November the 4th, 1976, was one of Kit Fellowes' favorite days in the her whole life. Kind of.

She had woken up with her legs hot against Sirius', his body worst than a furnace. She laid on her back, looking absentmindedly to the ceiling upon them. He, right beside her, was sleeping on his side with his head nestled on her shoulder and one hand pressing slightly on her stomach.

Kit sighed, pulling some hair away from his face, threading her fingers in his dark locks. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. She had never seen him like that before. The sun wasn't up yet, she had checked a little earlier. And his friends were nowhere to be seen. Being alone with him, even if asleep, felt like a blessing.

But she had to go before anyone could notice her hanging around Gryffindor's Tower. Better, before Filch caught her and delivered her straight to Dumbledore himself. She tried to get away from his grip, but Sirius insinuated one leg between hers, grounding her to bed. He was so cheeky.

"Kitty?" he mumbled against her sternum, moving closer around her.

"Yes?"

"You smell so good" he said quietly, placing a kiss on her jaw.

"That's good to know, Dad always complains five pounds are too much for a shampoo" she joked while welcoming his body moulding against hers.

"You buy it in Muggle stores?" he frowned, sniffing it closely. Kit burst out laughing, feeling her belly vibrate from her giggles.

"You're such a dork" the girl said with a wide smile on her face.

"I've been called worse" Sirius snorted in her arm, enveloping her in a crush hug. His words ringed in her mind, making her think about what he said the night before at the party. Kit thought maybe it wasn't the right time to talk about certain things, with her being almost naked and his dick half-hard against her stomach. But she was so curious.

"Do you really think you don't deserve anything good?" she asked, observing his features become sharper and colder than a second earlier.

"I told you I was joking" he said after a little pause, avoiding her look.

"Didn't seem a joke to me" she answered quietly.

"Do we need to talk about this?" he groaned, disentangling himself from her and plopping on his back, arms crossed. She narrowed her eyebrows, surprised at his reaction. It was a sore point, then. She sat up with legs crossed and looked down her lap.

"I just… Well, isn't this awkward" she thought out loud while playing with the hem of her – his – shirt. It was a Led Zeppelin one. Interesting. She wondered if he was Queen's fan as well.

"I'm sorry, Kitty. I don't feel like talking about that. Nothing personal" he said firmly, shrugging his shoulders.

"But…" she tried, but her words were cut off.

"How would you feel if I'd keep asking why you didn't want to get naked last night?"

She stayed quiet. Another sore point. Why did they wake up in the first place?

"Look, Kitty, I'm not saying I won't ever talk about that, but I'm not really in the mood right now"

She still didn't know what to say. In her mind they would have spent the remaining hours they had cuddling and whispering sweet nothings. But she had lived on a cloud long enough. Their whole night together had been a castle on the clouds.

"Why don't you come back here? It's still early" he touched lightly her knee, making her jump out from her reflections.

"I don't think I can" she murmured. Sirius removed his hand from her skin, and she already missed it.

"Have I upset you?" he asked with a concerned tone. Kit shook her head, smiling sadly.

"It's not that. We didn't think at all, yesterday" she started slowly. He looked disappointed.

"Are you saying you regret it?"

Kit shook her head firmly, feeling her shaggy hair move around her forehead. She must have been a disaster.

"Not for a moment. But we didn't think through it. And this discussion confirms it"

"You lost me at not for a moment" he grinned, making himself comfortable against the headband of the bed. She noticed a small tattoo on his hip that in the dark of the night had been almost invisible, it looked like an Ancient Rune or something. And the covers were low on his abdomen, and he was so tempting. God, she was an horny mess.

"You're so distracting" Kit sighed, pressing her fingers on her temples.

"What's to think through? Are we talking of labels or what?"

Bingo, Watson. Kind of.

"I'm not exactly saying I want a relationship, Sirius"

"Then what do you want?" he asked bluntly.

Kit hesitated. What did she want? A relationship? Certainly not, there were no bases to build something like that. Well, it isn't like all relationships had solid basis since the beginning, a part of her objected. Yeah, look at your parents, another part intervened. Point taken. She wasn't ready. And probably neither was he.

