Ey yo, I have returned!
Warning: this is a bit of a dark chapter
Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Of Aches and Burdens
Raphael's eyes snap open. Shit. He nodded off again. I need to check on-!
His panicked thought slows to a halt as he takes in his surroundings. He's lying on a pallet next to Donnie in the master bedroom. He looks up at the bed and spots the propped up leg of Leonardo. A deep sigh of relief escapes him as a serene smile makes its way across his face.
That's right. He's awake.
It's going to be hard for him to remember that.
He sits up, turning his head to eye the old digital clock on the nightstand. 2 AM. Yeah, not surprised.
He hasn't had more than a few hours of rest a day since the invasion; April wasn't kidding when she told Leo that he'd barely slept. Hell, he slept less than Donnie, the rightly named insomniac of the family.
But it had been impossible, the mind-numbing need to check on Leo anxiously plagued him day and night.
Even upon his brother's waking, it seems that the desperation still lingers, and he doesn't know why. He'll have to ask about it, or snoop a look through the psychology textbook on the kitchen table. He doesn't want to talk about it to his family, fearing the reignition of the uncontrollable bad feelings. That night was a scary experience for him, and he doesn't want it to happen again.
The sound of someone shifting draws his gaze towards the bed, the dim streak from beneath the bathroom door providing just enough light for him to see who's causing it. He looks right into Leo's open eyes as they regard him with a questioning glance.
'What's up?'
He shrugs in reply and pulls a leg up to his chest. 'Couldn't sleep,' Raph motions his head towards him. 'You?'
Leo gently waves his hand as he pushes the top of the blanket down to his middle. 'Same here.' Leo doesn't miss Raph's look of worry at his unspoken reply.
Raphael stands up, silently stepping over the sleeping genius to stand next to Leo's side of the bed. He holds out his arm in an invitation to join him.
Leo quirks a brow at him, but readily accepts the offered appendage. The strongest brother easily helps him sit up and lean on him, hoisting him up to a teetering stance in trained silence. He acts as his crutch, helping Leo swing his good leg further in front of him to avoid scuffing his feet. He leads his limping sibling into the large bathroom and quietly shuts the door behind them.
The harsh light of the restroom forces the boys' eyes to a squint. Leo's eyes are thankfully far more clear than they were earlier today, and he takes that moment of clarity to try and really look at Raphael's face.
Finally.
It's not the best he's ever seen his brother's eyes, but it'll give him a sense of relief for now. At least, until he receives an explanation as to why he slept with his mask on.
"Why not take it off?" His hushed question forces Raphael to avert his gaze.
"No reason," The clipped answer leaves little room for further questioning as Raph hobbles him over to a stool sitting just outside the shower. "Here, sit."
"Thanks," Leo mumbles, leaning his shell against the wall. He watches as Raphael leaves his side to go sit on the counter across from him, the mirror lining the wall behind him. It's at that moment that his eyes decide to gaze at his reflection, trying their best to pick apart his appearance.
His eyes roam over his weakened body, stopping at the light scarring near the top of his plastron. The lines aren't super noticeable from far away- or maybe that's just his poor vision- but still a blatant truth to what happened to him three months prior.
His hand raises up to trace them again, a soft exhale escaping from his nose.
"You remembered, didn't ya?"
His gaze returns to his brother's tired face. The answer tumbles out of him in a heartbeat, "Yeah, I remembered."
Raphael's face hardens at that. "And ya didn't think to wake us up?"
Leo looks down at the tiled floor, his hand dropping to join the other in his lap. "It's nothing, I-"
"Don't," Raph's voice drops, as though fighting to keep it at a low volume. "Don't say it's nothing. They nearly killed you, Leo."
He doesn't know how to reply to that, his eyes becoming unfocused as he stares at the white tile.
An endless expanse of cold white underneath him.
The sight sends a jolt of fear through his heart, causing him to quickly look back up and meet Raph's unwavering stare. He grimaces, sure that the younger's concerned eyes caught his flinch.
