chapter 2 - my safety feels very compromised
''Are you okay, sweetie?" I heard someone ask me as I woke up. My eyes were still adjusting to the light and I rubbed at them, only further irritating them. The bed that I was laying in felt very different from the one I shared with my aunt and I noticed this almost immediately. Not only was it smaller but the blankets were a bit scratchy and a lot thicker. As I sat up and tried to begin gathering my wits, the events from before rushed through my memory and my heart stopped for a moment because to my dismay I couldn't remember what happened. Something incredibly rare. My heart flopped and panic filled me. On my wrists were bandages that covered the marks the ninja from before left behind. They didn't hurt too much anymore which had I not been preoccupied over worrying, I'd have taken the moment to feel grateful for.
"Where's Aina-obasan," I questioned the blonde woman in front of me loudly, frantically turning my gaze this way and that. There were colors shifting all around outside the doorway and just the feel of it had me queasy. I ignored my feelings of sickness in favor of stress over my oba-sans whereabouts. Her gaze on me never wavered but I saw her mouth turn a bit grim. The guilty expression only furthered my worry and I tried to breathe. A grimace meant nothing.
"Your oba-san did something bad and stole something very precious from one of our elite members of Konoha," She explained gently. Her eyes looked into mine. "She will be gone until she gives it back."
I stared at the nurse, slightly stressed. "Obasan wouldn't do that," I insisted to the nurse. "We only steal food and thats if we're despet. I want my obasan!" My voice was getting shriller by the second and I almost started bawling right there. Aina-obasan was all I had. The nurse stared at me with a pitiful look before shaking her head.
"If she did nothing wrong, Youta-kun," The woman tried to placate me as she slowly pushed me back to laying down. "This won't take very long at all. For now, we'll take care of you so don't worry. Everything will be alright," The nurse smoothed down my hair and I peeked up at her from between tufts of my bangs with an unconvinced look but before I opened my mouth she was already swooping out of the room and mentioning food. My stomach flipped and I slowly started to curl up into my bed and cry. Whether or not that was my position for the next 2 hours was none of any one's business. By 2 pm, my tears had slowly been emptied to the fullest capacity i could and the nurse had come back.
"It's okay, Youta-kun," the nurse told me. She smiled and offered me a glass of water which I greedily took. Crying was hard work, after all. "Oh! I guess I never introduced myself. My name is Haruka and I'm going to need your help today. First, we're going to go get you clean and then you'll be weighed and checked up by our doctor, Okay?" She gave me an earnest smile. I glanced up, my tear stained face reddened and blotchy from all the heavy crying I had done. The food from earlier that she had brought during my crying fest remained untouched on the table beside the bed and I made a note to eat it when the pang of my stomach reminded me just how important it was. She helped me out of bed and we made our way into the bathroom. The bathroom wasn't too big but it was big enough that the two of us fit in their with a good amount of space left. There was an ugly white dress sitting on a stand next to the towels and I eyed it distastefully. I had only been to a hospital once and I knew that that's what they'd try to stick me in. Everything felt immensely clean and I almost felt like I was staying at a hotel. I let go of Haruka's hand in favor of going to look over at the mirror. Even that was clean too. My eyes were captivated at the sight of such a clear view and I blinked, staring at the top of my head.
"Who's suppos to dye my hair?" I asked her aloud.
"I suppose you'll have to wait for your Obasan to come back but you're a little too young to dye your hair, aren't you?" She tried to placate me before turning away to fiddle with the knobs on the bathtub. It was big, a bit too big for my liking, I noted, as Haruka ran the water, running her hand through it. She turned around to look at me expectantly and I hesitated. Aina-Obsan had made it clear I should never take my clothes off in front of other people unless she had given the okay but she wasn't here and I didn't feel scared or that Haruka had any bad intentions. Everything about her was pastels. Discarding my dirty pants and top, I climbed in and watched as the bubbles pooled at my feet. It felt so big that I thought maybe I could swim inside of this thing.
A wooden brush clanged, hitting the tile floor and I flinched slightly before turning to give Haruka a stare. Her pink was going wavy and I wondered if I had done something wrong. Her face was full of complete and utter shock.
