Six ways to sunday.
Idiom
Meaning: Thoroughly or completely; in every possible way; from every conceivable angle.
Six Ways to Sunday
Chapter Three- Sin
Riley didn't think he heard him right. Had she finally cracked and hearing things? But it's all in the eyes. Warm pools of blue consuming her soul lets her know that this is real. But even so, where did they go from here?
"We should talk," Mac said, breaking their trance. Riley nods, talking is good. But she still scared of what it all could mean. And what kind of people they would become after the talk.
They wind up back at Riley's apartment. They couldn't exactly have the conversation with Desi in the next room. A fact that makes Riley uncomfortable. What exactly could come from this conversation? He's still in a relationship as far as she knew.
"Beer?" she offers, shuffling to the kitchen.
"Got anything stronger?" Mac asked.
She's glad, there had never been a better excuse to day drink. "Got you covered." she said.
He's made himself comfortable on the couch when she brings them both whiskey on ice. She eases down slowly to the couch, careful not to react to the discomfort she's experiencing from her stomach and side.
After a big sip Mac begins, "So,"
Riley nods slowly, "so..."
"I guess I don't know where to start." He's gripping the glass so tightly she's concerned it might actually shatter in his hand.
"You can tell me what's changed since? Last we spoke that door was closed…"
Stupid, fucking door. She had gotten whatever closure she needed and had decided to move passed it. But here they are again. Here she is again, waiting for him to do something or say something that made everything she went through worth it.
"I know, I know...but going through this whole experience with you Riles...I don't know, I guess I have an all new appreciation for you and I'm just thankful that you're in my life."
She's struggling hard to hold on to her resolve. She softens with every syllable.
"You're a great friend but I don't think that's enough for me anymore." he said.
Holy shit. One near death experience and he's talking crazy.
"Mac," Riley tries to stop him. Even though these had been words she had always wanted to hear from him. She didn't want to hear it like this. What if in time he realizes he had been acting out of residual adrenaline or unbalance brain chemicals...what if he changes his mind.
"I know I sound crazy and this is coming out of nowhere but when I was lying in that chamber I didn't hear Desi's voice. I heard yours."
Riley is so overwhelmed with the words coming out of his mouth. Her self preservation instincts are kicking in and telling her to shut him out but a small part of her wants to fight her nature for him.
"And if I'm honest with myself I think I've always felt like this for you but never admitted it to myself…coming to terms with my feelings for you Riley is hard. Knowing that I can't mess things up with you the way I have with Desi. I'd never forgive myself."
She did not expect this when she woke up this morning. Mac next to her laying it all out. She just wishes she could trust the words coming out of his mouth. But to protect herself from spiraling back into that heartbroken girl she was months ago, she has to take everything with a grain of salt. Not to mention he's saying all this while he's still with Desi, something that annoys her. It feels like a party foul.
He's staring at her expectantly and she can't speak. "Please say something," he whispers.
"I don't know what to say Mac. This is a lot." she said. The right thing to say would be something that ensures all parties involved would be happy but those words didn't exist. She shifts nervously in her spot on the couch and winces before she can stop herself.
"I thought you said you could barely feel it." he said, disappointment evident in his voice. She pouts in response because she would never want him to feel guilty. He already carried the rest of the world on his shoulders. If she could make it lighter, she would take that chance.
He gets up from the couch and she feels some pressure off of the intense conversation they were having. She wants to ask what about Desi? But she's scared of what the answer would be. Nobody would ever be right in this situation. And she would rather go back to silently hurting than hurt Desi intentionally.
She hears him tinkering around in her kitchen and later in her bathroom. He returns moments later with one of her cereal bowls containing some kind of white, grainy paste.
"Do I even wanna know what's in that?" she said and he shakes his head.
"May I?" he gestures to her tank top. She nods and gets to her feet so his mystery paste wouldn't soil her couch. He then drops to his knees in front of her. His fingers gently skirt over her midriff, over her dark bruise. She subconsciously flinches under his touch. His other hand grips her hip and stills her squirming. His hand is warm and she fears if he leaves it there long enough he'd burn right through her flesh.
She's sure it looks innocent enough as he piles his homemade remedy unto her skin but it feels like she's doing something wrong. But it feels different. Being alone with him now. After his own confession. They were no longer two friends hanging out. This is something else.
In fact, it feels like sin itself when his grip tightens on her hip. Whether it's intentional on his part of not, it makes her feel wanted.
"This should help your bruise fade by morning." she hears him say.
When he gets to his feet, they are inches apart. Heat crawls up her neck as his focus descends her face to her lips. She wets her lips with her tongue and wonders if he has any clue how her body reacts to his nearness. His eyes are wild and daring but doesn't moves an inch. They could so easily give in to each other. It's closer than arms reach, what she always wanted. The problem now isn't getting what she wanted, it's how getting it would make her feel after the fact.
She wants him to make a move but she doesn't at the same time. His hand is still on her hip. As if she she weighs nothing, he gently tugs her closer and she falls into him. To stop their lips from colliding she turns her face and his lips land on her neck. He breathes against her neck, his warm breath tickles her skin. She wants him so bad she could cry. And she does a little.
"Don't make me be that girl," she said between tears, barely above a whisper.
He lets her go slowly and steps away from her like she was a raging fire.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm not that guy either…I don't know why i-" he mumbles to himself as he takes more steps away from her.
"I think I have to break up with Desi," he said. "And I have to do it now."
"What?" She couldn't have heard right.
"Being around you like this is dangerous Riles." he said, and then leaves.
Riley is left confused. Wasn't this what she wanted? Then why did she feel absolutely terrible about it.