"I don't remember much, honestly," He begins, his throat tight as his fingers rub his chest again. "I just know that I was numb, it was snowing, Shredder gave me this-" He gently pats his plastron as he continues. "And then, I'm waking up in a bathtub. Nothing more, nothing less."
Raphael frowns and leans forward, "You remember how you were attacked?"
Leo shakes his head, rubbing the scar harder as a throb begins to gnaw at it. "N-no, I just- I just remember seeing Shredder's blades coming towards me, and… I know that it was an ambush," He swallows, his new- no, current- voice sounding grated in his ears. "They planned it." His words end in a whisper, the pressure in his chest growing. His palm crushes itself against the cracks, a vain attempt in search of relief-
A large hand grabs his own, breaking his focus on the balloon inside his chest; a balloon feeling like it's ready to pop.
"Shit, Leo, we probably shouldn't be talkin' about this, not now," Raph's voice is shaking, encouraging Leonardo's mind back to a second of crystal clarity. Why's he so shaken up? "Let's change the damn subject."
What Leo doesn't realize is that his brother's thoughts are a raging storm. Raphael feels nothing but a cold fury fill his bones at the thought of his brother, his leader, being beaten so unfairly- cowardly- and with such little honor!
A sick part of him blames himself for not being there, for not knowing, and for not being able to fix it-!
"Raph…" Hell- "Breathe."
He obeys, sucking in with a shuddering sigh. His legs quake beneath him as he lowers himself to his knees, holding Leo's hand all the while; the same hand he's held for months, pouring every ounce of his heart out to its silent owner.
His voice cracks as his greatest confession spills from his lips, "It's been Hell without you, Leo," Raph whispers. "We were worried sick. I can't sleep because I've spent every damn night checking to make sure you didn't up 'n' die on us," He looks up into Leo's blue eyes, his heart swelling at the sight of the focus they now contain.
His big brother is here, responding to him, comforting him, and the thought fills him with such utter joy it washes away his rage in an instant. Tears spring forth as Raphael stands to hug him, uncaring of how emotional he may seem. Relief floods him to the brim at the thought of no more anxiety ridden hours next to a tub, constantly fearing for his brother's fate.
He exhales a grateful sigh, being mindful to not crush Leonardo's weakened form. "I'm just- I'm so glad you're back, bro."
A moment passes before Leo gently hugs him back, his voice tight as he replies, "It's good to be back, little brother."
I'm sorry I couldn't come back sooner.
They talk- or at least, Raphael talks- for quite awhile through the night.
He tells Leo how everyone's been fairing; everything that he wanted to tell him the day before mindlessly escaping his mouth.
He wonders if he should dial it back. Donnie said not to overwhelm him, but he's been doing his best to keep an eye on the eldest's reactions, and being careful with keeping anything particularly bad out of the conversation. He's not sure if Leo will still be this lucid by sunrise, so he takes the chance to update him on what's been going on.
He doesn't talk about his breakdown, or Donnie's sleepless nights, or Mikey's nightmares.
Instead, he talks about how hard everyone worked: how they've been training, how they've earned money, and how they took care of him.
"Ugh, that's embarrassing to think about," Leo grumbles with a blush.
Raphael looks up at him from his spot on the floor. "I won't tell ya not to be, I know I'd be embarrassed, too," He replies with a wry grin. "Try not to think about it too much, I never paid attention, anyways."
Leo scoffs, the sound making Raph grin even wider, "That's a relief- still embarrassing, though."
"Hey, hey, at least it wasn't Mikey, April, or Casey. Be thankful for that much," Raph leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes, somehow not really minding what would normally be considered an awkward topic. "I know it'd usually be Donnie's thing to handle 'patient care', but he had enough on his hands. It was the least I could do, for both of you."
Leo smiles softly at Raphael's reassurance. "Thanks, Raph… for everything."
