Thank you for your reviews! Someone pointed out that the summary focused on Elizabeth, but the story seemed to have more from Nathan's POV. That was a valid observation, and since I seem to gravitate to writing Nathan (I don't know why, he just comes so easily to me) I went ahead and re-worked the summary. Thank you for the feedback!

On a side note, I really want to meet Nathan's mom! I hope they introduce her next season, and tell us more about his sister and his past.

Elizabeth woke from dreams she couldn't recall but that had left her full of trepidation. She remembered the colors - red and black and blue and brown - and warm arms, but nothing more.

Her eyes felt better today. No longer gritty and puffy, though when she glanced at her reflection after washing her face she thought there was still a little redness in them. No matter. Elizabeth had never been much for hiding, and one day to herself was all that she would allow. Though it still upset her to think about, Elizabeth found that she could think about the new information she'd been given with more equanimity than she'd been able to find the day before. The truth had not changed overnight, but she was no longer worried that it would knock her down.

Jack had always been who he was, and she had loved him for it.

And, though she could not deny that she was lost, Elizabeth had always been who she was. Now, it was time to figure out how to get back to the person she had allowed herself to lose sight of. Nathan had told her she was a good friend, but her friendship had been lacking lately. That was something she could fix.

And she would start with Rosemary.

When Laura knocked on her door after breakfast, Elizabeth was ready to face the day. She kissed little Jack on the forehead and thanked Laura, and then she crossed the short distance between houses and knocked on her best friend's door. She wasn't sure if Rosemary would even be home at this time, so it was with a sense of relief that she watched the door swing open and reveal Rosemary's bright face.

"Hi," Elizabeth said.

"Oh, Elizabeth!" Rosemary exclaimed with her usual warmth and excitement. "Come in, come in."

Elizabeth glanced around as she moved past Rosemary and into the room, but Rosemary appeared to be alone. That was fortuitous.

"Are you okay?" Rosemary asked, and then enveloped Elizabeth in a hug before she could answer. "I know, I know, what kind of question is that, but I was just so worried about you. Lee said we should give you some time, but you know how I struggle with that, and I ..."

"Rosemary," Elizabeth interrupted. She returned the hug and then pulled away and offered her friend a fond smile. "I'm okay."

Rosemary narrowed her eyes at her. "Are you? Because no one would blame you if you weren't, Elizabeth."

Oh, Elizabeth was so grateful to have this bright, boisterous woman in her life. "I am. I'm not fine, but I am okay. Better than I was yesterday. But I was hoping to talk to you, if you have time?"

"Elizabeth," Rosemary chastised, "of course I have time. I always have time for you."

"You're the best."

Rosemary beamed at her and shrugged. "I know." And she laughed, and though she still felt raw, Elizabeth knew that she had made the right choice to come over.

Rosemary led them to the couch. She offered Elizabeth her choice of tea or coffee, but Elizabeth declined both. She didn't think her stomach would handle either today. She'd made eggs and toast for little Jack's breakfast, but had found that she was really only interested in eating the toast.

"So," Rosemary began, patting Elizabeth's knee as she took a seat next to her on the couch, "tell me everything."

But now that the moment was upon her, Elizabeth wasn't sure she knew how to start. She opened her mouth to reply but her lips moved soundlessly as her brain fumbled with remembering how to string words together. Funnily enough, it was reminiscent of the way she'd often seen Nathan stumble over his words ...

No.

Elizabeth sighed in irritation. "I'm embarrassed, Rosemary. I shouldn't have yelled at Nathan like that, in front of everyone. I was just so upset, and I thought ... I don't know what I thought. I knew there was something he wasn't telling me, and I knew it had something to do with Jack, but I didn't know ..."

Rosemary tipped her head to one side and gave Elizabeth a look of such understanding and compassion. "Oh, Elizabeth. I'm sure that Nathan knows that you were upset. Your friends care about you, and you have so many friends in Hope Valley. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."

"I just don't understand why he didn't tell me."

Rosemary didn't immediately respond. Elizabeth had focused her gaze on a spot on the wall behind Rosemary, but now her attention snapped back to her friend's face. The look she found there was inscrutable but vaguely disconcerting in its sharpness.

