Hiraeth

by fandm-writer

In the wake of the impending Crisis, Caitlin vanishes alongside Barry. Now, trapped in an utterly fabricated and eerily perfect reality, the pair must learn to live together and adjust to their new life in the Speed Force, as well as the ramifications of what lay beyond.

3. Part III

Description: Between house renovations, new neighbors, and budding feelings to keep hidden away, Barry and Caitlin still have a lot of adjusting to do. However, fate might just have a few more obstacles to throw their way...

---

If asked, Barry Allen wasn't sure he could pinpoint the exact moment his heart had ceased to belong to his childhood crush. He wasn't sure he could tell you exactly when it had instead been entrusted to his...his...

What was she? Who was she to him exactly?

She was so many things, she had filled so many roles in his life over the years, occupied so many corners of his heart.

His doctor.

His teammate.

His friend.

His best friend.

The person he shared a home with.

Caitlin.

Cait.

His Cait.

It had happened so slowly, so quietly, that he almost hadn't noticed. Or maybe he had always known, maybe his heart had always belonged to her and he just hadn't been aware of it. Until he was.

A part of him wondered if maybe he hadn't had an inkling before, a glimpse of the truth in those quiet (and not so quiet) moments that comprised the mural of their lives.

Like when she smiled at him (or frowned at him) or when they did their chores together in the mornings. Or even when they had shared a crappy beige motel room and she had promised him that the hollow ache in his chest wouldn't consume him forever.

Yet, even then, even through all that, even through trials and tribulations and five years spent together, he was still so dense. So oblivious to his own feelings, so naive to how irrevocably attached he was to her. He hadn't realized it would be as hard as it was, hadn't thought returning to their own world would feel so much like saying goodbye.

It hadn't hit him, hadn't truly hit him, until they were standing face to face in the lab and she told him that she would be staying at Cisco's for a while. It was such a small thing, such a casual exchange, but for some reason, the force of it all slammed into Barry like a hurricane.

Would this be their lives now? Would he not wake up to her lovely face every morning? Would they go back to just being good friends and co-workers? Were they ever anything more than that? Did he want them to be?

It was then that it all finally began to click, a thousand little moments falling into place and forming a line straight to his heart.

A smile.

A hug.

A promise to stay with her.

A hospital bed and a syringe that saved his life.

An assurance that everything was okay.

A touch.

An argument.

A deathly cold kiss that he somehow never wanted to end.

A Crisis.

A house.

A kiss on the cheek.

A smile in the morning and a sleepy yawn at night.

He loved her.

He loved her.

He really loved her, and as they laid in the darkness of Cisco's spare room, he decided that he didn't ever want to be parted from her. He never wanted to stop sharing his life with her, he never wanted to stop holding her, and he never wanted to stop being dragged from his peaceful slumber by her obnoxiously loud alarm clock.

He couldn't help but wonder if she felt that way too. Did she love him like he loved her? Or did she even think of him that way? There were moments where he could have sworn that she did. Glimpses of something a little too deep for just friendship.

But then again, it wouldn't be the first time he had misread a situation or falsely assumed the depth of someone's feelings matched his own. The whole lifelong mess with Iris was proof of that. Maybe it was just his wishful imagination. Maybe he was an idiot. A hopeless, lovesick idiot.

Either way, he was a lovesick idiot with a house to renovate.

It took a better part of two weeks to get everything cleaned up and prepped for the move-in, their work consisting mostly of repairing busted water pipes and fixing wonky circuit breakers. Needless to say, he and Caitlin spent most of their after-work hours either at the hardware store, knee-deep in frayed wires, or with their heads buried under various sinks.

Several more days passed before the subject arose and they told the rest of the team. It was an accident.

It had started as a pretty routine afternoon conversation. Barry had helped Ralph catch a meta smuggler and Caitlin had tagged along to run surveillance with Cisco. They had all been hanging around the lab and eating lunch afterward, Barry sharing stories from their time in the Speed Force.

The conversation eventually spiraled into Barry teasing Caitlin about their various Christmas-time shenanigans over the years, which in turn forced her to tease him right back about that time he screamed because she taped the Elf On The Shelf to the ceiling above his bed.

They had become a little lost in their own world until Cisco had rolled his eyes and jokingly mumbled the words "get a room you two," before planting himself behind the large semi-circle desk.

"Actually, we got a house," the words tumbled from Barry's lips without being fully processed by his brain.

Harry made a strange face while Cisco's eyes went comedically wide. Ralph choked on his burrito in the background and began hacking violently. His loud coughs filled the cortex for a few moments before he finally reached an elastic arm around and slapped himself on the back.

"I'm sorry what?" Ralph blurted out as soon as his airways were clear.

"Wait wait, that came out wrong!" Barry hastily corrected. "What I meant was we found a place to stay. Together. But separately. Like in the Speed Force. Well, exactly like in the Speed Force, it's even the same house and everything, I mean I didn't think it existed but turns out it actually does and we should be moved in by next week. It's kind of a fixer-upper but I think it will be really nice when we're done and you guys should really come and see it, that would be really nice and I think we're all just really excited—"

Barry soon cut himself off by promptly shoving a taco in his mouth.

All the while, Caitlin sat mortified, watching the train wreck unfold before her eyes as she did her best to hide behind her bowl of nachos. The others stared in stunned silence for a moment or two, blinking dumbly. Caitlin cleared her throat, "we'll be roommates again," she forced out in some vain attempts to run non-existent damage control.

"Oooooh" Cisco and Harry said simultaneously in a thoughtful sort of way.

"Roommates," Harry threw a glance at the other man.

"Roommates," Cisco nodded in affirmation, as though it truly explained everything.

All parties (except for maybe Cisco and Harry) were left confused by the exchange, but the conversation flowed on naturally regardless.

Caitlin spent the rest of the day at the lab while Barry left to finish up some CCPD casework. They chatted over the phone as they moved around their respective (and now unfamiliar) workspaces, Caitlin's phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. They mainly talked and planned, a brief debate arising on exactly what shade of blue to paint the living room. They finally agreed on cerulean blue (which truly wasn't that different from powder blue, but Caitlin digressed) and resolved to pick up a quart on their way home.

The next few days were spent in work overalls and covered in paint splatters and smears. Most of their free time was devoted to priming, painting, and touching up walls. Occasionally, there would even be a small hole that needed to be patched before they could even think of coming near it with a tray and a roller. It was on day six of this that Caitlin began to feel the crunch.

She had a presentation to pitch to some of the new STAR Labs management in the morning, a meeting, and they still had two rooms to paint and a shower pipe to fix before they could honestly try to spend the night there. Caitlin could feel the tension in her shoulders building with every stroke of her paintbrush. She didn't like the limbo, the unsurety of it all, she didn't like not quite knowing what came next. Barry seemed to take note of this, of course he did, and try to put on some calming background music.

He turned up the small battery-powered radio they had brought, briefly glancing over at her. She was clad in a tee-shirt and overalls, her hair neatly tucked into a bandana. Though he could feel the low current of anxiety radiating off of her even from across the room, he couldn't help but smile a bit. She stood on her tiptoes, hopping to get her paintbrush to a particularly tricky corner. His lips quirked up involuntarily, the scene before him filling him with warmth and a sense of surreality.

A new song began to drift through the background, and Barry suddenly got an idea. It was a silly one, he supposed, but then again, he had always been happy to be silly if it meant he could put her at ease.

He set his paint roller down and moved to look at Caitlin's turned form.

"Hey, Cait," he called, causing her to pause and glance over her shoulder.

"Dance with me," he said a little dramatically, outstretching his paint-stained fingers.

There was a brief and fleeting smile that ghosted over her lips, but she shook her head. "Come on Barry, we have to get this finished."

He looked at her for a moment more, putting on his best set of puppy dog eyes.

"I'm serious," she added with a grimace, turning back to the wall she had been working on. "We don't have time."

Barry kept his gaze steady for a moment longer, watching the way her brow creased. The way her lips frowned and her posture continued to ratchet tighter with every new movement.

He sighed. "Alright, I guess I'll just dance by myself," he announced.

He put one hand up in the air, and another around a phantom waist and began making circles around the kitchen.

Caitlin briefly peered back at him, only to roll her eyes immediately after.

It continued for nearly a minute until Barry made a wide and sweeping spin around the room only to stop in his tracks as he came face to face with her.