Raph resists the urge to roll his eyes, peeking an eye open to glance up at Leo, "Don't mention it," He shuts his eye again. "Besides, that's what brothers are for."
Leo's smile quickly fades, remaining quiet as he stares down at Raphael's relaxed expression, his mind in disarray.
His brothers have obviously changed due to his absence, most of all Raphael, and the thought stirs an unpleasant feeling in his gut.
Sure, there seems to be some positive outcomes to their new growth in maturity, now that they've learned how to handle responsibilities that he used to carry for them.
But that's the point. They shouldn't have needed to mature this much yet, especially not in such a traumatic way!
He learned how to carry those kind of burdens younger, yes, but he learned them in a safe environment, slowly, with the help of-
His thoughts screech to a halt.
"R-Raph?" His voice shakes as his vision blurs once again.
Raphael's eyes open wide and look up to his brother, his stomach dropping at the sight of Leo's horrified expression and watery eyes. "Leo?!" He shoots up, his hand coming to rest on Leo's shaking shoulders. "What's wrong?!"
Wide blue eyes turn to meet his own, tears spilling over as he gasps for breath, "Where's Father?"
Raphael's lungs freeze as the heartbreaking question turns over in his head.
A hard lump forms in his throat as he tries to answer, "He- he um-" But what can he say? He doesn't actually know the answer to that question! Is Dad still in that drain pipe, or is he in the ocean? Did he manage to wake up and swim to the surface, or did he take Leo's place in sinking to the bottom? He forces the thought away, choosing to answer with what he knows for sure. "He's still in the city. We… We couldn't get to him," Leo's breathing harshly continues as Raph tries to comfort him. "Easy, easy, he's- he's probably fine-"
"Raph? Leo?"
Raph spins around to see two tired turtles opening the bathroom door. Donnie's sleepy eyes roam from Raph to Leonardo's crying form and sobers up in an instant. "Leo!" He scrambles over to his brother, being mindful of the leg sticking out in front of him. "What happened? Raph, what happened?"
"I forgot him!" Leo cries, his fingers digging into his scalp. "I forgot Master Splinter! I didn't- I- I haven't even thought about him once! What's wrong with me?!"
Donnie is the first to snap out of his shock at Leonardo's sudden outburst, his voice coming out soft and hushed as he pulls Leo's hands away from his head, "Leo, that's not your fault. You have amnesia, and I'm gonna need you to understand that forgetting things that aren't currently here to remind you of them is normal, okay? Breathe with me, in and out-"
Leo's shallow gasps attempt to even themselves out, escaping him in small hiccups. He feels like the worst son in the world. "I forgot him, Donnie…"
"Yes, you did, but it isn't your fault," Donatello looks away guiltily as he begins to rub Leo's shell. "We didn't say anything because we didn't want to worry you. I'm sorry."
"No, that's not it," Leo sniffs, rubbing his wet face in shame. "I'm worried about him, yeah, but… I spent a whole day without thinking about him!" He hangs his head, his eyes skimming past his newest scar to get lost in the sea of white again. "I remembered Shredder before I remembered him."
Mikey and Donnie gasp.
"Dude-"
"You remembered?!"
Raphael takes his chance to intervene before they try and question him further, "Guys, he doesn't remember what happened, he just remembers that Shredder did it," He waves them off as he rests his arm on Leo's still quivering shoulders. "Let's just leave 'im be for now, 'kay? He should try and go back to bed, yeah?"
Leo shakes his head softly, "I don't think I can, guys. My head is just- ugh."
"Are you hurting?" Donnie asks hurriedly.
"No, my mind just feels… I dunno, cluttered," He answers back, confused. He shakily tries to wipe his face again, exhausted, his head feeling like an agitated beehive. "I can't- I can't clear it like I usually can…"
Their faces drop upon hearing that, a single hope suddenly gone before their eyes.
As odd as it would sound, Leo and Raph were far more similar than anyone would think. He felt emotions just as strongly as their token hot-head, which made him that much more dangerous once he learned how to use them as a weapon.
