Chapter 3 - The Chosen One

Italics – Inner thoughts

*insert sound effect here* - *sounds*

BOLD – EMPHASIS

Italics+BOLD - Jump cuts

Underline – Author's note

…

White.

Everything is white.

Everywhere is white.

Nothing is white.

…

Feels like Europe before the colonialization of Africa. Ha Ha!

Yeah, hope you fuckers didn't fail history class to understand that joke.

It feels weird here, I feel like I'm floating, but at the same time not. It feels like I'm lying on my back in bed and I'm spinning forward, it's kind of ticklish too.

Is this death? I'm dead, aren't I? Well, I guess that's how it ended; with nuclear fire, yey!

If this is the afterlife, it fucking sucks. There's nothing here! No god to greet me with "Hey! You've been a good boy so YOU get to enter Heaven! Come on in! We've got Half Life Three, Four and Five!".

But I feel like I'm not dead, like my eyes are closed and I have to wake up, maybe this is some lucid dream or just some weird delusion or the "white tunnel" that people who came back from death describe seeing?

It also feels like my back is itchy.

…

Wait… Itchy?

I open my eyes and immediately feel the cruel sunlight shining on my eyes, so I shut them closed again making me groan in displeasure. I raise my right hand over my face to try opening my eyes again, slowly this time. And oh my god it actually worked who would have thought! Anyway, I use my left arm to position myself in a sitting position, and I just realize how fucking sore I am. Did I run away from the nuclear blast wave like some shitty superhero and get out alive?! Nope. Definitely not. I can run for fairly long distances, at a jogging pace. That's my best, pretty sad if I say so myself.

I look around to see that I'm on top of a grassy hill, surrounded by a flourishing forest made of many thick bright green bushes, trees as tall as three-story buildings covering the land in a weak shadow thanks to their many leaves. There are even some mountains in the distance! And oh boy they are fucking huge dude, not like Everest huge but still, their tips are above the clouds! And what makes this scenery even MORE beautiful is the setting, or rising, sun. "Woah, it's like this is some National Park or a nature preservation area, damn I could even picture building a resort cabin on this hill!". I then look up and become even MORE awestruck! The sky has a purple-blue hue to it and there are 2 moons in the sky! A red one that is about the size of a coin from my perspective and a blue one about 3 times its size!

…

There are 2 moons in the sky.

…

"WAIT WHAT THE FUCK!?"

A few moments ago

A castle fortified by layers upon layers of smooth stone can be spotted sitting atop a mountain with a small poor village built of straw houses and filled with farmlands located at the bottom of the mountain, providing the fortress with sufficient foods and a false defense line in case of an invasion, which is VERY unlikely since it is in the heart of the empire's territory, among other large cities in the distance and little check points in case some smart-ass bandits try to avoid the border patrols, the bandits always fail to sneak by, poor suckers.

Inside the monumental beauty are many rooms, filled with many servants, storages, supplies, armories and towers at every corner, with security so tight it would make a nun blush and collapse on the spot. But one particular room is guarded the most at the present time, no one can here what's happening inside unless someone screams bloody murder in there. The mysterious room is bloody gorgeous; the floor is made out of white marble, the walls have paintings of past battles, royalty and even landscapes filled with waterfalls, changing seasons, bright night skies and sailing ships in the distant sea. Inside the room there are also people, very powerful people; the most trusted members of every branch of the Order are present along with five of the most naturally talented sorcerers and sorceresses of the generation, add to that three royal families, one of them being the King's family themselves.

King Edrik The Great is the current king of this era. He is known as a very serious person, even amongst his children and most of the time will not accept any kind of failure. He has a golden crown on his head with the Order's cross engraved on its frontal part, his clothing consisting of the most expensive smooth and soft cloth wealth can buy (not that he cares about wealth that much, he is literally the fucking king), a white coat reaching down to his knees with a red cross on its back. On every finger there are rings made from gold and silver, every ring is unique, as it resembles each of the connection he has in the world, from the Inquisitors in Dragonia to the Negotiators in the Desert Region.

