"... but was unavailable for comment, having been already consumed by Hillary Clinton's ass."
The blue glow of South Park News flickered casual life in the living room of the Cartman residence. It was 1:12 am and little Eric had no will to let sleep trick him into the illusion of normalcy and ignorance. Instead, he allowed the news broadcast to fuel his anger, the fire that would soon propel him to his own personal brand of justice.
"Uhh, it looks like we just received an update on tonight's arrest," anchor Tom Thompson continued. "For those of you just joining us, an arrest was made by Park County Police Department at 10:54 pm this evening. Police apprehended and are processing a man known only as Mister Jefferson, the subject involved in a series of molestation accusations..."
The reporter droned on, an extremely unflattering mugshot of Eric's best friend almost seeming to illustrate the reporter's own bias point of view. A single tear ran down the boy's cheek as his local news painted the picture of a 'monster'. Eric's juice box crumpled in his tightening grasp. It wasn't true. That awful headshot was a lie. The harsh flash of their camera exposing every cosmetic imperfection Jefferson had at such a vulnerable lowpoint. The news got what they want. They chased down their boogeyman and now we can all sleep at night, right? It wasn't fair. Just when he finds someone who understands him and wants to be his friend, the police arrest him - story of his life. Eric was tired of making best friends - and having them arrested. It's wrong! But he glared on, using the media as his passion. He leered through his eyebrows, begging for a reason to act, praying for that spark to inspire him to take matters into his own hands. It was only a matter of time.
"... was taken away by police while they searched for the man's only known child, named Blanket, thought to be hiding within the house. Police are now confirming the child is not in the house or within any of the surrounding properties. Here with more, is A Sexually Secure Man at the Salon."
"Thanks Tom, I - oh, just clear today. Thanks Tom, I'm just down the street from where, as the locals now say, 'Hell opened its legs'. Shortly after the arrest of fucked up fuckface Michael Jefferson, a quick scan of the premises turned into a full-blown AIDS missing persons case."
Cartman had enough of this media circus. The man he once saw a fun-filled lifetime with of pony rides, ferris wheels, and video games, was forgotten by the world like trash. They all saw Mister Jefferson as some uncaring freak without one single chance for redemption. Everyone deserves redemption - that's what that fat black guy from Touched by an Angel said, anyway. Eric saw him as a kindred spirit. It was a prophecy of friendship. Just as quick as he was brought into his life, he was taken from him. And no one cared. All they could worry about was some gay kid.
Cartman was just as pissed enough to need to be eased with ice cream. He hopped off the couch and began to shuffle his slippered feet to the freezer.
"... but it was only after the immediate disappearances of 8-year-olds Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh that police confirmed all three boys leaving together!"
For the first time in Cartman's life, he halted his march to ice cream. What did those two have to do with this? What did they do?!
"... that the missing kids most likely ran into the thick brush on the edge of town, police are confident the little tikes will be found before official search parties are to be conducted."
"Fools," the boy muttered to himself, inching towards the glass screen of the television. "Your first mistake was trying to take him from me - trying to keep Mister Jefferson all to yourself, you filthy snakes-in-the-grass. And now you took him away - forever. But that wasn't the second mistake. The second mistake you made was thinking I would sit by let you avoid the consequences. And now..." Cartman crawled like a starved lion until his nose was pressed against the glass as he stared into the now-projected eyes of his childhood frenemy. "Now, I can break you. End you. Fool me once, shame on Jew. Fool me twice, shame on kewl. I'm gonna get you, Kyal. I'm gonna getcha..."
Daylight seeped right through one of Kyle's opening eyes, making him squint tightly. Rubbing some of the weariness from his eyes, he lifted his neck to observe their surroundings. Everything looked different in the morning. That, and they had been running all night, stopping for only moments, with no time to smell the daisies. He finally remembered his arrangement from possibly hours before: he and his long-time friend were castle walls around the vulnerable Blanket, now huddle into Stan's chest. Kyle could almost spot a slightest hint of a smile on the young child's face. How many nights had been worse than the night he just had? Or perhaps it was a simple reflection on the kindergartener, finding peace and solace in the sleeping hours.
