CHAPTER 2:
Fights Are Everything At Cromartie
"Emergency!" The announcement reaches the entire city. "Emergency! Tiger Threat spotted in the vicinity of Northern Y-City! All immediate residents are advised to evacuate, surrounding areas must stay inside! Emergency!"
Sirens fills the background for the deadpan, almost mechanical announcements.
"Emergency!"
Metal Bat's leg twitches. It's just a Tiger level threat, he tells himself. Nothing a Class B or A can't handle. Still...
Mechazawa's little brother bounces on Bad's desk, while his bat sways around like a silly rubber object.
I am Metal Bat, S-Class Hero Rank 7. I've taken on Demon Threats, Dragon Threats, by myself. I don't give a fuck. Monster's a monster and I'm gonna kick their ass. But here, at fucking Cromartie...
He looks around his classroom. There's a haze of smoke in the air, with boys puffing on everything from glittery piles of icing to happy chibi frogs. Some are playing cards at a nearby desk, others are whispering amongst themselves. Probably planning to jump someone after school.
...I'm just Bad. No really, that's my name, my parents died before they could tell me why. But I don't hate it; quite the opposite. It's made me ready, put me right where I needed to be in the streets to grow strong. Strong enough to take on Dragon level monsters by myself, strong enough to survive Cromartie.
A desk soars and hits the wall behind him. The whispering conspirators have swarmed the unsuspecting card players; evidently, waiting until after school wasn't part of the plan.
"Emergency!" the announcement rings with alarms anew. "Emergency! The Tiger Threat in Y-City has been raised to Demon. Repeat, City Y has now been raised to Demon Threat! Everyone within the northern and eastern sectors need to evacuate, immediately. Emergency!"
Metal Bat sighs. I could totally leave and take on that monster. Who would even know?
The door bursts open, and Mechazawa strolls into the room. He barely notices the class-wide brawl as he walks right past it to the window. He pulls up a chair to sit beside Bad.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Yo," answers Bad. "What are you doing here?"
Mechazawa points out the window, where the sirens and voice urge people to run. "Thought I would check in, see if you wanted to go."
"I was just wondering if I should."
"Why don't you?"
Mechazawa's little brother starts bouncing on his head.
Metal Bat sighs, his pompadour rippling like a calm ocean. "I got a lot of demerits last year, for leaving school to fight monsters. The Association can't cover for me every year."
"But they can call you at all hours of the day and night," rants Mechazawa, his hand subconsciously turning into a drill. "To put yourself on the line, for their spontaneous bidding, like some damn lackey!"
"It's fine," Bad assures him. "They pay me, so I kind of am, right?"
"No," says Mechazawa. "You're technically a free agent, which means 'free' to only take on the jobs you want."
A crash sounds from outside; the ground shakes. All the boys stop fighting and rush to the window.
Far away, a plume of smoke rises through the air. Buildings around it fall.
"Whoa," says Hayashida. "That's intense."
"Maybe we should go," suggests Kamiyama.
"Go?" asks Hayashida. "Go where? It's right in our evacuation path."
"The only other way," says Takenouchi. "Is to City Z. Which is probably where it's heading."
Sure enough, the toppling buildings and gathering of smoke start making its way straight at them. A spiked back could be seen on a giant, serpent-like shape rising up from the ground then sinking back in again.
The class starts freaking out. Everyone runs this way and that. Those with bloody noses and black eyes crash blindly into the wall.
Mechazawa lifts his head, literally off his neck, and blows a foghorn. Everyone quiets, looking at him. His head gets back to position, and he clears his throat.
"If we're going to evacuate," he says calmly. "We need to form an orderly line, and walk out of the school, to the train station."
Everyone bum-rushes the door, clogging them all inside.
Mechazawa and Kamiyama sigh. Maeda facepalms and Hayashida shakes his head.
"I'm going to die," laments Hokudo, shaking. "Amongst these assholes. Because of these dumbasses, I'm going to die."
Takenouchi puts two fingers in his mouth and blows a loud whistle.
Everyone stops.
"Assholes!" cries Takenouchi. "Form a line! Like this!"
He physically pulls people out of the door and sets them up orderly. Contritely, all the boys follow suit and calmly walk down the hall, Takenouchi watching them with his arms crossed.
"Mechazawa," calls Metal Bat. He's perched at the end of the open window, bat in hand, eyes gleaming. "Can you get me closer?"
The robot's hands connect and transform into wheels, as do his feet.
"With pleasure," he says, before transforming down into a motorcycle.
