POV Jellal:
I took my then-Crime Sorciere comrades with me on a mission.
A year back, I disbanded the guild because I wanted each of them to have a different life according to their beliefs.
Sorano joined her sister Yukino in Sabertooth when I visit her she is as always noisy and wayward, it is impossible to deny.
Meredy lives in Hargeon, has a boyfriend: Lyon Vastia
"I hate him fucking much"
However, I cannot say anything about it, it is her choice I can only worry about her, I've given my concern over to that little pink stubborn dumpling. I swore it to Ultear.
Erik gets hooked on just any job and often has me pinpointed when I start to think about something that allegedly blew his brain It's been fun for me he is getting married to Kinana.
Macbeth and Richard, i.e. one weirder than the other in terms of behavior, these two gentlemen when they meet, no one knows what will happen in a moment They argue because someone has lost something and accusations are being made, unlike Erza's comrades, I mean Natsu and Gray, my guild never got the fuck. Two words and one of them is trapped by the spell.
And of course Sawyer, the lightning-fast type of person, and very confident too. For the present time, he is doing nothing.
I do not consider us to be my best friends, however, we have always formed a good team of work independent, with their own lives and homes, not interfering with anyone.
When nothing is happening, I occasionally complete tasks for Fairy Tail given by Laxus.
...
The girls lit a fire, the rest of them started to set up the tent, it was not without laughter, because Erik broke something.
"Maybe someone will help me, huh ?!"
"Oh, it's not my fault you're stupid"
"One more word, Macbeth ..."
"Will you feed me the snake?"
At this point, they both kept silence, are not and have never been prone to fights over just any trivia
"Wait, I'll help you." I walked over calmly to check what had happened.
"Prove yourself boss"
"You got it at the wrong angle."
"And you don't do that?" These words made my mind turn off, I knew exactly where he wanted to stab me, I felt my face warming up.
" ... I have no idea what you're talking about"
"You're in a relationship with Scarlet, there could be a lot going on"
I was surprised and confused
"Do I look like a guy who, after kissing, throws a woman onto the bed and fucks her? I'm not like that, I wouldn't hurt her. What? That demonic laugh. Why do my limbs tremble? I feel sweat trickling down my forehead."
"What's on your mind ?!" God, it's good that Erik knocked me down in time
"Sorry, I was thinking too hard"
"It scared me"
"Jellal, come over here!" Sorano gave orders
"Oh ... I'm coming now, you don't have to shout"
"Have you eaten anything today?"
"No." Better to be honest with her
"So now we are not surprised why your psyche is failing" Meredy added her opinion
"Don't treat me like a baby please"
...
We watched the sun go down,Erik took three more pieces of food while Macbeth watched me, which was embarrassing and I heard them talking to each other about me.
"You noticed it too, right?"
"Unfortunately but yes"
"Dude, he's crazy. His thoughts are a chaotic mix of pleasure and tragedy"
"And that darkness in his heart"
"What the fuck are you talking about ?!"
"Erik, he wasn't like that for some incident ..."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Separation of his personality and construction of the Tower of Heaven"
"So he's fucked up to the rest"
"Jellal is in serious trouble with himself. Meredy thinks so too."
"Anyone can do anything about it?"
"Better not to interfere"
"Would he be able to kill us?"
"Yes"
At the slogan "Kill", my hands were trembling again, incredible excitement passed under my skin as if I wanted victims: Merciless Demon, hungry for death
"Is It Really Me?"
They know more than I do, and I keep disobeying myself saying it's okay, but it's not true.
...
The next day, we were near Magnolia, training hard to get stronger I wasn't doing too well
"I suddenly lost my magical powers!"
I fall to my knees, the pain feels like a hole is being dug inside my skull. I can't calm down, I want to scream and cry, but neither do that seeing as through a fog and practically hearing nothing except a squeal and muffled sound of my name from the lips of desperate Meredy.I have no idea what happened next.
...
I open my eyes, there are three people above me
"What? I'm in my house"
Meredy and Erza, they hold my forearms, they are sobbing, and Sawyer breathed a sigh of relief, I can still hear that someone is in the kitchen
"You are very lucky" It was Erik, he brought a glass of water
"Why?"
"You don't remember anything?" I felt sorry to look at the sad Meredy
"Absolutely nothing"
"You passed out during training, fractions of a second after you held your head" Sawyer explained everything to me
" I see"
"Sorano will report to you soon"
"Okay, thank you." I was ashamed of giving them trouble
"Jellal, you're just tired. You're always on missions, you don't have time for yourself." Erza's voice is so nice for me, but I show my stubbornness
"Dark Guilds Won't Eliminate On Their Own"
"Shit, dude! Not today, tomorrow you will catch them. You have Erza, take care of each other, maybe you'll feel better."
"Erik, for God's sake ..."
"... What ?! That's the only thing I can take him to the doctor." Poor my girlfriend blushed
...
The office of the famous healer in Fairy Tail, they call her Porlyusica, apparently does not like people
"Well well. Jellal Fernandes, what brings you here? "
"How did you know it was me and not Mystogan?"
"Edolan smell, different from earthly smell, from this I can recognize who is who"
"Intriguing Abilities"
"Do not flatter yourself, tell me what are you here for?"
"For a few weeks now, my well-being is very bad"
"What exactly?"
"I'm sweating too much, I'm stuffy, I feel like vomiting, I'm losing power, I'm getting chills and a headache, which makes my memory disappear"
"I can already see insomnia in those eyes, they have dark circles under them. Okay, roll up your sleeve because I have to take blood for tests. You're not afraid of needles, are you?"
"Of course not"
"That's great, you will also have to stay here until evening, then there will be results"
Moments later, I had to take everything off myself
"Literally everything" It caused disgust for myself. My shoulders were tense as she stood behind my back.
"Relax, I don't care about your scars, although I sincerely feel sorry you have so many of them. Once I put Erza, an artificial eye, she can only cry with one "
"I know." I looked down at the memory
"Get dressed now"
She told me that I was physically healthy, only underweight for my height The most amazing diagnosis was that I had psychosomatic consist in the fact that bodily ailments have a basis in the psyche, it is experienced when there is a measurable stress, then the human body is weakened and unconsciously negative thinking, feelings can be turned into a physical symptom, this is called the Conversion Reaction phenomenon. Or, in other words, if the mind is broken whole, the internal organs get fucked up
"Can I be mentally ill?"
It's gonna be sorted out, I have plans and what? My life is going to collapse like ... Tower?
"I knew he would get his revenge someday," I said softly
...
Another laugh in my mind, I start screaming to heaven as if I gave up. The house is empty, I can't stand it. I need to get drunk and it's good, I also need a cigarette tonight.
- "Siegrain, leave me at last!" I knocked over the table and chairs, alternately laughing and crying, and I got really fucked up.
I had an orgasm from the pain, I put out my unburned cigarette on myself,I was lying on the floor, helpless and exhausted, I grab my lacrima with the last bit of hope, call Erza because I don't know how to live anymore.
" He's right next to me, taking my energy away."
"You're pathetic"
... End Part 1.
Author's note:I immediately write here that what is presented here is the fear of a psychiatric diagnosis.
A person with any disorder is not a Killing Monster.
This is a person who needs immediate help!
Please respect such people because you never know what will happen to you.
Let's respect each other
I hope that you liked it