"God, this is so fucking difficult" she swore under her breath, almost wishing he didn't wake up that early.

"You're quite hot when you swear" he observed frankly, eyes fixed on her lips. Sirius Black was a fucking tease, she thought with frustration. He was there, looking that handsome without any effort, and the only thing she could do was blabbering non-stop about responsabilities and consequences and other shit. She truly had to sort out her priorities.

"Yeah, swear-words have their appeal indeed, but I was trying to make a point here"

"Do you like foul language then? You know, for future times" he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, letting her subtly know that indeed it wasn't a one-time thing for him. Good to know.

"I… Alright, I might, but will you please let me finish?" she admitted, exhausted. Talking with him so early in the morning was proving her to be one of the most tiring thing in the world.

"Be my guest"

"How do we act from now on?"

That seemed enough to shut him up. Finally, she thought almost smugly.

"Nothing witty to say, now?" she teased, looking around for her knickers. They were nowhere to be found.

"I was thinking"

"Yeah? 'Bout what?"

"I like this between us. Like, very much" he said, reaching for her hand again. He tugged it lightly towards his body and she accomplished, mounting on his lap with, she hoped, some delicacy.

"And I like you on me" he added, circling her face with both his hands.

"I bet you do" she snorted, feeling his dick hard against her thigh. Fucking hell.

"Stop it, Kitty" he whispered on her lips, making her shudder with excitement. She felt his hands moving slowly around the hem of her shirt, shifting it up on her hips. She was naked under it. Kit found it difficult to concentrate on an actual answer, especially when his hands, hot and a bit calloused, were all over her back.

"So, what are you saying? Casual hook-ups? Fuckbuddies? I don't follow you anymore" Kit asked with a bluntness she didn't know she had. Sylvie's influence, probably.

"Kitty, you're my friend"

Am I?

"And?"

"I think we could more than fuckbuddies. I don't even like that definition"

I don't, too.

"You're killing me" she admitted, abandoning her head against his shoulder.

"Why don't we give it a try? I get what you were saying, about not thinking through it. But here we are. I truly don't want you avoiding me after last night"

"I don't think I would" the girl defended herself with a scoff. But he was actually right. Not in the slightest she would ever look at him the same, not when they'd shared so much more than a fuck. Well, they'd fucked indeed, but they weren't strangers. She trusted him. And hoped he did trust her as well.

"I'm sure you would, actually. Let me think I know you well enough to assume it"

Indeed.

"Alright, then. I think it'll be a mess, though. Mark my words" she said with a mocking smile.

"I like messy. Like your hair right now. Seriously, it looks like a bird's nest" Sirius joked, threading his fingers in her locks. She tried to push him away, but he grounded her on him grabbing her arms lightly. She sighed heavily when her bare core brushed against his dick, making her shiver once again.

"That's not very nice to say" she mumbled in an accusatory tone.

"Joking. Just joking. You look lovely. Truly"

She looked unabashed from his compliment, arms crossed on her stomach. Sirius enveloped her thighs with both his hands, smiling widely when he felt goosebumps grow on her skin.

"I hate you, really. I hate that I can't stay mad at you for more than five minutes. Makes me feel like a big softie"

He laughed eartily, then proceded to give her one huge kiss on her cheek.

"Ah, but you are a softie" he said in between kisses on her whole face, alternating at every word a kiss.

"When are your friends coming back?"

"Don't have the slightest idea"

"Good"

In the end, she actually managed to stay mad at him for more than five minutes. She managed for a whole week, to be fair.

They had been seeing each other since Sirius' birthday night, and didn't make a mystery of it. Their mates in school knew, teachers knew, even her parents and sister had learnt she was seeing somebody. Obviously, there were no labels on it, but it wasn't like either of them cared about that. She didn't expect it to be so nice, but it actually was. Their teasing, the comforting moments they shared after a bad day, the affection they showed to each other were so pleasing that sometimes she thought she could get used to have that with him in long-term. But never said it out loud.

They fought with a certain regularity, but it had been mostly on stupid things like the bickering on the latest Quidditch match, the disagreement they had on a movie they had watched cuddled together in an almost empty cinema during Christmas break, the little show of jealousity she put on when he let her know that a few girls had asked him out for Valentine's day.

