The circus comes to town!
Konohamaru sat alone on one of the swings in the park.
The honorable grandson had never given it much thought until a couple days ago, but his boss had lived a rough life.
More than anything, he just wanted to make his boss happy and had been researching ways to do that.
A chance encounter with Anko Mitarashi led to him asking her advice on the matter, which led to him trying what he learned from her on Naruto, which led to possibly the most awkward moment in Konoha history.
I don't get it... what did I do wrong?
"Somethin' buggin' you, little man?" His advisor suddenly appeared in the swing next to him.
"Sis!" If anyone could help Konohamaru with his problem, it'd be Anko.
A couple of hours later...
Man, I love festivals! The sights, the sounds, the sweet deals... Kiba, accompanied by Hinata, made their way through the bustling streets. Shino had left the two to play some of the games.
They continued their walk when a nearby stall caught Kiba's eye.
A large, muscular man was sitting on an exotic-looking carpet, munching on rock candy. Before him lay various weapons, ninja tools and even jewelry. All of it looked high-grade.
"Hey, Hinata, that guy's stuff looks pretty good. Wanna check it out?"
"Um, sure! Okay."
"Welcome to my stall, young man." *krnch, krnch* "Might I interest in you some kunai? This fine ninjato? Or perhaps one of my jeweled bracelets for your charming girlfriend?"
"G-girlfriend!?" Hinata turned bright red.
"It's not like that." Kiba corrected him.
"Forgive me. Still, it'd be unwise to pass up my wares. Higher quality can't be found."
Kiba thought for a moment. It wouldn't hurt to get some new tools, but every merchant claimed to have the best products.
I'll see whether this guy's stuff is the real deal. The ability to detect quality items by scent had been passed down his clan for generations.
"Mind if I check that out?" Kiba pointed at a kunai.
"Not at all." The merchant handed the item to Kiba, who held it under his nose and breathed in it's scent.
Doesn't smell like ordinary steel... Wait a minute, what's goin' on over there? Kiba looked to the center of the area. It appeared as though the troupe, the reason for the festival, had set up an arena of sorts.
In front of the arena stood a blonde-haired man in red ninja gear with a kiseru pipe that had been converted into a microphone.
Next to him was a giant of a man in dark blue with African features and a massive sake gourd strapped to his back and a stunningly beautiful young woman in a revealing purple kimono with an umbrella, green hair, and breasts as big as her head.
Damn... Kiba was practically drooling as he eyed the older woman. The sight of a topless Anko had given the boy newfound appreciation for the female body. Not that he didn't appreciate it before, but now, the mere sight of curves brought out the beast in him.
"I'm gonna, uh... take a closer look at the... thing over there, 'kay, Hinata?" He absent-mindedly handed her the kunai and went to check out the main attraction.
In the arena itself stood the fourth and final member of the troupe, a man covered from head to toe in demonic, emerald-tinted armor.
The blonde-haired announcer's voice boomed throughout the area.
"Behold, the fiercest fighter of the Peach Mountain Piero-gun! With his strength, he can crush stone into sand! With his speed, he can deflect a hail of shuriken! With his skill, he can give the greatest of ninja a run for their money! Give it up for Hoshimitsu, the fighting MACHIIIIIIINE!"
The demon warrior proceeded to perform a series of quick and flashy combos, eliciting cheers from the audience.
"Survive four minutes in the ring with Hoshimitsu, and in addition to a forty-thousand ryo cash prize, you'll have your pick of four fabulous super prizes!"
The announcer gestured to a nearby table that had both the money and several expensive items.
"These prizes are:
"The Super Dreamstation XXL, complete with over sixty-four built-in games, including a VR combat simulation developed with the expert advice of Hoshimitsu himself!" Hoshimitsu bowed to the audience.
"A bottle of ten-year aged sake from Yopparai, the bruiser of brewing's private reserve!" Yopparai, the large man in blue, flexed his muscles.
"This lovely spa and beauty set designed by the lovely and beautiful Momoka!" Momoka, the woman in the kimono, winked flirtatiously.