"Don't you?"

The simplicity of the question brought Elizabeth up short. Rosemary's expression told her that the other woman didn't believe for a second that Elizabeth didn't understand, but there was no anger or recrimination in her tone. Only a prodding that Elizabeth couldn't ignore despite its subtlety. No, that wasn't really true. Though her gut reaction had been to be upset, Elizabeth knew Nathan well enough to know why he hadn't told her. She had seen how protective he was, and - wrong or right - Elizabeth didn't doubt that he'd only been trying to protect her.

"I feel so ... lost, Rosemary."

It was the first time Elizabeth had admitted it out loud. She had felt this way for a while now, though she'd ignored it and pushed it away rather than face it. Nothing felt the way it was supposed to - the way she'd expected it to. So, Elizabeth poured her heart out to Rosemary. She apologized for being distant and preoccupied, and told her friend about how Allie had clearly tried to set her and Nathan up at the adoption ceremony, and she confessed about her almost kiss with Lucas, and his failed attempt to hold her hand in the saloon, and her conversation with Nathan outside the infirmary ... she told Rosemary everything, and found a peace in the telling. Throughout, Rosemary listened with compassion. She let Elizabeth say whatever she wanted without having to worry about the words she used.

There was a freedom in knowing that you were with people who gave you the room to be exactly who you were.

When Elizabeth had talked herself out of words, Rosemary leaned forward and gave her knee a gentle squeeze. "Oh, Elizabeth. You lost your husband, but you'll find your way. Give yourself some time to figure out what it is you really want, and then you can decide how to move forward. The people who love you will wait, for as long as it takes."

It was solid advice. Aside from having new information about Jack, the real problem that Elizabeth felt she needed to work out was whether or not she was truly ready to move on with another man - and whether or not that man was Lucas.

A question that he would have been surprised to know she needed to ask, considering ... well, everything.

Truthfully, it wasn't a question that Elizabeth should need to ask at this point, but here she was. And whether or not she felt ready to face the answer, she knew that she already had one.

What a mess.

Then, Rosemary giggled. When Elizabeth gave her a questioning look, the other woman said, "Allie really tried to set you up like that?"

And Elizabeth couldn't help it: she chuckled. "She did. And she was so happy about it, you should have seen her face, Rosemary."

"What did Nathan do?"

"What could either of us do? Oh, Rosemary, he looked so horrified!" Elizabeth started to laugh. "I can't imagine what kind of a talk Nathan had with her after that."

"To be a kid again," Rosemary said with a shake of her head. "Everything seemed so simple then, didn't it?"

Elizabeth sighed. "It did." She could remember being a young girl and thinking that adults made even less sense than boys did, or her sister Viola. She couldn't understand why they made decisions the way they did, or why all of the things that Elizabeth herself considered important seemed so frivolous and unimportant to her parents.

Elizabeth hadn't known, then, how confusing and twisted life could get from one day to the next; or that simple and easy truly were not the same thing, and that the older you got the less simple things seemed to become.

Maybe they were still simple, and it was just that age and experience made them all more aware of how even the simplest decisions could affect things they neither understood or expected.

Elizabeth sat with Rosemary for a while longer. They talked about Jack - Rosemary had not struggled as heartily with Nathan's information as Elizabeth had, but she had needed some time to sit with it - and how things were going with Rachel. Rosemary bemoaned the difficulties of mentoring a teenager and Elizabeth laughed when her friend turned a threatening finger on her and said, "Just you wait, you'll see!"

By the time Elizabeth left Rosemary's it was nearly lunch. She stopped by her house to check on Laura and little Jack and grab something to eat. She decided to check in on Florence and Ned first, and then she wanted to see how Clara was doing.

When she'd stepped out onto her porch and closed her door, Elizabeth turned just in time to see the familiar, straight line of Nathan's form astride Newton as he disappeared down the lane.

Elizabeth forced a breath into her lungs and started the walk into town. She added Nathan's name to the list of people she wanted to talk to - she owed him an apology.

There was a telegram waiting for Nathan when he stopped by the mercantile. Florence had a new helper for the day, and Nathan grinned when Robert proudly handed him the telegram with a flourish.

