Author's Note:
I know this took a long time to make. I hope the length of this chapter helps make up for that fact :)
Oh yeah, and by the way, I use italics to show character's thoughts or a flasback scene. Thanks for understanding!
I don't own Jimmy Neutron or any of these characters!
Eyes feeling heavy, a beeping noise in the background, and murmuring voices. That's what I woke up to. Where am I? Did I fall asleep in the lab? Little by little I start regaining my senses. The noises become more pronounced. The struggle of opening my eyelids is nothing to the piercing light that meets them when they finally do. As the light subsides, I start noticing the area around me.
A white tiled ceiling, the distinctive smell of antiseptic and disinfectant, fresh sheets and sunlight rays creeping through the curtains next to me gave the place away as a hospital.
What am I doing here? My head feels heavy as I lift it to get a better view.
"You're awake". A young woman with dark brown hair in a messy bun, blue eyes and wearing light blue scrubs approaches me, a look of sympathy on her face.
"How long have I been here?"
"About 16 hours" She pauses for a bit before continuing. "You appeared in a very strange state, Mr. Neutron. Mostly chemical burn marks, the likes we've never seen before. Are you some kind of chemist?"
Despite the news, I'm sure my eyes light up at the question. I always love it when someone asks me to tell them what I do, probably because it gives me a chance to flaunt my ego. At least, that's what Cindy says.
Cindy.
Realization hit me like a truck. The memories of the accident at the summit, my Quantum Transporter malfunctioning for no reason, and a blinding light suddenly hitting me. Cindy… screaming my name, pushing her way through the crowd and… sobbing as she held me close.
"Where is she?!" I didn't realize I had become agitated until I saw the worried look on the nurse's face.
She gently puts her hand on my shoulder. I take slow deep breaths, and turn my focus on the bags under her blue eyes. I wonder how many times she's had to deal with patients' outbursts.
"You mean your family? Mr. Neutron, calm down. They're here, they never left"
I close my eyes to calm myself down. When I open them, her smile is back. She looks at me with a knowing look before she continues.
"You've got quite the wife, you know. I'm told she made a ruckus in the Waiting Lounge, demanding to know where you were and your condition. When security was eventually called, I'm told she took that man and knocked him on his ass in one motion. It took 6 men to eventually restrain her".
My smile is gone. And not because she wrongly assumed Cindy and I were married. Seeing this, she adds, "Don't worry, she's fine. They just calmed her down and talked to her. She's in the Waiting Lounge now with the rest of your family and friends".
"When can I see her?"
"We'll need to run a few tests first. It will only take a couple of minutes".
I nod.
Her smile returns, this time wider and with a sly raise of her brow. "I'll make sure she's the first to come as soon as we're done".
I like her already.
It feels like I've been floating in a cloud since forever. Experiencing this again after such a long time feels like a dream, a dream of a memory so distant it's like it had never actually happened in the first place.
She still tastes like strawberry.
That's the first thing that came to mind as my thoughts finally return to me. I don't know how long we've been like this. None of us made any attempt to move – to stop or deepen the kiss. But, it doesn't matter, I want this dream to last me as long as possible.
It wasn't until I felt a light push against my chest that my trance is broken. I open my eyes to see hers still closed, a euphoric look on her face and furrowed brows. It's damn cute. I missed that look. I missed her so much.
She slowly opens her eyes, lips still parted. We lock gaze, her limpid green eyes shining under the moonlight. It's like a scene out of a movie.
I take her in fully for what seems to be the tenth time today, I can't get enough of the new look. She's wearing a plain white T-shirt with a light gray blazer on top and dress pants of the same color.
But it's not so much the clothes that strike me the most. She ditched the ponytail with which I've known her since forever and let her hair loose, looking wavier at the ends. That in itself makes her look like a different person, a stranger almost. But then there's the haircut, going for a shorter length, only slightly over her shoulders. And not to mention, the square spectacles adorning her face.
Although I miss the Cindy I've come to know for so long, that Cindy with simpler looks, the one that has plagued my dreams for so long; I have to admit.
She looks so beautiful.
