That Would Be Stan

Monday, June 21, 2021

He'd been waiting for this moment all day long. The moment when he could finally be at peace. When the air around him would be filled with a quiet stillness. When he could settle himself in his favorite armchair in the den, put his feet on up his coffee table, flick on the gas powered fireplace, and open up the book that he'd planned on finishing while he was here, but that he hadn't even been able to crack open until this very moment.

The truth was, 2020 had spoiled him. After an entire year of not having children around, he'd almost forgotten what it was like. Compared to the peaceful island paradise The Vineyard had been last year, this year was a zoo. There hadn't been so much noise and calamity within these walls since Logan and Honor were children, and they had only been two. Now there was double the number. Three children under ten and a baby.

It was a miracle any of them were getting any sleep.

It helped that the kids were all upstairs. It didn't help, however, that the baby was sleeping in the room directly above the master and was apparently cutting a tooth, something that sounded extremely unpleasant to deal with and that - to his mind - was what hired help was for. But, God forbid he point out what seemed to be a completely obvious solution to his son and daughter-in-law's sleep deprivation problems.

As it was, the only reason why the house was quiet at the moment was because the two of them had decided to drive around the neighborhood in an attempt to get the boy to fall asleep. Personally, Mitchum thought it was ridiculous, but he certainly wasn't complaining. The rest of the kids were all already asleep upstairs, and Shira had sequestered herself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine and what must have been a dozen candles. Once upon a time, he might have actually been invited in there with her, but those days were long past. At this point, he'd consider himself lucky if she'd let him in there to brush his teeth at the end of the night.

Regardless, he was perfectly happy to be exactly where he was. He turned on the lamp on the side table next to the chair and settled himself into the cushions. He took one final sip of his scotch before setting it down on the table and settling himself into the plush cushions. And then, just as he started to crack open the cover of his book, he heard a tiny squeak sound from down the hallway.

"Daddy…"

The soft pitter patter of little feet slowly descending the staircase at the end of the hall soon followed, and Mitchum took a deep breath and sighed. Technically he wasn't 'Daddy.' And in any other circumstance, he would use the fact that he hadn't been 'Daddy' for over thirty years to his advantage in this situation and carry on doing exactly what he had planned to do without another thought. But, unfortunately, considering the fact that 'Daddy' was probably about halfway to Jaws Bridge by now, his wife was locked in the bathroom, and his daughter and son-in-law were God knows where, it didn't seem like there was any other option than for him to take care of this.

"Daddy…" the squeak sounded again, sounding far more desperate this time than the last.

Mitchum turned his head to look down the hall just as the three foot tall bed-headed figure of his only granddaughter appeared at the bottom of the stairs, looking thoroughly distressed and utterly lost. She turned her head, looking up and down the hall toward his bedroom and then over in his direction, her little face growing more and more upset when her eyes didn't land on his son.

"Daddy's not here, sweetheart," he said with a sigh, setting his book down on the table.. "What's wrong? Come tell Grandpa."

The little girl didn't move. She just stood there in the middle of the hall, her lips pouting and her chin quivering. In less than an instant, the mildly distressed tone she'd been speaking in turned into a full on cry, and Mitchum had no choice but to jump to his feet in response.

"I want my Daddy!" Ellie cried right before a string of crocodile tears started flowing down her cheeks.

Mitchum made his way quickly up the couple of steps from the den and down the hallway at the side of the foyer. Ellie stayed in place, her tiny little sobs echoing through the walls as she continued to cry. As soon as he reached her, he scooped her into his arms, groaning ever so slightly at the ego bruising strain in his back as he did.

"What's wrong, sugar bear?" he asked, walking back toward the den with Ellie's arms wrapped around his neck. "Did you have a bad dream?"

He couldn't help but have flashbacks. It felt like an entire lifetime ago, but it was a familiar scene. A distraught little blonde girl dressed in pink pajamas crying her eyes out in the hallway in the middle of the night. Honor had been plagued by nightmares at this age, and despite having a series of live-in nannies at the time, he'd found himself having to deal with it more than once.

"No…" Ellie pouted.

"No?" he asked.

"There's a monster."

He had to hold in a laugh. Strangely enough, this was his first encounter with a genuine monster scare. It was a phase neither Honor nor Logan went through at this age. Or at least it was a phase he'd never been made aware of if they had.

"A monster?" he asked. "Why do you think there's a monster?"

"Carter said."

"He did, huh?" Mitchum asked unamused, inwardly groaning at the nine year old's role in disrupting his evening. Ellie nodded against his neck.

"There was a -" she hiccuped. "There was a crash. And then - " she hiccuped again. "And then he had glowy eyes. And - " she hiccuped a third time. "And Carter said -" a fourth hiccup. "Carter said he was a monster."