The King clears his throat to get everyone's attention and shut up the bickering in the room.

"Greetings, my fellow subjects. I'm sure you all know why I've requested that you all be present at this time, as the matter is EXTREMELY urgent". Everybody understood exactly what he meant; today is a day that a very special event takes place, one that happens only between once in a century up to a few; "The summoning".

The king then stands up from his temporary throne and walks down the stairs, "As you all know, it has been almost ten years since Lescatie's fall to the Demon Lord's Armies", his faced turned into a frown as he finished declaring that, "That wretched whore took away our pride, our capital, the city which represented out greatest defense in the frontline". As he finished descending down the flight of stairs, his face turned into a subtle grin. "However, today is the day that changes. We have fixed many of the flaws our great nation had which led to Lescatie's fall, and we will not make the same mistake again", murmurs of "yes" and "of course" is then heard inside the room, before the king clears his throat once again and continues speaking. "The Demon Lord's Armies have been held back for all this time, and they WILL continue to be held back. But today is the day we turn the tide of this eternal battle". He begins marching towards the center of the room, his grin growing into a full smile, "Because after three centuries of waiting, today is the day, today is the time, it is NOW or NEVER!", the king then spreads his arms out, his fists closed and ambition written all over his face like a color book, "Let The Summoning commence!".

After the king finished his little speech, all of the other witnesses immediately began preparing everything, from the summoning circle, to quickly going over the spell castings. The summoning is a quick process, but if ONE little thing goes wrong, it's all busted and gone. What is it you ask? Well, it is a summoning, obviously by its name, of humans from somewhere unknown! Not much is known about those humans whom are summoned to this world, all that is known about them is that they always possess some sort of incomparable power, be it extreme magical affinity, or flawless swordsmanship. The Order are the only ones that hold the knowledge of the Summoning, and they really like to keep their shit secret, like Victoria's Secret level of secrecy. The method of which the Order uses to summon those human individuals were discovered a little over a millennia ago by some rich scholar whose name had been forgotten long ago, and there have been only 6 Summonings recorded in total throughout the ages. Sometimes a man or a woman would arrive, only one, always one, and it was more than enough to turn either side of the eternal war into the victor, and the other into the loser. Three of the summoned individuals were also proven to be failures, not because the Summoning didn't work, but because those Chosen Ones defected to the Monster's side, which was eventually taken care of by the Order. And by "taken care of", it means assassinated, eliminated, dead, gone, not alive. They really don't fuck around when push comes to shove.

After the preparations were all in place, the ritual finally began.

First, they drew a circle inscribed in ancient letter from a time long lost, creating a shape made of 4 crosses crossing each other, all encircled by a glowing white light. The five Summoners all stood at the edge of the circle at a perfect distance between each other, looking down and muttering a few blessing so the Chief God herself would assist them in this ritual, they must not fail and they know that very well , or else the king will kill them without any doubt.

They began chanting the spell, half the ritual has gone according to the instructions. Here comes the hard part. They chanted the spell fluently, without blinking or even stopping to take a breath, it sounded angelic and demented at the same time, like a man screaming in the shower while trying to finish showering as quickly as possible because he forgot to turn on the boiler, therefore he has to shower in the cold water, poor bastard.

The whole summoning circle began glowing a blinding shade of white, the chanting grew louder and louder and objects in the room began floating in the air. Then there was a sudden flash of light and everyone were temporarily blinded, followed by a shockwave that knocked everybody down on their asses and backs.

After the momentary panic died down, everyone looked through the smoke expecting the next Chosen One to appear from it, everyone including the King were excited to meet them, a few princesses even gossiped amongst themselves about the Chosen One.

"Oooh, I hope it's a man!"

"Yeah, I hope he's cute too!"

