Longer chapter than what I have been putting out!

I'll probably post again by next Friday, if not earlier

Thanks for the reviews/reads!

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I shut the laptop and sighed. Online school was boring, but the idea of driving back to Forks High School had been nauseating. Nothing was left for me there, and LaPush was just about the only place I could stomach being. Even going to Port Angeles left me an incomprehensible mess, too fearful and depressed to really function.

Leaving once Charlie's house was sold and my schooling was finished was going to be agony.

It was now seven months since the Clearwaters had taken me in, and I was more at home than ever. From eight to three, the public library served as my safe haven, and then I beelined to Sue's kitchen table. Then I would spend the rest of the evening scouting colleges, trying to find a place that didn't sound too scary. The routine was soothing, and kept me grounded.

Each day was a step forward, but trying to uphold my decision to withdraw from Jacob had made every inch of progress a million times harder. It wasn't personal, but whatever was going on with Sam and the other young men of LaPush wasn't something I wanted involved in. My heart couldn't take knowing if they hurt people or if fate was as cruel to them as it had been to the Cullens. On top of that, Jake needed someone who would only have eyes for him.

Asking him to wait for a miracle was cruel and I couldn't keep hurting him.

Which was why I always slipped out of the back of the library rather than the front. He had figured out my never-changing schedule a while back, but he had stopped coming in when I'd quietly requested that he let me study in peace.

The forest faced this exit, and I was careful to hug the edge of it rather than cut through it. Paul's words about the woods had stuck with me. In fact, that entire encounter was always in the back of my head, guiding me when I needed to emotionally check-out. If I approached the disasters in my life with the attitude that it was out of my control, it made the shitstorm of my life easier to bear. Victoria, my mother, my father, Sam's group, the Cullens, and most of all Edward were out of my control. At the end of the day, the only person who listened to me was me.

The walk back to my safe haven was uneventful; Birds chirped, kids laughed and played, and I relaxed as the stresses of the day melted away. My favorite part of the path was when I hit the Clearwaters' half-mile long driveway. Sue landscaped the edges with fireweed which made all of the daisies and dandelions look plain, along with rock purslane. A sea of purple.

A beautiful day. I slowed down once I saw the Clearwater house to savor what time outside I could. There was still quite a bit left to do --

An inhuman screech broke out from the house.

Victoria. Terror filled me as I sprinted across the remainder of the gravel drive. I fell across the steps to the house and clawed open the door. Not them too.

Instead of seeing blood, guts, and an angry vampire, I was greeted with Leah on all fours on the floor, sweat marring her flawless skin and feverish eyes peeking out from long dark hair. Fur, coarse and silver, covered her face. Sue was on the other side of the kitchen with Harry leaning against her, his face ashen as if he had seen a demon.

Her shoulders, exposed from her ripped tank top, jutted out as if trying to rearrange themselves by about ninety degrees. The shrieks pouring from her mouth confirmed the agony that she was in.

It was a slow, awful process and her whimpers alone reminded me of when James had snapped my femur with his bare hands. And all I could do was stand there and watch, transfixed. A witness to someone being tortured.

"Bella, get Harry out of here." Sue's voice snapped me out of my trance. She was dragging her husband with a strength that shouldn't have been possible, stepping around the whimpering girl on the floor as if it were the last thing on her mind. "He's having a heart attack. An ambulance is on its way. Under no circumstances do you allow the paramedics to know about this, do you understand?"

Heart racing, I nodded.

Leah' father was pale and sweaty. Far from the funny man I'd grown fond of. His weight leaned heavily on me as we swayed out of the kitchen and out onto the porch. His daughter's screams were muffled by the wooden door shutting.

"No, no… not her. It can't be. It's not possible." He wheezed out. His eyes bulged with panic.

The sirens were growing closer, and they would hear Leah if they came anywhere near the house.

"Mr. Clearwater, we have to walk a little further, you have to stay calm, okay?"

He squeezed my shoulder in agreement, his breath coming in short bursts. We sludged through the gravel towards the drive, only sitting down when I knew it was safe. Within minutes we were in the ambulance, me in the front seat while Harry was in the back.

The next hour was a nightmare. Harry was worse by the time we reached the hospital, and I was designated to the waiting room, worthlessly twiddling my thumbs and praying that his family would be here soon. He needed someone other than me here, someone he loved and trusted. But I knew that Sue was dealing with an impossible situation. How could Leah withstand such pain? If Harry's words were to be believed, then there was no precedent for what she was going through.

It was after another three hours passed that my prayer was answered. Sue arrived with a grim set to her mouth, her clothes askew and hair thrown up into a rough ponytail. She glided past me to the receptionist desk. They spoke before she was escorted inside.

Relief had me sagging in my chair. My duty was done. I closed my eyes against the harsh lights.