"Youta-kun... you're a girl?"
I stared confusedly before shrugging. "Uh, I dunno?"
…
A couple hours later and a short escort by some big boss ninja later, I found myself being escorted to a big building. The man that had dangled me from my ankle stood at the entrance and I flinched as we met eyes, slightly moving to hide myself behind the women ninja's legs. He stared hard at me and I couldn't understand why. I was wearing a yellow sundress the hospital had provided that was slightly too big and some slightly beat up open toed sandals.
"Taichou," The woman nodded, bowing slightly and I looked at her before shifting my gaze back at him. He gave her a nod in acknowledgment.
"You're dismissed." His gaze remained on me and I tried to stop myself from panicking. "You will follow me," He told me and I kept quiet, only stepping forward slightly. Taichous turned, beginning to lead and I stumbled after him through the long grey halls until we stopped in front of a door. I tried to ignore any thought of being tortured that came to mind, watching as a blonde man popped his head out only to allow us in.
The room was completely full of bright colors with colorful block carpets and toys scattered all around. It sort of felt like being out in the middle of the square in town but nobody was moving. I had quickly found a source of interest in a tower made completely of foam blocks, moving to grab one from the top so as not to completely ruin it. I squished the block in my hand happily, finding entertainment in the non conforming shape whilst managing to keep my eyes on the two men in front of me as they conversed. Oba-san always told me to establish that was no threat before letting my guard down.
"I just dont understand why you brought her here, Morino-san," the blonde man said softly, glancing at me before back at Taichou.
"Jun-san is out of town."
"I realize this but is she clear to be evaluated? I need paperwork, Morino-san." He looked slightly frustrated but more so tired and I couldn't help but feel bad for him for some reason. Adults seemed to live a sad life. They couldn't take a nap whenever they wanted to and always looked unhappy or just tired.
"I'm prepared. Here. Everything is there." Taichou offered him an envelope that he pulled from inside his long jacket and I found myself slowly growing bored with their conversation. It felt like there was definitely no threat but rather just old men talking to each other. My attention span was slowly slipping.
I heard the rustling of papers being sifted through as I turned away and began to pile the squishy shapes on top of one another, not bothering to listen anymore. The blonde man seemed nice. I liked the blonde man. Mostly for his room of toys but also the colors around him. He was a streaky blue pastel - a good thing.
"Okay Youta-chan," the blonde man kneeled in front of me. "Let's go sit at this table here and you can color while we ask you some questions. Does this sound okay?" I nodded in response and took a seat at the table he had pointed to towards the corner of the room. Taichou had already taken a seat at it in one of the big people chairs but still managed to look very cramped and for a moment I felt bad for him. What a terrible life being so big. I chose to sit in the small pink chair closest to the blonde man, taking note of the coloring book with markers all around the table. Seeing no harm, I took hold of it and began to get to work. If this is where they decided to keep me until Aina-obasan was found innocent, that was swell with me. I ignored the shifting papers and coughing until it had become clear that my attention was wanted. The blonde man smiled a friendly smile.
"Well, Youta-chan, my name is Yamanaka, Inoichi. I'm part of Konoha's intelligence team. That means I use my head to help think of ways to help Konoha. Sometimes that just means boring planning but sometimes it means I can play games. We're going to play a game, does that sound OK?"
I hummed and nodded in response, glancing up to show I was listening before reverting my eyes back down to the table. There were crayons spread all around my arms and I began to line them up neatly.
"For every question you answer, you'll get a fruit snack. If you answer all of them, I'll give you something from this," He held out a colorful little treasure chest with stickers and candy and more inside. I found my eyes stuck on the little cube with different colors and nodded.
"Okay."
"Before we start, Youta-chan, do you know the difference between a truth and a lie?" Inoichi looked me straight in the eye and I nodded. "What is the difference?"
"Truth is something real and a lie is fake," I replied and Inoichi hummed.
"Yes, that's correct. If I said my hair was pink, would that be the truth or a lie?" I felt my lips turn downwards at the blatant lie. His hair was nowhere even near pink.