Meditation came like breathing to Leonardo, a favorite hobby, used either as a source of fun or as a source of catharsis. Without any sort of tether keeping his mind grounded, he's had the habit of panicking, then shutting down almost completely.
He didn't lash out like Raphael, or hide away like Donatello, or get restless like Michelangelo- no, he became cold and apathetic. Struck nearly mute, his words curt. He'll wind up stuck in his mind, constantly mulling over whatever might be stressing him out, and snapping at whomever he speaks to.
Master Splinter did the best job at bringing Leo out of these bouts, either through meditation, words of wisdom, or personalized training sessions.
That last thing was another favorite hobby of his- training. Another thing he's currently unable to do, due to his injured leg and overall atrophy.
Leo turned to training when his mind was a mess and when meditation was too passive, only leading to more unpleasant thoughts. Zeroing in on the burn of his muscles, the slice of his katanas, and the measured pants of his breath, he was able to distract himself perfectly. No room for the worries of the past and future to fill him, only the here and now, his sole focus on his body and its movements.
But even when those two things were unavailable, like during sickness or injury, he'd grab a cup of his favorite tea and a snack, plop down in front of their family's TV, and watch his favorite episodes of Space Heroes all in one go.
It didn't matter how many times he'd seen the entire series, every episode made him feel giddy all the same. Sometimes, just a single courageous scene featuring Captain Ryan would get him out of his bouts, the inspirational quote of the episode becoming a mantra in his mind.
And now, there is nothing for him to turn to. Nothing for him to lean on. Nothing for him to distract himself from his failures. Failure at being there for his family, failure at defeating Shredder, failure at even remembering the very man who raised him-
He doesn't remember how he wound up on the floor. One moment he's talking about being unable to clear his mind, the next his cheek is pressed up against cool tile. Someone rubs his shell, soothing the nausea rising up in his stomach. He tries to focus on the gentle petting, not wanting sickness to be the icing on top of his first night awake.
Mikey was so excited to have him try a new soup for dinner. He made it light enough for Leo's weak stomach to bear. He'd hate to waste it.
"Leo? Are ya back yet?" Mikey's soft tone has him groggily peeping open his puffy eyes, the bright light of the bathroom and white of the floor making the nausea come back full force. "Guys, he doesn't look too good…"
A damp, cool rag lays itself across his face, blocking the light from his view. He sighs, somehow feeling peace at the sudden darkness. He could've just closed his eyes, but they were stuck open, refusing to shut, keeping an eye out for something- for what? Shredder? He's not here!
So what is he so nervous about? It doesn't make sense! Does he feel this way because of his coma? Was unconsciousness his way of staying safe?
What caused it in the first place? Shredder was the last thing he saw, but he never hit his head.
So what knocked me out?
They're worried.
Leonardo lays in silence on the ground for a short while, calming himself as Mikey pats and rubs his shell, like Leo did for him when he had nightmares.
Raph speaks with Donnie quietly just outside the bathroom, telling him what all he learned. They were doing their best to figure out just where on the "Is Leo functioning?" scale their brother currently lies.
They need to come to a compromise, because they both know simple arm and leg exercises aren't going to cut it for longer than a couple days.
"Let's just let him try-"
"Raph, his leg may end up worse if we don't take his rest seriously! He does not have the arm strength to bear his weight on a crutch, he'd wind up using it like a cane and put too much pressure on his knee. It'll hurt, then he'll fall, and make it worse!"
"I'll be there with him, Don. I'll keep an eye on him. If he has issues walkin', I'll carry him back if I have to,'' Raphael crosses his arms and grumbles a little to himself. "Not like he can fight me off anyways."
"I still have a bad feeling," Donnie groans, rubbing his face. He pauses, thinking over the consequences: allow Leo to suffer in a terrible amount of stress while his mind pieces itself together, or allow Leo the risk of further injuring his leg?
He hates that the answer is obvious.
