Chapter 3-
"good morning sunshine we have a case" house said limping his way into the diagnostics department.
"fever, confusion, seizures, clotting problems and for the pudge tachycardia" house said while writing the symptoms on the board.
"it could be a tumor in his brain stem" foreman suggested.
"a tumor in his brain stem won't cause a fever" chase replied.
"it could be hypoglycemia that causes his other symptoms, in his chart it says his a diabetic" Camron said.
"they checked his blood sugars and it's within range, next" house said.
"could be brain stem encephalitis" Camron suggested.
"good, go run an MRI and EEG for abnormal signals" house dismissed them.
As they were on their way-out house noticed a slight movement in Camron's nose and mouth with a flinch.
"what's up with the flinch?" he interrogated.
"what flinch?" she asked.
"the one that you're doing, what is it?" he squinted his eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about but for your information I went to the gym and pulled a muscle so maybe it's that simple" she replied annoyed at his interrogations.
"okay then" he was sure something was off.
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"differential diagnosis people" house said slamming the door open.
"The MRI confirmed encephalitis, but it doesn't cover all of the symptoms" foreman said.
"could be that the encephalitis is caused by paraneoplastic syndrome and the rest of the symptoms may be caused by the cancer" chase said.
"if it is the case, leukemia will be the best guess" Camron said.
"it fits. Go biopsy his bone marrow to confirm." House sent them.
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They confirmed brain stem encephalitis that was caused by paraneoplastic syndrome and leukemia.
Camron came home after a long day of work feeling completely filthy after many clinic patients coughing and sneezing on her. as she came through the door, she went to take a shower. She felt tingling of the warm water running through her fresh cuts and felt relief. She washed her body and hair and stopped the running water. She stepped outside the shower and stared at the mirror, she looked so much thinner and noticed her hipbone sticking out, her cheeks sucked like a vacuum is sucking them, her collarbone poking like a tip of a square table and her ribs, she could not really say how her ribs looked. She stood there for quite some time body checking, but she wanted to take a photo of herself in that fragile looking body. She posed and sucked in as much as she could and after a few photos taken she stopped and headed to her bedroom to finally sleep.
The next morning came and she felt light. She went to her kitchen and prepared her breakfast. She was quite hungry and her inside doctor knew she was stupid for not eating so she tried challenging one of her fear foods, bagels. There was something about them that made them terrifying. The weight of them, the calories, the 'unnaturally' of them, the fact that they were not whole grain just made them look not pure. She cut the bagel in half and spreaded cream cheese on top. She ate them with a side of cucumber to make it 'healthier' because in her mind a vegetable was the safest way to go. She managed ¾ of her meal but the guilt and shame she felt, she just hated herself for it. She prepared her bag and putted a teeny tiny box that kept in there her blade because she noticed herself wanting to cut at work so badly that she could not concentrate, and her being a doctor, that can be a life and death situation. She took her bag headed out.
As she walked into the office, she did what she always does, go through house's mail. After finishing a pile, she headed to make coffee as she bumped into the desk and noticed she had reopened her cuts. As soon as she noticed she headed toward the bathroom to stop the bleeding and making sure her pants aren't stained. As she walked to the bathroom she ran into Wilson. And oh boy was that stressful.
"what happened? Why are you in such a rush?" Wilson asked.
"it's a hospital, everyone is in a rush" she replied.
"your leg... you're bleeding" he said it in a half scream.
"Some patient vomited blood on me I need to get changed." She replied confident with the way she covered this up.
"oh, I'm sorry" he apologized.
"don't worry" she said smiling at him, letting a big breath out.
Phew that was the last thing she wanted to happen, but she had years of experience to cover those things. She entered the locker's room and took a pair of pants that she kept for a time like this, bandaged the wound and continued with her day.
She was sitting at the doctor's lounge, looking at the photos that were taken last night as a funny cough was made behind her, she immediately turned off her phone and turned around.
"since when are you into gay porn?" house asked sarcastically.
She hesitated to answer.
"so...?" he asked again.
"did you even see boobs? They are spectacular!" she said sarcastically.
"who is the twig in that photo?" he asked.
"I don't know, that's the lovely thing about porn, you don't need to get to know them." She continued knowing that this was her best escape.
"ok then. Sent me the link" he said cynically.
"you'll have to find it yourself" she said and walked away from the lounge stressed from how close she was to get caught. With her heart racing, she headed to the diagnostics department for her purse that contained her blade. As she took her purse, and went straight into a bathroom stall, locked the door, lifted her shirt, and traced her blade on her hip and pressed pressure to make a cut. and with her thoughts going repeatedly like a broken disc and her cutting releasing endorphins which made time pass by, she did not realize she was in there for over 40 minutes. Once she had looked at her watch, she cleaned herself up and realized she had somehow forgot the bandages. Ok. Ok, I am in a hospital so I can find some bandages around here I just need to make sure no one sees anything that can reveal my wound or get suspicious, she thought. She walked from the bathroom while having a paper absorb her open cut's blood. She entered the ICU and saw a big plaster and quickly stood behind a desk and before anyone saw she placed it on her open wounds and was relieved.
She quickly ran into the diagnostics department with her hip feeling like its burning from the stretching that the running did to her fresh cuts but even though she was sore she had to get there as fast as possible. As she entered the diagnostics department house started.
"we have been worried sick about you" house said in an elderly woman voice.
"don't eat the cafeteria sushi" she said.
"your stomach is so sensitive you know, it's weird" foreman said.
"since I was a child I hade stomach problems. Now can we stop talking about that?" she asked but almost said it like she demanded.