"A lie."
"and if I said this table was yellow? Would that be a that or a lie, Youta-chan?" Inoichi's finger tapped on the yellow surfaced table and I glanced up at him before back into the box, finding myself captivated on that cube once more.
"Truth."
"Good! Let's start. What's your full name?"
"Youta," I answered confidently.
"...just Youta?" He stared at me, tilting his head. "No surname?"
"um...Youta, Youta?" I replied questioningly glancing back at that cube of colors.
"That's okay," Inoichi said. He placed a fruit snack on a napkin in front of me. "Next question, Youta-chan! How old are you?" A grin slipped on my face. Were they going easy on purpose?
"4!" I showed him on my fingers before pausing. "While, I am alsmost 4." and he nodded, giving me a thumbs up and another fruit snack in reply.
"Almost," Taichou said, staring at my fingers with a raised brow and I gave him a stare before the blonde man recalled my attention.
"Perfect! When's your birthday, Youta-chan?"
"February 14th."
There was a momentary silence and I stared at Inoichi and he stared back at me. I shifted in my seat.
"Are you sure February 14th is your birthday, Youta-chan?" I felt my brows furrow, turning to look at them in frustration.
"It is my birthday," I insisted. "Me and Aina Obaa-san had it with the other girls and this year I got a cupcake with lots of icing." I heard something crunch and looked at Taichou. In his hands was part of the table he had been holding.
"Morino-san!" Inoichi exclaimed, glancing at me.
"Did I make him mad?" I ringed my hands together. "Aina-obaasan says I got a tedonceen to do that."
"'Tendency'." Taichou said quietly.
"No, no, Youta! You didn't make him mad! Morino-san is just very strong, that's all," Inoichi told me and I furrowed my brows before nodding. Shouldn't Taichou already understand what he can and can't do? I wanted to voice my concerns aloud but thought better not to. Who's to know what he'd do to me? Just one step of Taichou's shoe could take me out or he could hang me upside down again. It was better to leave it alone.
"Oh." A silence ensued again, this time a bit longer. There was a soft shuffling of papers from the blonde man next to me but nothing was said. I glanced at Inoichi again. "Did I win the game?"
"Not yet! Just a few more questions." Inoichi put his chin on his hand and smiled warmly. He slid a piece of paper towards me.
"Can you draw your family for me Youta-chan?" Inoichi handed me a pen. "How many family members do you have and what are their names?"
"Ok." I began scribbling away, utilizing the crayons and markers. I began to draw the forms of me and my oba-san as best as I could standing in front of our home before sliding the paper over to him, finished. It didn't take too long. I began pointing out who was who. "This is me, This is my oba-san, and this is my pet rock." The only pet that my aunt allowed me was the gray boulder that sat next to the doorway that led into the opening of our hotel. I had drawn a smiley face on it even though I wasn't allowed to do so in real life.
"..."
"..."
"Can you..explain your drawing Youta-chan? I like these colors, but what do they mean?" He pointed to the drawing Aina-obasan and the forest green waves that came from her. I bit the inside of my cheek, annoyed. I hated explaining to people this type of stuff.
"That's what oba-san feels like," I told him, slightly exasperated. I pointed to the two of us, her being colored in with green waves and me being blank. "It's just me and obasan," I told them.
"Can you draw me?" Inoichi asked and I squinted at him.
"Do I gets two toys out of this or 1," I asked aloud. "Oba-san says I can't be workins for free." Taichou coughed but I ignored him, still keeping my eyes steady on Inoichi. The toy chest next to him stared at me fueled my confidence. My soon to be cube needed a friend and the sticker sheet that sat buried underneath a pack of crayons looked very fine and dandy. I could almost hear it calling out my name.
"Yes, you'll get two," He chuckled and I gladly took the slip of paper from him, making it as nice as possible since I was being paid. That sticker sheet would be within my grasp in no time. The blues that the crayons had didn't have the exact color I needed to replicate the plethora of colors that Inoichi emitted so i just mixed to the best of my abilities before handing him the sheet. I had even bothered to color in his clothes and bright blonde hair.