"A short walk?"
"A short walk. As soon as he can do it."
"And if he falls?"
"I'll carry him."
Raphael didn't expect to actually be almost dragging Leo back to the house a few days later.
Their first walk had gone off without a hitch after nearly a full day of naps and small exercises. The next morning, still weak and barely mobile, they had Leo do a small walk around the perimeter of the clearing. He didn't finish it, but his mood had improved just the tiniest bit during their talk.
He marveled over the rare feeling of grass between his toes as they slowly walked, which spurred Raph into mentioning a nearby creek. He liked to sit on a rock just across it and put his feet in, basking in the sunlight.
An awed smile spread across Leo's face, curious about the location. It sounded lovely, and maybe exactly what he needed to try and meditate.
So maybe Raph bent Donnie's rules a little bit to take him there.
Leo had asked him to not go easy on him during their 'training', so Raphael made sure to push him forward just a little bit every time he voiced his worries. He shot down every anxious thought for him, admittedly in his usual 'tough love' kinda way.
That wasn't the problem, though.
He had gone too far ahead, not realizing that Leo was sorely weakened from their slightly longer walk. He should've just carried him most of the way, then maybe they wouldn't be in this mess.
He lifts his brother across his shoulders, Leo's harsh breaths hitting his biceps. Leo had barely been standing.
So he carries him, like he promised.
And just as Raphael feared, Leo doesn't put up a fight.
Leo takes another sip of his tea, feeling far better now than he had in the last 6 or so hours. Not great, but better.
Donnie's face had become so guilty upon hearing how sick the medicine made him. Leo told him not to give up yet, that it might still be a possible success in the future, but the genius's defeated look spoke volumes.
That elixir must've taken everything out of Donnie to make, and it isn't even usable. All that work for nothing. He has every right to mope about it.
His mind begins to wander again, this time to his father.
He can remember everything about their sensei, everything he and his family have done together, almost everything from the last two years- what kind of amnesia does he even have?
It seems like he can remember everything once he's reminded of it, so how come he still can't remember what happened between him and Shredder?
He hasn't even asked how his family found him, nor what sort of shape he was in when they did. He knows it was bad, considering how Raph said they'd nearly killed him.
Maybe that's what knocked him out. All of his injuries combined, with Shredder's final blow bringing him to his breaking point. He just couldn't feel the damage because of the numbing cold.
And after Leo's defeat, at some point, Shredder had gone after Master Splinter, from what his brother's had assumed. All they actually knew was that he got thrown into a drain pipe after getting knocked out by Shredder.
This both worried and soothed him, in a morbid sort of way, for surely a master ninja like their father could survive such a defeat if Leo could survive.
Unless his own survival was under special circumstances? He'd definitely have to ask at some point. He's had so many questions spinning themselves around in his head that concentrating on anything for too long has been impossible.
He needs answers, and soon.
April's voice draws him out of his thoughts, asking him what's on his mind. He answers her with a white lie.
He's never felt more useless. He can barely hold his swords… can barely even walk as he attempts to use them for leverage. His family's likely fighting for their lives as he tries to drag himself through the forest, following where he last saw April being dragged away.
Her scream is going to haunt his dreams.
He'll have to draw this monster out, since he has no idea where his family is being kept, if they've even been captured. Sneaking isn't an option for him anyways so…
Might as well act as my own bait.
The horrifying reality of their situation hits him hard as he watches Donatello frantically work on practically reviving Raphael. He'd been turned into a literal meal and devoured right in front of Donnie and Mikey just a few hours prior.
Leo tries not to blame himself, but he feels stupid for not being more careful. Mutagen, in any form, should always be handled carefully, and yet, him and Raph had neglected to gather and clean the forgotten bottle of medicine and the contents of his stomach that they'd left by a flowing creek.