"...and last, but certainly not least, this exquisite solid gold kunai necklace, specially forged and tempered by me, Gosuke! Don't let it's luxurious shine fool you, folks, this baby's both fashionable and functional. Now... who wants to step up and CLAAAAIIIM VICTORYYYY!?"
Naruto loved a good challenge, but for some reason, that Hoshimitsu guy made him feel uneasy.
"Hey, what's wrong? Why aren't you taking your shot, Naruto?"
"Iruka-sensei? What're you doin' here?" the genin asked in confusion.
"What, can't a teacher have a little fun once in a while?" Iruka shrugged.
"Yeah, but aren't you supposed to be, y'know, teaching?"
"Nope, I got the day off! Anyway, I think you should go for it! I mean, just think of all the ramen you could buy with that cash prize."
Iruka was interested in seeing how far his former student, his favorite student, had come.
Encouraged by his former sensei's words and tempted by the thought of forty grand's worth of ramen, Naruto jumped up to the ring, eager to show what he could do.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a CHALLENGER! What would your name be, young man?" Gosuke held his kiseru-mic up to Naruto.
"Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to win this challenge! Believe it!"
"I like your confidence, Naruto! Now, here's the scoop: you can use any jutsu or weapon you want. Hoshimitsu will use only Taijutsu, but beware! We don't call him 'fighting machine' for nothin'!"
"Got it."
"Good! Now, step into the shrine and let the sacred art of battle commence!"
The genin jumped over the ropes. It was time to show this town what he was made of.
Hm... This guy looks familiar... That's it! "Hey, you look kinda like Obelisk the Tormentor!" Naruto pointed at his foe.
The armored man tilted his head at him in response.
"What, never watched Yugi-oh before?"
"Life is precious. I'd rather not waste mine to crap." The tinny, static-y voice answered.
"BEGIN!" Cried the announcer.
With that armor, it's gonna hurt if I punch him... Naruto decided he'd best stick to kicks and kunai.
The genin threw a kunai at Hoshimitsu's face and charged. His foe deflected the kunai and Naruto took the brief opportunity to launch a jumping thrust kick right at his jaw.
The fighting machine parried the kick with his right arm, and countered with a judo throw, slamming Naruto to the arena floor.
"Your technique is powerful, but predictable." Hoshimitsu observed.
Ugh... damn, he's strong. Naruto coughed. Predictable, huh? Well, maybe that one was, but this one isn't!
The ninja in orange jumped back to his feet and prepared his signature move.
"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" One Naruto became four and surrounded the demon ninja.
"A jonin-level technique? Interesting..." Hoshimitsu mused.
The four Narutos charged again. One from the front, two on each side, while the real Naruto jumped into the air and prepared to stomp the fighting machine, Mario style.
Hoshimitsu did a backwards dodge as the clones from his sides attacked and slammed them into each other, headfirst, turning them into twin puffs of smoke. The clone in front of him he destroyed with a mighty straight-arm punch. As for Naruto himself...
*Thuk* The stomp connected, but barely fazed Naruto's opponent. Naruto bounced off him and landed on the ground.
"You can dish it out pretty well. Let's see you take it." Hoshimitsu went on the offensive, and fought like a raging demon.
Not much later...
"Damn it..." Naruto slumped against the ropes of the ring, completely exhausted. He'd given it his best shot, but he could give no more. Hoshimitsu seemed to never tire.
I'm glad Anko-sensei's not here to see this... The genin would've hated to look so uncool in front of the coolest person he knew.
"YOU WIN! CON-GRA-GU-LATIOOOONS!" Gosuke's booming voice shook the young boy from his despair.
"Huh? I... I won?" The genin looked up in surprise. The warrior in green walked over and offered him his hand.
"Time's up. You did well, boy. Claim your prize. You earned it."
Naruto smiled at the older man and let him help him up. Exiting the ring, he pondered his options at the table. The game system looked pretty sweet, but he could always use some of his winnings to buy one, and he preferred to train the old-fashioned way.
He had no need for the beauty set, and as for the sake...
"Hey, um, mister Gosuke?"
"Wondering about the sake? We just got a little thing for you to sign saying you won't drink it." The older blonde leaned in closer and began whispering. "We don't really care if you drink it, we just need plausible deniability, dig?"
