Taylor

Breakfast was a runny ladle of oatmeal served out of a paper bowl. There had been tons of better options, but I'd gone with oatmeal because it was the first thing I'd seen walking in and felt too embarrassed afterward to throw away a whole bowl of food after I tasted it. For now, I suffered in silence. I tried to make it edible with brown sugar, but it just produced a sweet slop that I spent all of breakfast poking absentmindedly at. My one lifeline was a cup of warm water in which a packet of black tea was steeping. I needed a pick-me-up if I was going to get through the day.

I hadn't been able to sleep well last night. Too many nightmares.

I thought I was hiding it pretty well, but with the glances Hailey kept shooting at me, I guess some of my anxiety had managed to leak through. She hadn't brought it up though, which was probably for the best. I had already told a teacher what was happening with Emma and me. Hopefully they would be able to set her straight, before she got it in her head this was okay behaviour. The other four people in my group were nice, but it felt way too early for me to share something big like this with them. We were hardly even friends and I didn't want to be that girl.

But me clamming up seemed to throw the dynamics of the group all off. It was like a ship attempting to sail but the anchor had never been brought up and I didn't want to drag along the ocean floor. I slurped down my tea, shoved some oatmeal in my face, and told myself to act normal. I wasn't going to bring down the mood.

It was a lot easier to think that than put it into practice, though. Emma's words kept ringing through my ears. It had been such a stupid little comment, but it still wriggled down and festered in my gut. She'd been the person to help me after my mom died. I couldn't imagine her ever treating me like this.

I didn't even know why she did it. That was the thing that was really tearing me apart.

I nodded along with the conversation while trying to force down enough food to survive. Lyn and Elizabeth were arguing about… something to do with a baseball team back in two-thousand and four, though they had started off talking about the best home run they'd ever seen. I kept nodding in and out of the conversation, so I had no idea how they had managed to get to this point. The two of them had a penchant for going off on tangents.

"I'm telling you, nothing is going to beat game four of the world series. The hype! The fans! Everyone was losing their minds. My grandpa said that game was the best day of his life and he's like eighty! My grandma wanted to kill him! Johnny Damon knocks it out of the park, in the first inning. The soul of a city restored in one day. Please, please, don't try and tell me there was a better game."

Lyn emphasized every point with a jab at the air and I couldn't help but lean back in case they misjudged their own strength. Liz just laughed and shook her head.

"Oh, please," Liz said, her voice filled with derision. "You're only saying that 'cause your family is from Mass. It was the best game for Boston, but there are better games. There are better World Series games. That one in like the seventies, with the Pirates and Yankees…"

"The 1960 World Series?" Lyn asked with a grin.

"Not all of us memorized every baseball game, Lyn."

"She has a point, Lyn," Dominique butted in. "There are some damn good games out there. I mean that Boston game was good, but the best? Nah."

Lyn looked shocked and they held a hand to their chest as they looked around for support. They looked a table or two down, calling out to some guys hovering nearby. "Jeremy, c'mon dude, you have to agree with me. Ty, get over here, I'm being ganged up on!"

Hailey wisely stayed out of the debate, nibbling on her sausage. I glared in envy as I slurped down another spoonful of goo.

"Everyone, please finish up the last of your food!" Miss Glenna yelled over the rumble of voices, "We'll be meeting up in the lodge for your assigned classes soon!"

I watched her rushing around the cafeteria, trying to shepherd waves of students. I wanted to go up and ask what had happened after I'd caught her at dinner the night before. I hadn't heard from Miss Harmony about any punishment or if they needed any follow-up from me and now wasn't sure what that meant. Had they even talked to Emma yet? I didn't want to go up and pressure her to get something done when she looked so busy and may not have even been able to get around to it. What if they were waiting for classes to officially begin before putting forth any formal action? Then again, what if it was already over and I was overthinking things? Maybe they just hadn't informed me because I was a student and didn't need to know about disciplinary measures taken.

I told myself I'd track her down after the hike planned for today if I didn't hear anything before then. No use jumping the gun.

"Taylor, you gonna finish up and head out with us?" Dominique asked, already getting up from the table.