She wore a mildly disapproving look, her arms tightly crossed over her chest. She didn't say anything, and Barry took that as his cue to tentatively test the waters. He reached for her hand, eventually finding it amidst the tangle of her arms. He gently worked it free and flattened his palm into hers. He held it there for a moment before slowly intertwining their fingers. Something in her melted after that. Her posture eased as she brought her hand up to his shoulder.

"Ophelia" by The Lumineers traveled quietly through the air while Barry trailed his arm around her waist, inching her body just a bit closer. A quiet sigh finally escaped her lips and Caitlin let her head unceremoniously fall forward against his chest. Her feet shambled even closer until she was practically flush against him, her head tucked just below his neck.

They made small and measured circles around the room, swaying slowly to the rhythm. Their feet shuffled along the hardwood floors, the coils in Caitlin's muscles steadily unwinding as the melody of the music played on.

They were both quiet for several long moments, neither speaking as they allowed the music to carry them. Caitlin closed her eyes at some point, her arms wrapping around his torso in a way that resembled more of a hug than anything. Barry began to gently massage her back and shoulders as he held her, feeling as the tension steadily ebbed away.

Eventually, she looked up at him, a soft yet tired look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she spoke quietly, "I guess I'm just...still adjusting. Things are real here. There are real consequences again and I'm just afraid of messing up."

"You don't have to be sorry," he shook his head, gazing down into her amber eyes. "You're stressed. I get it."

Caitlin sighed once more, laying her head against his shoulder and holding him tighter.

"Things were so much easier in the Speed Force," she admitted, her words a low cadence and her warm breath tickling his neck. "I mean sure, it wasn't the same, and I missed being here but..." she trailed off.

"It had its charms," Barry added, producing a quiet snort from the body that was tucked in his arms.

"That's one way to put it," Caitlin replied, a soft smile finding its way to her lips.

"I think it was mostly the people," Barry mused as they continued to sway along, his hands absently making soothing lines along her shoulder and arm.

"True," she agreed, scrunching her nose just a bit. "They were pretty creepy."

"The other stuff was nice though," he continued, glancing down at her. "It was calm. Comfortable. Peaceful even."

Caitlin hummed in agreement, eyes closed.

"It can be like that here too, ya know," Barry told her, causing her eyelids to flutter back open.

"Can it?" There was doubt and sadness in the way she spoke.

He furrowed his brow. "Of course it can." He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself or her.

"And if you'll recall, the Speed Force didn't exactly start out that way. I mean we were pretty freaked out there at first..." Barry reminded, and Caitlin actually laughed.

"I remember." She smiled, a far-away look in her eyes. "We practically ran away every time we heard someone coming down the cortex halls."

"We did," Barry chuckled, the low vibration echoing through her. "But you know what?" He added in a hopeful sort of way. "We adjusted. We got settled. We built a nice little corner for ourselves. We can do that here too. Maybe an even better corner because we don't actually have to hide from all our friends and family. I mean we can, but we don't have to."

Another low and breathy laugh bubbled past her throat, and Barry couldn't help but feel accomplished. He had always loved making her laugh.

"I think...I think this place exists for a reason," he continued, briefly glancing around at the kitchen, the window above the sink backlit by the evening darkness. "I think the Speed Force chose it. I think it wanted to show us what life could be."

"You really think so?" Caitlin remained on his shoulder, her breaths steady and calm.

Barry paused for a beat, simply staring into her eyes, searching. It felt serene.

"I know so," he assured, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

---

As promised, everything did indeed turn out alright. (Caitlin wasn't sure if she was relieved or annoyed that Barry had been right.) The presentation went off without a hitch and the shower pipe got fixed before the week was over.

They began the steady process of moving in soon after. Sure, there were still bumps along the way. Things that needed to be fixed, walls that needed to be caulked. and floor tiles that needed replaced. There were a few messed-up door frames and a leaky roof that would need reshingled. But all those could be done as they went, it was a slow process, but a process nonetheless. It would come with time and just a bit of elbow grease. Until then, they could start making it their own.

They started by retrieving some of their things from storage. (Thanks to Cisco, they both had a storage room dedicated to them. He had insisted on saving their things.) It wasn't much, just whatever had been left over from their respective resold living spaces, but it was enough to add a comfortable and familiar flair.

There was a lot they still needed, but it was a start. Not unlike their early days in the Speed Force, they began the process of meshing their styles and finding what was just right. It fell together much easier this time, much more cohesively. They had had five years to practice, after all, and by this point their tastes were starting to bleed over into one and other. That was the hazard of spending so much time together, Caitlin supposed, after a while people start to act alike. Or perhaps that was a phenomenon that had always applied to them.

They had been in the middle of decorating the living room when the doorbell rang. They both jumped like startled cats, only then realizing how rare it had actually been for it to ring in the Speed Force. They shared a brief, wordless glance before putting down what was in their hands and making their way to the door. Caitlin felt a chill preemptively sweep over her body.

With no small amount of hesitation, Barry reached for the knob and turned it. With their shoulders side by side and their minds (and hearts) racing, they braced themselves for an attack they were at least half sure was imminent.

The door swung open ominously and—

What they found was not a Time Wraith, or a Metahuman, or a giant bipedal bear looking for lukewarm porridge. Instead, it was...it was a middle-aged woman.

"Hi there!" She greeted brightly, a glass baking dish in hand.

Barry and Caitlin stood in stunned silence, unsure of how to answer as the rush of adrenaline slowly faded away.

"I'm Susan, I live next door," the dark-haired woman added, nodding her head to the left.

"Oh," Barry only said, trying to force his brain to come up with a better reply.

They had neighbors now? How was that supposed to work? When was the last time either of them even had a neighbor?

"I—I'm Caitlin," Caitlin eventually forced out, offering her hand. "This is Barry," she introduced, bringing her other arm up around his back.

"Nice to meetcha," Susan replied, shaking both their hands enthusiastically. "Anywho, I just noticed you guys moving in and I thought I'd bring a housewarming gift." She lifted the pan in her hands. "It's my grandma's famous casserole."

"Oh. Thank you," Caitlin's voice carried a note of bewilderment as she took the pan.

"Goodness, it's been so long since anyone's moved in here. I thought it would never get sold," Susan rattled on in a friendly way. "Well, anyway, I thought you could use some extra meals. I remember when Steve and I moved into our first place. We struggled a lot the first year just trying to get our bearings. Since then we always try to help out any of the young couples in our area."

Both their heads snapped up at that. "We aren't a couple," the words tumbled from their lips simultaneously.

"Oh?" Susan seemed surprised, her eyebrows shooting up.

"We're just friends," Caitlin quickly added.

"Roommates," Barry supplied helpfully, only to shrug defensively when that earned him an odd look from Caitlin.

Susan watched them carefully and only

nodded, an unreadable expression on her features. "Gotcha, I'll remember that," she said with a wink. "Still, if you ever need anything don't hesitate to come over. My husband and I would be happy to help."

"I better be going now, see ya later, neighbors." Susan gave a wave before excusing herself, leaving a thoroughly befuddled Barry and Caitlin standing in the doorway, still-warm casserole in hand. They let the door swing closed after her, lingering silently for a moment before making their way to the kitchen.

"I can't believe she thought we were a couple," Caitlin only shook her head, her heartbeat still hammering in her ears.

Barry would be lying if he said something in him didn't sink.

"Was it really such a bad thought? Would it be so wrong if we were?"

Instead of saying what he wished he could, he let out a nervous and dismissive chuckle. "I know right. It's crazy."

Something in Caitlin's posture shifted, and for a split second, she simply froze. It was a mere fleeting glimpse and she was soon in motion again, setting the casserole down on the kitchen island with a low clank. "Exactly, I think it's pretty obvious we're just good friends," she affirmed.

"The best," Barry added, eyes lingering on her as she focused on the pan, carefully peeling back the tinfoil.

His chest felt like a hollow pit. Like an endless drop over an abyss.

After a brief discourse on whether or not it was poisoned, Caitlin and Barry took a seat at the island and dug in. It was filling and hearty and maybe not quite deserving of the title 'famous,' but it was a warm lunch nonetheless.

Together, they shared their first meal of their newly repainted kitchen in their new (old) house. And though neither of them voiced it, there were both grateful to be able to share that moment, despite the lingering ache that silently clung to them both.

---

The days that followed were perhaps the most trying of the entire renovation. Turns out, fixing a hot water heater was a dream compared to the dismal task of setting up and decorating their own bedrooms.