Someone sat next to me. Warmth seeped into me as if someone had started blasting a furnace. "I drove Sue here, some of Harry's family is arriving soon, so we can go back now."

"I should stay."

"Sue's orders. You really shouldn't do this to yourself, honey." Jake sighed.

I cracked open my eyes to look at my friend. Shadows stretched across his face and he looked about as unhappy as I'd ever seen him. Except for at Charlie's funeral. Guilt hit me. Was this how he had felt watching me grieve my father? Helpless? And I had exacerbated the situation by ignoring him.

"Okay. Let's get out of here." I agreed. Jacob took my hand and together we left the emergency room.

The trip back to LaPush was quiet. Night had fallen since I had arrived in the ambulance, and the dreamy landscape stretching off into the moonlight helped calm my racing thoughts. Jake didn't say much. At some point, the thrum of the road lulled me to sleep, my head cranked back at an uncomfortable angle. Nonsensical images kept bouncing around in my brain where Harry and Charlie's faces kept getting mixed up. Staring as if to blame me for what had happened to them.

"Bells?"

I shrieked out of sleep, snapping back into reality. I flailed around, pushing Jake's hand off my cheek. The massive boy looked startled and concerned. We were parked and in the dark, and Jake was looming from the outside of the passenger seat door as if he had been about to lift me out of the car like a small child.

"I'm sorry," I panted, "really wasn't having a good dream."

He nodded and withdrew his hand. "We are at Sam's fiancé's house. Nobody's at my house and I figured you wouldn't want to be alone anymore."

How well he knew me. I followed after him into a small house glowing from all of the lights on. A few vehicles were lined up into the grass since the driveway wasn't very large.

Voices, mostly male, rumbled as we walked into a homey, cramped kitchen. Sam's crew, all who I recognized from the months I'd lived on the Rez, looked varying degrees of worried. Even cheerful Quil had shadows on his face. But that wasn't who caught my attention. Dark eyes snagged mine.

Paul Lahote stared into my very soul before his gaze drifted down to Jake's hand which I had just realized was on my waist. His lip curled in what appeared to be disgust.

My mood tanked. Here I was, in a room full of supernaturals. History repeating itself. Paul's words followed by Leah in agony on the floor was all the confirmation I had needed. I recalled the Legends, knew that this had to do with the Protectors who turned into wolves. Werewolves.

And one just so happened to make me feel like my body was on fire. The blush on my cheeks was humiliating, especially when Paul rolled his eyes at me. Like he knew that I couldn't pull my attention off of him.

Sam cleared his throat and everyone quieted down. "Bella."

"Sam." I wiggled out of Jake's grip, not liking the way it made me feel. Despite this meeting not being in my plans, it didn't mean that it wasn't important. The last thing I needed was supernaturals controlling my every move again. "Is Leah okay?"

Surprise crossed Sam's face. "No, but she'll be okay eventually. Jared is with her. Thank you for taking care of Harry while Sue handled the situation."

I blinked. Harry still might not make it so I really didn't do much. "You're… welcome." I managed, my mind racing. "So… I'll keep my mouth shut and mind my own business about the furry problem if you promise not to murder me in my sleep? Really would be cool if we could approach this whole issue on a need-to-know basis. In fact, it would be even cooler if we pretended none of this ever happened."

Quil coughed to hide a laugh as the others all stared at me as if I was insane. Jake tensed up beside me.

My eyes didn't move from Sam's. They could think I was crazy all they wanted, but vampires killed humans who knew their secret. Even if Jake was my best friend, I sure as hell didn't know what weird rules they followed. For all I knew, they all had some kind of weird hive mind or second personalities or some other sci-fi gimmicky bullshit.

Sam looked uncomfortable. "I am not positive that not telling you anything is a good idea. It might be dangerous."

"Yeah, well, I think it might be dangerous for me to know." I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Now can someone please take me back to the Clearwaters?"

He stared at me, clearly not amused at my demands. "Unfortunately, none of that is going to fly. You will understand our rules and the fact that you," he gestured towards me as if I were some type of object, "don't know them yet is because of someone being a stubborn jackass. Paul!"

"What?"

"Watch over Bella and do not come back until everything's been cleared up. We have enough going on with the Clearwaters without this mess."

Paul scowled at Sam with a viciousness that surprised me. "Yes, sir." He spat the word "sir" out as if it were the worst curse word imaginable.

The large werewolf stalked over, grabbed my hand, and snarled at a growling Jake in a voice too low for me to hear. When I resisted his tugging on my hand to exit the kitchen with him, he scoffed.

"Say goodbye to everyone, Isabella."