Metal Bat jumps on and starts the engine.
"Aw," groans Kamiyama. "That's my ride."
"You want to take care of that?" Bad points to the spiked land-serpent now chomping through buildings about ten miles away.
Kamiyama's eyes go wide. "No, thanks! Stay safe!"
"Sure," smirks Metal Bat. He drives Motozawa out the window, the robotic bike soaring farther and faster than any average vehicle.
They land and take off for the direction of the monster, Motozawa mostly driving himself.
"Hey, Metal Bat!"
From a side street to their right, a girl rides up beside them a modern silver speedbike emblazoned with the name Master Warhead. Her short, choppy hair whips in the wind just like her short, black uniform skirt. Two samurai swords hang from a belt low at her waist. Only three buttons on her shirt are done, but it's mostly covered by her black leather jacket. All exposed skin is adorned with scars, including two right on her face. A massive patch of a mushroom cloud on the back of her jacket is bordered by the words "Nuclear Samurai."
"Aiko Kamikaze?" cries Bad.
"Who's that?" asks Motozawa.
"Atomic Samurai's daughter," answers Metal Bat. (If you'd like to read her story, check out the other fanfic!) He turns back to Aiko. "What are you doing on this side of town?"
"I go to RAG," Nuclear Samurai rolls her eyes, while shouting over the engines. "The Rehabilitative Academy for Girls! Fucking joke! What about you?"
Bad makes a face. "Cromartie High!"
"Whoa, I heard Cromartie is crazy!"
"Don't remind me!"
A great maw comes up from the ground right underneath them. Aiko's motorcycle balances on the upper snout, Motozawa on the lower, as they rise into the air.
"Aah!"
The motorcycles turn. Nuclear Samurai jabs her blade between two molten red eyes and drives downward, cleaving a skull-scraping gash down the herpetological head.
Meanwhile, Motozawa and Metal Bat charge down the monster's side and drive around its jaw. Bad pounds on its hinges and exposed veins mercilessly, the serpent beginning to thrash with pain.
"Aah!"
A slave to gravity, Aiko and Master Warhead are thrown from the snake's spikey back.
Thinking fast, Motozawa initiates his jet packs and flies for the falling samurai. Reaching out, Metal Bat catches her in his arms, lowering her on the seat in front of him.
"You alright?" he asks.
"Yeah," she replies. "I just can't believe your motorcycle flies."
"I'm glad yours is made from indestructible metal," says Metal Bat, watching Master Warhead clamour to the ground. It remains completely intact.
The serpent rocks back and forth in pain. It emits an ear-splitting shriek, then a series of suffering gargles, before falling to the ground, lifeless.
The heroes land next to Master Warhead and high-five.
"Alright!" cheers Aiko. "That was easier than-"
Out of the hole in the serpent's head, thousands of smaller, slimy baby snake monsters appear. Their teeth are larger than the rest of their heads, and they slither all over their mother's remains, eating every available inch. The more they feed, the larger and spikier they become.
"Eww," cries Motozawa. "That's the grossest thing I've ever seen!"
Aiko's eyes go wide with shock. "Dude," she says. "Did your motorcycle just talk?"
"That's not the crazy thing here!" Metal Bat swings down and crushes a slew of attacking snakes. "We've got to stop these things!"
"Oh, right." Aiko swings her katana, jets of air slicing up a horde.
The snakes disperse, heading all together in one direction.
"Let's get them!" cries Bad.
The motorcycle heroes take off, slashing and smashing any monster snakes they don't run over.
The Cromartie students shuffle out of the building, and start rushing in the direction of the train station.
"What if the train's not running?" asks Maeda, as they run.
"There's a mass bunker there," answers Hokudo. "We can all at least take shelter."
From the street before them, a shrieking sound precedes a rush, like a cascading river, of slimy, blind, hungry, roughly 6-foot monster snakes. They tumble over each other, chomping. As if sensing meat, they hesitate, then turn in the direction of the Cromartie students. Their hungry, intimidating cries cause many to freeze.
"MOVE!" Takenouchi jumps over the crowd, landing right in the path of the monstrous snakes. He punches one, crushing its fragile skull, while grabbing another by the neck with one hand and squeezing until its head burst. His other fist keeps punching, eradicating one after another.
"GET BACK IN THE SCHOOL!" cries Takenouchi over the carnage he's creating. He looks at those who have already started down the road, such as Kamiyama and Hayashida. "HURRY!"