Sharing a room was no longer...a necessity. Caitlin hadn't had a single nightmare since she had been back (neither had Barry for that matter). There was no logical reason why they couldn't go back to the rooms they had initially claimed in the Speed Force. There was no reason why Caitlin should continue to crowd somebody who had been kind enough to humor her for the past five years. Barry had seemed to agree for a similar reason. He said he wanted her to be able to have some freedom and privacy, and though Caitlin didn't truly want it, she agreed regardless.

It was settled after that and Caitlin started moving her things into the room just down the hall from Barry's. There were other rooms she could have picked, rooms just a bit closer or further (for some reason, this version of the house had a few more rooms than the one in the Speed Force) but she decided on her original choice, hoping the familiarity would put her at ease.

The first few nights were a nightmare. Well, not literally, but they were unpleasant to say the least. The Speed Force had left her spoiled, in a way. The room felt...wrong, empty, cold, devoid of the bright warm presence she had grown so accustomed to.

As if it wasn't torturous and maddening enough, it was made worse by the fact that she could still see his room just beyond her own doorway. It was a cruel thing, knowing that the key to a peaceful sleep was mere walking distance away. A few strides and she would be there. He would be there...

Caitlin got up and closed her door.

She didn't sleep at all the first night and fared only slightly better the next. She told herself she could manage. She wasn't nearly as inexplicably exhausted as she had been when she first attempted it all those years ago. No, there was no cosmic force unknowingly zapping the energy from her body, it was just her...her and her own foolish weakness.

However, she was determined not to be weak this time around. She started drinking an extra coffee at lunch and taking naps in the med bay in the afternoon. (And if she noticed Barry upping his caffeine intake, she told herself it was entirely coincidental).

It went on that way for the first week and a half of their new move-in. Caitlin scraping by on whatever sleep she could manage and pretending not to notice the dark circles under Barry's eyes. It was on the final night of this routine that Caitlin collapsed into her bed after retiring for the evening, feeling herself begin to drift the moment her head hit the pillow.

The sleepless nights were starting to catch up with her and Caitlin couldn't decide if she was grateful for it or not. On one hand, her current state of exhaustion might finally grant her some much-needed sleep. Yet, on the flip side, there was a part of her that knew she would simply be up again in a few hours, eyes bloodshot as she stared at the dark ceiling, trying in vain to will her body and mind to relax enough to drift back off.

Caitlin felt the dark and comforting waves of unconsciousness envelop her, sweeping her away into a dreamless sleep. They were heavy and surprisingly steady this time around, allowing her to drift slowly along their currents. When Caitlin next opened her eyes, it was to the same dark ceiling she had grown accustomed to. There was something different this time though, something less abyssal and cold. Still, there was a restlessness thrumming beneath her skin.

Caitlin sighed and threw off her covers, hoping a cup of tea might lull her back to sleep. She swung her legs off the edge of the bed only to gasp and pull back as her toes collided with something warm and solid. She pulled her knees up to her chest and peered down at the floor, her eyes widening a little at what she saw.

None other than Barry Allen lay next to her bed, still fast asleep in a makeshift nest of blankets and pillows he had constructed sometime in the night. Something in Caitlin melted as she looked down at his sleeping form, the floor looking far more welcoming than her bed did at the moment. A smile found its way to her lips and she shook her head, remembering why she loved him so much.

After a few moments, Caitlin sighed quietly and finally gave in, feeling a little good about the fact that he had come to her this time. It made her feel better somehow, knowing that she was wanted and missed.

Silently, Caitlin slipped off her bed and onto the semi-cold floor. She gingerly slid under the blankets next to him, her back turned. Despite her careful movements, he still stirred and she immediately froze in place, her whole body tensing in anticipation. He didn't fully wake up, instead, he instinctively put his arms around her. He sleepily tucked her into his chest, his arms wrapping her in a blanket of warmth. She smiled softly, her hands coming up to hold his.

She had missed this.

Caitlin could feel the floor through the thin cot of blankets, yet somehow it was still more comfortable than her bed had been all week. Content and warm, she snuggled into her little nook, allowing the peaceful siren song of sleep to slowly carry her away.

As she drifted, she faintly wondered what the morning would look like. Would he still be there? Would she wake up to find that this was all a dream? Was this just a one-time exception and would they be back to the same arrangement the next night?

Caitlin didn't know, but she resolved to talk to him about it in the morning. Until then, she was perfectly happy to finally enjoy a peaceful night's sleep.

---

With their sleeping arrangements back to normal, it didn't take long for Barry and Caitlin to fall back into old habits, particularly when it came to their house. Though fall was fast approaching, they moved onto the backyard, clearing it out and prepping it for the spring and summer months.

They planned a garden and a nice sitting area and barbecues to invite friends and family to. They would even string up lights and build a fire pit to help create a cozy atmosphere. Then of course there was the matter of Barry's hammock, which he hadn't forgotten about and was already looking for the best spot to set up. (Not that Caitlin could complain, in the Speed Force she had often snuck out to take naps in it herself.)

Within a few weeks, the chill of autumn began to set in, coating their street and the mostly empty backyard in layers of prismatic leaves. Which was fine, because they had lots of other things that kept them busy. They had a staircase to fix and, apparently, Halloween costumes to plan.

Barry had brought it up one morning at breakfast, telling Caitlin he had promised Joe and Cecile he would take Jenna trick-or-treating. Caitlin had smiled at that, telling him she thought it was a wonderful idea. She knew how hard he had been trying to make up for lost time with his littlest adopted sister.

"So what should we go as?" He inquired around a mouthful of French toast.

"You're chaperoning, you don't technically have to dress up," Caitlin answered from where she sat, still pajama-clad, across from him.

The speedster gaped in horror at that, as though Caitlin had just said some atrocious swear word.

"Of course we do, where would be the fun if we didn't?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes and shook her head, a good-natured smile on her lips the whole time. "You really missed dressing up in the red suit every day, didn't you?" She teased and he made a face, looking like a disgruntled child.

"I think you should be talking to Joe and Cecile and Jenna about this. That way you guys can coordinate," Caitlin added, taking a sip of her orange juice and picking up the morning newspaper to skim the headlines.

"Oh, I know what Jenna is. She's going to be a bumblebee. I was talking about us," he clarified.

Caitlin set the paper back down and looked up at him, blinking dumbly. "Us?"

"Yeah. You and me," he spoke in an easy sort of way, reaching across the table and stealing a drink of her juice. "I thought maybe we could do a theme?"

"Oh no," Caitlin immediately began to protest, shaking her head.

"Oh yes," Barry met her full force, a cheeky smile slowly finding its way to his face.

"I have work," she simply said while taking her glass back, as though it closed the matter.

"No, you don't," Barry replied intuitively, crossing his arms.

"How could you possibly know that?" She narrowed her eyes, leaning towards him across the table.

"I talk to your boss every day," his tone grew low as he too leaned forward.

Caitlin gaped in only half-serious offense. "You went over my head!"

"First of all, that's kinda not hard," he teased, "I mean you are pretty short and—"

Barry was cut short by a newspaper being hurled at his head that he only narrowly managed to dodge.

"Secondly," he continued, pointedly picking up the paper off the floor, "I didn't have to talk to Cisco. I know you, Cait. We've only been back a couple of months and you've already been driving yourself into the ground at the Lab."

"I have not," Caitlin's voice came out high pitched and squeaky, causing Barry to quirk an eyebrow. "I just have five years of work to catch up on, that's all."

Barry hummed, unconvinced. "That's what a workaholic would say."

"I am not!" She fiercely denied but her voice once again betrayed her.

Barry knew he probably shouldn't, but he couldn't help but grin. She could be quite adorable when she was disgruntled.

"Okay then. Prove it," Barry challenged. "Come trick-or-treating with me."

Caitlin opened her mouth to argue some more but immediately closed it again, realizing she would only prove his point. She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair with a huff, the exhale of air sending her loose strands of hair flying.

"Fine," she conceded after a pause. "But only if we go as the Flash and Killer Frost," she added in a joking sort of way, as if she hoped that would be a dealbreaker.

"Works for me," he shrugged with a smirk. "I think I'd make a lovely Killer Frost," he spoke casually as he opened her discarded newspaper and pulled the pages taught.

A giggle escaped Caitlin as her hand came up to cover her lips. She tilted her head to the side as he speed-read the articles, almost as if she was trying to imagine it.

"You don't have the legs for the old suit," she said after a moment, holding back a grin.

Barry gasped out loud. "You take that back!" He protested as Caitlin spiraled into a fit of full-fledged laughter, her arms wrapped around her stomach as she leaned over the table.