"This is you," I told him, patting the drawing as I slid it back over the table to where he sat. He stared at it and I wondered whether he was offended or not by the fact that I hadn't given him a nose before his voice broke the silence.
"Is this what I feel like?" He pointed to the blue that encircled him on the page and I nodded, completely uninterested, before glancing at the chest of prizes again. What was that shiny thing underneath the mini coloring books? I squinted.
"Yeah." I tried to make out it's shape. It looks like a whole vial of sparkles. I imagined being able to pocket it all before turning to look at the blonde man in front of me. He was still studying the picture I gave him of himself with furrowed brows. "If I draw Taichou, do I get another toy," I wondered to him and they both looked at me slightly confused.
"Youta-chan, who's Taichou?" Inoichi asked. I pointed at Taichou.
"The girl who picked me up from the hopsital called him that." I tried to figure out where the confusion was. "And the man who did this called him Taichou too. Wrong name?" I waved my wrists when referring to the ninja from before.
"Hospital. And No, no it's fine," Taichou shook his head as Inoichi opened his mouth. "Draw me." I stared behind him, trying to understand the silver that kept reflecting hints of green and blue that I had ignored before. Possibly red. I tried to put what I saw on paper and slid it back over between the two.
"...There's lots," I said, uncomfortably. "But silver is promement."
"Prominent." Taichou didn't even bother to look up from the sheet of paper as he corrected me. They shared a look that I couldn't decipher.
"Let's finish up these questions than, Youta-chan," Inoichi said brightly but the blue behind was stringy and stretching. I was stressing him out.
"Are you a boy or a girl?"
"...A boy?" I answered a bit unsure. Inoichi watched me closely but I couldn't tell whether that was the right answer or not. Aina-obasan always used 'he' and 'him' but Haruka and the nice doctor kept using 'she' ever since I had been given a bath. There was a silence before Taichou broke it.
"How do you not know if you're a girl," Taichou across from me asked frustratedly and I looked up, shifted in my seat uncomfortably and then shrugged.
"Oba-san uses he, and I don't wear dresses." I glanced down at the one I was wearing right now. "Well, today I am... I dunno. What's the difference between a girl and a boy anyway," I looked up curiously, watching as the blonde man impassively stared down at me with a weird look in his eye. He looked around uncomfortably before clearing his throat.
"A-ah, well," Morino-Taichou began as he placed his hands upon the table. "Girl's are of a smaller physique and uh- have a secondary sex characteristic up here" he motioned towards his chest "whilst boys don't."
I looked down at my chest before glancing back up at him confusedly.
"I dont have the seconhary sex chacter," I told him, smacking my chest in exasperation for emphasis. The loud noise filled the room and there was a silence that carried on for the next minute as the scarred man stared at me in disbelief. Inoichi, who was still sat at the same table next to him looked absolutely mortified.
"For christ's sake, Morino-san," I heard him mutter, placing his head in his hands. The blonde ponytail he had swished back and forth as he ducked his head and he stayed like that for a moment before lifting his head back up.
"Youta-chan," Inoichi had put his hands together and leaned forward, looking to find a way to explain whatever the difference was to me. "In short terms, boys can stand up and go to the bathroom and girls sit. What do you do?"
"Oh!" It all clicked into place as everything made a bit more sense. I nodded in understanding. "I'm a girl, then."
"That's great, Youta-chan. Why don't you continue coloring while Morino-san and I talk outside for a bit? We've just got some grown up things to discuss."
They stood up and I watched them go, waiting till they closed the door before I went to rifle through the chest of treasures. All sorts of toys floated around in there and I glanced distastefully at the rubber kunai and plastic fish before pulling out my sticker book, cube of colors, and the vial of sparkles. I almost wish I had pushed for more but knew that my luck wasn't that great. The situation I was in proved it. A few minutes passed by and my stomach grumbled from lack of food. The fruit snacks did nothing to hold me over. I glanced outside to where Inoichi and Taichou were supposed to be. I was incredibly hungry but I didn't want to bother them. I didn't know these men or what they wanted with me but I was smart enough to know to stay on their good side. A yawn escaped my lips and I rest my head on my arms, closing my eyes, and waited only to fall asleep.