"Hanging up your Mountie dreams, Robert?" Nathan teased.

"My mom said helping out at the mercantile would be a good experience," Robert explained. Then, in a lower, conspiratorial tone, he added, "I just think she wants me to do math."

Nathan laughed. Robert was becoming quite the young man, and Nathan loved seeing his personality and sense of humor solidify into that of a young adult. It made him think of Allie and her new penchant for calling adults by their given names when she was frustrated ... or her attempt to set him and Elizabeth up at the adoption ceremony. He'd had to have quite the talk with her after that one. She hadn't enjoyed it.

Nathan wondered what kind of mischievous hijinks Robert had subjected his parents to, and whether or not he was still getting up to them.

"How are you doing today, Ned?" Nathan asked. Ned was in his chair again and tucked into a corner behind the counter.

"Getting better every day," Ned answered with a smile. "Florence still won't let me do anything though."

Nathan chuckled and glanced down at his telegram. Evie Grant would be "delighted to have her granddaughter for as long as she wanted to stay, and if she was anything like her uncle then she'd do her absolute best to put a few extra pounds on those growing bones." His mother's warmth could be felt even through the paper, and it made Nathan realize with a little pang that it had been too long since he'd seen his mother. Maybe if he finished this assignment in good time he'd take the train up to Calgary to pick up Allie and spend a few days with his mother. By then, Allie's adoption should be finalized.

"Florence?"

"Yes, Constable?"

"Do you think I could place a call? I don't know if my mother has a telephone, but I'd like to see if I can reach her through one of the Calgary hubs."

"Certainly. Let me get the Calgary operator on the line."

Florence hadn't made it back to the switchboard when the phone rang. Nathan folded the telegram and slipped it into his pocket just as he heard Florence say from the operator room, "Hold, please. Constable?"

When Nathan turned to glance at Florence she was grinning. "Your mother is on the phone."

"Now that's some luck," Ned muttered.

Nathan grinned and went to pick up the phone receiver. "Mom?"

"Nathan!" His mother sounded just as boisterous and upbeat as he remembered. It reassured and uplifted him to hear her voice again. "You should have just called me, silly boy, it's faster!"

A dry chuckle escaped him and he glanced down at his feet. Just like his mother to start in on the teasing first thing. "I wasn't sure if you had a telephone."

"In Calgary? Honestly, Nathan. No matter, it was probably easier for me to call you anyway. Now what's this I hear about Allie coming to visit? Is everything okay?"

Nathan gave his mother a quick rundown of his assignment - though he left the details a little sparse and said only that he had been tasked with tracking a group of trouble makers - and left out any mention of why he thought a little break from Hope Valley might be a good thing for him and Allie both. His mother was delighted with the idea of spending time with Allie, and assured him that she would be waiting to pick Allie up from the train station whenever she was ready. Nathan thanked his mother and they ironed out the finer details of the trip.

Then, when he'd told his mother that he needed to continue his rounds, his mother asked the question he'd been dreading. "Are you sure everything is okay, son?"

"Things are good, mom. I'm good."

Nathan doubted that his mother believed him. She didn't push any further, though, just paused before saying: "Be careful out there, Nathan."

"Love you, mom."

When Nathan hung up he glanced around for Florence and made sure to thank her. Then, he said his afternoons to Robert and Ned and left the mercantile feeling a little lighter than he had when the day started. Now that he'd made accommodations for Allie during his absence there was little to do but hammer out things like train tickets. Nathan had packed his provisions last night and left his travel bags by the front door. He didn't need much, and whatever he didn't have he could purchase in Benson Hills when he reported to the Mountie office there. Nathan had always been a light traveler, and tracking required one to travel with only the necessities.

To his surprise, Nathan's luck held out. He'd barely crossed Main street when Allie popped out of the Mountie office.

"Hey," Nathan called in greeting. "I was just going to look for you."

"Opal's mom said that I could stay with them for as long as I needed to!" Allie exclaimed. She was clearly excited and she skipped once down the boardwalk.

"I just hung up the phone with grandma. She's excited to see you. So, what do you say? Two weeks with grandma, and then you can come back and stay with Opal and her mom?"