They make a run for it. But famished ophidians fill the street like speeding trains, their mouths wide open and brimming with knife-edged teeth. Suddenly, Kamiyama and Hayashide are stopped by a bladed maw, taller than them.
Suddenly, a guitar riff, from the right. Freddie's horse comes charging down the pavement, rears its hooves, and knocks the monster wide open. Freddie sings out a note of triumph. Surrounding vermin writhe in pain from the sound, as the horse stomps them out.
"C'mon!" Hayashida pushes Kamiyama, and together they run back into the school with the others.
Everyone bars the doors with everything they can find: lockers, benches, toolboxes, garden gnomes, teddy bears.
A very sudden, very close shriek grabs their attention. The maw of a spiked serpent cuts its way out of the ground from beneath the floor, nearly taking Maeda's foot.
"Aah!"
Everyone scatters for the walls and corners. Hayashida, however, jumps in from the left, slamming a hammer into the snake.
"Yeah!" he shouts. "Take that!"
The other boys cheer him on, Gorilla beating its chest. Hayashida wails on the monster until it slumps motionless over its hole, then turns as another emerges for an attack.
"Yeah!" hollers Hayashida, readying his weapon. "Welcome to Cro-Fucking-High!"
The boys cheer, "Cro-Fucking-High! Cro-Fucking-High!"
A circular gash in the floor gives rise to another shrieking assailant. Gorilla yanks it up and rips it directly in half.
Inspired, all the boys holler and take up arms, breaking the chained lock on the sports' equipment cabinet. Hayashida picks up the chain itself, complete with heavy metal padlock. Some already have switchblades, brass knuckles, and wooden swords.
"Everyone, up the stairs!" cries Kamiyama, suddenly having a thought. "Before the floor collapses!"
As he says it, everyone notices the plaster softening and buckling beneath their feet, made loose by the burrowing horde of land-serpents.
"But if we're going to collapse," argues one of his classmates. "Shouldn't we get out of the building?"
"And go where?" counters Kamiyama angrily, pointing out the window. While Cromartie's strongest keep the monsters from storming the building directly, it is clear they are still densely surrounded.
Half the room sinks roughly. The boys clamour the stairway in a horde.
"Single file!" hollers Kamiyama. "We don't want to trample anyone!"
Gorilla picks up anyone falling over and runs up the railing. As everyone climbs higher, they become slightly more orderly, but no less afraid.
"I want my mom," whines Maeda.
"We have to get to the roof," pants Kamiyama.
"Where's the fucking alarm?" shouts Hayashida.
"What?" Kamiyama turns to look at his friend, but doesn't stop running. "What are you talking about?"
"The alarm," says Hayashida. "That 'Emergency! Emergency! Everyone run or die!'"
The boys stop talking. Aside from hungry shrieks and the occasional crashing, there are no other sounds. No sirens, announcements, calls for heroism.
"You're right," gasps Kamiyama. "Even the alarm from before has stopped."
"But doesn't City Y have residents?" cries Maeda, voice shaken with fear and anger. "Isn't everyone around in danger?"
"Does anyone have the Hero's Association app?" inquires Kamiyama.
"At this school?" scoffs Hayashida. "Are you kidding?"
"Point taken."
The students all make it to the roof. Gorilla kicks the door open and the boys scatter to the edge, getting a view of what's happening.
Takenouchi, several of his gang members, Hokudo, his lackey, and Freddie have lined themselves up in front of the school. Taking out monsters, entrails circle them in a gooey mess. They're winning, for now, but are clearly getting tired.
"Where're the damn heroes," pants Hokudo's lackey, punching a hole through another serpent's head. "When you need them?"
Right at that moment, engines roar over the onslaught. Two motorcycles roll into view, each on an adjacent street. Motozawa drives himself while Metal Bat stands on the seat, swinging his bat wildly, pounding every serpent down that street into gooey pulp.
Aiko, too, clears the coming onslaught with quick swipes of her katana. Great waves of air rush before her, slicing through snakes even closer to Cromartie. She sits back down and pulls up to the school, nonchalantly.
Takenouchi, Hokudo, and his lackey relax their stances slightly at the sight of the attackers being reduced by half. Freddie's horse paws the ground, catching its breath.
From the rooftop, the boys holler and whistle.
"Yeah!" they cry collectively. "Alright! He-ro! He-ro! He-ro!"
Metal Bat looks up at his classmates, gathered on the roof, cheering with glee and gratitude.
Finally, he thinks to himself, flowers and sparkles blooming around him. Finally, they acknowledge my strength! They know I'm on their side, that I'm not one of those stuffy heroes conceited with rank.