If any of it had gotten into the water, they'd probably be dealing with a lot more than one plant monster. His only saving grace is the fact that Donnie, in both his worry and dejection, had also forgotten about the bottle left behind, but that wasn't his responsibility anyway. It's Leo's, and he messed it up-
"I think I've got it!" Donnie's excited shout makes Leo jump at his spot on a bale of hay. "I sure hope this works…"
Leo tries to give him an encouraging smile, "I'm sure it will, Don. How long do you think it'll take?"
Donnie sighs, eyeing the makeshift IV pumping Raphael full of his stolen mutagen. "I have no idea, Leo. An hour? Maybe three? This could take all night. You should head to bed with the others- er, if they're even sleeping after all of… this." He gestures to the frail body of Raphael on the desk.
It'd taken him a while to clean off all the excess plant matter, and under all those vines and weeds, Donnie had found the body of an emaciated turtle mutant- with a pulse. Raph was alive, but barely. Donnie had gotten to work right away on returning Raphael's life source to him, first needing to filter and stabilize the leftover contents of 'the Creep', as Mikey had taken to calling him. He wanted to make sure there wasn't any sort of cross contamination.
"I'll be alright, Donnie. How about you sit down with me while we wait?" Leo pats the spot behind him, eager to provide his brother with some source of comfort. Donnie doesn't decline the offer, moving to sit next to him in an instant.
At some point, he falls asleep, while Leo continues to keep a vigilant eye over his now maskless sibling.
He wonders if this was how Raph felt every day these last three months. Waiting. Hoping. Helpless. How Raphael got through three months of feeling like this, he'll never know.
'That's what brothers are for', he'd said to him. He fiddles with the red bandana in his hands. He saw the state of Raph's eyes once the plants were all cleared.
He had watched over him that entire time… So Leo fights to stay awake, determined to return the favor.
A mere taste of the torture that his brother went through for him for weeks on end.
Hours later, just as the sun is beginning to rise, a soft groan alerts the exhausted Leonardo of Raphael's return. Leo nudges his sleeping sibling in the side, startling Donatello awake.
"Don, he's making noise!"
"He is?!" He jumps up and rushes to Raphael's side. A relieved sigh escapes him, making his shoulders slump. "Thank goodness, it worked. His body is perfectly restored!"
Leo would try to stand to join and take a look, but his body feels like jello. His eyes blur and close themselves against his wishes. He pries them open again with a grunt. "Go ahead and get everyone," He whispers hoarsely, vainly attempting to clear his throat. "I'll keep an eye on him."
Donnie turns his head to glance at Leo's hunched form, frowning at the tired state his brother seems to be in. "Why didn't you sleep? That mutant threw you around pretty badly, I know you must be exhausted."
Leo clenches his jaw, gripping his wooden crutch tightly. "I'll be fine, you know they're just light cuts and bruises."
Donnie's eyes narrow in reply. "That's not what I meant and you know it."
He turns to leave, not wanting anyone to miss another brother's awakening. Leo says nothing as Donnie shuts the barn door behind him, still rubbing the red fabric between his fingers.
They all slept like the dead through most of the morning, only waking themselves up just past noon to try and keep some semblance of a sleeping schedule. While this would be around the turtles' normal wake time, they had to adjust during their stay at the farmhouse. They rarely got to be out in the sun back in the city, so they use the security of the home to their advantage. It was a rough transition at first, but was very much worth it.
"Ugh, I feel like shit," Casey groans in the living room's armchair, holding a bag of ice to the side of his head. "And I'm not even the one who got turned into fertilizer."
Raphael pats him on the shoulder with a look of sympathy. "Easy, Case, that creep nearly smashed your head in! Don said you're lucky your mask was on when he threw you."
Casey sighs and looks up at him with a half-hearted glare, "Dude, trust me, you are the lucky one. Seeing you like that was like somethin' out of a horror movie."
Raph shifts uncomfortably on his feet, disliking the reminder of his near death experience. Thankfully, he remembers nothing other than the plant mutant coming towards him with its vines. Apparently he'd been reduced to the mind of something akin to a dog, as Mikey had embarrassingly described how he planned on taking care of him immediately upon his waking.