She looks so beautiful.
That's all I could think of, sitting here in the hospital bed. I see her mouth moving, but I'm not paying attention. Instead, I study her face – her slightly disheveled look, hair on her face and hints of bags under her eyes. I wonder if she's been able to sleep the 16 hours I've been out.
She's perfect. I'm so glad she's mine.
She catches me staring, I can see her raise a brow in confusion. "Neutron! Are you even listening to me?"
I grin harder, she only uses my last name when she's really ticked off. For some reason, I really enjoy seeing her like this – and I realize I'm probably the only person in the world who'd think that about their lover.
She sighs and puts a hand on top of mine.
"Look, I know I'm being very naggy about this. But you have to understand, Jimmy. You really scared me back there. I… I really thought you were in serious danger. It's been a while since something like this has happened and…"
I stop her rant by kissing her. A slow and passionate kiss, hopefully one that conveys all the love I'm feeling for this woman right now.
Eventually, we part. I use my free hand to take some strands off her face and tuck them behind her ear, then cup her face – it heats up in a pretty pink color immediately.
"Hey", I start. "I'm here. Everything's fine now. I'm just glad you're safe".
Her eyes show a sign of worry and her expression threatens to change back.
I raise my free hand to elaborate. "If it had only been me in danger, that would've been fine. But it was you who I was worried about. If anything had happened to you, I can't even imagine…"
"Stop talking like that! As if your life meant any less-"
"You stop sticking around when I'm screaming at you to run away!"
There is a determination in her eyes that makes my heart jump.
"You think I'd ever leave you? Are you kid-"
I kiss her again. I don't think I'll ever get tired of doing this. She lets my hand go to bring both her arms around me, deepening the kiss.
When we eventually part again, her shade of pink is slightly darker.
"We're in this together… til the end".
I can't help but stare at her. What she just said, it reminds of that time…
Before this whole accident, it had been a while since I last saw Cindy. She had moved to another city a few months ago. A day before she left, we had a heated argument – one of the ones I don't enjoy. We both ended up saying things we regretted, and broke it off.
I was so angry with her, how could she leave now, one year away from graduating? I didn't even go say goodbye when she left. If it weren't for my friends, especially Libby, I would have left things off as they were. They cornered me, sat me down and let me lay it all out. I told them all my side of the story, my gripes with her decision and my mistakes. And then… a realization came.
I quickly left on the hovercar, caught up to her car in the middle of the highway, made her stop and told her everything I felt. She knew better than to interrupt. After all, she always complained I never spoke of my feelings. I made sure to leave no details out. And finally, when I was done, I told her what I had realized.
Back then, when I said what I said, I thought maybe I had gone too far. We had been together for a long time, yeah, but I never considered if she felt the same way. Nonetheless, I threw caution to the wind and said it anyway. That could have been my last chance, after all.
Just like now.
"I love you, Cindy".
She's as red as it gets. She quickly averts my eyes and looks to the side.
Maybe it really was too soon for us. Maybe we weren't really ready to take that step yet, if ever. My heart aches at the notion.
Almost as if she read my mind, she quickly looks up at me and lifts my face to look at her again. She has the most radiant smile.
"I love you, too".
"I… I can't"
My trance is broken again, her quiet whisper bringing me back from such distant memories.
Deep down, I figured she'd say that. Despite all our time together, all our adventures, all the tribulations we'd had to overcome, this is what finally put the nail in the coffin.
"Cindy…" I started to say. She's looking away now and trying hard to hide the fact that she wants to cry. I should know, I've seen that look so many times.
"I know I hurt you. Believe me, I do."
"Do you?", she says mockingly.
"Yes" I keep my ground, not falling for her attempt at starting an argument. We can't go there, not yet. First I have to make everything clear.
She turns her back to me, taking a few steps away and my heart races.
"I know you didn't deserve it!", I practically shout it out. "I know none of you did! But I want you to know, I did what I did because I had no other choice. You know me, I always think the possibilities through! I wanted to find a way to stay in hiding, but not lose you. To stay out of the public eye, but keep you around. At first, I thought I could solve this in a jiffy and be back in your arms before you realized it. But, as time passed, I realized that not only was I being unrealistic, I was also being selfish. I always had you in my plans, Cind. Please believe that! But I never considered if that's what you wanted, what you deserved".