Barry knew then that this was either going to be his best or worst idea to date.

They began crafting their suits the next day, each putting their own spin on their respective alter egos. Barry hadn't realized it would be as fun as it was. He decided to call his version Jack Frost, while Caitlin went by Lady Flash. His suit consisted of a long suede overcoat with blue accents and black leather pants with a snowflake belt buckle. He got a bleached-blond wig and a plastic icicle to tie it all together.

Caitlin had buried her face in her hands as he waltzed around their living room, trying to hide both her laughter and a blush.

After he had thoroughly shown his costume off, it was Caitlin's turn to come out in her own Flash suit. She strode into the room and did a sweeping twirl and Barry was suddenly a light-headed and began to regret his entire existence. Yet, he had no one to blame but himself, he had egged her on and instigated this idea in the first place. Any suffering he endured because of it was entirely self-inflicted.

She would have been an amazing Flash.

It was silly, he supposed. It wasn't as if her suit was all that different from Jessie's or any other speedster for that matter. It was a two-piece consisting of a leather top and pants with gloves and a Flash symbol sewn into the chest. Like so many others, it was colored red and gold with lightning bolts snaking down the legs. Completely normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing to be stunned or mesmerized about. And yet...

Maybe it was the cut of the pants with the boots. The ones that almost reminded him of her Killer Frost ones. Or the way her stomach peeked out just a bit when she reached up because the top didn't quite meet the pants perfectly. Or perhaps it was the high ponytail she wore or the way the mask framed her lovely face or even the excited glowing smile she had as she spun around in front of him—

"Uh...Barry?" Caitlin's voice broke into his perception and left him startled.

He suddenly found himself blinking rapidly as he came back to himself.

"What do you think?" She spread her arms a bit to show him as though she didn't already have his full attention. "You're the original Flash, after all. How do you rate it? Too cheesy?" She scrunched her nose a little at the last part and he suddenly wanted to plant a kiss there.

It was then that Barry realized how quiet he'd been and he scrambled to reply, choking on his words in the process. "NO. No. I—I think it looks perfect! Personally. I mean. Seriously. It's... amazing. You'd make a great speedster. Honestly, you should be out there every day, not me."

Caitlin eyed him skeptically. "Well, thank you, but it's really not all that impressive. I got it on sale from eBay. It's a bit hokey but I guess that's okay for Halloween right?"

Barry continued to grapple for words. For the ones he could say and the ones he shouldn't. Had he ever told her how stunning she was? How even before he had fully realized how he felt, she had a way of leaving him breathless? He should tell her more often. Oh wait no he shouldn't. Absolutely NOT. But on the other hand, she should know...

Dammit. He was so confused. So besotted. Why did he have to be this way?

"Definitely," Barry managed to force out one single word, his brain still short-circuiting as sirens and red lights flashed behind his skull.

Thankfully, Caitlin didn't seem to notice too much and just laughed at the absurdity of it all, looking down at her costume one last time.

"Look at us. Quite the pair," she shook her head and Barry found himself automatically agreeing.

Eventually, she remembered they needed to pick up some things for dinner and bounded off to go change, a spring in her step.

Barry watched her as she left, feeling utterly miserable and regretting all his previous life choices.

Was this going to be a problem?

October 31st came soon enough, and Barry discovered that it was actually the least of their worries.

They both got dressed in their costumes and left the house together, waving at Susan (who was dressed as Frankenstein's bride) as they went. They decided to drop by the lab one last time before they went to pick up Jenna, just to make sure everything was going smoothly.

Cisco had unveiled a new piece of tech earlier that month, one that was designed with the Halloween season in mind. It was a scanner, of sorts, an all-in-one device designed specifically to test food. So far, it had proved effective in detecting metal, drugs, and inedible substances alike. And for tonight, the prototypes were open to the public, anyone who wanted to come and test their candy could, and were even encouraged to do so.

If all went well, this would become an annual event and they could have one in nearly every hospital by next year.

Despite the grim reason for its existence, the temporarily public wing of the lab was eye-catching and festive. It was decked out with fake cobwebs and plastic bats and pumpkins of all sizes. They were even bowls of cartoonishly fake eyeballs and glow-in-the-dark spiders and ghosts the children could take if they wanted.

The room was abuzz as Caitlin and Barry entered, temporarily linking arms to stay together in the crowd. There was a line all the way to the door, the sounds of overlapping voices and the chatter of excited children filtering through the background.

Caitlin felt something swell in her chest as they made their way through the room. It was admiration and pride. A glimpse of what the building had once been before the Particle Accelerator explosion. This was what STAR Labs was supposed to be. It was supposed to be a beacon. A place built to help people.

There were lots of ways to be a hero, and Caitlin knew that what Cisco was doing was one of those ways.

Despite the unexpected volume, the lines moved quickly, several small children bounding off happily with their candy and their accompanying adults in tow. For the candy that wasn't cleared, there was a small CCPD team on standby, ready to collect it and take it back for forensic analysis. Caitlin felt a pit form in her stomach as she realized that was likely how Barry would be spending his workweek.

They soon caught sight of Cisco, he was towards the far end of the room, having a word with one of the CCPD agents. Cynthia wasn't far off and Caitlin smiled a little once she realized what their costumes were. They were dressed as Gomez and Morticia. She shook her head, wondering how Cisco managed to rope his wife into that one. And yet, there was a part of her that couldn't help but think all they were missing was their own little Wednesday.

Cisco's gaze drifted over to them after a beat and he lit up, fake mustache and all. He gave the CCPD agent a quick pat on the shoulder before excusing himself and making his way towards his friends. He slowed a bit once he got closer and approached them with an incredulous yet amused expression as he took in their costume choices. Barry was grinning from ear to ear.

"What do you think?" The speedster asked as he came within earshot. "They call me Jack Frost," he added, holding up his icicle and doing his best to strike a pose while Caitlin covered her face, her cheeks almost the same shade as her scarlet gloves.

Cisco snorted. "I think this is why I design the suits around here."

"Pffft what? I think it looks good," Barry's voice was suddenly high pitched and only mildly offended as he looked down at himself.

"You look like—" Cisco paused to contemplate "—Party City Billy Idol."

Caitlin laughed out loud while Barry gaped. Though she knew he couldn't be too offended because it had originally been just that. He had just added his own modifications.

"And what about you?" Cisco turned to Caitlin, crossing his arms and still wearing an amused smile.

"Lady Flash," Caitlin offered her hand and Cisco shook it. "It was his idea," she quickly leaned forward and snuck in, her voice a low whisper.

"Was not!" Barry interjected, voice sounding a bit like a preschooler who had just been tattled on by a classmate. "You were the one that said—"

Cisco chuckled quietly as he watched them both descend into bickering, moments like those reminding him of just how much he had missed them. Just how empty the lab had really felt.

"Hey, I'm just glad for the switch-up, there's always so many couples costumes for the Flash and Killer Frost every year," Cisco added offhandedly.

"There's WHAT?" Barry and Caitlin abruptly stopped arguing, heads snapping to him instead.

Cisco paused momentarily, taken back by the sudden shift in attention.

"I was just saying it's nice to have some variety—"

"No wait wait wait, back up back up," Caitlin and Barry began to speak simultaneously, their voices overlapping.

"You said couples," Barry cut in.

"Yeeeah, about that," Cisco laughed nervously, a sheepish look on his face. "I guess I probably should've warned you before, but..." he trailed off.

"But," Caitlin prompted.

"You know how you both vanished around the same time?"

"Yes?" Barry drawled out incredulously, a hesitation in his voice.

"So I mean we didn't want people to think you were dead dead so nobody ever really said anything, just that you vanished after Crisis and that led to people drawing their own conclusions. Which in hindsight might have been a mistake because, uh, well, turns out the most popular one was that—" Cisco grimaced, pausing for a painfully long second as he searched for words.

"yougotmarriedandmovedtothecountry" the words left Cisco's mouth as though he were an auctioneer selling off the Mona Lisa itself. He even added a cough to further obscure his voice.

"I'm sorry what?" Eyes wide, Caitlin took an almost stern step forward, panic rising in Cisco's chest.

"Look it's not my fault!" Cisco put his hands up, his words a few octaves too high. "People just ASSUMED and then the next thing I knew there was fan fiction and a hashtag and suddenly everybody was wearing costumes and saying you were 'goals' honestly I had nothing to do—"

"Wait, there's fan fiction?" Barry's eyebrows shot up.