Before I could open my mouth to tell him off, I was over his shoulder and all of the wolves were upside down. Blood rushed to my face and head, and several snickers confirmed how stupid I looked. Paul walking towards the door jiggled me so much that it was impossible to retaliate in any way. Even when we were outside and away from the others, he maintained the humiliating mode of transport. Cool air bit my face.

He was surprisingly gentle when he placed me into the passenger seat of an old-timey Jeep. His hands burned as they worked the seat belt around my lap, and a part of me recoiled from the intimacy. My instincts were at war with all of the sensations being thrown at me: a part of me wanted to hug him and never let go while the other part hated him.

The Jeep jumped quite a bit as Paul dodged the other cars in the yard. Perhaps going a little too fast, and only the lights from the porch showed me his face. He was livid. As we hit a back road, darkness spread in the small area we were encased in, cocooning us in a space where it was just the two of us.

"Are you mad at me?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, old insecurities roaring back from a life that felt so far away from the present.

He snorted. "Hell no, Sam is just a jackass and putting his nose in something that isn't any of his damn business. And now we are both being forced in a spot neither of us needs to be in. It pisses me off."

Exhaustion had short-circuited my ability to shut up. "Why?"

I could feel him stepping on the brake, slowing down his speed before he pulled into a driveway hidden by the forest much like the Clearwater's. Once again, the Jeep bounced around like a clown car and made me feel a little bit nauseous. Could he really enjoy driving this thing? Eventually it crawled to a stop in front of a small, modest home surrounded by trees. The sounds of dogs barking greeted us.

The vehicle kept rumbling and Paul showed no signs of moving from the driver's seat. Instead he stared ahead, his handsome face twisted in deep thought. And I found myself staring at him, trying to fight the odd compulsion I felt towards him. Ever since he had found me, it felt as if I was only functional when he was around. It scared me.

At last he spoke. "Because he is acting like he knows what's best for us. Like we need to pull the same shit he and Emily did. But you're not Emily and he needs to mind his own fucking business." He growled and then softened slightly when he met my gaze. "Every morning when I wake up, I feel how much you need space. I know what you need. Space, time, maybe a little compassion from people like the Clearwaters. Until today, you were getting that. So I was… content. Maybe a little impatient, but content that you were near me. Who the fuck would've thought," he paused and shook his head, "that it would've been you?"

Baffled, I couldn't find the words to respond. He looked so introspective, so calm and collected that it was hard to believe that he was Paul. The inconsiderate jerk who had dragged me back to LaPush more times than I could count.

"Yeah, you don't know either, do you?" He sighed and jerked the key out of the Jeep. "Well anyway, Sam ordered me to tell you everything, but the dumbass didn't tell me when. You don't need supernatural bullshit right now. You need sleep."

He was right. Again. The weight of the day was crashing on me, and I didn't really care what Sam wanted me to know at the moment. I just wanted to fall into oblivion until my heart stopped hurting.

I scrambled out of the truck and was greeted by two German Shepherds wagging their tails at me after they said hi to Paul. He patted their heads before taking my hand and guiding me into the house. His house. Neat hardwood floors and a clean layout revealed another surprise; Paul wasn't a total slob like Jake was. And since everyone on the Rez knew Paul lived alone, it was a safe bet that he was responsible for every piece of furniture and design choice that I could see.

"Your place is nice." I offered up shyly. He still hadn't let go of my hand and somehow I could tell that he wanted my opinion.

He smiled and I knew my gamble was correct. Just like that day when Leah had used me to get out of the house, it was nice for someone to want something from me. Which was odd since I had left Phoenix for that reason. Renee had needed me too much. Maybe it was time for me to find some kind of balance, because it would be nice if I could have someone look at me like that everyday. Like I was worth more than pity.

Paul led me to his bathroom and lent me some clothes before wordlessly taking me to a room with a large king size bed in it.

Heat enveloped my face as he smirked and loomed over me. When I just so happened to be wearing his clothes with a dumbass look on my face. "Don't worry, Swan, I don't bite."

"I don't really think-"

He laughed. "Relax, I'm planning on sleeping on the couch."

Images of a large man uncomfortable on a tiny sofa invaded my mind. "I'm the guest, Paul. You really shouldn't have to do that."

If possible, he looked even more amused. "Well," his hand slid up on my arm before cupping my chin, "what do you suggest? I wouldn't be opposed to sharing."

My heart raced and my blush deepened. "The couch sounds fine to me."

His expression darkened. "You are not sleeping on the couch. No way in hell am I letting that happen. So you decide: either I sleep with you on the bed or I sleep on the couch. It's that simple."

I looked back at the bed. It was huge, even for the man who owned it. And if I procrastinated much longer, then I was going to fall asleep standing.

So my decision was made, for better or for worse.

"Fine Paul. You're sleeping with me. But," I said when he visibly perked up, "keep your hands to yourself."

A grin split his face. "Sure, same applies to you then, Swan."