It took a second for me to realize that she was the last one left and that the other three had already wandered off to throw plates away and return their trays.

"I'll come, sorry! I'm a little out of it. I didn't sleep that well."

"Hah, yeah I totally get you. Nerves can really fuck up your rhythm. I was the same way on my first away trip with the team. I don't know how I would have survived it if I didn't have Hailey and Lyn."

I was lucky my legs were so long. Dominique was power-walking through the cafeteria to try and catch up to the rest of the group. I had to push myself to keep up with her. It left me walking slightly behind her while she turned her head back to speak to me.

"I know," I said, "You all are such good friends. Maybe I'll try and get on the softball team. I mean, it helped all of you get to find each other right? And I mean, it'd be nice to get onto a team with people I know?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find your own group. You don't have to worry about trying to fit with us," she said with a shrug and wave of her hand.

I frowned and wanted to say something to that, but wasn't really sure how to do it without making things seem more awkward. Yeah, I didn't really know anything about the sport, but I was hanging out with these four for now. I hadn't really known a lot about fashion either, but Emma and I had gotten along before all of this.

We left the cafeteria and walked past the fire pit to enter the camp lodge. It was more like a hall. It was the only building big enough to fit all the campers reliably in case of rain for meetups and discussions. It didn't look like rain was on the horizon, but it was a little chilly in the morning so I guessed the teachers had opted for it instead of shivering in the brisk September air. The schedules we'd gotten yesterday said that we were supposed to conclude tonight with a big bonfire and I sort of wished that we'd been allowed to have one early in the morning too. It would have made me a lot cheerier.

The room looked packed as we came in. We must have been one of the last groups to arrive. Probably my fault. My eating hadn't been the only thing slow about me this morning, and I could tell the others had lingered to give me time to catch up.

Students had foregone any sense of group cohesion and instead sat on the ground in one big cluster. But if you looked hard, you could sort of tell who had come in together and how that had decided where they sat.

I caught one of the girls that I'd seen hanging around Emma watching me. She was small, cute in a way that made me think of middle school, with shoulder-length brown hair and a top that was not made for this chill. I wasn't sure what problems she'd have with me, I didn't even know who she was, but after Emma and then that athletic girl had both decided to be so mean to me, I wasn't taking my chances. If she was going to start anything, I'd at least have an eye on her. Emma and the others didn't really look like they were paying attention though, so maybe I was just overreacting.

Being one of the last to arrive, we got the worst spot: near the front. We had to bear the full brunt of the teacher's cheer as they surveyed the group.

"Hello everyone!" Mr. Dail said, taking center stage, "Did you all have a good sleep last night?"

He got a lukewarm response, which wasn't surprising so early in the morning. I thought for a second he was going to ask the question again and make us yell back a more enthusiastic answer. Thankfully, it looked like he didn't want to drag this on any longer than need be.

"Yep, that frigid mountain air really does it for me too! Now as you may be aware from your schedules, the different groups are being assigned classes based on their chaperone. It should be in your paper if you forgot. If you forgot your paper, hopefully someone in your group remembers."

He paused for a laugh, but only got a smattering of whispers.

"In the morning you'll have a class to let you learn a bit about what is really going on out here. Things that we in the city don't know about nature. After that, we'll be going on a hike where lunch will be provided and then you'll get some free time after for sports and hanging out. Now, if you could all get into your groups, we'll have you headed off to class!"

The teachers split off from each other, headed to the four corners of the room. Each of them was yelling for their groups as they tried to make themselves as visible as possible. Students got to their feet slowly, trying to push their way through the throng to their teacher.

Emma's friend, who had been staring at me, looked like she was going to head my way, but stopped after giving my group a once-over. I guessed she didn't want to risk getting in big trouble with four people she didn't know. It didn't really make me feel comfortable that the only thing standing between me and harassment were some groupmates I wasn't totally friends with.

I wouldn't have to worry about them. We didn't have the same classes. I tried to put it out of my head.

Our chaperone, Miss Harmony, was a short woman in a blue dress covered in phone booths. Due to her height, she hopped to make sure people knew where she was, even surrounded by a crowd.