Caitlin crossed her arms, "Barry that isn't the point—" she suddenly stopped short, looking back to Cisco "I'm sorry, there's FAN FICTION??"

"Look to be fair, there was fan fiction before, it was just mostly reader insert and it wasn't very accurate—" Cisco tried to rationalize but only succeeded in making them look even more like panicked deer in semi-truck headlights.

"You know what, just forget it. It's fiiine. It's fine," he said firmly. "Nobody reads that stuff anyway. There's only like two or three. It's fine," he waved it off as casually as he could.

"Don't go looking for it!" He added abruptly and with all gravity, pointing a finger at both of them.

Before they could reply, Cynthia joined their group and the conversation soon shifted.

"Look at you!" She said as she greeted Caitlin, giving her arm a friendly squeeze. "Female Flash right?"

"Yes," Caitlin nodded, her high ponytail bouncing as she did.

"Very badass," the other woman winked and Caitlin couldn't help but smile a bit at the seal of approval.

"And your..." Cynthia turned to Barry only to stop short.

She struggled with the answer for a few moments more, snapping her fingers as she fished it from the depths of her mind.

"Oh, I know! That Spike guy from the vampire slayer show Cisco made me watch."

A spluttering and poorly repressed giggle of delight forced its way out of Cisco's lungs.

Barry threw his gaze skyward. "You've got to be kidding me," he lamented under his breath.

"That is, exactly who he is. Thank you," Cisco emphasized mischievously, putting an arm around her.

Cynthia chuckled a bit and leaned into his embrace, reaching up to hold his hand.

"Oh, I almost forgot, one of the detectives said there are some kids in line asking if they can interview you for their school news report," she reminded, tapping the front of his striped suit with her long crimson nails.

"Moi?" Cisco was aghast while Cynthia just rolled her eyes.

"Come with, cara mia?" He offered his hand, keeping the dramatic act up.

"Always, cavaliere mio," she ran a nail along his jaw.

After a moment they both laughed at themselves and linked hands.

"See you guys later," Cynthia waved as they turned to walk away, her black dress trailing the floor.

"You crazy kids have fun out there!" Cisco called, backing away. "And hey, you be careful with that," he pointed at Barry's icicle, a devious glint in his eyes. "Remember, those vampires out there aren't real."

Barry heaved an unimaginably heavy sigh, knowing that if it hadn't been for the room full of children, he might have actually flipped him the bird.

As they left STAR Labs, Caitlin did her best to push what Cisco had said to the back of her mind. She didn't want to think about it, about what people thought, or about the potential implications of their own costumes.

They soon picked up Jenna and their night of candy collecting began. They went door to door and Barry repeatedly got mistaken for everything from anime characters to gender-bent goth Elsa.

Caitlin wanted to laugh, she really did, but there was an underlying lump in her throat and a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her nerves ticked up every time she saw another Flash or Killer Frost, or worse, a Flash and a Killer Frost together. There was even one couple who posed and kissed while a friend took a picture.

It felt cruel and unusual, like the universe itself was mocking her. Shaming her even.

She began to sneak candy out of the bag after about an hour, a futile attempt to soothe her anxiety. Barry caught her on the fourth piece, frantically shooing her hand away and stressing under his breath that it wasn't safe for her and they needed to check it at the lab first.

Caitlin managed a smile at that, wondering when exactly he started sounding like her.

Eventually, Jenna's feet got tired and Barry put her on his shoulders for the walk back. She yawned and laid her head on the top of his, her little bee antennas bobbing as they moved.

She said he should come over for a tea party sometime and that "Caity" could come too. Caitlin had beamed at that, feeling a bit mushy on the inside.

Overall, the evening was a success, Jenna had a blast and they delivered her back home with perfectly safe candy and an epic sugar high. She ran into the house, talking to Joe a mile a minute about all the amazing costumes she saw. Barry knew from experience she was going to crash hard and fast and would likely be out like a light in the next thirty minutes. Cecile sighed in a patient sort of way and thanked them for looking after her.

She said goodnight and closed the door, leaving Barry and Caitlin alone on the sidewalk. The sky had long since gone dark and the street was largely empty now, lit by lamps and windows and the occasional storefront.

The pair opted to walk home, the soft sounds of the night and the gentle rustling of autumn leaves drifting through the cool night air. After a few minutes, Barry reached out and offered Caitlin his hand. She took it, the warmth of his palm sliding into place against her own.

Almost instantly, she felt the tight coils in her shoulders loosen, her frayed nerves mending back together little by little. It was such a strange sensation, to have a single person be both the source of her anxiety and also the cure.

Caitlin sighed quietly to herself, glancing up at the evening sky and thinking about how utterly doomed she was.

"So, what do you wanna go as next year?" She asked after a moment, her soft voice gently interrupting the silence.

Barry threw a sidelong glance her way, a smirk finding its way to his lips. "Next year? Did I just hear Dr. Caitlin Snow Ph.D not only agree but suggest that we do something fun?"

"Don't push your luck," she warned half-heartedly, bumping her shoulder into his.

Barry grinned and shook his head. "I don't know, but we do have over 300 days to figure it out. I'm sure we'll come up with something." He laughed quietly and Caitlin couldn't help but join.

For all the anxiety and misinterpretations of Barry's costume, it had been fun.

"With all this talk about costumes, I gotta ask," Barry began after a beat, gently swinging their interlocked hands between them. "Any chance you'll be donning your own Killer Frost suit again soon? I mean it is a little strange that I put on one before you."

Caitlin sighed, but not in a heavy way. It was thoughtful, the hints of a smile ghosting over her lips.

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I'm not afraid or anything. Killer Frost is a part of me, and always will be."

"I'm sensing a 'but' coming," Barry supplied, craning his head to better catch her gaze as they walked.

"But—" she continued. "Central City is so much bigger now, in every sense of the word. There are more problems, more crime, more metas. And there's also more heroes. A lot more."

Barry nodded wordlessly, an understanding clicking into place.

"I know I'll put on the suit again eventually, when I need to. But for now, I think there are other ways I can help."

Caitlin's mind momentarily went back to Cisco, to his invention and all the ways he had expanded STAR Labs in the past 5 years.

"There's lots of ways to be a hero," she echoed her previous thoughts, the first glimmer of an idea taking root in her mind.

"What are you thinking?" Barry asked after a beat, eyes falling on her lips and the teeth she had pressed into them.

Caitlin immediately realized her unconscious tell, laughing a little at herself and the way her mind drifted.

"I'm not really sure yet, I'm still figuring it out. But when I do, you'll probably be the first to know," she assured, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

Barry nodded without another word and leaned into her.

"Hey, you wanna go toilet paper Cisco's house?" He cheekily piped up after a few minutes.

"Bartholomew Henry Allen," Caitlin spoke in a disbelieving and scandalized way.

Barry couldn't help but laugh.

"You're just upset he didn't like your costume," Caitlin pointed out knowingly.

"Okay okay," Barry relented with a dramatic sigh. "Can we at least go get some candy of our own on the way back home?"

"We're grown adults, Barry. Don't you think people might think it's a little weird?"

Barry shrugged easily. "We'll just tell them it's for our kid."

Caitlin's stomach did a somersault, and if it weren't for the fact she was intending to take her feelings to the grave, she would have frozen him right there for abusing the effect he had on her.

Barry nodded his head in the direction of a nearby house and sped up his pace, pulling Caitlin along with him. She followed, their hands still tightly interlocked. For a brief moment, Caitlin felt like some sort of spirited and love-struck teenager.

---

It had been one of those days.

The ones where everything went wrong. The ones where the bad guys were too far ahead and Barry was hopelessly behind. The ones where they can't save everyone, and he has to tell a weeping child that his mother isn't coming home.

Because they were in the real world now. A world where there were no failsafes, no magical Speed Force there to soften the fall. No guarantee of tomorrow.

This one had hit particularly close to home, the only difference was the father had actually murdered the mother. In one swift motion, he had taken a life. He had made himself a widower and a killer, he had all but orphaned his child. Barry had felt sick to his stomach for the rest of the day, images of the crime scene burned into his mind.

Caitlin hadn't even bothered getting in her own bed that night. Instead, she had just crawled into his, pulling him close and allowing him to use her as a pillow, her hands softly carding through his hair as she whispered reassurances.

That was how he had fallen asleep, he recalled as he opened his eyes the next morning, the dimly lit world coming into focus. Faintly, he registered the feeling of Caitlin's form still there somewhere behind him, soft and warm beneath the covers.