"I hope he's at least nice!"

After the smoke cleared out, they saw… nothing. No one arrived, which really confused them. The Summoning always worked, so why did it fail this time? Or did- and the king is creaming bloody murder.

"WHAT IS THIS?! WHERE IS THE CHOSEN ONE?! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!", he then turns to the Magic-casters and a feeling of dread washes over the whole room, even the guards outside can feel the murderous aura coming from the room. The King points a threatening finger at the Summoners, with killing intent leaking from his very life essence, "YOU FAILED THE SUMMONING! YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THIS NATION, AND NOW WE HAVE NO WAY TO TURN THE TIDE OF THIS DAMNED WAR! GUARDS! EXECUTE THEM." As the guards outside burst into the room hearing the King's command, one of the Summoners; a young woman by the name of Rilanna Lorenn wearing a thick purple cloak sawn with silver strings hiding her whole body except for her head. She has a heart-shaped face like any typical anime character would have, with deep blue colored eyes, purple hair to match her cloak hanging all the way down to her black boots. She is also wearing circle-shaped glasses, making her look more like a librarian than a Sorceress. She interrupts the king's rage by screaming "WAIT!", getting everyone's attention.

"The Summoning did NOT fail! I know it didn't! Please! Listen to me my king! I can explain what happened!", she drops to her knees with her head down, praying to the Chief God that he'll listen to her, not just for her sake, but for her friends' sake too.

The King actually looked down at her, a little shocked some commoner would interrupt him, well she wasn't a commoner, but for the king everyone besides the High Class are commoners since he could have anyone executed as he pleases, as long as it's "withing reason", whatever that means. "Hmph, alright. Humor me, PEASANT", he said the last part with a venomous bitter taste leaking through his voice.

"T-thank you my king! Thank you!", Rilanna almost broke down crying at the king's mercy but quickly remembered that she still has to explain to him her reasoning.

"S-so, *clears throat*, I believe that the Summoning worked perfectly fine because, well," she gently pushes her glasses up her cute little nose with her index finger before continuing, "we did everything exactly like the instructions said. There was nothing wrong with the summoning itself, BUT! I think that what actually happened was that the Chosen One had been successfully summoned, but not here! They must have arrived somewhere else in the world, so almost everything worked out according to plan!" She finishes with a nervous smile, because she realized in her own words that the ritual DID work, but the Chosen One is not HERE, in the CASTLE.

The king nods in understanding, before realizing the same thing Rilanna did just a second ago, and screams his lungs out at them, again. "WELL THEN? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? FIND THE CHOSEN ONE, I DON'T CARE IF YOU MUST TRAVEL TO THAT CORRUPTED ZINPAGUI OR WHATEVER THAT CURSED ISLAND IS CALLED! BRING THEM TO ME AT ALL COSTS, ALIVE." The King's Guards bark out a "Yes, my king!" without thinking twice and begin marching their way to inform the highest ranks present at the castle of what they witnessed, and the King's order.

The King then turns back to the still kneeling Rilanna and takes a deep breath, calmly exhaling all the air in his chest. "Well, it seems like there will be no beheadings today, go away now, I have VERY URGENT business to attend to at the moment. Farewell." At that, the king exists the room through the front door and disappears around a corner. The still shocked royal families and sorcerers quickly begin arguing about the events that just unfolded, some are confused, some are sad that they didn't get to meet the next Chosen One, and all of them are very scared, because when the king wants something, he WILL get it.

Although, Rilanna only had one thought in her head about the whole situation; "Where are you, Chosen One?".

Back to the present

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

I continue staring at the double moons in the sky, I can still faintly see them despite the time of day being, well, day.

After a few minutes of thinking and staring at nothing in particular like an autistic person would the first time they ever played Minecraft, I came up with the most logical conclusion of my life.

I'm not in my world anymore.