"Alright, is everyone here?" she asked, trying to be heard over the other teachers. "Good! Please follow me while we meet up outside. We're heading north to a classroom with one of the counselors. There, we'll be diving into the wonderful world of geology. I hope none of you have a rocky experience."

That got a genuine groan out of some of the students, but I smiled. She was trying her best and it was nice to know the teachers were at least trying. It didn't seem to be a sentiment shared by too many of the people around me, but I guess most kids weren't thrilled to be stuck in a class learning about rocks and dirt.

At least we weren't the group stuck hearing about bugs.

There wasn't much to say about the class other than a lot of talk about sediment and limestone. In fact, by the end of it, my head was so full up with facts that I forgot I had been trying to avoid being caught without my group. I stayed behind to ask Miss Harmony about the punishment Emma might have gotten, but she wasn't privy to the details, so I was left waiting to hear something from Miss Glenna.

I knew I was probably being a tad overzealous, but I was curious and worried. Maybe I'd gone too far telling a teacher this soon. Aside from a push, it had only been some cruel words.

I walked out of the classroom alone, though the area around us was still filled with teenagers, hanging out and chatting in small circles, waiting between this and our hike. I wasn't sure where everyone else had wandered off to so I tried to make myself comfortable on a bench. I pulled the same Animorphs book I'd been leafing through this whole trip out of my backpack.

It wasn't long before someone interrupted me. She had a brown bob cut and wore a green blouse with skinny jeans. She smiled at me and took a seat on the bench next to me.

I didn't recognize her face, and definitely hadn't seen her hanging around Emma. I hiked up my glasses and tried to put on a friendly smile. "Hi, can I help you?"

"Yeah, hi!" she said. "I'm sorry to bother you."

"No, no, it's okay. It's just a book. I can always pick it up later," I said "I'm Taylor."

"Yeah, I know. I'm Isabelle. I'm sorry we're meeting like this. I just…" She bit her lip. "I know you don't know me, but I heard some girls talking about you this morning and... well, it felt wrong not to try and warn you about it."

"Are you talking about Emma?" I asked, a pit forming in my stomach.

Isabelle nodded. "Yeah, I think that was her name. Sorry, I didn't really know who she was before today. She came up to talk with some friends of hers in my group and I got to hear this whole story about you from her."

"What did she have to say?" I said, then realized how embarrassingly eager I sounded. I tried to walk it back. "I mean, thank you for coming to me to say something. What was she saying about me? Was she talking about pranks?"

"I mean, not really?" Isabelle said, though it came out like a question. "There was a lot of stuff about you she mentioned. There may have been a prank thing in there somewhere that I'm forgetting, but it wasn't the focus. I'm not exaggerating when I say there was a lot. Stuff about why she didn't like you and how she wanted to mess with you once we finally got back to school. It just… it didn't sit right with me."

I could feel myself tense up. I leaned towards her. "What was it? What did she say?"

"Isabelle! Are you ready to go? We're getting ready for the hike," someone shouted from the distance.

I looked over and saw another group of girls looking our way, the leader waving at us.

Isabelle looked apologetic. "Sorry, those are my friends. I have to get changed for the hike. Do you mind if we talk about it then?"

I didn't want to wait but forced myself to shake my head. "No, it's fine. We'll talk before lunch? Maybe after? I mean, just catch up with me whenever you want. And thank you again so much for coming to talk to me about this."

"Yeah, it's no problem, Taylor. I'll see you on the hike," she said. She hurried over to her group.

For the second time that trip, I looked down at my book, not truly reading. This time, I at least was wise enough to realize I wasn't going to get anything else out of it and just tucked it away. It almost seemed too good to be true, a girl coming up ready to just spill all the things that had been eating me up these last few weeks, but it's not like I could just ignore this. It didn't seem like Emma was inclined to reveal what exactly had changed her mind about our friendship, to me at least, and I doubted her other friends were going to let me know. It was the best chance I had.

I was going to risk it.

But first I had to find my group. Hopefully, they could keep my mind off things.