While Naruto wasn't particularly interested in it, it would make a nice gift. But for who?
I don't know if Iruka-sensei drinks. I'm pretty sure Kakashi-sensei doesn't. Hm, maybe... Anko-sensei! She seems like the type. She'd given him so much, it was only right Naruto give her something in return.
But is that what she'd really like? The genin mulled over the final prize, the golden kunai necklace. Remembering how they first met, the choice suddenly became clear. Naruto took the kunai.
"EXCELLENT CHOICE! Don't forget your cash prize!" Naruto took a bag of ryo from the table and left the crowded area to examine the gift for his sensei.
Holding the trinket up close, he admired the way the sunlight shimmered off the golden kunai.
I hope Anko-sensei likes it! Naruto looked around, but not finding his sensei in the crowd, decided to search the surrounding area.
If Naruto won the challenge, then it's nothing I can't handle... Sasuke's eyes burned with excitement. After seeing Hoshimitsu fight, he was dying to take him on himself. Plus, that simulator would make for excellent training.
Naruto continued his stroll around town, when suddenly, the orange-clad blonde was ambushed by a naked brown-haired girl who pulled him into a nearby alley. She was pretty strong for a girl her size.
"What the-
The girl cut Naruto off with a kiss. It appeared he had made a fan. Though a bit shocked by this girl's assertiveness, he decided to go along with it, reaching around the girl to to slap her bare butt as Anko had done to him.
Ever since the demonstration with Anko-sensei, it was like a fire had been lit inside him and the morning's 'encounter' with Konohamaru had done little to douse it.
Konohamaru... he looked so sad. I really gotta talk to him later... The blonde thought as the young girl pressed her body up against him and started kissing his neck.
"Congratulations on your victory, Naruto. You were awesome out there."
Naruto would hardly have called getting his ass kicked for three-and-a-half minutes awesome, but if she thought so, who was he to argue?
"Thanks! Um..." The genin realized he had no idea who this girl was.
"Choko. Choko Aruheito. We went to the same class, remember?"
"Um... yeah! Now I do!" he lied.
"I'm glad you remember me! Anyway, Anko-sensei wanted to me to have a little uh, private chat with you."
Oh, that makes sense... "So, what happens now?" Naruto asked.
Choko smiled seductively at him. "You just relax and let me do the work."
The brunette crouched down and pulled down his pants, finding to her surprise he wasn't wearing underwear and to her delight, he was impressively well-endowed.
He puts most guys I've messed with to shame... she thought as she took him in her mouth.
Naruto was conflicted. It felt really good, but he couldn't help but think the blow job from Konohamaru felt better.
I know I liked how it felt, so does that mean I like guys after all? Even though I thought I was with a girl? I know I didn't like kissing Sasuke, but that guy's a total dick, so why would I? But Konohamaru... Thought I liked him as a friend, but now... Would I like kissing Konohamaru? Naruto wondered.
The blonde shook his head and try to push these thoughts out of mind.
Choko removed her mouth and started to rub his shaft and lower head with her hands. "Wanna talk about it?" She asked, looking up at him.
She's pretty sharp. Maybe she could give me some advice? Naruto wondered.
Naruto took a breath and explained the morning's incident and how confused it had made him, but left his buddy's name out of it.
"Do you think you could be bi?"
Anko had asked Naruto that same question while teaching him some key terminology over yesterday's lunch.
"I'm not really sure."
"Hm... well, why not make sure? Experiment with him a little? Sounds like he'd be down for it." Choko giggled as she massaged his balls.
"That does sound kinda fun, but, I mean, if turns out I'm not... I just don't want things to be weird."
"Hm... Oh, I know! Why not start with one of your shadow clones?"
"Hmm..." It wasn't the worst idea Naruto had ever heard. It might clear things up for him, and it would certainly feel good.
"CHOKOOO!" A man's voice boomed through the alleyway, making the brunette nearly jump out of her bare skin.
"Fuck, it's my dad! Sorry, but I gotta go, Naruto! I promise I'll make it up to you another time!" Choko kissed him on the cheek and jumped up to the rooftops.
The blonde sighed and pulled his pants back up before turning back for the arena.