He rubbed his eyes and curiously glanced at the clock. The red digital numbers read "10:37" and Barry realized with a start that it had not gone off at any point.

"Cait," he called over his shoulder, not wanting her to be late. His voice was groggy and frantic.

"I know, I know," she answered almost immediately, sounding calm and wide awake. "It's alright, I took the day off," she explained gently.

If Barry hadn't still felt so awful, his first instinct might have been to make a quip about it. But it wasn't, instead, all he felt was relief. Relief and something else unnameable at the realization that she had chosen him over work.

Caitlin stretched just a little and then scooted closer, her arms sliding under his and wrapping around him. Barry settled in as she once again enveloped him, her head resting on top of his own. It wasn't something he had ever really voiced, but being held by her always made him feel content and safe. Somehow, she seemed to know that.

Barry breathed a quiet sigh and reached for the hand that was tucked against his chest, his thumb lightly tracing the smooth surface of her painted nails.

After a few moments, Caitlin spoke, her low and soft voice by his ear. "Feeling any better today?"

Barry made a glum, unintelligible sort of noise. "A little," he admitted after a second. "I still feel kinda nauseous though."

Caitlin nodded in understanding. "I know that you don't feel like it, but you need to try and eat something soon. At least for the sake of your metabolism."

Barry nodded silently, knowing she was right. Another low sigh pushed its way past his throat and he brought her hand up to his lips, wondering what he would ever do without her.

It was then that something seemed to occur to him. Barry furrowed his brow and pulled their linked hands back, examining her sleeve. "Is that my shirt?"

As if startled, she hastily pulled her hand away and hid it behind his back. "No," she simply said, sounding like the cat that ate the canary.

"I'm pretty sure that's my shirt. I got one exactly like it last week," Barry glanced at her over his shoulder, a smile pulling at his lips.

"It must've been a different shirt." She feigned nonchalance and Barry could only chuckle.

"Ok, maybe it is. But that's a big maybe," she added.

Barry smiled to himself and reached back to bring her arm around him again. "It's okay, you can wear whatever clothes of mine you want, Cait."

"Thank you. I'm glad you're okay with it, I've kind of been doing it for the past—" she paused to do the math "—4 years."

"So that's where all my old shirts went," Barry realized with astonishment.

"I'm actually surprised you never noticed," she mused playfully.

He shrugged. "I thought the Speed Force was eating them along with the socks."

They both found themselves laughing after that. Barry suddenly realized his stomach felt better. He closed his eyes and savored the moment, wishing he could stay like that with her forever.

---

Ding dong, the doorbell chimed persistently. It went unanswered.

Ding dong.

It echoed through the quiet house once more, the halls and rooms lit by gentle afternoon light.

Barry furrowed his brow and looked up from the book he had been reading. It rang again and he placed his bookmark in between the folds and set the book back down on his bed.

Ding dong.

"I got it," Barry called to Caitlin who, last he checked, was somewhere in the house as well.

He got up and began to make his way to the door, faintly wondering who it would be on a Saturday.

Cisco maybe?

No, he'd call first then just breach into their living room without warning.

Joe?

Also no, he usually went to the park with Cecile and Jenna on Saturdays.

Ralph? Wally? A time wraith ready to rip off his face? Barry didn't know.

There was another possibility, one that still crept up on him sometimes. A person that, not too long ago, he had barged in on as well. A person whose life he had (desperately) interrupted only to be slapped in the face with the reality that he didn't have a place in it anymore.

He still thought about her occasionally, a faint whisper in the back of his mind. Old habits die hard, he supposed. He would sometimes wonder if she'd ever come back to Central City. What would he do then? What if she showed up at his door one day? What if it was her right now? Barry found that each time the thought visited him, it brought with it more and more dread and anxiety. Since when did that happen? When had seeing Iris again become a nightmare rather than an out-of-reach fantasy he had only dreamt of in the Speed Force?

With his stomach in knots, he rounded the corner, intending to cut through the kitchen to get to the foyer. His mind was so preoccupied, he almost didn't see the legs that were stretched across the floor in front of him. He jumped back as a yelp of surprise escaped him, just barely avoiding stepping on Caitlin.

Barry stared down in bewilderment as she sat barefoot on the kitchen floor, her back to the dishwasher and a binder in her hand.

"Cait, what are you—" Barry began in a befuddled sort of way, only to be interrupted by the doorbell.

She brought her finger to her lips and shushed him, frantically gesturing for him to sit down too.

He glanced up at the picture window above her that opened out just beside the front porch and it suddenly occurred to him what she was doing.

"You know, we don't have to hide from people anymore, Cait. I mean they are actually real and they might get offended—"

"I know but it's Steve," Caitlin emphasized.

"Oh crap," Barry blurted, practically diving down to the floor and taking the spot next to her. He bumped into her shoulder in his haste, an amused and fond smile playing on her lips.

"Now Barry, he's a real person. He might get offended," she feigned chastisement.

Barry only rolled his eyes. "Look, Steve is a great guy, very nice. I appreciate him. I haven't had a neighbor in nearly half a decade. But—" Barry paused to sneak a quick peek over the countertop behind them, "—it's just that he's been trying to corner me all week so he can tell me the story about how he wooed Susan while they were dating."

A look of confusion crossed Caitlin's features, her head tilting to the side and her nose scrunching in a far too adorable way.

"I made the mistake of telling him about how I'd recently been through a 'divorce' at the cookout last week," Barry elaborated, propping his elbow on his leg.

"Ohhhh. Right," Caitlin nodded. "When you two stepped away to talk about the best brands for lawn mowers."

"Yeah, exactly. Well, we got to talking and now he thinks I just need help 'getting back out there,'" Barry used air quotes. "He even tried to invite me on a blind double date with him and Susan."

"Huh, that's strange," Caitlin creased her brow, her teeth tugging at her lip, "Susan tried to invite me on one too."

For reasons Barry refused to think about, his stomach dropped all the way to the floor and every drop of blood in his body rushed to his ears.

"I made the mistake of telling her I hadn't been on a real date in years," Caitlin cracked a faint smile.

"Oh," the sound was all but forced from the speedster's lungs, his whole world splintering and falling into an abyss.

Of course she hadn't been on a date.

She'd been stuck with him.

Just him.

Trapped in a false reality.

With just him.

Him, who had carried feelings for another.

Him, who had often been preoccupied with trying to get back home.

Him, who had been too stupid to realize how he felt, even before Crisis came along.

Him, who had missed his chance long ago.

Did she want to start dating again?

Did she say yes?

Had he missed yet another chance?

Barry found himself speaking again, trying to sound casual despite the desperate side of him that needed to know. "Did you—"

Caitlin shook her head and Barry let out an audible sigh only to frantically cover it up with a cough, tucking his face into the crook of his arm. Mercifully, she didn't seem to notice and continued.

"Even if I wanted to go out on a date, I'm...just not ready yet. I've got a lot I still need to figure out. You know?"

Caitlin's eyes were fixed on the floor while Barry's stayed on her, taking in the details of her features in the soft golden light. Her eyes, her skin, her hair, her lips. She was breathtaking. "I know what you mean," his voice was faint and distant.

"They mean well," Caitlin suddenly turned her head, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Barry shook himself, his brain catching up with the conversation.

"I know," he replied without missing too much of a beat, realizing he could no longer hear the doorbell. "Just like Susan means well with her casseroles," Barry conceded, letting his arm stretch out and relax around Caitlin.

She smiled to herself, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder.

"Unless of course she's just buttering us up so she can drug us and hunt us for sport," Barry tacked on and it was Caitlin's turn to roll her eyes, casting her gaze skyward as she drew in a long-suffering sigh.

"What? You have to admit, they're freakishly nice," Barry pointed out. "They practically adopted us the moment we got here. Now they're trying to marry us off?"

"Or maybe they're just nice normal people," Caitlin suggested. "Not everybody lives their lives having to worry about getting drugged and kidnapped."

"Are you suggesting we aren't normal, Doctor Snow??" Barry put his hand over his heart, scandalized.

"I think the fact that we're even having this conversation right now should answer that," Caitlin laughed to herself, fingers beginning to gently flip through the pages of her binder once more.

Barry couldn't help but glance down as she did, the pages coming to a stop on a set of building plans.

"What's that?" He inquired after a moment, tilting his head a little to read the STAR Labs logo stamped on the bottom corner.

Still biting her lip, Caitlin inhaled, slow and deep, and prepared to answer.