A smile spreads across his lips as he smooths out his pompadour. An angel teddy bear flies past, spreading more flowers.
I'll finally get some respect at this school!
"Hey, hottie!" one of the boys on the roof hollers. His friends whistle and laugh in agreement. "Hey, cute hero, look up here! What's your name?"
"Huh?" Bad looked up. "I'm Metal Bat, duh!"
"Not you," the boy sneers. "Her! Hey, girlie!"
Every Cromartie student on the roof concurs and begins catcalling in one obnoxious chorus.
Without turning in their direction, Nuclear Samurai responds, "Read the jacket, dumbasses!" She slices the head off of one last monster, then takes a selfie next to its husk. "There, quota, made. Stay off my ass, Hero's Association."
Mechazawa approaches her. "I can take your picture," he offers. "So we can get a shot of the whole street you cleared."
"Hey, good thinking," smiles Aiko. She hands him her phone. "So you're not a motorcycle anymore, huh?"
"No," sighs Mechazawa. "Just a regular, lowlife thug, at your service."
Aiko laughs, posing for a picture. "From one thug to another, you're alright."
The door to the school bursts open, and out comes Kamiyama, Hayashida, Maeda, and Gorilla.
"You're okay!" Kamiyama swoops Mechazawa and Bad in one massive hug. "You're not hurt! I'm so glad. When all those smaller monsters appeared, I feared the worst." He puts them down and steps back. His eyes brim with tears and his voice with sincerity, "Thank you. Thank you, so much. I don't know how much longer we could have held out."
"Oh," Metal Bat is taken aback, but not displeased. His smile gradually comes back. "No problem, it's what we do."
"Nobody else came," says Maeda. "They didn't even sound the alarm!"
"They didn't?"
"That's right," realizes Mechazawa. "The announcements stopped as soon as the big serpent hit Y-City. I thought it was because we took it out, but it never did come back on for the second attack."
Nuclear Samurai still stands by her pile of monster slices, showing Hayashida pictures on her phone. "I like this one," she says.
"That one shows the most carnage," agrees Hayashida. "But the sun blocks half your face. Here, I can take a better one."
"Don't delete my picture!" objects Mechazawa.
"Too late," quips Hayashida, while Aiko strikes another sexy pose with her sword. "Ooh, right there, that's it."
Hokudo and his lackey step up to Metal Bat. "I'm sorry I underestimated you," says Hokudo. "You really came through for us today. Thank you."
"Yeah," Hokudo's lackey bows along. "Thanks, man. And, sorry."
Bad starts to blush. "Thanks, guys," he mutters.
Hayashida and Aiko run over. She puts her arm around Metal Bat, the block behind them thick with monster goop.
"Say cheese!" calls Hayashida, holding up Aiko's camera phone.
"Fuck yeah!" beams Aiko.
Bad gives him the middle finger.
"Perfect!" He hands the phone back to Nuclear Samurai.
"Wow," she says. "You take good pictures. Thanks...for putting your number into my phone?"
"Anytime's a good time," winks Hayashida.
"Oh, look, you made it my background. With your name."
"You can call me Shinjirou."
"Whatever." She turns her head sharply to hide her smile.
"Thank you, Miss Nuclear Samurai," bows Kamiyama. "For saving us."
"Yes," the rest follow suit, even Takenouchi. "Thank you!"
Aiko blinks. "Oh. Um, sure?" Her cheeks turn red. No one's calling me a bitch. I, actually, don't know how to respond to that.
A sound of mass footsteps sound from behind. The rest of the Cromartie student body come clamouring up to Aiko, phones out, pictures flashing.
"Nuclear Samurai!" they cry out. "Nuclear Samurai!"
They lift her up and bounce her on their shoulders, posting on social media, cheering.
"Nuclear Samurai rocks!"
"Yeah!" Aiko completely surrenders to the admiration. "Who's your queen?"
"NUCLEAR SAMURAI!"
"Fuck yeah!"
Everyone celebrates in front of the school.
Metal Bat smiles, taking in her genuine laughter. I'll let her have this one.
She takes a flask out of her jacket pocket and takes a long swig. Everyone cheers even louder.
"Um," asks Mechazawa quietly. "Is that alcohol?"
"Yep," responds Bad. "Now we have a fresh new hell."
"Kanpai!" shout Aiko and the boys.
NEXT TIME
on King of Cromartie:
We should visit the girls' school. Should we visit the girls' school? I don't know, I feel like saving that for Chapter 4. Oh well, Chapter 3's next.