And not only that, no sir NO! I remember when I was still in high school and I was experiencing my "Edgy" phase, I used to read some anime comics when I was really bored, I think they were called "Manga"? I don't remember much about them, but what I DO remember is that there was this genre called "Isekai" which means "in another world" or some shit like that, but I really disliked the whole "reincarnation" theme of it, because I believe that life is a onetime experience only YOU get to live ONCE, and the idea of an afterlife just drains that meaning of life for me, maybe it's because I was raised in a certain way, maybe it's because of the country I was born in, or hell, perhaps the reason is as simple as - I had an amazing uncle who taught me to "live life to the fullest, because you will never live it again", all credit on that quote goes to Jake Stafford.

…

Jake…

Danny…

They're all dead.

The World is dead, well, at least mine is.

…

I want to cry, really fucking badly. However, I must stay cool, calm, and collective- "oh who am I fucking kidding!".

I lower my head to the ground, still kneeling, and proceed to scream as loud as I can for as long as I can, until I need to take a breath and then scream some more.

After I'm done with my little episode, I take deep satisfying breaths in order to provide more oxygen to my brain, so that I calm down faster. While doing that I reflect on the situation at hand.

"Okay Alex, deep breaths, everything is fine. You are still yourself, the same skinny white boy you have always been, same clothes and same memories, which means I did not die, and I'm not in some Reincarnation Japanese Comic bullshit, which is somewhat good, I think.", taking one final deep breath, I slowly let it escape my ribcage and make one final conclusion, "Jake is dead, my whole world is dead, everybody I ever knew and loved are dead, which is not much, but holy shit eight billion people died, and just like that! Poof! Bye-bye mother fuckers! No war, no struggle, no announcement or any kind of warning, just one big fucking surprise of "whoops! Dropped the Nukes guys of well time to die HA HA!", but look on the bright side Alex! You're alive and well! No wounds or burn marks, same body, same memories, same me! I don't even know if being alive is even worth it, but if I somehow MAGICALLY survived by who knows how then it probably means I shouldn't do it, yeah, I'll think about all that shit later. Wait, am I having an inner monologue with myself? Better add massive trauma to the list of things that happened to me, another one off my bucket list. Hoo-rah!". I look to my left and almost faint at the only thing that could've made this fucked situation better even by a little bit; my backpack!

I rush to my bag, almost tripping over myself and immediately search through it like Mexican border patrol officers do to every car that comes through, and I couldn't have been more relieved than ever.

Everything I had is still here! My phone, my L-221, my earphones. I also forgot to check my bag before I packed all my shit to work yesterday, "Wait, Is today yesterday? Or Tomorrow. Damn I don't even know what time it is, well not that it matters, I could be a thousand years in the future or at the beginning to time for all I know!". In addition to all my previous stuff, I find a different pair of clothes; sweat pants, a blank blue t-shirt, a black hoodie my uncle, rest in peace, gave me on my twentieth birthday, and a Swiss Multi-Tool, "Wait why is that in here- ohhhh riiight. We went camping on Friday and Jake tried to teach me how to fish for the very first time in my life. I wasn't so bad either, for a beginner for course. Man, we had so much fun together."

I wipe away the tears that were starting to form in my eyes and slightly shake my head. "Now's not the time to cry, I can do more of that later but right now I've got to figure things out, and hopefully find a village or something."

I stand up, picking up the bag with me and wearing it over my shoulder like a school boy would when it's a School Trip, all pumped up and ready to go. I take one last look around me to appreciate the beautiful hill I woke up on and go towards the sun's direction. It's not like I know where I'm going so why not? But I'm pretty sure it's either east or west. I still haven't gotten over the fact that I'm literally in another world, for God knows why, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around this wild-ass fucking situation I'm in. On a positive note, I feel a little better after having a mental breakdown and letting out all that stress in one go, and I still have some of my shit with me, AND I'm already feeling like I'm understanding what's going on right now. I feel fine. I explore this world! I can do so many things with my knowledge! Infinite possibilities! I'm on top of the world!