--
"-for sure," I heard Taichou's voice faintly from where I was as I regained consciousness. The recognizable ceiling from the room I had woken up in clued me in immediately. I was laying in the hospital bed again, covered in a blanket with the curtains pilled slightly closed. The sun was still peaking in through the curtains but it was a bit darker now. I rubbed my eyes, wondering how long I'd been out for. Outside the hospital door I could still hear Taichou and someone speaking, their voices carrying through the space they left open. I could see their two forms conversing with one another.
"I understand, but this child has no active guardian at the moment and the only one that is available is invalid until she's dismissed from all charges. What you're asking of me threatens to violate the very privacy laws I swore upon when becoming a Iryo-nin; Something that I can't possibly even fathom breaking. The Hokage needs to sign off on something like this and we still need to be very careful around her. This is the worst case of chakra sensitivity that has been seen yet." My doctor told him softly and I strained to hear what they were saying. There was a silence and Dr. Haruma looked a bit tense. Taichou seemed the same.
"I understand. I'll be back with the proper forms. Thank you for your time." Taichou said, glancing at me before walking away. I stared in confusion. The curiosity that flowed through me was almost painful. What did all the stuff they were talking about mean? Before I could try to think of any conclusions, my doctor walked through the threshold of my door and smiled at me. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and knelt down, clipboard sitting on top of her knees. Her yellow and pink was soft and it looked like running water.
"Well good evening, Youta-chan! Remember me?" She questioned softly and I blinked before nodding.
"Yeah," I nodded. "You weighed me and gave me this dress." I lifted my arms to show her. Her smile grew.
"That I did! You've had a pretty busy day so we're gonna have a bit quieter of an evening than normal. Did you want me to grab you anything in specific or is watching cartoons okay?" She asked me softly and I blinked before shrugging.
"Cartoons are okay," I answered, still a bit tired. She hummed, turning something on for me before leaving. I watched it slightly, feeling slightly hungry but more so tired. It didnt take long before I entered a deep sleep once more. My days went on like this; Consistent visits from Dr. Haruma, watching TV, being given a bath, and going back to sleep. It was on the fourth that I was first introduced to the hospital play room. There wasn't a lot of toys and there weren't any kids in there either. The only thing that was of real interest was the shelf full of books but all I could really do with those by myself were look at the pictures. Aina-obasan had never focused too much on teaching me how to read as she was usually with her customers so I only knew a certain couple of words. Another two days passed just like the others, the only slight change was more doctors coming in and asking me questions. At one point, Dr. Haruma had put a needle in my arm before giving me a cookie and juice afterwards but that was the most interesting it had got besides them giving me a pudding cup instead of jello.
On my 1 week anniversary of being there was when everything got a bit hectic. Taichou, who had been slinking around once every so often, had come in and stared at me with Dr. Haruma in tow. Their arguing had been hushed, only rising a level by the time they had arrived by my door. Seeing me awake, Dr. Haruma slipped past Taichou.
"Youta-chan," Dr. Haruma greeted and I smiled at her, happy for any interaction at all. "How are we feeling today?" She asked, gently putting her hand next to my leg that was covered by the blanket. I shrugged.
"I'm feeling very ademquat," I told her and the slightly worried expression she had carried in on her face loosened slightly only to tightenup once more when Taichou corrected me.
"Adequate."
"Yes, well," Dr. Haruma began tightly. Her hand had fisted slightly and she breathed in before looking straight at me. "Youta-chan, what exactly did your Oba-san tell you about your Oka-san and Otou-san?" I shifted on the bed slightly, uncomfortable about the topic.
"Oka-san was sick after she had me and she died and Oba-san says my Otou-san is very bad. He didn't protect Oka-san," I began softly before looking up at her. "But how do you protect someone from being sick?" Dr. Haruma's face was nothing but smiles, but her colors were going wonky and I wanted to apologize because I knew it was my fault.
"Youta-chan," Dr. Haruma placed her hand over my should but not on it, "Your Oba-san is very sad that your Oka-san died and sometimes when people are sad, they get very angry and blame others. Do you think your Otou-san is at fault?" She asked and I stayed quiet for a moment before shrugging.
