen comments.
"Yeah, but Adam is happy and Jane is good for him."
"At least he's having a good summer, he's finally in the right body, he's in love," Owen remarks.
"What? Not having a good summer? Don't like hanging out with me and Drew so much?" I question.
"I love hanging out with you two, but I wouldn't mind a date, or some excitement. We haven't done much but hang out and watch movies," Owen says.
"Adam did invite us all to the club, we could go after we eat, I'm sure we'd all be let right in," I tell him even though I don't really want to go to the club.
"Yes, that is a plan, dancing and hot girls in skimpy clothing," Owen grins just as the doorbell rings. Owen goes to answer the door and Drew comes over to me.
"You really not to go to the club? I thought you didn't like it there," Drew remarks.
"Will you stay with me all night?" I ask.
"I won't leave your side," Drew grins.
"Then I'll be fine," I smile back as Owen brings the food into the kitchen.
We eat and Owen changes he's hoping to hook up tonight. I'm already wearing a summer dress and I am sure that Leland will know I'm there already. Drew's wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt, he looks great to me. He doesn't change, so he's either not looking to hook up or he's happy with the way he's dressed because he's staying with me all night. When Owen is ready we leave for the club, Owen drives us in his SUV.
"Damn, that's a long line, we could be waiting a couple of hours," Owen says as we drive past the line to the parking lot.
"Somehow I doubt that," I remark. I've only waited in line once and that was the first night Adam and I came. We weren't in line long before we were pulled out of line and taken into the club.
"I hope not, I want to get in there and dance, meet some hot chicks," Owen comments as he parks. As soon as the car is parked my door opens, it surprises us all. I gasp and then suck in that breath when I see it's Lucas.
"Leland was hoping you were in the SUV," Lucas comments offering me his hand to help me out of the car.
"Dude how the hell did you get here so fast and how did you know Clare was in my car," Owen asks as he and Drew get out of the car.
"I'm betting that Leland has really good cameras and he knows Clare's car, Adam's car, my car and yours including the license plates," Drew comments quickly coming to my side and taking me from Lucas.
"You're not as dumb as you look Drew," Lucas remarks. "Leland has insisted that Clare and Adam be allowed into the club immediately whenever they come. As you two are her guests you can follow us in," Lucas says. His voice makes it clear that Owen and Drew are only being let in because they're with me. I'm honestly not sure if Lucas doesn't like that they're here or Leland doesn't.
"Guess I'll have to bring you or Adam any time I want to get in," Owen comments under his breath but Lucas hears.
"If you don't want to wait in line," Lucas comments as the bouncer opens the front door for us. I have to wonder if the bouncer and the doorman are vampires too, it's hard to tell. Most of what I'm seeing from them is boredom right now. "Clare, Leland would like you to use his private booth tonight," Lucas says.
"Thanks, we can get there from here," I comment, taking Drew's hand. Owen is already prowling the dance floor for women to dance with. I'm sure if Owen wants to find us again tonight he will. Lucas seems to get the message and leaves us disappearing into the crowd I don't know how he does that so quickly.
"Does Leland have cameras in his private booth?" Drew questions.
"Probably, but I'm not going to refuse."
"Lucas still looks like he wants to eat you, probably literally. I've only seen Leland once though, does he want to eat you or date you?" Drew inquires.
"I'm not sure he wants to do either, he may only want me for my ability. He seems to have more confidence in it than I do," I remark seeing Leland's booth is empty. We sit down and turn the tablet toward me to order a drink, last time I sat here Leland paid for it all. I wonder if he's going to be as generous tonight.
Drew orders a drink as well and they are brought out to us in a few minutes. We sit together sipping drinks and looking around the club. I have no idea where Owen is, something tells me Drew and I will be finding our own way home.
"Hey, you guys made it," Adam grins coming over with his arm around Jane.
"Yeah, Owen wanted to come to the club and according to Lucas, Leland offered us his private booth again," I reply while Jane and Adam sit down.
"If Leland didn't want you here he would have had you removed from his booth already," Jane remarks.