I wasn't sure what they had been thinking before they headed out. Obviously, we weren't talking in class about thoughts for our free time, but they were gone pretty quickly without letting me know where they were headed. I had to assume it was back to the cabin, but maybe they decided to go play some sports? It sounded like something they would do. I didn't want to look like some lost girl wandering around looking for her parents, so I had to head somewhere.

I looked for Hailey's hair in the crowd, but I couldn't catch so much as a glimpse. There weren't many students in between buildings, so that wasn't surprising, but I'd keep my eyes open while I walked. The cabin was my best bet. They were probably getting changed.

I made my way east, taking the trail that headed back towards the Cafeteria before rounding left. I didn't want to be one of the people tearing up what little grass remained just so they could get to their destination faster. Wasn't the point of this whole retreat to learn about nature?

I barely made it to the middle ring of buildings before a foot from behind caught my ankle and I went down hard. My bag jostled behind me, smacking me in the back after I hit the ground with my front. I groaned as I got on my hands and knees. My palms must have been rubbed raw on the rocks and I could only hope I hadn't skinned something. Thank god I had changed to my jeans instead of sticking with shorts.

"Glad to see you've found somewhere you belong, Hebert."

I glared up at a face I was unfortunately becoming familiar with. She smirked at me for a second, looking like a dog who'd cornered a squirrel. Then she walked off, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder.

"What's your problem?" I said to her back, tears in my eyes.

"You're my problem, Hebert," she said, not turning around. "See you at the campfire tonight."

She left unimpeded, with only a few scattered groups of students having seen what had happened. It seemed this was going to be a thing with her, rushing in to knock me down and then heading out before anyone could do anything. I swore I was going to tell Miss Glenna what had happened the moment I saw her. That girl would be getting in just as much trouble as Emma.

At the sound of footsteps, I half-expected a teacher to be summoned by my thoughts, but instead caught Lyn jogging their way over.

"Taylor, are you okay?" They held out a hand to help me up.

"Yeah, I mean, I guess," I pulled myself to my feet. I glanced at my hands to double-check and they didn't look too bad. No blood, anyway. "I don't need to go to a nurse or anything. I just want to wash them off."

Lyn nodded along with my assessment, looking me over. "Good to hear. Fuck, I don't know what the hell Sophia was thinking."

"You know who she is?" I asked, shocked to finally have a name to pin to the person.

Lyn grimaced.

I'd probably sounded a lot more accusatory than I had meant to. "I'm not blaming you for what she did or anything. It's just, I've got no idea who she is or why she's been acting like such a jerk to me. I've never even really met her."

"Yeah, I know a few of the girls on the track team and her name's already going around there. I mean, she's good, but when they said her personality left a lot to be desired… shit, I don't know. I thought maybe she was just a sore winner or something. C'mon, we're sitting over there." They gestured towards some of the picnic tables outside the cafeteria.

They'd grabbed a table in an odd spot by the door. It was blocked partially by a beam and up against the building, in such a way that it was hard to spot if you weren't either heading out of the cafeteria or actively looking for it. Hailey, Liz, and Dominique were spread out around the table, talking to each other. The three girls shot glances over at the two of us headed their way.

I realized they were probably talking about me. They did just see me beef it pretty hard in front of them.

"Hey, that spill looked pretty nasty. You still good to go on the hike?" Dominique asked, giving me a once-over.

"Uhm, yeah," I said gesturing down at my sneakers and jeans. "I just need to throw my backpack in the cabin before we head out, but I could probably bring it if we're short on time. Or if you don't want to come with me."

I added that part in last, like it hadn't been my first thought.

"I guess it's okay then. If you're sure you're alright," Dominique said, and I realized she was probably asking more about my injuries than my clothes. "We're probably just gonna hang out here if you wanna head over to the cabin on your own."

"No, it's fine. I only have some notebooks in my bag. It'll be fine!" I said hastily, juggling my backpack a bit to convince everyone I could handle it. "I'll just sit with you guys until we head out."

"Well, if you're sure," Dominique said. "So Hailey, like I was saying about this video. You have to check it out. This kid yodels like… what the fuck!"

