cross-posting on AO3. pick your poison, fellas.

shortest chapter to date but i swear that these will get longer as we progress through the story. maybe... anyway, i don't have much to say for this chapter. i had a bit of writer's block and i'm not too sure how bad that affected my writing since i couldn't quite figure out how to essentially put down words even though i knew exactly where i wanted to take this. regardless of my grips about this, i hope you all enjoy even if i think i can do a lot better... just not sure how. (｡-人-｡)

a forewarning though. read carefully because i am aware this can cause confusion but it's meant to be that way since the MC is, well... confused. huehuehue.

speaking of the MC, if you want to see what Lexa looks like, check my profile, especially my profile picture! that's pretty much what this cosmic play—i mean, this lovely lady looks like!

and yes i am still sickly mofo. i shiver and my bones fall through my body.

III

break

Nothing worked. Not a damn thing she did worked. Zero, zilch, zip, nada, nothing. Every time Lexa tried killing herself, she would just end up back in bed, completely fine—well, as fine as she was prior.

(Which was to say, not at all, being bedridden, but Lexa digressed.)

Still, it was like a game, a so-called respawn of sorts. When she attempted, everything would go dark and she'd felt weightless, unable to see anything until the weightless feeling was gone, her eyes opening to the ceiling of her hospital room, and—and that fucking message would be on the window every single time without fail.

You. Mocking her. May. Taunting her. Not. Ridiculing her. Die. Tormenting her. Every single time without fail when she opened her eyes after coming out of what she assumed was darkness.

Lexa did figure something out though. Well, aside from the inability to die due to some no-ball, fuckface entity or whateverthefuck was keeping her in this world. She was the only one who could see the message. No one else could, seemingly as her nurse looked a bit puzzled when she asked if the window could be cleaned and the nurse cited that there was nothing there.

In the end, the nurse was nice and Lexa got what she asked for. Luckily the message went away as the nurse gave the window a quick wipe down, and that marked the end of her attempts.

Because Lexa had tried almost everything she could think of. Her options were vastly limited, however, with being linked to a machine, but it was still exhausting experiencing death over and over again only for it to be…

Meaningless. Feel meaningless, too.

A scary thought.

The next day came and went. As Akari stated before, she was there early in the morning, almost as soon as Lexa woke up, but so was her father, too.

It was not as eventful as Lexa thought it'd be. She thought she would be happy to see her father, and while she was, the feeling was… barely there. Almost if she couldn't register it when he walked through the door, looking just as young as he had been when she was in her late teens in her old world.

Actually, her father was always young-looking, and he certainly didn't look to be in his late thirties that she knew he'd be around while she was eighteen, aging rather well. His leanly-built body was hidden underneath black slacks and a white button-up shirt with an overcoat that was a similar shade of black as the slacks. However, Lexa noted that his swept back hair wasn't brown, but rather black and shined just like the feather of a raven—having the same purple-blue sheen as hers underneath the lighting of the room. Just like before in the old world, they shared hair colors. His eyes though. His eyes remained so dark that his pupils couldn't be seen but somehow Lexa could feel warmth from them rather than a cold darkness.

"I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner, Lexa," he told her mournfully, deep voice soft. "I'm just lucky some of my superiors pulled a few strings and let me out for today."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Goro-san," Akari chimed, patting his shoulder. "You know our Lexa understands your position."

Ah, yes. In Japan, her father, Goro, was a military man. Like Akari said, Lexa understood that perfectly well when it came to emergencies like these. If she tried to complain about it, she'd have been the one who needed to apologize.

She told him about her condition as cheerfully as she could manage, but cheerfulness did not come naturally. So she feigned just enough to make herself less pitiful, watching the worry in her father ease some and they passed the time in idle chatter. Still, Lexa could barely feel anything, almost as if her body was on auto-pilot while her mind was elsewhere, numb to most stimulus.

Really, she should have been ecstatic that her father was alive and well, but somehow, the feeling was just… dulled. Yes, dulled. She was happy, but…

Hmm. Maybe it was because Lexa had more pressing matters? As much as she hated to admit it, that seemed to be the less concerning option as Lexa was very aware that she had problems on top of problems, some with herself. However, did she really have the time to acknowledge them with the ending of the world looming over her, especially with some unknown, godforsaken higher power keeping her bound to said world? Not exactly.

