Notes: This is quickly going to become a multiple chapter story, I just can't get my brain to shut down with this one.

Elizabeth sat on her couch, a half empty glass of wine she dangled loosely in her hand. She watched the rain stream down the window.

A business transaction, Liz replayed the conversation in her head. Everything we have been though, everything we have done for each other, is that really all I am to him? A tear slowly slipping down her cheek, she swallowed down the last gulp of wine, the bottom of the glass ticking on the coffee table as she set it down.

Liz stood, hugging herself while she walked over to the window. Her anger being overtaken by hurt; her shoulders started to shake as her simple tears became a flood over her face.

Red stood in front of Liz's door, rain dripping off the edge of his hat. Red flinched when a shot of pain from his shoulder hit him, he adjusted his arm in his sling. With a deep breath he gently knocked on the door.

Elizabeth didn't even budge when she heard to the knock, given what time it was and just the sound of the knock she knew it was Red. She closed her eyes and dropped her head; she couldn't do this…not right now.

"Elizabeth?" Red's voice echoed through the door. As much as Liz was hurting, Red's voice always soothed her.

Red heard her footsteps moving towards the door, a wave of nervousness coming over him. Liz stopped at the door, resting her head against it taking a large quite breath as she tried to calm her voice that she knew would crack and shake.

Red waited, knowing she was just on the other side of the decretive piece of wood that separated them. Red lowered his voice as he spoke.

"Lizzie, please let me in." The tips of his fingers coming to rest on the door. Elizabeth let out a huff of air as she fought to keep her tears at bay. Red felt a stab to his heart when he heard the sobs coming through the door, the bill of his hat touching the door as he moved as close to it as he could.

"Please sweetheart…open the door." The tone in Red's voice threatening to crush what little bit of hurt and anger she was holding on it. Liz squeezed her eyes closed, no…not this time, he's not just going to show up and smooth talk me to make this better. Mustering up the last bit of strength she still had.

"Leave me alone Red…Ple-Please…just go." She turned and rested her back on the door. Red's voice rumbled through the door as he leaned his shoulder against it.

"Lizzie…" Red's heart was bounding in his chest, He had lost count how many times she had been mad at him, how many times he had said the wrong thing to her. Sure, she had been mad at him, frustrated, hell even wanted to beat the crap out him, but this time was different; this time he had hurt her, he had promised her time and time again that he would never hurt her.

He had been so sure that pushing away, keeping her at an arms distance was the best thing for her to keep her safe.

Now, standing there listening to her trembling voice, hearing the tears and the pain, he wondered if he could ever make this right.

"Raymond…" Liz's voice broke him from his thought, he waited for anything more to come through the god forsaken door that kept him from her.

"If you care about me at all, you'll leave…I can't do this right now." Liz's voice shaking but sure of her words.

Red's own eyes closing shut, rolling his tongue around his mouth as he fought the pressure building behind his eyes, his breath catching as he started to speak.

"When-" Liz could hear the tremble in Red's voice, turning her head looking at the door over her shoulder.

"You're ready…call me." Liz slid down the door, holding herself as she heard Red's footsteps move away from the door.

Dembe saw the look in Red's eyes as Red settled into the back seat of the car.

"Drive Dembe…"

Liz had made her way to the window, watching the taillights of Red's car disappear down the street, the rain finally over taking the small red lights.

As the sun broke through the window of Elizabeth's room the warmth of the light did nothing to heal the hurt, she still felt tugging at her heart, she had slept only a couple hours. Pushing herself up in the bed and drawing her knees up to her chest. Looking around the dark lonely room, she made her mind up. She needed space, time, distance from Red and the task force.

It didn't take her long to pack the large duffle bag, making a phone call to Cooper that she needed some time off and would not be reachable was a bit of challenge, finally blaming the need for the space on Reddington, Cooper understood, another phone call to settle her travel arrangements and selling of the apartment. She grabbed a pin and paper and sat down at the kitchen table.

Satisfied with her letter, she placed it in an envelope and left it on the table. Grabbing her bags, stopping at the door, looking at the closed piece of paper one more time.