Her hands ball into fists. "There you go making decisions for me again!"
I can feel droplets of water falling softly on my face.
She bends down to pick some things up – one being her purse, the other one must be that gun of hers. I wonder if it was real. She takes more steps and I'm forced to follow.
"Well, what did you want me to do? Tell you to drop school and stay with me? Would you have been happy with that?"
She doesn't answer and keeps walking.
"The answer is no! You wouldn't have, and neither would I. Seeing you lose your future, your career, your life to waste it away with a criminal who can't even show his face!"
An all-too-familiar roar in the sky and the rain starts pouring out on us. She doesn't stop. Instead, she pulls out a key from her purse. One I recognize immediately. With a push of a button, the hovercar comes to view. It seems that the cloaking system I set up still works after all this time. Before I start asking myself the specifics of how she's been maintaining it, I rush in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.
Although it's raining, I can tell she's crying. I want to hold her so bad.
"This wasn't a meteor crashing, or a time travelling robot, or even the League of Villains! This was serious, Cind. You know that!"
She takes a moment to take in what I said. She wipes her face and looks away again, like she can't even look at me anymore.
"So were we".
"… and then out of nowhere, she kisses me!"
"What? No way!"
"I know!" I chuckle a little at that. "But it was all a misunderstanding. You see, in Gorlackian culture, a kiss is a seal of trust between two parties. It signifies that you believe in each other".
She covers her mouth to stifle a laugh, "That's some trust then, huh. Oh well, I guess if you think about it, alien culture is not really supposed to be like ours".
Now it's my turn to hold back a laugh, "Yeah, try telling Cindy that. She held a grudge against April since she caught us doing our little 'trust' ritual a few too many times for her liking".
Her smile grew wider, "You really love her, don't you?".
I don't think my face could have been any redder. "How did you-?"
"It's quite obvious. The way your face lights up when you talk about her, I don't need to be a genius to see that".
I ponder for a bit. "I honestly don't know how to reply to that. I'm still coming to terms with it myself".
After a while, she says, "Well, if it's any consolation, I think that girl thinks the world of you, too".
Since I don't reply, she continues, "Well, anyway, I still can't believe I actually met the Boy Genius of Retroville! You look much more different than when I saw you on the news. Much… older". As she says this, she lightly touches my arm.
Is it just me, or was she making a pass at me? No, I must be overthinking things.
"Yeah, well It's been a while since I really went on a big adventure. School stuff, you know? Priorities". I kept looking at her hand just resting there. She didn't move.
"So… yeah…" I'm trying real hard to say something. "Well, uh, I think it's time for the next test, right Ms. Newman?"
She jumped a bit at that, "Oh! Yes! Let's see here…". She looks at the clipboard hanging in the railings of the bed. "Ah, nope! You won't have one for an hour still. So, don't worry about it". She says this with a wink.
Ok, I did not imagine that.
"And, more importantly. What is this Ms. Newman business? Please, call me Sophia!"
What's up with me today? I can't think of a response to save my life!
"May I call you James?"
The sound of my name brings me back. I laugh at my predicament. A gloating, self-aggrandizing, ego-driven so-called genius that can't comprehend that a girl can take an interest in him. Just like Cindy once said.
"Actually, I'd prefer if-"
There's a knock on the door. Sophia stares at me for a bit before taking off to answer it. I can't see who she's talking to but almost as fast as it started, she closes the door a little and turns to me with a sad smile.
"Your parents are here".
Sure enough, Mom and Dad walk in – Dad with his usual happy-go-lucky smile and Mom with a more conflicted look, smiling but with a worried expression.
"I'll leave you guys alone", Sophia politely interjects. She then smiles genuinely at me. "See you later, James".
She closes the door behind her before I have a chance to respond.
There is an awkward silence between us at first. Dad, clueless as ever, speaks first.
