(to my "The Great One's Journey" readers, don't worry. I'm not replacing that story with this. Chapter's just taking a lot longer than I anticipated.)

(to vjdkddk: He could, but from what I remember, he mostly relies on his assistant to keep up his forms. I'll figure something out along the lines.)

(to a guest: Well, that's a pretty wild dream.)

Red walked up to Gary's house. After getting the parcel from that cashier, he trotted straight back to his hometown to give it to old man Oak and be done with it.

He entered without knocking. His neighbors used to complain when he did it, but when he kept doing it repeatedly, they just shrugged and gave up. Some even called him retarded. The boy snorted. This was one of the perks of pretending to be mute — people kept underestimating him, misunderstanding him by thinking along the lines that mute equaled mental inferiority. He then chuckled remembering something. Not so superior when you haven't figured out that the retarded kid from next door had been stealing your money and goods for years now, are ya?

"Ah, Red! Just in time!" Daisy Oak waved at him from the dining table. He looked to the table to see a folded something.

Before the girl could continue her chattering, Red just shoved the parcel up her face.

"Ack!" She pushed back to see what it was. "Huh? Oh, it's for grandpa! You wanna know where he's at?"

The trainer nodded.

"He's over at your house with Mrs. Ketch-- oh my goodness! Is that a blue fuc- err- fricking ditto!?" Red covered his ears with his fingers. God, this banshee just wouldn't shut the hell up!

The blue blob didn't even manage to hop over to his side before being smothered by a gigantic pair of meat bags.

"Oh, you're just the cutest thing!" The almost abnormally proportioned female cooed at his pokemon. Although Red was no expert in pokemon expressions, it didn't take a genius to figure out that this pervert of a ditto was enjoying them very much.

The woman suddenly looked at him and asked seriously, "Hey, you wanna trade pokemon?"

The boy raised an eyebrow. To be honest, he was intrigued. While he already made plans for the ero-blob, he was open for new opportunities. Besides, it would be stupid to miss out on a potentially great offer.

Getting his signal, Daisy offered, "I want you to trade your ditto with my magika--"

Red turned and walked to the door. Never mind. It was stupid of him to expect anything good from the loser's older sister.

"W-Wait! I was only kidding!"

She ran over to the door, the blob and the thing on the table in her hands. She pushed them to him and asked, "My little bro forgot his map. Could you give this to him?"

He smiled and took the map. To which Daisy thanked him. Give this to him? No way in hell.

Map, get!

After leaving the house, he went home with his ditto. Sure enough, he could see Sam's shoes on the shoe rack. The faint sound of moaning could be heard in the entire house. The boy rolled his eyes. The two really thought they were slick and sly when in actuality, they were the only ones who didn't know that everybody else knew what was going on. Hell, even Gary knew.

Breaking his own rule, Red would rather knock the door than risk scarring himself mentally.

"C-Coming!" He would rather not know what type of 'come' they meant.

A few minutes later an old man dressed poorly in a lab coat ran down the stairs to the entrance. The boy saw hickeys forming on his neck and cringed. Hard. The man flinched seeing him in the house.

"Ah, Red! B-Back so soon?"

His answer was a lazy throw of the parcel. Oak caught it easily enough.

"Ah, thank you."

An awkward silence filled the air after that. The geezer looked visibly nervous. The boy almost snorted. He didn't mind Oak. Rather, as long as his mom was happy, he was. Oak must've been much better than his deadbeat of a dad. Plus, if they got married, the idiot Gary would have to refer to him as uncle. The boy couldn't quite hold off his smile at the thought.

Turning around, he left the house.

"W-We'll see you later then! Good bye!"

Red pushed the door closed.

"Holy shit! It's motherfucking professor Samuel Oak! Literally!" exclaimed a shocked Rimuru inwardly.