(The most heated up fight they had until then had been when she found out about Remus' lycanthropy and Sirius' being an animagus. She had discovered unintentionally, really, since she was half asleep on Sirius' chest in his common room. For quite some time she had taken to hang out with him and his friends from time to time, and had realized their company wasn't bad at all. She didn't mind their noisy encounters, even if they left her with such massive headachess that she wondered how in the world Sirius was putting up with them. And that night, late in January, they had played Exploiding Snap until they were the only ones left in the room, until she fell asleep. Well, half-asleep. And then James had made some comment about moons, and furry creatures and that time of the month. And then Sirius said something about missing being a dog lately. And she connected wearily the dots missing, and was wide awake in the next two minutes.

Shit, Sirius had said when realized she heard everything. Shit indeed. After reassuring Remus she would have brought the secret down to her grave, and sworn the same to James and Peter, she had gotten up and walked away so quickly that Sirius struggled to stay behind her.

"Why are you angry?" he asked when he finally managed to get a hold of her. She had snapped at him for the first time in all the months they had been seeing each other, getting away from his grip quite abruptly. The halls were dark and creepy and probably there were some between Prefects and Heads that waited nothing more to jump on them, so he urged her on a tight and dusty broom closet.

"Don't you understand?" she answered rudely.

"It wasn't my secret to tell, Kitty. I had no right to tell you about Remus"

"I'm not talking about Remus, for fuck's sake!"

"Then what?"

"You don't trust me, Sirius. Like, at all. You just like to fuck me"

"Are you for real?"

"I don't know anything about you! You don't talk to me. You used to do it more when we were not together. I can't understand you"

"I just don't want to trouble you with my problems"

"But I want to be troubled by you! I do that with you all the time! I wish you'd trust me as much as I trust you"

"It's not about trust, Kit. It's not"

"Then what it is?"

"I… I feel broken, most of the days. Don't know why. Well, maybe I do, but it just happens. And then I think I'd like to talk about it with you, but… It's hard, Kitty. I'm not used to share my feelings and all that shit"

"I just wish we could be like, I don't know, a normal couple sometimes. I know we're not one, but I'd like you to lean on me when you need it"

"A normal couple. I think I can try"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah")

So yeah, they were normal fightings, made by quite a normal couple. Most of the times.

Her day had started quite normally indeed. She had woken up, had a shower, and went to the Great Hall with her roommates. There was some chit-chat with Sylvie and Ava, since no one was actually capable of having a proper conversation that early in the morning, and tons of grumbling and yawning. An usual morning at the Ravenclaw table. But then Sirius slided in the bench beside her, looking tired and sad. No, more than sad. He looked miserable, with those huge damp eyes and the shadow of dark circles under them.

"You look like utter shit. Are you okay?" she asked, adjusting some fallen hair behind his ear then caressing lightly his unshaved cheek. He leaned in her touch, closing his eyes almost in relief.

"Can we talk after breakfast?" he murmured in her palm, eyelids still closed.

She looked over her shoulder, towards Gryffindor's table, searching for his best mates. She spotted James, looking livid in his face, while Peter seemed as miserable as Sirius. Remus wasn't there.

"Did something happen with James?" she asked quietly, removing her hand from his skin.

"After breakfast. I'll find you. Alright?" he said tiredly.

Kit was convinced something really bad had happened, but didn't feel like talking with all her classmates present in front of them. And besides, she had found over the course of their months together that Sirius was quite the private person, even if didn't exactly strike like one at first.

"Alright" she mumbled, confused.

He nodded shortly and enveloped her cheeks with his hands, pressing a light and quick kiss on her lips, then left as fast as he had arrived.

"That was strange" Phoebe commented while biting on some toasted bread quite noisily.

"I'll say" Kit said, her eyes trained on his figure leaving the Great Hall.

He eventually found her later that morning. He intercepted her while she was heading to Potions, and dragged her in an empty classroom without the usual glee he had during their rendez-vous.

He closed the door behind him and rested his back against it, exhausted.

Kit moved towards him, cradling his face in her hands delicately. He looked like he needed a good night of sleep.

"What happened?"

He shook his head firmly.