Ugh.

It wasn't before long that her father and Akari had to take their leave. Akari promised she'd be back, but Goro was far more hesitant to make such a promise, pausing at the door.

"I'll be okay, Papa," Lexa said, crafting a smile for him. It was a half-truth. Physically, yes, if everything went the same as before, but mentally? Mentally, Lexa wasn't so sure. "Just focus on work, all right?"

He smiled. Nodded.

Then Lexa was left alone with only the soft huffing of the respirator that sucked air out of her lung to keep her company.

Her treatment went according to schedule, and on Lexa's third day in the hospital, the pain had pretty much subsided thanks to the effects of the pleural drainage. The only problem with this, however, was…

Boredom. Nothing but sheer boredom. Akari came to see her every day, but Lexa couldn't even walk around on her own. She remained linked to a machine via a tube, and she had to have an IV drip twice a day. It was tough even getting to the bathroom, and of course, Lexa hadn't been able to shower for a couple of days, though she did receive a sponge bath.

At least it's not the basement, she told herself. That was the only saving grace. Her room did have a small TV, but even if she turned it on, the only shows that they aired were Japanese dramas that Lexa had no particular love for. She did give reading a try, reading some of the books that Akari brought, but Stephen King—and she was a little surprised he existed here with how media was fickle about including real-life people, characters, and brands due to copyright and trademark issues—wasn't able to quell her boredom as much as she liked.

So Lexa simply decided to pass the time in idleness. It wasn't relaxing by any means, but it still felt better than the alternatives.

Until the sixth day, that was, where Akari brought her mobile phone and where Lexa found out something strange. Instead of the old flip-phone she thought she'd have at eighteen, it was the smartphone she owned right before she was kidnapped by Kai. An iPhone, to be specific. Far more fancier than what her eighteen-year-old self back in her old world had access to and definitely not what Lexa expected she'd have in this world.

Is this why there is no year date? So I can have technology that mirrors my old world where I am, or at least was, nearly thirty? She pursed her lips. God, all this isekai nonsense was a pain to deal with, but when Akari left for the day, Lexa turned the iPhone on after having plugged it into its charger the moment Akari gave it to her.

Greeted with the sight of a silver apple on a black background, the seconds ticked by. Then. The lock screen came up, and she blinked. On the LCD screen of the smartphone was a photo that depicted her and Saeko, clearly set to be the wallpaper.

Specifically, it was a younger version of her and Saeko. She couldn't have been any older than fourteen in the photo, and she was sure the same could be said for Saeko, looking something akin to the flashback the anime had when Saeko talked about her would-be molester to Takashi. It was also very clear that Lexa… or rather this world's Lexa… had pulled Saeko into taking a photo, a so-called selfie with her arm loosely around Saeko's neck, giving the camera a wide grin that showed off fangs—holy cow, when the hell did she get those sharp bastards?—while Saeko had a far more reserved smile.

Yet Saeko's eyes shone with affection, not quite looking at the camera. Instead deep blue orbs were directed at Lexa, normally piercing but this wasn't the case for the photo, looking soft. Sort of like the way she looked at Takashi after—

Lexa did not finish the thought. She set the phone in her lap, face-down, and clasped her hands together, eyes closed almost in mock prayer.

...Okay. So. I am definitely a friend to Saeko. A gal pal. Pal that's a gal. Or at least she had better be, she thought bitterly. It wasn't like Lexa wasn't attracted to girls. In fact, Lexa didn't have a preference as far as gender went, but a relationship was something she didn't need thrown into her ever-growing list of problems. Not to mention that mentally Lexa was twenty-nine. Saeko was legal, yes, but barely so, with eighteen having long felt like a child to Lexa.

Ugh. Man, I hope that Saeko is straight with how the series depicted her being rather attracted to Takashi, even saying she had a crush on a man, but with how this fucking God or whatever likes messing with me is…

Carefully, Lexa took a breath, opening her eyes and picking up the iPhone. Almost as soon as she did, a notification appeared at the top of the screen. A text message from… someone called Unknown.

- UNKNOWN -
check your email

Her brow furrowed. What the hell was this about? Well, she didn't have anything to lose by not checking it, so she quickly navigated to the inbox of her email. She only had one, the sender being the very same person. Unknown.