"It's just...ever since we got back, I've been thinking. I've been trying to catch up on everything," she stared down at the pages as she spoke. "I've been looking at meta statistics, genetic research, death rates..." she trailed off.

"Between the original particle accelerator explosion and all the exotic matter that was released during Crisis, there are more Metahumans now than ever," she stated, and Barry had to agree. They had only been back a handful of months and he had already seen firsthand just how much the dynamics of the city had changed.

"I mean there's thousands upon thousands of people running around out there with altered physiology. Getting hurt, getting sick," Caitlin reasoned. "Even if there's a hospital willing to treat them, most doctors wouldn't even know how. Nobody knew how to treat you or me or Ralph or Cisco. Metahumans deserve to have a place to go when they're hurt. Where they can be treated by people who are properly trained and who care," she continued, a passion finding its way to her voice. "I think...I think I can help with that."

"You wanna start a Meta clinic," Barry perked up, realization suddenly dawning on him.

Caitlin nodded, a spark in her gaze as it flickered to him. "With STAR Labs' help, yes. I think we can do it. I talked to Cisco about it today." She turned her attention back to the binder. "I've been looking over permits and regulations. and I asked him if he had any spare facilities that weren't in use. I wanted to see if we could even temporarily convert one of them into a clinic."

"And?" Barry inquired, an eager and excited energy now buzzing within him.

Caitlin paused, smiling a little and shaking her head at the memory. "He just said 'you can have like 10' and shoved this binder in my hands and told me to take my pick."

Barry chuckled quietly to himself and leaned over to take a look at the plans. "This one?"

Caitlin nodded with an almost proud smile. "Look familiar?

Barry glanced between her and the plans, leaning over to take a closer look. The layout itself didn't ring any bells, but as soon as he saw the location and surrounding architecture it all clicked into place.

Really, he felt silly for not realizing sooner, he had walked her there nearly every day for five years, after all.

"No," Barry spoke in bewildered disbelief.

"Yes," Caitlin countered, awe in her voice. "It's the clinic I worked at in the Speed Force. It's really there."

"And—and Star Labs already owned it?" His eyebrows shot upward.

Caitlin nodded, practically beaming.

He let out a huff of astonishment. "I can't believe it," Barry leaned back against the dishwasher.

"Why not, I mean this place was real," Caitlin's words were soft and thoughtful, her eyes traveling towards the ceiling above, towards the four walls they called home, and then finally, stopping on him. "I think you were right. I think the Speed Force did what it did for a reason, I think it wanted to show us what life could be."

Barry held her gaze for several beats, wishing, hoping, searching for something he wasn't entirely sure was there. "You really think so?" His voice came out as a whisper.

Caitlin smiled at him, the air around her practically glowing with her very own special brand of warmth. It had always been addicting, alluring in a quiet sort of way.

"I know so," she echoed his words back to him, reaching over and threading her fingers through his. Barry held tight, fixing his eyes on their intertwined hands. He briefly brought her knuckles up to his lips before finally tucking their hands against his chest.

"I'm so proud of you, Cait," he spoke with a quiet reverence.

"But I haven't done anything yet."

"Of course you have."

She began to shake her head.

"I'm serious," Barry persisted, scooting around to better look her in the eyes, his legs crossed beneath him. "All these years you've kept me and everyone else on the team alive. Caitlin, you've saved my life so many times. You've saved the world so many times. And look at you now, saving it all over again."

Barry paused, lifting both her hands and cradling them in his, holding them as though they were something precious. "But not with fancy suits or powers this time. With this," he tapped the side of her temple softly, "and this," he let his hand fall to her heart. "And I couldn't be prouder." He gave her hand one last squeeze before letting go.

Caitlin inhaled slowly and blinked rapidly, trying to clear the tears that had begun to obscure her vision. "Barry Allen, you're going to make me cry," she gave a watery laugh, wiping her eyes.

Barry chuckled softly. "I'm sorry but it's the truth. It's my truth."

"And if you need anything, anything at all, I'm always here to lend a hand," he added, pulling her binder into his lap and taking another look.

Caitlin sat up a little straighter at that and scooted closer. "Anything?"

Barry's gaze flickered back up to her and he laughed quietly at her sudden enthusiasm. "Anything, Dr. Snow."

"Well," she began, folding her hands together. "Cisco and I are going to go look at the building tomorrow. Make sure it's up to par and meets all the standards. I was wondering...would you walk me to work again?"

Barry lit up, a glowing smile pulling at his lips just as he pulled her hand into his.

"Always."

---

The soft rap of footsteps filled the air as Caitlin and Barry made their way across the STAR Labs parking lot, the asphalt still carrying the scent of fresh rain.

They chatted amongst themselves as they walked, sipping on their morning coffee and discussing their plans for the day. Barry ran ahead once they made it to the wide glass doors and pulled one open for her, having had to stuff his croissant in his mouth so he could have a free hand.

Caitlin laughed a little at the sight and thanked him. He had been doing that a lot lately; going out of his way to open doors and pull out chairs and bring her snacks when she worked late on plans for the clinic. She wasn't exactly sure what had inspired it, but she was grateful all the same. As she walked past him, she made a mental note to try and surprise him with dinner later that week.

They stepped inside and headed towards the elevator bay, both caught off guard when they nearly collided with Cisco and Harry as the two came sharply around a corner.

"Hey, man, sorry," Cisco said, grabbing Barry's arm to steady himself.

"Sorry," Harry echoed, lightly patting Caitlin's shoulder as he walked around her.

The two kept moving, aimed for the door.

"Where are you two off to in such a rush?" Barry joked as Harry pushed the large glass entry open.

Cisco turned back and spoke over his shoulder, a strange and knowing smile on his face. "Coffee."

And with that, they were gone.

Caitlin shared a glance with Barry and he just shrugged. There was truly no telling what those two were up to. One minute they could be at each other's throats over a misplaced Snickers bar and then the next hatching a ludicrous plan together.

The elevator ride was short and mostly quiet, a brief debate arising between the pair about what movie they should watch later that night. Moments later, the gray metal doors slid open on the sixth floor with a ding, revealing Cisco and Harry.

Harry sat behind one of the computer monitors while Cisco had his feet up on the desk, repeatedly throwing a ball up in the air and catching it.

Barry shot him a look of confusion as they stepped out, just as Cisco caught sight of him, tilting his head to the side.

"That was fast," they both said in unison.

"I thought you guys were gonna get coffee," Caitlin chimed in, slipping her bag off her shoulder and setting it by her desk.

Harry and Cisco shared a quick look. "That's what you two left for," Harry answered.

"Yeah, that was like, what, two minutes ago," Cisco supplied, glancing at his watch. "I mean I know you have super speed but damn—"

"Cisco, we just got here," Barry shook his head, perplexed.

Cisco paused for a moment, his feet coming off the desk as he leaned forward slowly. "No, you got here fifteen minutes ago and then you just left for Jitters," his words came out slow and measured.

Caitlin shook her head, eyes widening a bit as an odd feeling pricked at the back of her spine. "No, I promise you, we didn't."

"And we just passed you two in the lobby. You both left," Barry reiterated, pointing in the direction of the elevator.

A mix of reactions flickered across Cisco's face; first confusion, then realization, then dread.

"No way," he whispered, all the blood draining from his features.

He looked back at Harry, who seemed to be wearing a similar expression. "Metis and Proteus," both men spoke simultaneously.

A moment later and the room all but descended into chaos as Cisco shoved off and slid his chair over to a computer monitor while Harry took off sprinting down the hall. Cisco quickly pulled up the camera footage from the main lobby, isolating the feed to the last few minutes.

Barry and Caitlin watched with shock as they saw a clip of themselves (sans coffee) walking through the halls, the pair said something amongst themselves and suddenly there was a brilliant flash of golden light, the camera cutting out for a moment or two. When the footage picked back up, it was no longer of them, but of Cisco and Harry.

A heavy and frustrated sigh escaped Cisco. "It's them!" He called back to Harry loudly just as the other man came back, slamming a clip into a pulse rifle.

Suddenly, Cisco was also in motion, gathering his Vibe gear and suiting up at a speed that could very well rival the Flash.

"Okay, woah woah woah," Barry (and Caitlin) followed after him, the meaning of the sudden and palatable panic in the air lost on them. "Who are Metis and Proteus?"

"Shapeshifters," Cisco replied as he strapped on his gauntlets and threw his Vibe jacket over his shoulders.

"Like Everyman?" Caitlin questioned, unable to stop the way she began to unconsciously wring her hands together.