…

Not even five minutes have passed since I began my epic journey into the unknown and I'm already bored out of my mind, yeah sure I'm still getting over the whole "get isekai'd bitch!" thing, but it's still the same forest, with the same tall pine-like trees and same full bushes all around me, staring mockingly at me due to my misfortune of a life I've got, fuck you nature, cruel fucking bitch.

After what was around an hour of non-stop walking I notice that the sun has gone a little higher in the sky, which means I'm going east and the time of day right now is somewhere in the morning. Wait, maybe this world is rotating clockwise unlike Earth? Maybe it's actually flat? Oh boy, just thinking about all the possibilities hurts my fucking brain.

I gently rub both sides of my head, trying to ease the upcoming headache in my frontal cerebrum. My body still feels sore, like I just finished PE class in the school gym, but I'll soldier through like I always do, I'm sure that as long as I keep my head cool and use my flawless logic to solve any problem I must deal with in the near future, everything will be ABSOLUTELY fine.

I spot a path past a few more tree, jogging towards it I feel a little relieved, my first sign of possible civilization in this world. So now I have two option; go left, or right. "hmm... which to choooose… Ah fuck it let's go right."

After using my incredible decision-making skills, I decide to turn right and walk down the dirt path. It seems that it hasn't been traveled on today, yet. So, let's see what this world's got in store for me.

…

It's been… what? Three hours? My legs hurt like hell, the scenery is still the fucking same and I couldn't spot any intelligent lifeforms, only some weird looking rabbits with tiny horns, a flock of birds with red feathers and a weird looking heart-shaped pink fruit. Of course I didn't touch it, for all I know it could be poisonous or some elaborate fly-trap, so fuck that. Besides that, I've been fairly cautious of everything, I need to find some city, hell a village would do! Information is king when it comes to traversing through the world, there are so many things that could happen that I'm not even aware of, which makes my spine tingle a little, but not in a good way.

"*heavy sigh* Man, this fucking sucks. I wish something would happen- ", I stopped myself from going any further down the path and turned my head slightly to my right. In the bushes, I can see a cow's tail swishing lazily from side to side, without a care in the world.

"Wait. Is that a cow? Why is it out here in the wild? Aren't farmers supposed to look after them so they don't wander off? In that case, there could be a farm somewhere nearby! Yes!", without thinking twice I run over to the bushes, expecting to see a cow laying around minding its own business.

Instead, I see a cute girl with horns, a cow's tail, and instead of normal legs she has COW LEGS with fucking hooves in place of feet. She is sleeping soundly, snoring peacefully like I'm not staring at her in a shocked state. And not only that, she is very good-looking, sexy is the word you would use if I'm not wrong. Althought she is wearing nothing below her waist,she lookslike a cowboy, or in this case; a cow-GIRL. She has a pair of plump butt cheeks, a face you could just smother yourself in, lips so kissable you would kill for and "HOLY SIHT THOSE ARE SOME REAL GOD DAMN MILKERS!", ha ha, good joke me!

She looks perfect, like the perfect sex doll a weeb who's into literal cow girls would pay all their life savings for. Yeah, she looks unnaturally perfect. Well, I should probably ask her for directions, IF she can even speak, and if she tries anything funny, then Cow Lady meets Gun it is then, I really hope it won't devolve into that.

"Umm… Lady? Wake up." I carefully kneel beside her and shake her awake, she groans lightly and stretches out a little, emphasizing my point on her very big titties. "Yikes, I probably woke her up from a nap, sorry." She opens her eyes and looks at me, a warm smile forming on her face.

"Oh, good morning traveler. Oh my~, what a cute face to wake up to and such strange clothing you're wearing too". She giggles lightly for a moment before sitting up straight in a crossed leg position. She sounds like a combination of a MILF and the average Texan with the heavy "YEE-HAW!" accent. "Did you need something darling? I can help with anything you need!". She then leans a little closer to my face, almost pressing her boobs to my chest.