"He had glowy eyes?" Mitchum asked, his brow furrowing as he tried to keep up with the child's story. He could understand them hearing a mysterious noise… but he was having a hard time figuring out exactly where she'd gotten the idea that she'd seen a pair of glowing eyes.

Ellie nodded again. She sniffed and brought the long sleeve of her Sleeping Beauty nightshirt up to her nose, wiping away the snot that had no doubt started to drip from her nostrils. Mitchum fought every urge in his soul not to grimace, and he started making his way over to the kitchen with the girl in his arms.

"In the tree…" she clarified as they walked.

In that moment, he came to an epiphany. The entire ordeal suddenly made complete and total sense to him. He knew exactly what was going on, and he was actually slightly ashamed that he hadn't put two and two together right away.

When they reached the kitchen, Mitchum set her down on the peninsula with her feet hanging off the edge of the counter. He headed toward the cabinets against the back wall and plucked a paper napkin from a basket sitting next to the paper towel holder.

"Blow," he said as he held the napkin up to her nose. Ellie obeyed without question, straining as hard as she could to empty out her runny nose.

"So there was a monster outside in the tree, huh?" he asked.

"Uh huh," Ellie nodded her head emphatically as he tossed the used napkin into the waste basket under the sink.

"Well…" he said, reaching a bit further into the cabinet and coming back up with a chrome flashlight. "I guess we're gonna have to go investigate then."

When he looked back over at Ellie's face, her tiny little mouth had popped open in horror, and her big brown eyes had gone wide as saucers. She started shaking her head back and forth, and the tears were still flowing down her cheeks like waterfalls.

"No!" she cried, desperately, as if he was asking her to go out and single handedly slay Typhon with bare feet and nothing but her Disney pajamas as armor.

"No?" Mitchum asked, walking back over to her and setting the flash light down on the counter. He let out a performative sigh, and then continued in a disappointed voice. "What do you mean no? I thought you were my brave girl. But… if not, I guess I can go get one of the boys to investigate with me..."

"No!" Ellie exclaimed again. Though, this time the fear in her voice had been replaced with stubbornness. "I'm brave! I don't need boys."

Mitchum smirked. A small voice in his head cut through his thoughts, praying that the 'I don't need boys' sentiment would stick with her for a lifetime. Though, in his personal experience things typically didn't pan out that way - as evidenced by the six and nine year old upstairs apparently terrorizing their little cousin while they were supposed to be asleep.

"That's my girl," he said with a smile, reaching to scoop her up in his arms once again.

"Wait!" Ellie said with a gasp, freezing him in his tracks. "We need something. In case… in case the monster tries to get us."

This time, he wasn't able to keep his chuckle inside. He let out a small laugh, though thankfully Ellie didn't seem to notice or mind.

"Okay…" he said with a nod of his head.

He walked over to the dishwasher and popped it open, reaching down into the bottom drawer. He came back up with a translucent plastic blue knife in his hand, bearing the image of Cookie Monster on the handle, and handed it to her. She accepted it with a serious expression, holding it tightly in her fist as though it was a dagger.

Weapon now firmly in her hand, Mitchum picked her up again, settling her on his hip. He grabbed the flashlight off the counter again and started making his way around the kitchen peninsula, turning left through the breakfast area and toward the door leading out to the back deck underneath the windows of the kids' room upstairs.

The porch light was dim, but for the moment, it was more than enough to light their way. And as they drew closer and closer to the tree that brushed up against their window, Ellie grew more and more tense. But, just like the little Huntzberger she was, she kept her chin held high. At least until a clunking sound coming from the yard broke over the sound of the crashing ocean waves and caught their attention.

"Ah!" Ellie squeaked, tightening her grip on him as he turned in the direction of the sound.

Sure enough, in a matter of seconds, a pair of glowing yellow eyes suddenly appeared in the darkness, drawn to them by the sound of her cry and their footsteps. Ellie's protests became worse, and sensing that she might break down into tears again, he decided not to take one step further in the direction of their target.

"Is that your monster?" he asked, whispering conspiratorially.

"Uh huh," she answered, burning her head in his neck.

Mitchum smiled in amusement as he adjusted her in his arms with a slight hitch.

"Well, let's just get to the bottom of this, shall we?" he asked.

Ellie didn't answer him, she merely squeezed him even tighter, refusing to look in the direction of the pair of mysterious yellow eyes. He brought the hand that was holding the flashlight up to waist height, and with a quick flip of the switch, a bright blue LED light illuminated the yard, landing on the ominous creature and exposing him in all his sinister glory.

"Well…" said Mitchum, nudging his granddaughter slightly with the shoulder that her head was resting on. "Would you look at that?"

Apparently, his tone was soft and unconcerned enough to placate her. Ellie lifted her head from his shoulder once again, turning her tear stained face in the direction of the light. And then, when her eyes landed on the creature, she let out a soft giggle and kicked her feet against him in amusement.