Her comment just confirms to me that Leland has cameras or something in the booth. Jane and Adam both order drinks and sit with us for a while, then they convince us to go out to the dance floor. Drew and I stay on the dance floor for about half an hour, but then I'm tired and return to the booth. I order another drink and a large ice water, Drew does the same.
"I haven't seen Owen all night, and I kind of doubt that we will at this point. Adam will undoubtedly stay the night with Jane. Do you want to call a cab and stay at our place? You can sleep in Adam's room since he won't be home, but I think I've had enough of the club for one night," I say after finishing my drink.
"Yeah, I think I'm ready to go home," Drew nods.
We start to get up and all of sudden Brody is standing at the booth. I know he's a vampire (or something) and moves quickly, but it's still surprising to see him there all of a sudden. I gasp and Drew instinctively puts his arm around me.
"Leland wants me to drive you home," Brody tells us.
"Okay, thanks," I nod.
We follow Brody out to the back of the club and he takes us to the town car. Brody opens the door and then goes around to the driver's seat. This car has a partition, but I still don't feel comfortable talking in the car. Apparently, neither does Drew as we're silent all the way home. Drew does text Owen though to let him know that we left.
"Leland definitely has cameras in the booth. I can see why you wouldn't feel comfortable going to the club, Leland seems to watch everything you do," Drew comments.
"Yeah," I nod, "I'm going to hop in a quick shower. You can borrow some of Adam's clothes and find a movie for us. I'll be out in a few minutes."
Drew grins and goes back to Adam's room to change clothes. Adam spent a good portion of his savings buying new clothes to fit his new body, but he and Drew are almost the same size now. I go into mine and into my washroom, starting the shower. After rinsing off quickly and washing the smell of the club off me I change into pajamas. Drew not only has a movie cued up but has dessert for us both. This is one of the things I loved about him when we were dating, he's so thoughtful and nurturing. We eat dessert and brush our teeth after the first movie, then we watch a second and end up falling asleep together on the sofa. We don't wake until Drew's alarm goes off.
"I have to get to work, If Adam comes home today let him know I borrowed some clothes. I don't feel like going home to change," Drew says with a yawn as he gets up.
"I don't think Adam is coming home until Tuesday when he'll need clothes for work. What hours are you working today?"
"All day, eleven to eight with an hour for lunch around three."
"I'll drop you off since you don't have your car here and then I could come by and have lunch with you if you'd like?"
"I'd love that," Drew grins.
I flash him a smile before walking back to my room to get dressed. I take Drew to work, drop him at the mall, do some grocery shopping and cleaning when I get home. About 2:30 I go to the mall, parking in the lot and walking in to Drew's kiosk. He grins when he sees me and closes the kiosk up putting on a sign that he'll be back in an hour. We walk to the food court and he buys us both lunch.
"How's work?" I ask as we begin eating.
"It's alright, the money is pretty good but I think I might start looking for another job. I just don't know if anything will have the same pay and flexible hours when I'm back in school," Drew comments.
"Not enjoying the mall anymore? I thought you liked all the women flirting with you at the kiosk," I tease him.
"Not at all because it's usually twelve-year-olds or forty-year-olds flirting with me. On the days when I'm not busy it's just hours of sitting there," Drew complains.
"That does sound pretty boring," I remark.
"Yeah, like today has been pretty slow, and the best part of it has been having lunch with you," Drew says and I smile. "Although, having lunch with you would be the best part of my day even on a busy day," Drew adds reaching across the table to caress my hand.
I smile and don't pull my hand away, it's a good thing he can't see my emotions because he'd see how much I still love his touch. I bite my lip and feel butterflies in my stomach, but then I feel like we're being watched. I glance around and see Zoe glaring at us from a few tables away. I see nothing but anger, jealousy and malice in her right now and I shiver.
"You cold?" Drew asks.
"No, were being watched," I remark moving my eyes toward Zoe.
"Yeah, she's here a lot, she watches me at work but never comes over. She's one of my biggest regrets ever, maybe the only one I wish I could travel back in time and take back," Drew says.
"Sleeping with her?" I question and feel a pang as I think about that fact.
"Flirting with her, ever looking at her at all. I only paid any attention to her because you were still with Eli and I wanted you," Drew says. His voice remains calm and even, but I see a big flare of jealousy and animosity in Drew when he talks about Eli.