Okay, this is NOT normal. I have so many fucking questions about what's going on, but I'll keep them for later, let's just get this weird thing over with. She is indeed attractive, but such matters do not interest me anymore, for personal reasons.

"Do you know where is the closest… settlement? I've lost my way around these woods and I could really appreciate any help", technically I didn't lie to her, but telling everyone that I'm basically a fucking alien isn't going to help me by much, either I'll get interrogated by whatever authority is ruling this world, or they'll think I'm some nutcase on the loose. Either option sucks for me.

"Oh sure, it's just around Haricto-", she abruptly stops for some reason, and stares to at my red t-shirt.

I bring my hand to touch her shoulders to bring her out of whatever weird trans she just entered, "Uhh, Miss? Are you okay?".

Suddenly, she forcefully grabs my hand, REALLY TIGHTLY TOO. She's just staring at me, drooling over herself and "WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE WET!?".

She launches herself off the ground, tackling me while interlocking her fingers with my own, her face is beet red like a tomato and her heavy breathing feels hot on my face. She really caught me of guard. That is really bad. I can't reach for my gun like this! I've never killed a person before, but this seems like a big hell-no moment.

"H-h-husbaaaand!", she leans into the crook of my neck and inhales my scent deeply. Her eyes widen in ecstasy and she literally cums on the ground between my legs, moaning like she just got nailed like a piece of wood, and passes out on top of me.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK!", I forcefully push her off and jolt up like a spring, quickly walking away from her back to the road, making sure to look one last time back at her before taking off in a sprint. I continue running until I spot a nice big tree with plenty of shade to provide for me. Jackpot.

The moment I'm in the shade I collapse and lay down on my back, feeling the soft grass caressing the back of my shirt, still with the same exact thought as before.

"what the fuck was that? One moment she is all good and happy, the next one she tries to fucking molest me! A-and why did she call me husband?! I don't even fucking know her!", I rub my face in frustration, eventually relaxing my erratic breathing.

…

I genuinely don't know what to even think of this shit; a Cow-girl tried to rape me out of the blue and the moment she sniffed me like I'm a batch of meth she passed out. This world is fucking crazy man."

At least I got out of there unharmed, but that was only my luck, from now on I must stay sharp and focused, can't let anyone surprise me like that. I get up and continue walking what I assume is East, paying far more attention to my surroundings. Even though I'm still really freaked out about the last part of our interaction; why the hell did she react like she had an orgasm when she sniffed me?

And another 2 hours pass, great. The sun is high up in the sky looming over me, erasing almost all of the shadows that could provide me a place to rest from time to time, stupid sun, you're really fucking hot and you know that! I also adjust the time on my phone to twelve o'clock since it could give me a sense of time in this damned world.

Everything is quiet, a little too quiet.

I hear a rustle coming from my left, and quickly duck behind a rotten log nearby, carefully watching over the edge to see what surprise would come my way now.

I see a carrot rolling out of the shrubbery, a pair of bunny ears twisting left and right, listening to anything that could try to ambush it.

"Oh, just a rabbit, alright then.", and as I begin to sneak away, a furry creature lands on the log I was hiding behind.

I slowly turn around to see what it is, and lord and behold- "wait another one!?".

What I see in front of me is another girl, but with rabbit features all over her; she has the legs of a rabbit, 2 long bunny ears on top of her head and a ball-ish fluffy tail just above her buttocks. Her fur is snow white and she's wearing an outfit resembling what a little German girl would when she went out to collect some wild berries, only the top I mean, her plump furry tights are on full display for me and she even has a big-ass pocket watch hanging on the left side of her hip. And just like the cow-girl from before; she is absolutely gorgeous.