From: UNKNOWN
To: Me
Date: 31st January, 20XX
Subject: Gift

this will be useful to you. think of it as compensation for the trouble i have caused.

[1 attachment.]

Compensation…?

Lexa stared at the screen unblinkingly, her grip slowly increasing on the phone as a surge of anger rose in her, boiling. Was this thing… communicating? She shook her head. Obviously, it was, but… Was it mocking her? Sure seemed so with how it actually thought some attachment would serve as compensation for not letting her die.

Her features morphed into a scowl, glaring down at the screen, at the [1 attachment.]. However, as much as Lexa didn't want to admit it, she knew this… entity or whatever… was persistent. So to save herself the energy, resisting the nearly overwhelming urge to cast the iPhone aside, she tapped onto the mail attachment. Immediately, the anger melted into confusion.

[Highschool of the Dead]

Lexa had to clear her eyes to see if it was a lie. The file extension was… a copy of the manga. The entire series, it seemed, going up to the very last chapter ever released, judging by the table of contents she saw. She wasn't sure what to make of this. All she could do was stare at the screen in confusion, wondering several things.

Is this what… Unknown… meant as compensation? Was this confirmation that this world would follow the events of the manga rather than the anime plotline? What else would this entity do?

Lexa pursed her lips, brow furrowed. She closed the mail app, opening up a browser and typed quickly with her thumb.

Highschool of the Dead|
About 19,500,000 results

While there were lots of results, the series itself did not exist and the search even tried directing her to other things. No matter how much she scrolled, clicking page after page, there was nothing that indicated it had ever existed. Lexa figured as much with how this world was reality to the characters, though searching up Satō Daisuke and Satō Shōji proved they existed because their other works showed up under their names.

Unconsciously, Lexa let out a small sigh, setting the phone down and glaring at the ceiling. She was beginning to think that trying to figure this all out when she wasn't even fully recovered was more trouble than it was worth, but she didn't have much time before spring.

The iPhone buzzed. She lifted it wearily to eye-level, seeing another text message from Unknown.

- UNKNOWN -
what i sent to you will stay with you no matter what. no one else can see it either. only you. use it well.

Ugh.

Lexa powered the iPhone off, pinching the bridge of her nose. She had some answers now, but this 'Unknown' character tended to raise more questions that she was sure would remain unanswered with how Unknown seemed so vague.

...So what do I do?

She wasn't entirely sure. The more she found out, the more questions she had with few answers. Not to mention that tomorrow would mark the seventh day since her arrival, a full week of her being in this world, and she was already so sick of it. Tired—

No, that wasn't quite right. Lexa was tired long before she came to this world. Actually, tired wasn't even the word, the more she thought about it. She was...

Broken. Kai's broken little toy that got promoted to some cosmic plaything. Her life wasn't her own. Not to end, not to even live anymore. Anything.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Lexa could hear snipping, threads being cut strand by strand. Lexa let out a weak laugh, feeling the edges of her vision starting to blur by the sting of tears. Strange how it was so comforting but so… humorous. She didn't even know why but something about the metaphorical threads being snipped just made her laugh and cry.

She sniffled, using the sleeve of her hoodie—brought by Akari—to rub at her eyes, before she turned to the window. Yesterday, it had started snowing with Tokonosu City looking like a winter wonderland. Supposedly, the snow wasn't supposed to come until next week, but tomorrow would be the 1st of February, so no one could really predict when it'd snow when that month was peak snowing weather.

Less and less time until spring. Until the beginning of the end. What was Lexa going to do until then? What would she do after then?

Finally, all the threads seemed to have been cut. Lexa smiled, letting out yet another laugh that was a little stronger but sounded broken. If the nurses or doctor heard, they'd probably be so very concerned. In the window's reflection, even Lexa couldn't deny that she looked maniacal, the grin tugged at her lips crazed and menacing with those sharp, sharp fangs. It reminded her of how Kai looked whenever he didn't put on his mask of perfection, having his scary, ugly, and true self exposed.

I know how this world will end, but I don't know the story's ending.

So Lexa would make one. Put on a big show, create the best ending possible.

Not like I'm allowed to do anything else even with my own sanity on the line. Though maybe I've lost that already.

She laughed. Oh well, she supposed.