"I think she still has a thing for you, considering how she sits there watching," I comment.
"I've been single for over a year, she's been coming to the mall for over a year. If she still had a thing for me, she had all that time to say anything to me and she hasn't. I think she just doesn't like seeing us together, because she knows I never even would have glanced at her if you weren't with Eli. She knows she meant nothing to me and never will, and that you are very important to me, and you mean everything to me," Drew says. I smile and lean across the table to kiss Drew's cheek.
"I haven't heard anything from Adam, I'm sure he's staying at Jane's again and will be home tomorrow. I could pick you up after work and take you home to get clothes and your car. Then you could stay over again, if you want to?" I offer when I walk Drew back to his kiosk after lunch.
"I'd love to," Drew grins.
"Great, I'll be waiting for you at eight," I smile.
I drive home with a smile and return to the mall just before eight to pick up Drew. I take him to his place and he says he'll be over soon. He does spend the night again, but this time he sleeps in Adam's bed. Drew is in the shower when Adam arrives home, wearing a huge smile as he has been for the last few weeks. Adam and Drew both leave about the same time to get to work. Both Adam and I got scholarships so he only works part time to pay for the things the scholarship does not. After surviving cancer my grandparents all gifted me money for college, so thankfully I don't have to have a job. I don't see or hear from Drew for a couple of days, but then he calls Wednesday night.
"Hey, you doing anything tonight?" Drew asks.
"Nope, just hanging out."
"Owen's gone for the night, you and Adam want to get some dinner? Maybe catch a movie?
"Actually, Adam is with Jane tonight, but it sounds good to me."
"Great, I don't work tomorrow why don't I come pick you up?"
"Sounds good, I'll see you in a bit," I smile and hang up.
We eat at one of our favorite restaurants and then go to the mall to see a movie. Drew invites me back to his place for dessert and I stay to watch another movie.
"Why don't you sleep here? I don't work tomorrow, we could hang out again. The weather will be good maybe we could hit the beach, or even take a day trip to Wasaga," Drew says when the movie is over.
"Sounds great, but if we're going to the beach you'll have to take me home for my swimsuit."
"Easily done," Drew grins. "Why don't you take my bed and I'll take the sofa. I have no idea when Owen last changed his sheets, so I'm not subjecting either one of us to that."
"It's not as though we haven't shared a bed before and it seems silly for you to sleep on your sofa. We're both adults, I think we can share a bed without it getting too awkward," I comment.
"Yeah, we can," Drew smiles a little bigger.
We do sleep in one bed, and all we do is sleep, while I am feeling some of that old spark for Drew I'm not ready to take it that far yet. I don't know if we're progressing to a new relationship or a great friendship yet. We spend all of Thursday at the beach, even picking up lunch to bring with us. We eat dinner at a taco stand close to the beach before Drew takes me home. He works all day Friday and Saturday, so I don't hear from him again until Sunday. He shows up at the apartment with breakfast, stays all day, we watch the Canada Day fireworks from the buildings roof, and Drew sleeps over in Adam's bed again.
He works all day Monday and Tuesday, so I don't expect to hear from him until Wednesday at least. When I don't hear from him Wednesday I don't think anything of it. I am a little surprised when Owen calls me Wednesday however.
"Hey Owen."
"Drew's not answering, will you tell him he can stay at your place as long as he likes but he still has to send me his part of the utilities and rent," Owen says.
"Drew's not here. What do you mean he's not answering his phone?"
"I've been calling and texting him since yesterday. I thought he was ignoring me because you two had gotten back together."
"We're not back together, we have been hanging out a lot recently. When was the last time you saw him?"
"Tuesday as he was leaving for work, you?"
"Monday morning when he left here to go home and change for work. That means neither of us has seen or heard from him for over a day," I remark as I start to panic.
"I'm on my way over, call Adam and see if he's heard from Drew," Owen says and hangs up.
Adam is at work, and I don't want to freak him out, but I'm worried that neither Owen nor I have heard from Drew in two days. I have this terrible feeling and I want to know what happened to Drew. Where is he? Why haven't we heard from him?