I was thankful it sounded like the others were okay with dropping what they'd seen happen because I didn't really want to discuss it either. At least not with anyone that wasn't a teacher. I didn't want to get somehow stuck in the middle of some social war, because I knew there was no way I would win that type of battle against Emma.

Besides, I had something more important to focus on for the future. Anxieties about my meeting with Isabelle gnawed at my gut like maggots. The voices of the others in my group were a background noise that did nothing to help drown out my fears.

It was music to my ears when I heard the ranger give a call for students to gather up. We'd be leaving, but more importantly, I'd be getting my answers.

I had nothing but regret for bringing my backpack along. A few notes and my book felt light and easy at the start of the walk, but a mile had passed and then another. The constant jostle of paper and pens had started chafing against my shoulders and with every step it only grew heavier.

I couldn't wait to be done with this.

I had managed to find Isabelle pretty easily. She and her group were one of the ones closest to the front, but after she gave me a wave to make sure I knew she hadn't forgotten, it looked like she was happy to hang up there and let me fret in the back. I was trying my hardest not to bother her, but it was difficult to convince myself the longer this dragged on.

We'd only gotten one teacher to come along, Miss Glenna. The person leading this group was the ranger we had met at the first camp-wide meeting. He gave us a quick speech about sticking to the trail and not picking up or touching anything, before heading off without much fanfare.

We'd headed southwest on a dirt path that was just barely visible under the cover of trees an hour ago and had just kept walking and walking. Interspaced with what felt like long sections of constant chatter was the ranger's drawling voice describing the area we were hiking through. What flowers were blooming this time of year, the type of sediment that made up that creekbed, what were those weird ants you found everywhere, and what trees grew in this area. It seemed that the school had decided instead of trying to teach everyone everything, they were teaching every group something and trying to cover it all on the walk.

I had a feeling this retreat may have been much longer in the past. Budget cuts had probably come into play somewhere.

We finally broke for lunch at what must have been halfway through the journey. It was hard to tell how far along we really were, but the trail had started to wind its way west and north which made me think we were turning around. We took lunch in a part of the trail that had opened up into a glen, without many places to sit, but plenty of room to hang out in.

As Miss Glenna and the ranger took towards the front, trying to corral a bunch of starving students to stand in an orderly line, Isabelle finally came my way. I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was anxiousness to get this over with or excitement to finally hear the truth. Either way, I tried to look like I wasn't bothered.

"God, that was bad. I didn't realize how out of shape I was," she said with a smile, as she stretched out her legs.

"Yeah, it was pretty rough. I really shouldn't have brought my backpack," I answered sheepishly.

"Why did you bring your backpack?"

"Well… I was worried about leaving some of the stuff in a cabin. I mean, it's a little dumb, because what if I lost it out here, but still… anyway, do you wanna talk about it now?" I asked, trying to get to the heart of the matter.

Isabelle winced. "Do you mind if we get a little bit away from here? I don't really want anyone to catch us talking about some of this stuff."

Isabelle glanced over her shoulder and I followed her eyes to Emma, grabbing a tin of Vienna sausages and crackers from the ranger. Yes, that probably was for the best. Isabelle had been nice enough to come to me in the first place about this. I didn't want her to get caught up in any bullying just because she decided to help me.

"Sure thing. Do you want to hang back behind a tree, or…?"

"Follow me, I saw another trail heading off to the south," she said, pointing towards what looked like an opening in the bushes that lined the rough dirt path. "We'll walk down a little ways to talk."

I tried to map out the path she was pointing to, but from my perspective, it didn't look like a trail. It was more that some bushes and plants hadn't fully grown back during the spring and so there was an opening you could head down before you were swallowed up by the forest. My anxieties returned full force and my apprehension must have been obvious because she quickly tried to make me feel safe.

"Don't worry, I have a good sense of direction," she said with a smile. "We won't get lost, I promise."

Common sense lost to curiosity as I nodded. "Okay, lead the way."

We tried not to stand out as we walked away from the pack of students. The two of us hung by the opening in the bushes as if it was just somewhere we were talking. Isabelle took one last glance around to make sure we weren't about to be yelled at by the ranger for stepping on a plant, before we both ducked through the gap and away from prying eyes.