"One week," Allie bargained.

"Ten days."

With a sigh, Allie gave him her signature "I've been defeated" nod and glanced at her feet. "Yes, sir."

"I'll talk to Opal's mom this afternoon, and get your train tickets. Why don't you go home and pack."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. I'm sorry, Allie, but I have to report to Benson Hills as soon as I can. I sent a wire to the Mountie office in Benson Hills explaining the delay, but I need to head out sooner rather than later."

"I know. I just wish you didn't have to go, Uncle ... dad."

There was still that tinge of uncertainty in her voice when Allie said it, but the change mid-sentence made Nathan smile. "I know," he said as he pulled her into a hug. "And you know if they'd asked I would've said no."

"But they didn't ask," Allie said into his Serge jacket.

"No, they didn't." Nathan released her and smiled.

But Allie's attention had been caught by something over Nathan's shoulder, and the look that crossed her face told Nathan what - or who - she might be looking at. He turned just enough to see that Allie's gaze had found Elizabeth as she disappeared into the mercantile.

Nathan turned back to his nie ... daughter. It was going to take them both a little time to get used to that. "Go on," he said gently. "I'll see you at home, okay?"

"Okay."

When Allie had disappeared again Nathan headed in to his office and set about making the rest of the preparations for her trip. He considered letting Allie ride with him all the way to Benson Hills but that was a long trip for someone who was still a novice in the saddle. No, it was better to have her take the stagecoach to Benson Hills. They could leave tomorrow morning and have lunch there before Allie boarded the train to Calgary. From there he'd head straight to the Mountie office.

With the logistics out of the way all Nathan had to do was find Bill. Even though he'd been a Mountie for years, Nathan still found some wonder in how quickly things could be coordinated when an order came down - and he hadn't even managed to coordinate this one very quickly, all things considered.

Nathan stood and straightened his Serge jacket. He could head down to Bill's office and give him the rundown of Nathan's plan, and button up any last minute preparations, and then he and Allie could be ready to leave first thing in the morning. He'd have to stop by Opal's house on his way home, but that wouldn't take long considering that Allie had already received permission to stay with them.

When the door to his office opened and Nathan glanced up to see Elizabeth framed in the doorway, his heart leapt in an uncomfortable mix of anxiety and anticipation. He hadn't seen her since those moments in the street, much less spoken with her, and despite everything it reassured him to see her now.

"Hello."

"Hi."

Nathan watched as Elizabeth stepped the rest of the way into the office and closed the door behind her. Her demeanor was quiet, subdued even, but her eyes were bright and clear when she stood across the desk from him and folded her hands in front of her.

"I just wanted to apologize. For confronting you in the street like that. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry, Nathan."

Nathan studied her. "Thank you." Then Bill's words came back to him, and Nathan continued. "I'm sorry for keeping it from you, Elizabeth. I thought I was doing the right thing."

Elizabeth took in his words. Knowing that Nathan had kept the information from her had hurt, and so had the truth, but Elizabeth could concede that a part of her had known that Nathan hadn't kept it from her to be hurtful. He'd made what he thought was the best decision.

Though she would never know what had driven Jack to make the choices he did that day, Elizabeth knew in her heart that he had also made what he thought was the best decision.

Even the best of men made mistakes, as Elizabeth had seen - twice over.

She was trying to decide how to respond when her eyes caught sight of what was on Nathan's desk. Neat, masculine handwriting had scribbled notes over a piece of paper, and there was a telegram lying face up on the ledge nearest her. It took less than a heartbeat for her to make out the words "assignment" and "asap" and she glanced up sharply.

"You're leaving?"

Nathan shifted his weight from one foot to the other and put a hand on his Sam Browne belt. "I've been called in to track the Olsen gang. They've managed to evade every Mountie office from Hamilton to Benson Hills."

Elizabeth tried to make sense of his words, but her heart had incited a riot in her breast. "The Olsen gang?" she repeated.

"They've made a business of robbing banks," Nathan explained.

That answer made it worse. Everything between them felt so ... convoluted and out of whack, and now he was going off to chase bank robbers? "How long will you be gone?"