"Worse," Harry cut in, suddenly strapping on a Kevlar vest of his own as though they were all going to war. "They showed up right after Crisis and have been coming back periodically ever since."

"Are they metas?" Caitlin inquired, moving over to the semicircle desk to search the system for their files.

"We don't know," an uncertain look clouded Cisco's face, his voice echoing through the Cortex. "Nothing we've ever thrown at them has worked and nobody's ever been able to catch them either. They just rolled into town one day with their own names and everything."

"Okay, but what exactly makes them worse than Everyman?" Barry added a follow-up question, peering over Caitlin's shoulder to look at the screen.

"Because all Everyman could do was imitate our appearance. He couldn't get our memories or our thoughts," Cisco explained without looking up, fingers making a few taps as he calibrated his gauntlets.

"But Metis and Proteus can. All it takes is a touch and they know everything we know up to that point," Harry supplied.

A sudden and cold dread washed over Caitlin. "Wait does...does that mean they know our identities?"

"Our identities, the League's. Everything," Cisco grimaced, sliding on his new and improved Vibe goggles.

There was an abrupt spark of lightning and a sharp gust of wind and suddenly Barry was in his Flash suit. "Okay, we need to find them like right now."

Cisco gave a sharp nod. "I'll call Ralph and Wally, tell them we need all hands on deck."

Caitlin shook her head as her eyes scanned over what little information on them the computer had to offer. "I don't get it. With powers like that they could be anyone, anywhere. They could be in the Oval Office, or Parliament or—or the Kremlin. What are they doing here? What do they want?" She turned back to Cisco.

"They've never had any sort of long game that we can tell. They just want to cause trouble," Harry answered, peering over his glasses.

"Yeah, but for us specifically," Cisco added, suddenly sounding deeply exasperated, as though they were a bane on his very existence. "I mean, they're the reason I'm not allowed in IHOP ever again. The reason Harry got arrested for indecent exposure," he gestured to the other scientist, who in turn only grimaced and shook his head. "Caitlin, the last time they were here one of them posed as the Mayor and made farting a federal offense!"

Barry had to stifle a laugh at that, quickly covering it up with a cough.

"Chaos," Barry said after he recovered. "It sounds like they want chaos."

"More or less," Harry nodded. "Which is why we need to find them before they can start any."

Cisco activated his gauntlets, the lights that lined his glasses flickering to life as well.

"They could be anywhere or anyone, so everybody stay sharp, stay alert, and when in doubt use your powers. It's the one thing they can't imitate."

---

Proteus shifted a little on his feet as he washed his hands in the bathroom sink, his foot tapping lightly against the gray tile floor. He glanced up at the mirror and tilted his head a bit, the face of Barry Allen staring back at him.

He couldn't complain too much, it was a nice face, all things considered. It was clean lines and good eyebrows and a sharp jawline. Not unlike how his true face had been, once upon a time. In all honesty, he had been wanting to try it on since they had first met all those months ago.

Proteus dried his hands and turned to walk down the hall, admiring the rooms as he walked by.

"You know, I love what they've done with the place," he called to Metis. "It was a real dump when they first got here."

She laughed quietly from the kitchen, and he smiled. Even after all this time, her laugh never got old to his ears.

He rounded the corner moments later, watching as she put the finishing touches on the documents that were laid out across the kitchen island. He moved to peer over her shoulder, admiring their latest handy work.

"Don't you think the name change was a bit much?" He inquired, looking down and tilting his head to read the certificates.

Metis turned her head to glance at him, a cheeky smile adorning the face of Caitlin Snow. "Everything we've done over the years, and this crosses the line?" She teased.

Proteus rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. They are our friends, after all."

"And that's precisely why I did it. Because I care," she put her hand over her heart. "It's exactly the push they need to get their act together."

Proteus laughed and shook his head at her antics. He couldn't exactly disagree, they were both remarkable people with remarkable experiences. They were the heroes that all of the multiverses owed its life to. But they were also perhaps the most dense and oblivious creatures he had met in years. It was almost as if they were still stuck, their bodies having left the unchanging aether of the Speed Force, but their minds and hearts remaining.

"And besides, I've seen the attic, remember, silly," Metis tapped at Caitlin's temple. "It's what she wanted, not me. If she had a diary and less shame, she'd practically be doodling that name with hearts drawn around it."

Proteus nodded. "Him too. If it wasn't endearing, it would almost be pathetic."

"And besides, I don't see what the big deal is. I kept the maiden name as a middle name for her work," Metis set her pen down and put her hands on her hips. "Just like she always wanted."

He nodded in vague approval and put his arm around her. She instinctively leaned into his touch. After that, they made their way to the couch and plopped down with a sigh.

"You think they've figured anything out by now?" She looked up at him, her head resting on his shoulder.

He shook his head. "The courthouse is the last place they'll go poking around for strange activity. No, they'll have a nice surprise when they get home."

Metis smiled at that, satisfied.

"Eh, you're right," Proteus conceded and she perked up a bit. "It'll help them in the long run. They'll grow closer instead of drift apart. They'll need that for what's coming,"

"So that gift of prophecy still works after all," she teased him, quirking an eyebrow.

"Plus, it's going to be hilarious," he added and Metis laughed again, snuggling closer to him.

"We'll have to check in again next time we're in town, get the rest of the story after it unfolds."

Proteus nodded absently, wrapping his arm a little tighter around his wife.

"It was nice though. Playing the part of Susan and Steve," he clarified. "It was quiet. Calm. Nice neighborhood."

Metis turned her head to gaze up at his then-green eyes, a soft smile finding its way to her lips. "It was," she agreed, tilting her head to plant a gentle kiss on him. He returned it, speaking again as they pulled away.

"When was the last time we settled down? Just took a break. No new faces or changes, just us?"

Metis sighed thoughtfully, pausing to do the math. "Oh, not since the twenties at least," she replied, her head still resting on his chest.

"Eighteen or nineteen?" He cracked a smile.

Metis let out a breathy laugh. "Heavens it has been a while."

A pleasant sort of quiet settled over them for several beats.

"What do you say?" Proteus offered her his hand. "Run away with me? Again. Like we did all those years ago. Just you and me and a quiet little place of our own we can call home?"

Metis beamed at him, her radiance shining through the facade she wore. She took his hand without hesitation.

"So long as you're there, it will always be home."

---

It was half-past 11:00 when Caitlin and Barry finally stumbled home, a restless sort of exhaustion clinging to their bones.

It had been a long day of fruitless, uneventful searching. They had found no traces of their resident shapeshifters, or any evidence that anything unusually chaotic had happened at all. It had been a perfectly mundane wild goose chase.

They both kicked off their shoes as soon as the front door shut behind them, the familiarity of their shared home doing a bit to soothe their frayed nerves.

"I don't know about you, but I'm still pretty wired," Caitlin turned to him as she hung her bag on the hook by the door. "How about that movie?"

"Weeeell," Barry pretended to think about it for a moment. "I could definitely use the distraction," he admitted, and she smiled brightly, despite the dark circles beneath her amber eyes.

He mirrored her expression, running a hand down her arm and stopping at her elbow to give a gentle and affirming squeeze. "You go set it up and I'll pull us out some leftovers?"

Caitlin nodded and they both went their separate ways.

Barry made a beeline for the kitchen, flicking on the overhead light and stopping to get a mug of water from their Brita. After that he began shuffling leftovers from the fridge, popping a small plate in the microwave. The timer began its countdown, the soft hum of the machine drifting through the otherwise quiet kitchen.

Barry yawned briefly and then took a sip of his water, the cool liquid sliding down his throat. As he did, he paused, his eyes lingering on a small pile of papers on the kitchen island he hadn't remembered being there that morning.

He furrowed his brow and stepped closer. They looked like legal documents. His confusion deepened and he reached down to spread the papers out even more. Beneath the paperwork there were two certificates, neatly signed and notarized. Barry leaned down, his tired eyes squinting as he read them.

One was a certificate of name change, the name "Caitlin Snow Allen," written in pen.

The other was a marriage certificate, the names of Barry Allen and Caitlin Snow neatly filled out in the blank space.

A loud gasp was forced from Barry's lungs and he physically jumped back. The world shifted on its axis as all the pieces suddenly clicked into place.

The ground shattered beneath his feet.

The microwave dinged.

The mug slipped from his grasp and broke into a million pieces on the floor.

A single, desperate and panic filled word escaped his mouth, seeming to fill every corner of the house.

"CAAITLINN!"