"Hey there! How are you doing?", she jumps down to me and looms over my still sitting dazed form, smiling like a little kid in a candy store. "I haven't seen many humans around here! Are you from the big castle over the mountains?", she points at a chain of mountains in the direction I was walking for hours, "I'm so glad you're here! I was getting really, really lonely out here… nobody comes to the forest anymore and I bet it's because of that mean old king." She then cutely pouts about the last part of her sentence, but quickly turns her attention back to me, "Oh! I'm sorry if I scared you! My name's Lisa! What's yours?", she offers a hand to me, hesitantly I take it and she jolts me right up on my feet like nothing happened.

… has stopped working, please select a response…

"Just what the fuck is going on right now?", she spoke so fucking fast I think I'm having a stroke, like what even IS she? Yes, it must be a she. The boobies, pretty face and the hidden vagina I can barely see through the fur between her legs. I don't even know how to react to this. First, I meet this cow-woman-looking-creature that basically tried to molested me, and now THIS. At least she's not trying anything funny, so let's try this again.

I clear my throat before finally beginning my interaction with this alien being, "Uh… H-hey, my name is.. uh…", this is so fucking sad holy shit I can't even formulate a sentence properly, uh fuck it. "J-just calm me Alex. Sooo… how's your day?", wow, good job me, now you look like a fucking creep, but at least this confirms my theory; I'm still the same old me, can't even talk to a girl actually being nice to me, this doesn't happen very often at all, fucking hell why isn't she wearing more clothes it's not my fault she is the spitting image of a role model! Fuck you dick! I'M IN CONTROL, NOT YOU!

"Today is going really well actually!", she goes back to collect the carrot on the ground, picking up a basket she left behind the bushes and safely stored the carrot inside it among other vegetables. "I haven't really seen any of my other friends lately. It's probably because they're busy having lots and lots of fun with their husbands! Hey, why don't you come with me! I'm sure my friends would LOVE to meet you!", she smiles widely and then tries to grab my hand, but oh no I've learned that lesson the HARD way and instantly retracted my hand from her reach.

"Look, uh… lady. I really appreciate the offer but I really don't know you, and I can't really come with you, y'know? I have uh, stuff to do, yeah, stuff. But, thanks for the offer anyway!", I begin to back away from her as calmly as I could.

"...thank you?", she weakly exclaims before locking her eyes with mine, a weird feeling of worry washing over me. "Yeah, I said thank you, so I'll just go now and- Oomph!", I'm tackled for the second time today, fan-fucking-tastic. "Lisa" the bunny-girl-woman-thing, is sitting on my lap while staring lovingly into my eyes. "Ooo! I KNEW you were the one for me the moment I saw you escaping that Holstaur's hooves! I'll bring you to Wonderland and then we'll make so many kits togethe- " I didn't let her finish that sentence because my Flight or Fight response kicked in and I punched her so hard in the face, she instantly lost her consciousness and dropped beside me like a brick. Luckily, there doesn't seem to be much damage to her pretty little face, so I shove her off of me, standing up and dusting all the dirt off my clothes.

"So, another one? What the actual fuck is WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD!? TWICE IN ONE FUCKING DAY. Why why why why, why the fuck ME of all people whhhhy. Ughh, this fucking sucks man.", I heavily sigh as I walk away from the still knocked out bunny-girl, questioning my life's decisions that led me to these very moments. Was she actually stalking me for that long? What did she mean by Wonderland? Is that a country? I really need to find a city or something, shit's beginning to confuse the hell out of me, and I think it's better if I avoid ANY of those things, I think they are people, I mean they can talk and the bunny-girl even had a name, but why the fuck are they trying to molest me?! This doesn't make any sense! Normal people don't do that shit, right? I'm not the crazy one, right? RIGHT?! Yes, of course I'm sane, yes, very yes.