"That nurse sure is nice huh, Jimbo? Pretty, too…" He groans a bit when Mom elbows him on the side. "Oh! Of course that doesn't really matter to him. Our Jimbo is already spoken for".
For the second time today, I feel my face getting hot.
"Doesn't take a genius to see how you look at each other. Why, it's just like your mother and I back in our younger days".
He chuckles when Mom elbows him a second time. "We still do, obviously".
I'm starting to see why I see Cindy the way I do. I read somewhere that boys tend to look for someone that resembles their mother's personality. If Mom can change from lovable to violent at a moment's notice like that…
I don't have time to ponder the implications there because Dad continues…
"Besides, you should have seen her when she came out of this room, Jimbo! She was positively beaming! She came to us and hugged us, told us you're okay and that she's going back home to Austin. She was practically skipping on her way out! We started thinking you had proposed to her! But then your mom made the observation that she wasn't wearing an engagement ring…"
"Jimmy…", Mom interrupted with a louder tone. "That isn't why we needed to come see you right now".
Seeing her serious look, I forced myself to stop imagining Cindy skipping towards the entrance of the hospital and looked at her.
"Of course we wanted to know you're okay, but… your father received a call".
Dad's face practically jumps in realization. "Oh! Yes, Jimmy. You see, after Cindy left I got a call on my cellphone. It was the City Hall of Retroville".
City Hall? That's strange. What would they want with my Dad?
"I don't understand".
Dad's expression completely changed. His goofy demeanor was gone, now nothing but concern. "I'm afraid it's not good news, son. It seems that during your accident, there was more to it than we thought. Your invention… when it blew up, something came out of it".
"'Beams of energy', they said", Mom continued. "They hit three people. They've been missing since, Jimmy".
My mind is racing to make sense of all of this. That can't be. The machine should've been off, why did it just start on its own? Not only that, but the quantum energy expanded for some reason. If it did actually hit three people, who knows where they could have gone? There were no coordinates set! And then, what if they weren't sent anywhere at all…? What if…?
"It's not just that, son". My dad puts his hand on my shoulder. I realize I'm shaking now. "City Hall informed us… the families of the affected and the city… are preparing to file a lawsuit".
All my thoughts dissolve away at this revelation. I'm being sued... for what?
As if she could read my thoughts, my Mom grabs my hand and squeezes hard. I see now she's crying. "For accidental manslaughter, Jimmy. They think you killed them".
I make no effort to stop her as she pushes past me. Among the sounds of the heavy rain, I can still hear her climb into the hover car and sit in the pilot's seat. I'm soaking wet at this point, but I make no effort to cover myself. I'm just stuck looking down at the ground at this point, feeling sorry for myself.
This is it, huh. There you go again, Jimmy, fucking up the last hope you had. I knew you would, this is just like it's always been. After all this time thinking of this moment, what you'd say to her, how she'd understand, how she'd forgive you – still nothing went as you expected, did it? Hasn't your entire life up to this point taught that already?
I close my fist in frustration. Is this really as far as I'll go? Have all these years really shaped me into the pitiful man I fought so hard to convince myself I wasn't?
"Cindy, wait". She stops just as she's about to turn the key in the ignition.
It takes me a while to find the words.
"I… I never expected you to come back to me, not after what I did to you. But that's not the only reason why I needed to see you. There is something else".
The park lights have come on. Now I can see her clearly again. She has a serious look, like she's contemplating whether to stay and hear me out or not.
"There is something I want to give you. But, not here. We have to go somewhere else, a place you know".
Her expression doesn't change, but her brown knit together slightly. I'm sure she's considering whether it's safe or not to go with me. I hope I've shown her that she can at least still trust I am not that kind of man.
"Where?"
Despite the aching in my heart, I can't really help but give a sad smile.
"The lab"
I'm ready to finally let go.
"I can't just let go of this!"
With a whimper, Goddard closes his frontal lid, hiding the screen that displayed his third and last option to get out of this predicament.
Like the rest, it was unfeasible.
I take the last sip of my Purple Flurp and throw the can with the rest laying on my table. I hear the clacking noise as they tumble on each other. I don't know how many I've had up to this point. I don't know how long I've gone without sleeping either, but I do know I have to keep going.