It hit him like a brick when he realized that this is like a minor version of what Leo's been dealing with, only remembering a single piece of a near-lethal puzzle.
He moves around the chair to plop onto the couch, oddly feeling physically fine. Not at all feeling like his body had been drained of all its nutrients less than a day before.
Yeah, he really is the lucky one.
He reaches for the remote on the side table, planning on turning on the TV, but as he's about to press the 'on' button, a startled shout and the sound of a crash has him jumping to his feet.
Casey's question of concern is lost to him as he sprints to the back of the house towards the master bathroom.
It was Leo's turn to wash off the sweat and blood left over from last night's battle, under the careful watch of Donatello in case he needed help.
Raph had laughed at first, for how could a simple shower go wrong?
He must've jinxed it.
He'd forgotten to warm it up before sitting down, but it's not a big deal; Leo's taken cold showers before. Sitting on the stool under the showerhead, he turns the knob to a warm temperature, ready to clean himself of yesterday's grime.
But as soon as the chilled spray hits him, he screams.
It's as though his senses are turned off and hot-wired at the same time. He scrambles to get away from the cold, falling off the stool as his leg gives out on him. His shell knocks over the stool as he pushes himself back into the shower corner, not knowing which way to escape the ice pelting his skin.
It's cold! Why am I so cold?!
It's like his body's been frozen solid, all of his muscles seizing at once. He can't even breathe.
I'm drowning, he realizes. I- I fell in here. I have to get out! MOVE!
But his body refuses to listen, sinking lower and lower into freezing, murky depths. No! I can't die like this! Please!
And as though the universe heard his cries, someone grabs his arm and begins to pull.
He almost weeps with joy as he greedily gulps down precious air, his burning lungs grateful for the return of oxygen. But his relief is short lived as he opens his eyes, staring at a bright sky.
Snow gently falls on top of him, but he can't feel it. He can't feel anything.
He's too busy trying to breathe, the burning numbness causing his chest to spasm in massive quakes, a pointless effort in trying to warm himself.
I have to get up. Voices sound through his head in the form of a threat. They're going to finish him off.
Come on, body, budge! And if he doesn't stand up now…
I'm not going to just lie here and die! They'll surely kill him, and then his family.
The events of the invasion flood his mind just before darkness overtakes his vision.
Donnie's already in the bathroom, dragging Leo out of the still running shower. Raph skids to stop at the door, terror filling his veins at the sight of the genius's scared confusion. "What happened?!"
"I-I don't know! He just turned on the water and started freaking out!"
Now he understands Donnie's worry. How could water scare Leo this bad? He quickly shuffles over to Leo's shivering and gasping form, kneeling beside him. "Leo? Calm down! You're safe!"
But his words fall on deaf ears as Leo continues to heave, blinking intermittently between his horrified stares at the white ceiling. Quiet tears pour down his cheeks as he violently shakes.
Raphael's confusion only worsens, for this reaction is nothing like when he remembered their father, or even when talking about what Shredder did to him.
Something's up.
"Guys?! What's going on?" April asks as the rest of the household enters into the bathroom, her tone demanding despite the worry clear on her face.
Donnie's voice shakes as he answers her, standing to grab a lone towel on the counter to try and dry Leo off, "I'm not sure, he must be having a panic attack!"
April's face turns serious as she mulls over the possibility. She turns to the running shower and turns it off, noticing the cold temperature of the water as leftover droplets fall on the back of her hand. "Do you know what triggered it?"
Donnie shrugs, quickly covering the paralyzed Leonardo with the damp towel, "The- the shower, I think? He screamed as soon as it turned on."
April forces herself to calm as she nears them, trying to recall all that Donatello had done to help Leo in the back of the party wagon the day of the invasion. "Donnie, weren't you worried about him having hypothermia when you first looked him over?"