"You! Did you touch my Choko!?" It appeared Naruto had been found.
The genin summoned his clones to ward the older man off and made a beeline for the arena.
Back at the arena...
Sasuke had almost made it to the ring, but Rock Lee had beaten him to the punch.
He's probably after that training simulator like I am. Damn! Well, whatever. The fight matters more than the prize, anyway. Sasuke flexed as he watched the battle rage on, eager to show what he was made of.
Rock, being far more proficient than Naruto in the way of the fist, naturally fared far better against the fighting machine, but still failed to inflict any meaningful damage on him.
Even so, Rock managed to hold Hoshimitsu at bay for four minutes, winning the challenge, the money and the super prize of his choice. To everyone's surprise, Rock claimed the beauty set.
This will make a fine gift for Sakura! He thought with a smile.
"Guess that training program's mine after all." Sasuke grinned confidently and made a mad dash to the stage.
"SASUKE UCHIHA! READY TO RUMBLE?" The announcer held the mike to the genin.
"Always." The Uchiha coolly replied and stepped into the ring.
Sasuke began to silently study his opponent. That bulky armor and those tall geta conceal his true height and build. Given the way he moves, I'd say he and I would be similar in those respects. No ninjutsu, no genjutsu, no weapons, and I've already seen how he fights. I've got this in the bag.
The genin in blue smirked.
"If you think this will be easy, you're sorely mistaken." Hoshimitsu warned the boy.
"Really? Got any tricks up your sleeve?" It didn't sound like a bluff to Sasuke's ears.
"Yes. Here's a good one..." The emerald fighter pressed a button under his left shoulder plate, and Sasuke could hear the hiss of steam coming from his foe. Pipes protruded from the spaces in his armor, and wheels popped out from between the soles of his geta.
Better keep my eye on this one... Sasuke thought as he activated his Sharingan.
"BEGIN!" Gosuke yelled on the mic.
One rigorous battle later, Sasuke could barely stand.
So, the reason they call this guy the fighting machine is because he's literally part machine. Sasuke had seen for himself when he managed to break the gauntlet Rock had cracked.
The man's left arm was mechanical, and Sasuke was willing to bet the rest of his limbs were as well. They were likely controlled by some sort of magnetic jutsu.
I see... his jutsu is limited due to not having real limbs to channel them through, but he makes up for it with the strength his magnetically-controlled arms and legs provide.
These limbs, in conjunction with his pipe jets and roller blades, made the cyber-ninja a far stronger foe than most, and an absolute bitch to defend against.
-and what was with his chakra?
Normally, to one using Sharingan, chakra appeared as one of several different colors. This man's chakra, white and blindingly bright, was something Sasuke had never seen before.
Just what is he, anyway? Well, it doesn't matter. What's important is that I won. By the skin of my teeth, but I won. Now to claim my prize... Sasuke took the game machine and the bag with his money in it and went to rest at a nearby bench.
A curvy lady in a tan trenchcoat and fishnet shirt appeared among the crowd. Anko Mitarashi had arrived.
That guy in armor looks pretty tough... and that sake looks good. I think I'll give it a go. Anko enjoyed a good fight almost as much as a good fuck. She hadn't either in quite a while. In the blink of an eye, she'd made it to the stage.
Anko-sensei? I hope she'll be alright... Naruto had no doubt she could kick ass, but still, he couldn't help worrying about her.
"Well, well... looks like our final challenger is this SUPER-SEXY SHINOBI! I hope you can fight as good as you look, hot stuff!" Gosuke leered at her with a huge grin on his face.
"Oh, stop..." Anko giggled and waved her hand at him.
Demon's notes: Parents always have the worst timing, don't they? Anyhow, we'll soon be back to fucking.
To Banjo the Fox: thank you for your input. Nice to have a little positivity for a change. Though I must confess the original Anko sex ed fic was actually written by The Digger.
I liked the general idea, but was disappointed by the omission of yaoi and older-guy-on-loli, so I decided to make my own spin on it with a little more variety.
-and yeah, tbh, I find it irksome how Naruto and countless other male characters are either written 100% straight or 100% gay 99% of the time. Personally, I like the potential a bi character has to offer.