She was at the airport when she finally called Dembe. Her hand shaking as she held the phone up to her ear and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

"It's' Liz, is he around you?" Elizabeth sat down on the bench behind her.

"No, he is asleep." Dembe's voice smooth and steady.

"Dembe, listen, there's a note I left for Red on my table, please get it and give it to him. I left a mailing address." Dembe cut her off.

"Elizabeth, what are you doing?" his voice still smooth and calm.

"I'm leaving Dembe, I need some time. I can get mail at the address, please give Red my letter and leave the key on the table. I've already made arrangement for the apartment to be sold and the money to go into an offshore account."

Dembe stayed quite as Liz spoke.

"Dembe, take care of him" Dembe could hear a quiver in her voice, but before he could say anything the line went dead. He looked down the hall and then snuck out the front door.

Elizabeth heard her flight number being called over the speaker, wiping a hand down her face, she shrugged off the last of nagging feeling she had about leaving, grabbing her bag's and boarded the plane.

Red was standing next to the bar, having woke to find it early evening and Dembe gone. Assuring himself that Dembe just went out for food, he poured himself a scotch, the thin tip of the glass resting on his lips before he felt the burn of the amber liquid as it slid down his throat. His thoughts quickly shifting to Elizabeth and how he was going to make this right. Settling on the fact that when Dembe got back he was going to go try and talk to her again.

Red looked over his shoulder as he heard the doorknob start to turn, really hoping it was Dembe as he had one arm in a sling and a perfectly good glass of scotch in the other, there was no way he could get to the gun holstered to his lower back in time. Dembe's large frame slipped though the door.

"Did you go out for dinner?" Red spoke over his shoulder, setting the empty tumbler on the bar. Dembe stopped just inside the kitchen and waited for Red to turn around. Realizing his friend was not talking, Red turned to see him standing there.

"What's wrong?" Red could instantly tell something was off, Dembe stood there, his hands crossed in front of him, the letter in hand. Dembe tipped the letter up to get Red's attention with it. Red cocked his head and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

Closing the space between him and Dembe, Red could see his name on the envelope scrolled out in Elizabeth's handwriting. Red's heart started to pound a little harder as Dembe handed him the letter and walked past him to the bar. His immobilized arm holding the letter close to him in his hand while his right hand gently lifted the tab of the envelope. Feeling the beat of his heart as is started to hammer in his chest.

Red,

I find myself lost, lost with no path or stars to lead me home. The last few weeks with you, I felt things were changing, that things were going to be different, that a path was going to appear or a bright star would start shinning, I wish you would have just kissed me in Cuba, I needed you to do that, to show me you were going to let me in.

It's clear to me I was wrong, wrong about everything…so wrong actually that if I stay here, I'm afraid I wont be able to find myself again, I'll be lost forever and worse you'll be there to see it.

I have always tried to be strong and brave for you, show you that I can handle myself, I can't let you see me fail, I can't let you down like that. I'm leaving Red, pleased don't try and find me, I need to do this.

If you love me at all, you will understand why I need to do this.

Know that I love you too much, for you to see me self-destruct. As much as I wish you would take down the walls around your heart, around your feelings and admit even a shred of love for me, I know you won't, maybe someday when this is all over, maybe then we can share in those feeling…be safe Raymond.

Love, Lizzie.

Red felt his heart drop out of his chest and a sick feeling come over him in the pit of his stomach, he looked over at Dembe.

"Where is she?" Panic filling Red's voice, quickly walking over to Dembe.

"She's gone Raymond, all she left was a mailing address." Dembe produced a small card out of his pocket and hand it to Red.

"Sh-she called you?" Red took the paper out of Dembe's hand, looking up at Dembe.

"Yes." A simple answer from Dembe.

"I need to find her Dembe, where did she go?" Dembe let out a heavy breath.

"No Raymond!" Dembe's voice soft but stern. "She does not want you to come looking for her." Dembe's trying to put care in his words.

"For once my brother, listen to her Raymond, she needs time" Dembe put a light hand on Red's shoulder and walked past him to his room. Red pored another glass of scotch, slumping down in the chair next to the window. The pressure behind his eyes too much to hold back as a few tears slid down his face.