I'd been right. The "trail" Isabelle had seen barely existed. She led me down what felt like a random zigzagging path into the underbrush.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" I asked, not long into our walk.

"Yeah, don't worry. Sorry, I do wanna get away from the others. If we did get caught, I'd like to at least finish talking before a teacher comes to yell at us."

I didn't think there was any chance of someone hearing us this far away from the group, but I didn't want to sound rude. I pushed my worries aside as she led me deeper and deeper. The route she took, not even on a path at this point, wound its way through the woods, before finally stopping at a massive tree. I'm sure she was feeling just as exhausted as I was and despite my eagerness to hear what she had to say, I was hoping this would be quick so I'd have enough time to rest when we got back.

"This is good," Isabelle finally said, as I glanced around.

It was eerie how quiet everything got when you weren't surrounded by other people. I couldn't even hear any of the students. The low buzz of insects was a constant around us, but without that, it would have been completely silent. I didn't even hear birds in the trees.

"So what is it? What did Emma say about me? Was she talking about our friendship? Why did she cut me off? Was it something about her new friends?"

Isabelle looked like she was chewing over her words as she glanced to the side. "Yeah, it's like… I'm not really sure where to start, sorry. Give me a second."

"Well, why don't you start where she started? Walk me through everything. Tell me what she said, word for word."

"Okay, okay, I can do that. So, Emma… so, she came over to talk with my friends, you know?" Isabelle began, her eyes darting all over the place. It gave me a little relief to see that someone else felt as awkward about this whole thing as I did. "They knew each other through some mutual friends though had never met up, that sort of thing, you know? Well, it all started off not really about you, just introducing herself saying how she knew everyone and… did you hear that?"

I had. The snap of wood had sounded so out of place in the quiet of the forest, but I had ignored it, more concerned with answers. Isabelle stared off towards where I'd heard the noise come from.

Suddenly, she ducked down, clutching the bark of the tree we leaned against. I copied her. We both peered out from behind our hiding spot.

"What?" I asked, dropping my voice. "What did you see?"

She shushed me, still staring intently off into the distance. A thousand thoughts surged through my mind. Shamefully, the first one was Emma coming up to make fun of me in front of someone else, but then my brain kicked in. The bear warning. I'd completely forgotten. Other things started running through my head too, dark things and evil creatures, the kind of stuff from bad shows and horror movies I wasn't supposed to have watched at my age. It left me feeling weak and scared, and I stayed crouched where I was.

Isabelle crept forward, looking around.

"You stay here. I'm gonna go see what that is, okay?" she whispered.

I wanted to say something about how stupid it was to split up if something was coming after us, but couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I didn't want to make any noise in case it really was a bear, or something worse. She must have taken my silence as agreement though and she wandered off towards the noise.

I hung next to the tree, holding each breath in as long as I could manage before straining out air and trying to take a new breath as quietly as possible. I strained my ears, trying to hear anything, but all I could make out was the steady buzz of insects and the soft padding of Isabelle's shoes before even that disappeared.

I didn't know how long I hid next to that tree, crouched down in the dirt trying not to move. It felt like hours until my knees started wobbling and still I couldn't hear anything. "Isabelle… Isabelle, are you there?"

I didn't get a response. I was afraid to say more in case something had happened to her, but I would have heard if something had happened to her, wouldn't I? I took a few careful steps forward, still hugging the trunk of the tree as I peered around, searching for any signs of life.

"Isabelle, this isn't funny. Are you there?" I asked, a little louder this time.

Silence. I let go of the tree, though I was still trying to keep low to the ground. I couldn't see anything and I wasn't sure if that was worrying me more than if I could. Soon enough, I gave up. "Isabelle!"

My call echoed through the trees and died.

Either Isabelle had decided to ditch me or something really bad had happened. Without the ability to know which, I floundered. At summer camp, we'd been told if we ever did get lost in the forest to stay in one spot so it would be easier to find you, but I wasn't sure if that would just lead some wild animal or monster on an easy trail back to me.