"There must have been something I overlooked. The power supply wasn't it, it was undamaged when I went over what was left of the machine. Not the quantum conduit either, it exploded but it couldn't have activated on its own. So, what else could it have been?"
It's been two weeks since the trial. Two weeks preceded by two infernal months of defending myself in court, of hearing people go on about how my mere presence has made this city a worse place, how I've single handedly destroyed jobs and lives.
I never knew the people of Retroville harbored such disdain for me. What they called "my antics" stopped being funny to them when it started threatening people's livelihood. And this last incident seemed to be the final straw.
After all these years, the city finally caved under public opinion and officially came after me. The media storm was huge, too. I'm sure everyone in the country must know of me by now, and not in the way I would have wanted, either.
Just another failure to add to the list, I guess.
Of course, I haven't really had time to check how things are outside for myself. I've instead been here cooped up in the lab, not letting anyone in and not leaving either until I figure this out and clear my name once and for all.
Jimmy Neutron is now a convicted murderer. Accidental manslaughter, really, but everyone seems to think of me as no less than a criminal. Everyone, but those who really know me. Know who I am, who I truly am. My friends, my parents, Cindy…
Ugh, I can't think of her right now. I have to figure this out now. I won't leave until I can decidedly prove my wrongful conviction. After that… I'll make it up to her. I've promised myself that. But first, this. I've never had a problem I couldn't solve; it can't change now! Come on, come on!
"Think! Think!" I try for what seems like the tenth time today. I go over all the details I know: when I arrived, when I set up the machine, my presentation, the accident, Cindy running over to me, waking up at the hospital, the missing men…
"Damn it!" I bang my head against the keyboard. It makes a beeping noise. I don't bother to check what it is. I'm just so tired.
A voice jolts me back. It's her voice. Speaking through the lab's communicator. I must have hit the mute button.
"- understand how you're feeling. I might not get it entirely, but I understand. Please, Jimmy - no more. Stop isolating yourself". She stays silent for a while, probably thinking I'll respond. She's not the first person to try this to get me to come out. They tried everything: using a voice recording of me saying the word "open", a strand of hair, even a strand of Cindy's hair. That one would have worked if I hadn't caught it on time and re-locked the door manually. Eventually, they gave up and just started talking to me. I don't know how long it was until I muted them.
The lab now has a foolproof security system. No one can get in if I don't want them to. At this point, no one can know what I'm up to. Even less see the pitiful state I'm in.
I wait to see what she'll do next. She doesn't leave.
"Maybe you think you don't need us", she continues. "But we need you. I need you. Not Jimmy the scientist, or Jimmy the genius with something to prove. Just… you".
She just stands there, waiting for me to say something. Come on, you idiot! Say something! Tell her you're okay, anything!
My hand reaches over to the microphone button and hovers there. I hesitate. As soon as I answer, will I ever be able to return here? If I start going this route, I may as well accept my fate as it is.
No, I can't.
I watch the screen. She's just standing there, looking at the door. Soon enough, I hear her sobs. She's crying. My heart breaks.
"I love you, Jimmy. I thought you loved me".
She slowly turns around.
No!
I push the button to open the door and quickly jump out of my chair, only to trip with Goddard. He lets out a yelp and I notice his top compartment is open, a mechanical hand coming out of it. He takes a look at me as he presses some buttons on the keyboard. Cindy stops dead in her tracks, then walks backward into the frame again and returns to the communicator.
"Jimmy, I know you can hear me. Listen to me, please. I understand how you're feeling. I might not get it entirely…"
"What-?"
Before I know it, Cindy's video feed becomes smaller, taking a small part of the screen. The rest is filled with countless other feeds. All of them Cindy. Different clothes, in some of them she's with Libby, others with Carl and Sheen, one of them with Mom. These were all taken at different times. How many of these did I miss?
Goddard's retractable hand returns to his body. He whines as he gets closer to me. His chest compartment opens again, revealing the last message displayed.
LET GO AND MOVE ON.
I can't hold back the tears anymore.