"You'll hate me" he murmured, boring his grey eyes in her chocolate one.

"You said that when you charmed my hair purple and yet here I am" she tried to joke, hoping in a small smile from him. He shook his head again, looking hopeless.

"I messed up, Kit. Big time" he whispered like he was revealing her a huge secret in a room filled of people.

"What happened with your friends?"

He winced at her blunt question. Then started talking. His words were flowing, more like. It

She was so confused about the whole business it actually took her a minute to realize what he had actually done.

"You could have killed him" she said icily, surprising even herself with her reaction.

"I know"

"Why? Why did you even think it?"

"He was threathening Remus, saying he would expose his condition to the whole school, and Remus looked so desperate… I don't know, really. I wasn't thinking straight. I never do when Snape is involved"

"That's no excuse"

"I know"

"And now they're angry at you"

"Furious. I don't blame them"

"Yeah"

There was a pregnant pause. Kit thought on his words, still star-struck. She'd never expect something like that from Sirius. From someone vile and corrupt and evil, yes. But that description didn't suit him at all. He was a good person. He always had been to her. The thought he could have Snape's blood on his hands if hadn't been for James, who risked his ass for him, made her shudder violently. But worse than that, the fact he put Remus, his very best friend, in a situation where he could have actually killed Snape, made her sick with worry and despair. That wasn't him.

"Are you angry?" he asked quietly. Kit shook her head back and forth, eyes fixed on her shoes. She couldn't find space in her body for anger. He had let her down. That was enough.

"I'm disappointed. Not angry" she revealed him earnestly. He nodded thoughtfully.

"That's worse" Sirius said, pressing a hand against his forehead. She wondered when was the last time he had a proper night of sleep. The last time they had slept together she had woken a bit earlier than him and stared at his relaxed features, making him look innocent and young.

"I know" she sighed. Another silence. This time neither of the two knew how to fill it. It was becoming too difficult, even for them.

"Are we through, then?" Sirius asked, looking almost unsure. The last time Kit had seen him like that was even before they started going out together. It had been months.

"What?"

"Are you through with me?" he repeated, curving his brows.

God knows I'm not, she thought.

"What? No. Unless you want to" she responded then, watching his broodish expression change in a surprised one. God, he truly expected she would have left him straight away.

"Of course not"

"Good. But I feel we shouldn't be together for some time" she continued, scratching one nail with her teeth. His face fell again, just like his shoulders. But he nodded nonetheless.

"I see"

"I'm not tossing you out, Sirius. I just… I don't like the kind of person you are right now. I know you can be so much better than this" she assured him, taking his hand in his, palms warm and fingers icy like always. Some things never changed.

"Yeah, I don't know about that" Sirius snorted, playing with the lines on her hand. He wasn't looking at her.

"I do. You can. You are to me" Kit insisted fiercely.

He raised his head to meet her eyes again, filled with sorrow and regret and guilt. But she could see a small, almost imperceptible glint of hope.

"I feel like I don't thank you enough sometimes" he said, kissing her knuckles.

"I don't want to be thanked. Just, think about that, alright?"

"Alright"

"Need to go now, I'm quite late" she sighed, feeling almost guilty in leaving him right when he needed someone. But he needed to realize he had been wrong. Sirius never liked to say sorry, he was never thaught to. But there was always time to learn. And in the meantime, she couldn't be around him. It would have never worked like that. Never.

She approached him and stood on her toes, kissing him on the mouth. He responded immediately, gripping her hips with his both hands, his back hitting the cold wall behind him. They had kissed like that hundred times, but everytime his tongue and touch and the warm firmness of his body still made her knickers go damp in less than five minutes, and when she had told him, while they were both quite intoxicated with alcohol, he had laughed so hard she had to hit him on the head. Kit groaned in his mouth when he bit her lower lip, and had to recall all her good will to not ground her hips against his like they had done on other occasions. She pressed on his mouth, chapped and cold and so dear to her one last time, then drew back visibly panting. His lips were rosy just as his cheeks.

"A farewell kiss?" he asked, perplexed. She smiled weakly.

"No, it's a goodbye one" she corrected. And with her heart heavy with pain and disappointment she left the room in a hurry.