And for the rest of the day I went on with my not so epic journey, avoiding being seen by anyone, ahh, feels like I'm playing Uncharted Three for the second time while trying to stealth the whole story line. I spotted a few more of these… people, on the path. All of them were very beautiful women, one was grazing the grass and I almost mistook her for a sheep, luckily I sneaked by her and she didn't even pay any attention to me what's so ever, and I was pretty close to her too since she was in the middle of the fucking road. Another one looked like a bird-woman, she had bright yellow feather instead of normal human arms and her legs were that of a bird too, those talons looked like they could cut me up pretty good too, so I stayed EXTRA vigilant around her, and lo-and-behold a whole flock of them colored in all of the different colors of the fucking rainbow came swooping down there and started messing around with each other like they didn't have a care in the world, and I noped out of there so quickly I almost ran into a tree, that would have been very embarrassing.

Anyway, right now the sun is finally setting. Overall, today was alright. Oh, who am I kidding! I somehow got into an alien world filled with all these unnaturally sexy half-animal half-human creatures who tried to rape me, TWICE. Jake's dead, all my colleagues are dead and Earth is probably a barren wasteland filled with mountains of skeletons in every major city in the world. I rate this experience zero out of ten. I wanna go home, but there IS NOT FUCKING HOME LEFT TO RETURN TO.

I can't sleep out in the open like a sitting duck, anything could jump me at night, be it predators or "predators", if you catch my drift.

I continue walking down the path, looking around for anything to hide inside from the dangerous outside world once it turns into night time, which means incoming big danger for me. I stop myself from going any further, because the road diverges into an intersection here, and there's no way I'm going on like this, I really need to get some shut-eye as soon as possible. And looks like Lady Luck is smiling upon me because on my left I spot a hill steeper than the one I arrived on, and best part is there's a cave on the hill side! What luck for lucky me!

I pull out my phone for the first time since I changed the time to roughly match this world's time, "Woah. I forgot about that, they say time flies by when you enjoy it, ha ha yeah fuck whoever made that up, because the only FUN thing about this whole fucking day is the fact that I still have some of my stuff with me. But everything else? I really wish to forget that." Just thinking about what might have happened to me today sends shivers down my spine, I really don't want THAT to happen. Even if a girl said "yes", I would still decline the offer, because of reasons I don't like talking about, my problems to deal with and no one else's.

I turn on the flashlight of my phone and carefully check what's inside the cave.

Nothing, there's nothing but walls made of dirt and stone, and it's a pretty small cave too, neat.

I enter my temporary "home", if you call it that way, and take off my back pack, using it as a pillow for tonight, turning off the flashlight function in my cellphone and setting an alarm for seven o'clock in the morning, gotta keep my sleep schedule consistent man. The cave actually feels pretty "cool", as a little cubby-hole and temperature wise. I tiredly yawn as I lay in a comfortable position, closing my eyes while hugging my bag for "emotional support". Today was a really fucking stressful day and I EARNED this rest. I really hope tomorrow will be better. I really need some answers for all of this, especially about those girls. Why do they have all those features? Was it some bizarre evolutionary advantage? Nah. It's probably magic, I'm pretty sure it exists in this world, I mean c'mon! It's so painfully obvious too, different colored moons? C'mon man. Also, why are there only female versions as far as I've seen? And what hell is Wonderland? "*Yawn* Ah. I'll figure it all eventually, good night world, I'll see you tomorrow."

As I begin to blissfully fall asleep, all the soreness from today's tomfuckery quickly dissolves into nothing. Unaware of a few gods watching over me all with different intents, one of them being a little TOO interested, but that's for the future. Now, I'll catch them Z's. Without getting jumped at night.

…

At least I hope so.

…

. . .

Author's note:

So! How was this for an opener of a chapter?

I tried to make it more life-like and add more details where I saw fit.

I would also love to hear your thoughts, I try to work on this as a hobby whenever I have spare time in my life, but I won't abandon this story.

I'll continue planning out every chapter and the shenanigans which shall occur when the right time comes.

Hope you enjoyed it!

-FHM