"I hope to be back in a week, maybe two, but if they're as good as everyone seems to think then it might be longer."

Elizabeth couldn't help it: her thoughts immediately went back to that day in the school house when Jack had told her that he'd been assigned to the Northern Territories, and the assignment had no end date. She was angry and afraid by turns. Every time; every time she thought she was on solid ground something like this happened, and she was forced right back into a place of terror.

Not this time, Elizabeth told herself.

Nathan - steady, observant Nathan with those eyes that saw too much - stepped around the desk and approached her. "I would have denied the assignment," he said softly, "but I think right now we could all use some time, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth took one breath, and then another. She watched Nathan's face, so expressive to those who knew what to look for, and thought to herself again: Not this time.

"What about Allie?" She was proud that her voice only trembled a little.

"She's going to stay with my mother for a while, and then she'll come back here and stay with Opal and her mom."

Another knife to the gut. "You're both leaving?"

Nathan hesitated. He didn't want to hurt her, but not telling her the truth was what had gotten them here in the first place. "She needs some time too, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth wanted to cry. She was going to cry, if she didn't breathe quietly through her mouth and force the tears away. Nathan hadn't said it, but Elizabeth understood: she had injured Nathan and Allie both, and though Nathan had weathered her storm gracefully, Allie was still a child. A child that Elizabeth loved, and had unintentionally wounded. A child that, when Elizabeth was honest with herself, had taken to avoiding her whenever she could.

How had they ended up here? She had been so determined to ignore what she knew was happening - to deny Nathan any further access to her heart whilst simultaneously attempting to uproot the hold he had already had there - that she had let these missteps and misunderstandings carry them all the way to this moment. A moment when Nathan had decided that it was better for him and Allie to leave Hope Valley, even temporarily, to repair the injuries that Elizabeth had been unwilling to see.

Maybe it's for the best, Elizabeth told herself. Rosemary had told her to take the time to figure out what she really wanted and then she'd know how to move forward from there - and that the people who loved her would wait.

But this didn't feel like it was for the best; it felt like a loss, like a great gaping hole had suddenly been punched into Elizabeth's life.

And Elizabeth knew, just like she had known that day in the trees: she was in love with Nathan. More than the fear and misunderstandings, the confusion and missteps; more than she had been able to admit even to herself. She loved him, and now he was leaving, and she felt trapped by all the chances that they'd missed. How could she tell him now, when he'd just told her that he needed time? That they all needed time, and hadn't that been exactly what she'd asked Lucas for?

I am going to need us to take things slowly, Elizabeth had told Lucas. But standing in the Mountie office with Nathan so close to her, Elizabeth wanted to do the exact opposite. She wanted more time with him, not without him.

But he had given her everything she'd asked for: his patience, his understanding and grace and compassion ... the least she could do was give him this, when he'd asked so little of her in return.

"When do you leave?"

It felt like ages since either of them had spoken last. They'd simply stood in the silence of the office while the world spun outside the door, and Elizabeth understood that Nathan had been giving her time to process what he'd told her.

The moment she stepped out that door Elizabeth didn't know if there was a force on earth that could keep her from crying.

"First thing tomorrow."

Elizabeth forced herself to meet his eyes. Clear, and bright, and so very blue as they watched her. She could feel the tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. She ignored them and breathed deeply. "Thank you for telling me."

Nathan smiled. Just a little smile, weary but warm in the way his smiles always were when he was looking at her.

Elizabeth turned to leave. She needed fresh air and the physical exertion of walking, of moving against the tide that kept trying to wash away her control.

"Elizabeth?"

She had her hand on the doorknob, but she half-turned to look at him in answer. "For what it's worth, I think love is always worth fighting for."

He could not have stunned her more if he'd actively tried. Her own words given back to her weeks later by someone who could have no way of knowing that she'd uttered them. In the days to come, Elizabeth would wonder more than once what had possessed him to say that.

There was nothing she could do to contain the tears then. "Be safe, Nathan," she managed to say, and then she disappeared before she could make a fool of herself again.

Nathan watched her go and prayed that they next time they met, they would finally have learned how to stop hurting each other.