His eyes widen, surprised that despite witnessing her father mutated once again, she was still listening to him as he had gone over Leo's injuries. He hums as he looks down at his shivering brother, "You think the cold water did this?" He looks back up, meeting her eyes.
She nods, motioning her hand as she walks back to the shower. "And I think I have an idea on how to help…" She reaches into the space to take out the stool, turning the knob to a warm setting with her other hand. "Getting him warm will probably snap him out of whatever's going on in his head, right?"
The boys all look to each other and shrug, unwilling to turn down the only idea they have. Donnie removes the towel from Leo as Raphael hoists him up by the shell, sliding him back towards the warming water.
They wait for April's signal as she let's the water run over her palm, checking the temperature. They step inside the cramped space when she waves them in, uncaring over whether or not they soaked their gear.
Leo stops shivering as soon as the warm water hits his shell, but he continues to heave. Donnie sighs, "It doesn't look like it totally worked, but at least he's not shivering anymore. Maybe if we just wait-"
"Hey, uh, D?" Everyone turns to Michelangelo, his hand resting on the light switch. "Can I try something?"
Donnie almost shakes his head no, but honestly? Any ideas are currently welcome. "Go ahead, Mikey."
The freckled teen nods before turning off the light. The room is plunged into partial darkness, the only source of light coming from a lamp in the master bedroom.
Raphael holds back an annoyed grunt, "Mike, tell me… why'd ya turn the damn light off?"
Mikey shrinks in on himself, twiddling his fingers together. "Weeellll, remember the other night? When he remembered Dad?" That gathers the group's attention instantly, so he pushes on. "I noticed that he calmed down when you put the rag over his head, so I thought… Maybe the light bugs him or something, I dunno… Thought I'd give it a try."
April walks over to him, putting a gentle arm around his shoulders, "Hey, it was a good idea, Mikey. Maybe if we try-"
"Leo?!" Raph's voice echoes throughout the bathroom as he places his palm upon Leo's chest, holding him up as he suddenly lurches forward. "You with us, man?"
In the dim light, everyone watches as Leo shakily nods his head, his eyes gently sliding closed as his breaths start to even out.
Donnie blindly grabs for the knob, shutting off the stream of steaming water. "Can someone bring us a lot of towels and a blanket?"
"On it. Come on, Casey!" April takes the startled boy's hand as she flees the room, nearly tripping him in the process.
Mikey shakes his head and moves closer to the shower entrance, squatting next to his dripping older brothers. "Hey, Leo? Does the light bother you?" Leo opens his eyes for a moment to look around before shutting them again. He nods his head, breathing deep. "Do ya want them off for now?" He nods again, faster this time. "No problemo, big bro, we'll keep 'em off for ya."
A loopy grin appears on his face as he nods again, assumedly in thanks. His smile then fades as quickly as it appeared, concern marring his features. His body suddenly goes limp in their arms, exhaustion taking over after those several minutes of violent shaking.
Donnie rests his hand on Leonardo's forehead, pushing him to lean against Raphael. "Leo, do you think you can tell me what just happened?"
Blue eyes stare at the darkened floor as he tries to swallow, hesitantly nodding his head. He knows not to deny Donnie when he uses that tone. He tries to speak, but his voice comes out in nothing but a hoarse croak. He winces, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Does it hurt to talk?" He nods. Yes. "Then I'll just ask you some yes/no questions," Okay. "Was that a panic attack?" … No? Donnie flinches, "Was it a flashback?" Yes. Leo swallows again, his throat tight. Donnie takes a deep breath, plowing on, "Do you remember more?" Yes. The younger turtle hesitates, his tone turning back to normal as it drops to a disbelieving whisper, "You don't remember everything, do you?"
Leo opens his eyes and gives Donatello an awkward smile. Yeah, you guessed it.
He closes his eyes again as Raph tenses beneath him, feeling guilty about whatever they just witnessed him do. They sounded pretty on edge.
A final thought crosses his mind as he begins to pass out-
I still seriously need a shower.