As she approached to take a sit, she bumped again into the table for the second time but now it was on her fresh new cuts. she was in agony trying to withhold the pain as much as she could.
"ouch" house said when she bumped into the table.
"you think?" she said while trying to withhold pain.
After ten minutes the pain still has not pass and Camron had a particular face that she did while she was in pain and house noticed.
"does it still hurt?" he asked.
"just a bit but I can handle that" she said.
"let me take a look" he replied.
"I bumped my hip it's diagnostically boring" she said.
"the fact that you're still in pain is not" he went toward her.
"I guess I'm a grandma. Now will you let me do my job?" she insisted.
"no, you had been sick a lot I want you to get tested." He looked... worried?
"like what, cancer?" she asked sarcastically.
"sure, why not" he said but he was serious.
"house, I don't have cancer, nor do I have any other underlying conditions. All I have is a paranoid boss." She couldn't bare the unwanted attention he gave her even though she loved seeing him talk.
"why are you being so startled about this? Its either you're not telling us something or you're to scared to know, and I'm guessing on the first option" he said.
"come on Camron what is it?" foreman asked.
"first, I'm not hiding anything. Second, I am a doctor and if I would suspect something I would get tested. Now will you please just leave me alone" she said but then noticing that her shirt is starting to have drops of blood on them 'shit I must have reopened my cuts' she had to get away from them now. She could not risk get caught.
"I need to go now" she said while getting up from her sit.
"where" house looked at her up and down trying to read her body language.
"I need to run some errands" she said quickly.
As she was already near the door foreman noticed blood on her hip
"is that blood?" foreman looked confused.
"a little girl bumped me in the clinic with a nosebleed." She said thinking about how brilliant she was for that save.
"I don't believe you" house confronted her.
"house just leave her alone" chase tried to keep things calm.
"foreman and chase go to the clinic and foreman do my clinic hours" house commanded.
"but..." chase tried to speak.
"no buts, go now" house ordered.
"you" he looked at Camron "here now."
"I need to go" she insisted.
"you are not going anywhere, at least if you don't want to get fired" he was not playing games.
"fine, what do you want" she looked him dead in the eyes.
"well, I want to figure out what the hell is wrong with you" he said.
"there is nothing wrong with me." She replied.
"you know, it'll be better for the both of us if you drop the act and start talking." House stated.
"you're wasting both of our time now" Camron said.
"well then let's get to the chase, show me your hip" house commanded.
At that moment she did not know what to do, how could he understand? He always tries to escape pain and I'm looking for one? How can I get myself out of this? How can I explain? Ok, I think I have an idea she thought.
She lifted her shirt and he saw her bandage covered with blood.
"what the hell Camron" he said with his mouth wide open.
"how did this happen? Did you, do it?" he questioned her.
"no, of course not. A plate broke in by apartment and I slipped on the food and a piece of glass cut me a little to deep" she was relieved from how good her cover was.
"can I see?" he asked.
"I rather not, it reopened." She said.
"why did you make such a big deal out of it?"
"I felt pressured" she said.
"ok. You can go now" he released her.
She walked away relieved. She could finally control the thing that has been controlling her. House. She felt superior to him. she could manipulate him like had been doing for every human being. It felt good. She could hide something this big from him without him noticing? It is almost impossible.
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"Wilson" house stepped into Wilson's office.
"yeah" he replied.
"differential diagnosis" he started.
"you have your own team, don't waste my time" Wilson said.
"yeah yeah yeah, I'll do it quick and then you can go to your full of chemicals patients. Dizziness, fainting spells, clotting disorder, nausea, low bp, low hr and sudden personality change." He listed.
"is the patient an adult?" Wilson asked.
"yes" he answered.
"with those symptoms I will say a brain tumor or leukemia but there is no other condition that will account to all of those symptoms." He replied.
House was not happy about what he heard. Could his little lab rat have cancer? He didn't know the real cause at that moment for everything that had happened, and he was so confused about everything. A brain tumor could explain it and if it's malignant, the clotting disorder can be caused by metastasis to her blood, he thought. It was surprising that even house himself couldn't figure out what was wrong. But after all Camron had years of practice in hiding everything from everyone, even her diseased husband didn't know about herself self-harm habit. She managed to hide it for years, no wonder he couldn't find out about her ed and sh.
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She came home after an exhausting day. She felt the filth embracing her entire body and she went for a shower. The moment she was alone she couldn't tackle her overthinking and intrusive thoughts.
Flash back
"how can you be so fucking stupid? You piece of shit! You were such a mistake! You fat whore! You should burn in hell!" her mother said.
"I... I didn't do anything" Alison said while crying.
"you little bag of crap! You don't even know what you did."
End of flash back.
It was her mother's words. She was a substance abuser and a schizophrenic. She never knew why her mom were screaming at her. She never knew what was the thing that she saw in her hallucination or if was the voices convincing her mother she was a mistake and a horrible person. She never understood why she was so hated by her mother, and it wasn't just hate. It was rage, grudge, loathing, envy. She had pure abhor for Alison. She wished she knew why but as well didn't want to know. It was the thing that made her own mother loathe her. Deep down she knew it wasn't real and it was her illness, but she wanted to feel loved. She couldn't believe that she could get love. After all those years of her mother abusing her, she couldn't love herself ever again. If the person who brought you into this world had grudge for you, how could you even look in the mirror without feeling sick and having to swallow your vomit from such disgust. The damage had been done. She was unfixable.
Let me know if you liked this chapter and hopefully you enjoyed it :D
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