"I don't know. I don't know who he is or why he never wanted me," I shrugged. Taichou stood very still and I tried to understand why he was here.
"Youta-chan, you're Otou-san didn't abandon you. He was at work and when your Oka-san died, your Oba-san took you and didn't tell him." Dr. Haruma watched as my eyes widened in confusion. Aina-obasan stole me?
"Just like Koroko?" I gazed up at her and she smiled slightly.
"Kokoro," Taichou said, staring straight at me. "You are Kokoro."
"Morino-san!" Dr. Haruma gave him a slighted look before turning and trying to gage a reaction.
"I'm Youta." I corrected him. He shook his head.
"No, you're Kokoro," Taichou insisted, crossing his arms. I opened my mouth to argue before pausing as Ithought over Dr. Haruma's words.
"I'm confusion," I announced. I turned to my Doctor who looked 1 minute away from kicking Taichou out of the room. "Am I Kokoro or am I Youta?" She gave me a soft look, something I didn't know the exact name for.
"You're both, honey," She told me. "Your full name is Morino, Kokoro but you're still Youta. You just get another name."
"Oh." I nodded, slightly still not understanding. "My name is Koroko? And my Otou-san still exists?" I looked for confirmation from her and she nodded. "How come he hasn't come see me?" She had a tight expression on her face.
"I've been a bit busy," Taichou said and we looked at each other. There was a brief silence, me looking at Dr. Haruma for confirmation once more.
"Oh." I stared at my hands in thought. It's not like Taichou felt like a bad man. He just was very big and very scary. Every time I had seen him in passing, he always had an intense and angry look on his face. "You're my otou-san..."
"Yes."
"You shouldn't hang kids upside down," I told him honestly, not knowing what else to say. "It can hurt their denvoment as they grow big."
Taichou didn't even miss a beat. "Development, and that's only if it was for a long time. You were upside down for a minute at most."
"i think... this is what they call...abuse?" I looked at Dr. Haruma. She still had that pained look on her face, as if every second of watching our interaction only ever hurt her more.
"It's- Not really, Youta-chan," Dr. Haruma said. "Your Oba-san is gonna be a bit preoccupied with the law for right now so you'll be going with your Otou-san once you are discharged from the hospital, does that make sense?" She kooked for any hint of confusion on my face and I squinted my eyes, slightly uncomfortable at the thought of going home with a complete stranger (especially somebody who kidnapped?? or unkidnapped me without any explanation). Taichou didn't look like a bad man, just a grumpy one. I nodded slowly and Dr. Haruma focused on my face for a moment.
"Can you just reiterate what I told you, Youta-chan?" Dr. Haruma asked nicely and I felt a bit baffled at why she needed me to explain to her what she already knew but nodded anyway.
"Taichou is my Otou-san and alive, Oka-san is still gone, my Oba-san is in a bad place because she stole me, and I'm gonna be staying with Taichou who might accidentally abuse me because he hangs kids upside down." I looked up for confirmation from Dr. Haruma who was nodding, albeit slightly exasperated.
"I- uh,...yes," Dr. Haruma nodded in confirmation. Their was a silence that grew between us all and Dr. Haruma excused herself under the guise of going to get me lunch, leaving a tense silence between me and the Taichou. He stared at me and I stared at him, both slightly unsure of what to do.
I broke the silence.
"Do you know how to take care of a kid," I asked blatantly, staring up at him. Taichou looked taken back slightly.
"I'd hope so," He told me dryly and I squinted.
"Do you know how to make mac and cheese?" I asked him. He blinked.
"Is that a trick question? Yes. Do you?" Taichou shot back and I gave an indignant scoff.
"Yes!" I lied hastily, crossing my arms. The truth was that I had absolutely no idea and that Mac and Cheese was a rarity because we usually never had a stove. Taichou continued to stare at my but I kept my cross look on the bed, feeling slightly miffed. Why would I know how to make mac and cheese? I was 3! If he was really my otou-san, this living together thing was gonna be a mess!