It was all so much to take in. Kyle couldn't help compare their lives. The green-hatted boy was raised with parents who were as loving as they were strict, if not more. He couldn't imagine what kind up upbringing he would endure, or even the person he would be now, without the love and structure in his life. He looked down at the child, feeling himself getting heated thinking about the friends Blanket could have had. The camping trips he could come home from, knowing it was home. This kid had been through so much, and the most unfair thing Kyle could recall in his own life was a not-so-cool Hanukkah present. But Kyle let his anger turn into determination. Let Blanket's wretched past be prologue to a future of happiness. Let him know the life that was being kept from him on a daily basis. He was gonna change everything for him.
And that same smile that Kyle saw on Blanket's face found its way onto his own. Kyle found himself nodding at nothing when Stan's somnial fussing brought him back into the present. Right where Kyle wanted to be. Here was another reason to smile. Stan's sleeping arm seemed to absentmindedly tighten across Blanket's chest for a moment. Stan fussed once more before he began to wake up. The raven-haired boy instinctively snatched his blue tuque and stretched it over his head, its red poof ball bouncing in a juxtaposed comical fashion. Stan noticed Kyle's smile.
"What?" he chuckled.
"Your hat," the red-haired replied shaking his head.
Stan quickly tossed his poof ball to either side with his head to keep Kyle smiling. He was successful. Stan looked down at the last to wake up.
"You sleep okay?" Kyle asked.
"Meh. How 'bout you?"
Kyle chuckled once through his nose. "What do you think?" He retained his smile. Stan knew how stressed Kyle could get if he was passionate enough. This time around, the stakes weren't exactly at their lowest.
"Should we eat or get going?" Stan asked after returning his concern to the sleeping kid.
"Yes," Kyle answered. "I'll find something for us to eat. You make sure he gets as much sleep as he can before we have to move again."
"Might not be anything kosher out there," Stan joked as Kyle started towards some thicker clusters of bushes and trees.
"If I get ordained in the next five minutes, it won't matter," Kyle retorted along that humourous wavelength that seemed to tether the two together since they were kindergarteners themselves.
It wasn't too long after Kyle went foraging until Blanket began to toss and turn himself awake.
"H-Hey," Stan said.
"Hi," Blanket peeped groggily through sleepy eyes.
"You sleep alright?" Stan asked after a pregnant pause.
The small boy nodded rubbing his eyes.
"Where are we?" Blanket inquired scanning his temporary bedroom from that night.
"Somewhere," Stan began. "Somewhere else."
The older boy was hesitant, but eventually placed an open palm on Blanket's back. Kyle had been the provider of assurance and comfort during these events and, frankly, was making Stan feel like a spare tire. It wasn't anything Kyle said or did. At least not maliciously. Stan had the unfortunate habit of feeling useless and, only at times, would compare himself to Kyle. But it was the times that Kyle found something to stick to and overcome that made Stan feel like the Robin to his Batman. Times like these. Robin kicked ass in his own respects, but Kyle was one hell of a caped crusader. Stan knew that it was only the mindset of Robin that he assumed - Robin is the sidekick. It was time for Stan to be the Nightwing that Kyle deserved, that Blanket needed.
Blanket's eyes meeted Stan's and returned the contact with an honest smile. That touch of Stan's hand was a small display of that same comfort and protection Kyle effortlessly emanated. Stan treasured that connection, and would for the rest of his life.
"I think these are okay to eat," Kyle thought aloud looking at the current bounty within his cupped hand. "I think the bugs would be safer to eat, to be honest... I am not good at this."
Kyle's quiet templative moment with quickly broken with a blood-chilling shriek that definitely came from Blanket.
"OH SHIT!" Kyle dropped the questionable berries and dashed towards the cry. Light up the bat-signal and it's just a matter of time.