So instead of sticking around, I ran. I hurried down the path I sort of remembered us coming here on. Trying to move as quickly as I could while also making as little noise as possible. I started my way back, but it was difficult. All the scenery blended together, it was a forest after all, and I found myself second-guessing my own sense of direction. The turn we'd made there, was it left or right? It wasn't that long ago, but I couldn't remember and had to hurry. I guessed, turning down one way, twisting along another, until I came to the horrible realization.

I was lost.

"Hello!" I called, any fear of being found forgotten as I felt more and more like I'd been abandoned. "Can anybody hear me?"

I felt like such an idiot. Of course it hadn't been a bear. Of course Emma was going to try something. Why did I think she wouldn't try to get back at me after I set a teacher on her? I was so stupid. I couldn't hold back the tears running down my face. I was furious at Emma, at Isabelle, but mostly I was furious at myself. I trusted everybody, tried to please everyone, and ended up getting nothing but hurt in return.

I tried to work my way back, hoping my steps would make sense as I retread them, but all the paths looked the same and it wasn't like we'd kicked up enough dirt to make the way we had walked stand out. I still called out every minute, hoping to hear something back, but all that greeted me was the sound of insects.

And then I stepped into a clearing soaked in blood.

I didn't even notice it at first. I'd been too focused on myself, on feeling miserable. One foot fell in front of the other mechanically until my shoes squished into something wet. I pulled my sneaker out of a pile of intestines.

A deer, I realized belatedly. Its head had been ripped off the rest of its body, the face opened mid-scream towards the sky.

I went still. Blood and guts glistened everywhere I looked, on every patch of ground. Little black flies buzzed around whatever flesh remained.

It all looked fresh, incredibly so—the guts I'd shoved one foot into still warm, the stench not quite noticeable until you were right on it, and then it was overpowering. Like iron and shit and rot. It was overwhelming. Something had torn this deer apart, shredded it into pieces, and the scream twisted on its face made it seem like it had been done while still alive. The chest yawning open, the limbs mangled. It had been forced to bleed out.

I took a step back and screamed. I couldn't hear anything, couldn't move. The buzzing of insects intensified until it was a roar in my ears. The mutilated corpse of the deer stood massive in my eyes. I shook my foot, trying to get everything off, but the blood had soaked into my sole and when I set it back down I felt it squelch. Flies crawled along my foot up my pant leg and I started shivering. My eyes never left the bloody mess littering the field in front of me. My breaths came shallow and quick. I could imagine Isabelle being similarly ravaged, her legs and arms strewn on the forest floor, her face frozen in a permanent wail.

I collided with something and screamed again.

"Jesus! What are you doing! What's wrong with you!"

Two hands grabbed my shoulders and I couldn't hold back the instinct to fight him off. I twisted and turned in his grasp, tried to drive my elbows into his stomach, but he held strong and I stopped before I even landed a hit. I was turned around.

I stared up at two angry eyes. The ranger who had been leading us glared at me until he saw the clearing behind me, the sight of the animal left to rot.

"Oh my god," he said.

I mumbled a response, but he wasn't even listening. He let go of me and took a step forward, taking in everything.

"I'd hoped they hadn't moved this close to the camp," he muttered to himself. "We have to get moving now. You didn't touch this, did you?"

My shoe felt hot and heavy, but I was too afraid of the trouble I'd be in just for getting lost and shook my head no. My sneakers were black and the blood was hardly visible on them.

He nodded to himself. "Good. If you'd done something like that, your scent might lead a bear back to camp. They get territorial about food."

My toes squirmed in the blood. I kept my mouth shut. A bear had done this? I couldn't believe it. It was the start of September and hints of fall were making their way into the trees. The weather was pleasant. Bears would have plenty to eat.

This corpse had been mauled. Like a starving beast had ripped it apart with no thought put towards anything beyond killing. Parts of the deer lay scattered around the area, enough for me to step in. Most of its flesh hadn't even been eaten. Why would a bear do this?

I didn't say anything. My head fell low as I followed the ranger back to the group. His final words before we headed off felt like a curse more than condemnation.

"You're in a hell of a lot of trouble."