Standing upright about fifteen feet from them on a wooden bird feeder in the yard was a two foot tall, grey haired little rodent. His once glowing eyes were surrounded by a mask of black fur, and he was shoving bird seed into his mouth with his tiny black fist. He seemed entirely unbothered by their presence and carried on eating as if he owned the place. Though, honestly… at this point it almost felt like he did. He spent more time here than they did, after all.

"That's not a monster," said Mitchum. "That's just Stan."

To be fair, it was more likely Stan Junior. Or, hell… Stan the fourth by this point. He wasn't sure what the lifespan of a racoon was, but he was pretty sure it wasn't over forty years.

"How…" Ellie started. "How do you know his name?"

"Well… cause Stan and me go way back," he said. "He takes care of the house while Grandma and I aren't here."

"Can I pet him?"

Mitchum laughed. It was remarkable how quickly she'd entirely forgotten about all of the fear that had been wracking her little body just seconds ago, and was now completely ready to take the creature inside and domesticate him.

"No, honey," he answered. Stan might night be a monster, but it was still more likely than not that he had rabies. He'd never won any awards for father of the year, but he was pretty confident that exposing his grandkids to rabid rodents was not a particularly responsible paternal gesture. "We don't pet wild animals."

The little girl was disappointed to say the least, but considering the fact that she was no longer a blubbering frightened mess, he considered it a win. He turned around, making his way back into the house and setting her on her feet as soon as they were safely inside. He deposited the flashlight and the mighty Cookie Monster knife on to the table, and as soon as he was empty handed he nudged Ellie forward toward the doorway into the hall.

"Alright," he said. "Come on. Back to bed."

Judging by the way she took off like a flash, the chances of getting her in bed and asleep any time soon seemed slim to none. She was clearly wound up, and getting children to sleep wasn't exactly something that Mitchum was all that experienced or talented in under the best circumstances. Thankfully, however, by a strike of sheer luck, it seemed like he might not have to worry about it after all.

"DADDY!"

The greeting was followed by the closing of the front door, a loud infantile wail breaking through the air, and the frustrated groan of his daughter-in-law.

"You've got to be kidding me…" he heard Rory mutter under her breath.

As he turned the corner, he watched Logan pick up the excited little girl and settle her on his hip as Rory lifted their now wide awake six-month-old over her shoulder and started rubbing his back in circles.

"Shhh! Ellie…" Logan scolded, quietly. "You need to use your inside voice. We just got Ronan to sleep… What are you doing up?"

"Me and Grandpa went monster hunting," she explained matter-of-factly, entirely unbothered by the fact she'd woken her little brother up from his fraughtly won slumber. She was playing with the drawstring on her father's sweatshirt, tugging and pulling on it without a care in the world while her mother paced around the foyer, jiggling the baby in an effort to sooth him once again.

"Monster hunting?" Logan asked, his brow furrowing in utter confusion. "That sounds scary."

"I wasn't scared…" said Ellie, shaking her head in denial. Mitchum chuckled. "I'm a big girl. I'm almost four."

"We didn't find any monsters…" Mitchum added, causing Logan to look over in his direction for the first time. "But we did find Stan."

"Ah…" Logan said with an understanding nod.

"Stan and Grandpa go way back," she said, repeating the phrase that he had just used moments before outside and eliciting an amused laugh from Logan in the process.

"They do, huh?" he asked, making eye contact with him over the girls head. Mitchum only shrugged in response. "Well… as thrilled, I'm sure, as Stan was to meet you, it's way past your bedtime, little miss."

Logan hiked her up on his hip a little further and took a step forward, about to carry her down the hall and toward the staircase.

"I want Grandpa to tuck me in!" Ellie exclaimed, shocking all three of them.

Mitchum was only slightly offended when Logan threw a concerned look to his wife over his shoulder, as if the idea of him getting their daughter settled for the night was a heavy decision that required weighty consideration and mutual agreement. Rory, however, was far too occupied with her own battle to get a child to sleep to worry much about this one. She just shrugged her shoulders as she continued to pat Ronan's back soothingly.

"Alright…" Logan said, sounding as if he was agreeing to let her jump out of a plane with an unreliable parachute.

He handed the little girl over to Mitchum, and he accepted her without hesitation. As they made their way down the hall, Ellie started asking every question about Stan that her little almost four year old brain could think up. He answered them patiently, and right as they were about to descend the staircase, he heard the voice of his son float down from the hallway as he addressed his wife.

"I don't know who that man is…" he said. "But he's not my father."

AN: I guess I was kinda missing The Family Business and needed some fluff after the all the Mind the Gap angst. Haha. So here's a quick fluffy little something from Mitchum's POV. Though… it was hard for me to write him NOT in the TFB universe… I kept forgetting. This Mitchum is a lot more chill in his old age. Less bitter. Lol. Anyway, Hope you all liked it.